Breakeven
by Sam's Wish
Summary: I'm still alive but i'm barely breathing, just pray to a god that i don't believe in...Last chapter up! :
1. BE1

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Should i continue this?

* * *

_

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,_

_Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in_

_Coz when a heart breaks _

_no it don't break even.

* * *

_

Aaron is sat on the bench outside Smithy, casually running his hand through his dog's fur. He doesn't know it but it's calming him, somewhat at least. He's staring straight ahead, watching.

He's so lost in his own thoughts that he fails to notice his best mate's, Adam's car pull up. The first he notices Adam is when he's standing at the side of him, talking.

"Aaron?"

Aaron pulls his eyes from the scene in front of him to look at his best mate "oh hey" he says, trying to force a smile onto his face but it doesn't quite work. "What ya watching?" Adam asks as he drops down onto the bench beside him and looks down the road.

"Ah" Adam says when his eyes land on what he's watching. Adam's eyebrows lift and he opens his mouth to say something but closes it again because he doesn't actually know what he's going to say.

"He's going then" he finally settles on, glancing in his best friend's direction.

"Looks like it" Aaron replies.

They were sat at Smithy watching as Jackson loaded up his van, a few hundred feet down the road. He was leaving.

"So it's really over? After all this time?"

Aaron shoulders shrug "I told you it was last week"

Adam tuts "yeah but you two…" he trails off knowing Aaron will know what he's talking about. Those two were always arguing and then making up, it was the way they worked but apparently not this time.

"Yeah" Aaron says "not this time"

Deciding to take his mind off the fact his boyfriend, well ex boyfriend was currently in the middle of leaving the village Aaron focused all his attention on Adam "Where you off?"

"Into town, wanna come?"

Before Aaron can answer however, his dog, Chuck pulls away and takes off down the road "Chuck!" Aaron yells but it's no use, he knows the dog isn't going to listen to him and he also knows where he's headed

"Take that as no" Adam answers his own question with a laugh. Adam watches the dog run through the middle of the village "that's definitely your dog" he states "never listens"

Aaron scoffs "Yeah…He doesn't like Paddy's all that much" he laughs a little "I better go get him, see you in the pub later?"

Adam nods "Yeah" he says heading for his Jeep and jumping inside. He doesn't start the engine right away. Instead he sits and watches Aaron. To see what he's going to do.

Adam couldn't quite believe that it was really over. Aaron and Jackson were both his mates, he loved the both of them and was so used to them together that he wasn't sure how to deal with them apart. Would he ever actually see Jackson again after he left the village? After all Aaron had been the one he'd known first but he was just as good friends with Jackson these days too, he just hoped he could stay in touch with him.

When Aaron starts off down the road Adam finally pulls away, a little hopeful that they could sort things out.

Aaron is following his dog. He knows where he is, the same place he's found him for the past week. Home. Chuck made no secret of the fact he wanted to go home, he whined almost every night and every chance he got he would take off back to the house.

Aaron wasn't sure if Chuck was running back to the house or back to _him. _

Jackson had just been placing a box in the back of his van when he heard a dog barking and the sound of running. Turning around he found his dog, well their, no Aaron's dog running towards him. A smile broke out into his face. He'd missed that damn dog.

"Chuck!" he exclaimed bending down just in time for Chuck to bound into his arms "hey boy!" he exclaims petting him "where did you come from?" he scans the immediate area looking for _him _but he can't see him. He knows he wouldn't let Chuck out to run about by himself and that's when he spots him, standing at the top of the hill, with Adam's car parked in front of Smithy.

"You ran away again?" Jackson asked the dog, shaking his head "he's not gonna like that" Chuck wasn't listening to him and bolted in the front door.

Jackson left him; Aaron would come and get him eventually and even if he didn't Jackson wanted to spend time with him. He missed that dog as much as he missed _him. _

Aaron strolled casually down the road in truth he didn't want to be anywhere near Jackson while he packed up his stuff. It hurt enough just thinking about it but watching it? Aaron wasn't sure he could handle that.

"Where is he?" Aaron demands as he gets closer to Jackson.

Jackson lifts his eyebrows and stops what he's doing "Hello to you too" he faces him but Aaron's looking everywhere but at him

"Chuck. Where is he?" he asks again, still not making eye contact.

Jackson had been planning on telling him but his attitude was pissing him off, especially after all of _this _was his fault.

"He's my dog too, leave him"

That get's Aaron's attention and he finally meets his gaze and he says "you what?"

Jackson pulls a face "I said, he's my dog too. Leave him"

"Yeah. Like that's gonna happen. He'd be dead within a week. You're useless"

Jackson scoffs but doesn't reply. He doesn't really want an argument with Aaron, it's all they've been doing for the past 2 weeks and he's had enough of it.

Jackson's silence is cutting him, he feels as if someone is dragging a blade down his chest so he moves, away from Jackson and into the house to find his dog. Once inside they house, the house that up until 10 ten ago he shared with Jackson, he finally allows himself to breathe.

He finds Chuck in his favourite place, under the radiator in the Kitchen and he can't help but smile. He hadn't wanted that dog at first. Jackson had brought it home, knowing that sooner or later he'd cave and now he was losing Jackson. How did that happen?

"You've found him then" Jackson's sarcastic voice says from behind him and Aaron turns around.

Jackson is shocked by the emotion in Aaron's eyes and it hits him, for the first time just what's really going on.

"He misses you" Aaron admits. Jackson smiles and nods "I miss him too" he laughs "who would think I would miss a dog?"

"I miss you too" Aaron finally admits, quietly but Jackson still manages to hear it. Their eyes meet, deep blue staring into dark brown just like so many times before.

"Oh Aaron" Jackson says shaking his head before turning and heading up the stairs but Aaron is hot on his heels.

"Oh Aaron? Aaron demands "Oh Aaron what?"

They're inside their bedroom, the bedroom Aaron hasn't been in, in ten days. It's the exact same.

"We gave it our best shot. We got 7 years out of it, it was a good try"

Aaron is shaking his head. He can't believe he's saying this "A good try? And what? You're just giving in? Like that? Packing up and moving away?" Aaron demands, he's getting angry.

Jackson's eyebrows pull together "Moving away?" he shakes his head "That's for work, I'm not moving"

Aaron's face changes at that. Its good news for him, he was dreading Jackson moving "but that doesn't change anything Aaron. We're through"

Aaron is shaking his head "I said I was sorry! He isn't even pressing charges!"

Jackson laughs "and? Because he isn't pressing charges I've to just be grateful? And put up with everything you put me through?"

Aaron drops down onto the bed "I can't help it"

"You just don't trust me"

Aaron's quick to deny it "he kissed you!" he reminds him, once again getting to his feet.

"Yeah!" Jackson says "and I pushed him away, I told him I wasn't interested"

Aaron rolls his eyes "but you didn't listen to that did you? You just lashed out and then started accusing me of seeing other people because I was working late"

Aaron licks his lips. It's true. He allowed his insecurities to get the better of him, he let his jealousy get the better of him and he shouldn't have.

"And then!" Jackson continues "you come home, find my friend in the kitchen in just his boxers and deck him because you assume I've slept with him!"

Aaron drops his head onto his chest "I know" He knows he blew it all out of context but Jackson hasn't finished yet

"You could have walked in to find us both naked and you shouldn't have reacted like that!" he yells at him "after seven years Aaron! You should have trusted me, trusted that I loved you, _you!" _he emphasises his point by pushing him "and realise that if I was going to cheat on you I wouldn't do it in our village, in our home or our bed!"

"What do you want me to say Jackson? I can't say sorry anymore than I already have!"

"I want you to get out" Jackson admits "and don't come back"

Jackson is trying as hard as he can to keep his "game face" in place, he doesn't want to let on that he's missing him like mad. That the bed feels strange without him because it does. Sleeping beside the same person for seven years can have that affect on you. He can't let him know that he wants him back, he can't take him back. He's still the same Aaron he was at 18 and OK, Jackson still loves him but he doesn't want to put up with that, anymore.

"You want me to go?" Aaron asks trying to keep his voice from breaking.

Jackson nods. He doesn't but he's not going to say that. He's going to get Aaron Livesy out of his life and his system for once in 7 years. He can do it, he knows he can.

"Fine!" Aaron grunts roughly pushing Jackson out of the way and running down the stairs "leave the dog" Jackson says following him.

"As if!" Aaron retorts "Chuck, lets go" the dog is at his side within a minute and Aaron attaches the lead "he's my dog. He stays with me"

Jackson looks at the dog. He doesn't want to lose him but he's not about to fight with Aaron over him, especially when he doesn't want to lose either of them but if he has to for an easier life then he will.

"Slam the door on your way out" Jackson says with a hard smirk.

The door slams "Thank you!" he calls out and hears Aaron mumble some profanity back at him but he can't make out exactly what.

* * *

A/N - REVIEWS ARE WELCOME, WANTED AND APPRECIATED!


	2. BE2

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters don't belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Thanks to everyone who reviewed in Chapter 1! Let me know how you feel about this one! _

_

* * *

_

_Tell me how am I supposed to live without you_  
_Now that I've been lovin' you so long_  
_How am I supposed to live without you_  
_How am I supposed to carry on_  
_When all that I've been livin' for is gone_

_

* * *

_

Working right next to where he lived used to have its advantages for Aaron. He could roll out of bed as close to opening up time as possible and he didn't have far to travel. He loved it. Plus there was the fact he could just pop home at any given time if he needed something but for the past two weeks, it hadn't been that great.

Since he'd left the home he'd shared with Jackson, working right next door was agony, being so close yet still so far away. The times when the garage had been quiet were the worst, especially when Jackson was home and Aaron could see him through the windows. He used to love that, it was a game they would play, teasing each other, seeing who would give in and go to the other first. Aaron couldn't play that game anymore, he couldn't play any game with Jackson anymore and it hurt.

It was his fault, he was more than aware of that and it made it easier for him to be aware of it due to the fact everyone he came across constantly told him.

Aaron was on his way to work, from Smithy. He'd been living back there since he left Jackson. He hated it. He hated that bed it had no connection to Jackson anymore, not one. He hated waking up and not having their normal lover's tiff that was really just a bit of normal banter you would expect from couples.

He was passed by his house, their house and Jackson's van was still parked in the drive. His car was missing. Aaron's car usually sat right next to Jackson's van but he had moved it. He didn't live there anymore so he wasn't going to park his car there, his car now sat in the lot of the garage, he didn't use it all that much.

He usually took Chuck to work with him, he enjoyed lazing about the garage doing nothing but he had left him in Smithy, because of yesterday and to try and teach him a lesson. If he had been at the garage and especially now that Aaron knew Jackson was home the dog would have kept running home and Aaron didn't want to have to put up with that, not after their little disagreement the day before.

It was Midday and Aaron was the only one in, he wasn't busy but he was getting bored being all by himself. Ryan wasn't coming in until two. Aaron had been trying to keep himself busy, to keep from looking over at the house. It worked, a little anyway.

His head was inside the bonnet of a car when he heard footsteps on the gravel behind him. He turned around and was faced with the last person he expected to see. Jackson.

"What do you want?" Aaron asks while he cleans his hand on a rag "Aww" Jackson says sarcastically "missed you too"

Aaron rolls his eyes "What is it?"

"Ryan around?" Jackson asks. Aaron makes a show of looking around "does it look like it?"

Jackson rolls his eyes "is that a no then?"

Aaron nods

"Great" Jackson says with a nod. He scans the garage and forecourt "Where's Chuck?"

"Not here" Aaron informs him. His tone is distant, hard even, trying to keep any emotion from it what so ever, he doesn't want to argue with him again.

Jackson scoffs "dumped him on Paddy have you?"

Aaron straightens up and crosses his arms over his chest "It's nowt to do with you, why don't you just do one?"

Jackson smirks "that what you want is it?"

Aaron nods

"Really?" he asks, his eyebrows lifting "Really" Aaron says although his tone is far from convincing.

"Alright then" with that Jackson turns on his heel and heads back down the road and all Aaron can do it watch.

Aaron watches him go. A little annoyed at himself for making him go, did he make him go? He wasn't sure. He did know that he'd happily stand talking to him for any amount of time. The slamming of a door brings Aaron out of his daydream. Looking up he sees the door to their house close. He so wants to follow him. He wants to go in after him, slam the door and show him how sorry he was but he couldn't because Jackson wanted nothing to do with him.

Deciding to take his mind off it his problems and off of Jackson Aaron closes up for lunch.

It was after half 12 before Aaron came back from the pub. He noticed that Jackson's van was no longer in his drive and he felt a little disheartened that he wasn't going to see him while he worked.

Rounding the corner to the garage Aaron was stopped dead in his tracks. Up ahead, in front of the garage was Jackson's van, the bonnet was up and the garage doors were wide open, he had closed them but not only had he closed them he had locked them. What the hell was going on?

His question was answered however when he caught sight of a brown pony tail swinging from the side of the bonnet. Debbie. Aaron stalked towards her "What the hell's going on?" he demanded once he was at Jackson's van.

Debbie being Debbie just gave him a look "what's it look like?"

Aaron glared at her "Why you fixing his van?"

"Cause it's broke?" she answered pushing him out the way to pick up a tool that was lying on the ground.

Aaron was getting angry "how the hell did you get in?" he demanded to know "I locked up"

Debbie shrugged and went back to working on the van "Jackson gave me his keys"

Jackson. Aaron was going to kill him, really he was. "Where is he?" he demanded, his tone hard and cold but once again Debbie shrugged "I'm not his keeper, I'm fixing his van. You want him, you find him"

"Shut your face" Aaron says to her before heading to the house, that's where Jackson would be. He knows that.

* * *

Aaron doesn't even bother knocking; he just storms through the side door slamming it closed behind him. Debbie shakes her head because she really can't see what Jackson sees in him and she knows her friend loves him.

Jackson's in the living room when the door slams closed. He knows who it is, he's been expecting it "Where are ya?" he hears Aaron call out as he walks from the kitchen into the hallway. Jackson has just managed to get to his feet from the sofa when Aaron appears at the living room door.

"Can i…" before Jackson can make some sarcastic comment Aaron talks over him "gonna tell me what the hell you're playing at?"

Jackson looks at him, an innocent expression on his face "Playing at?" he asks faking innocence

"Debbie!" he says pointing towards the garage

"Oh, Debbie" Jackson says with a nod "she's fixing my van"

Aaron's eyes widen at Jackson's care free attitude "Is that why you came around earlier? Asking for Ryan? You wanted him to look at it?"

Jackson nodded and Aaron couldn't help but feel a little hurt

"What about me, huh?" he demands to know "I know that van better than anyone. I know that van better than you!" Aaron exclaims.

"We're not together anymore Aaron" Jackson says to him as if that makes any sense

"And?" Aaron pushes, needing more information than just that.

"And I can't use you as my own personal mechanic anymore, can i?"

Aaron doesn't see why he can't use him as his own personal mechanic anymore. He has no problems with him using him.

Aaron's arms are crossed now and he's licking his lips as Jackson's words digest "I know that van better than anyone" Aaron says again "You should have asked me"

"Well I didn't" Jackson says with a sigh "I asked my mate, not you. Get over it, yeah?"

A hurt looks passes across Aaron's face and it doesn't go unnoticed by Jackson but he forces himself not to react. He can't care if he's hurting Aaron because Aaron never cares if he's hurting him.

Aaron nods his head a little "right" he says, closing himself off "Whatever" he turns to walk out but stops to say one last thing "The keys you gave Debbie? I'm keeping them"

Jackson lets him go and once again the side door slams. He leans himself back against the wall and takes a deep breath. He wanted to ask Aaron to look at the van but he had assumed he would say no, just to be annoying so he hadn't asked him. He would always ask Aaron before Debbie, he'd ask Aaron before anyone. He didn't want to hurt him he just needed to make a clean break but he question he couldn't answer was: Could he do it?

Five minutes later Jackson still hadn't moved from his spot against the wall and he could hear raised voices. Voices that belonged to Aaron and Debbie then after a few minutes it went silent and he heard his door being opened and closed again only this time it wasn't slammed so he knew it wasn't Aaron.

Debbie came walking through the kitchen door a few seconds later "Hey" she says with a small smile and leans against the door frame "he kicked me off the forecourt"

Jackson laughs "and you let him?"

Debbie shrugs "he seemed like he had some issues"

Jackson nods "yeah" he agrees "he wasn't very happy that I got you to look at the van"

"Told you he wouldn't be"

"I knew he wouldn't be but I thought he'd just be a pain about it"

Debbie nods "and I've to tell you that you are not getting your keys back"

Jackson laughs "he told me that himself"

Debbie smiles slightly "You alright?"

Jackson tries to put a brave face on it and smiles "I'm great" he lies, she knows it's a lie but she isn't going to pick him up on it "did he say when he would be finished?"

"I'd almost done, so it shouldn't take him long"

Jackson nods and Debbie pulls him into a hug "see you in the Woolpack later?"

"Yeah" Jackson smiles at her "I owe you a drink for fixing the van" she laughs "anytime" then lets herself out the front door.

At half one Jackson still hasn't heard from Aaron and heads out to the garage, his van is still parked in front but the bonnet is closed

"Aaron?" he calls out and Aaron appears from the office "What do you want?"

Jackson's eyebrows pull together "My van"

"In a rush to get somewhere are you?"

Jackson shrugs but Aaron continues "what's the rush for the van?"

"I've got work" Jackson admits but Aaron shakes his head "No you haven't, I checked your diary"

"You checked my diary? What are you stalking me now?"

"You wish" Aaron scoffs retrieving the van keys from his pocket and throwing them towards Jackson "here, it's fine"

Jackson catches the keys "thanks" Aaron nods and silence descends, an awkward silence, something that rarely ever happens between the two of them.

Aaron clears his throat "I better get back to work" he says, trying to ease the awkward tension "Yeah, me too" Jackson says backing off "cheers"

"Don't be a Pratt and get Debbie to do it again, alright?"

Jackson nods and disappears into his house.

It's just after seven when Jackson is making himself something to eat and he hears the letterbox open and close. Pulling open the kitchen door he sees an envelope sitting on the mat by the front door. Curious he opens it and inside he finds his set of keys to the garage.

Jackson smiles to himself. He doesn't know why that small little gesture from Aaron makes him feel so happy but it does. Aaron could have kept them, then everything belonging to Aaron would be out of the house but he hadn't.

Clutching the keys in his hand Jackson grinned to himself before disappearing back into the kitchen and slipping the keys into his pocket.

* * *

A/N - REVIEWS ARE WELCOME, WANTED & APPRECIATED!


	3. BE3

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Thanks for all the reviews! Keem 'em coming!

* * *

_

_He knows better but_  
_He can't help it_  
_Wanna tell him_  
_But would that be selfish_  
_How do you heal_  
_A heart that can't feel, it's broken_  
_His love is all he knows, all he knows, all he knows_  
_His love is all he knows, all he knows, all he knows_

_- Bruno Mars

* * *

_

Jackson was between jobs and at a loose end. He could sit around the house, moping. Well, not moping exactly, he'd be more likely to stand in the kitchen and stare at the garage all day. He had been doing that a lot lately, staring at him. God he missed him, he annoyed the hell out of him but he missed him.

He was currently standing in his kitchen, staring at the garage with a coffee in his hand but he wasn't staring at Aaron, no, he was looking for Chuck but apparently Aaron had left him at Smithy again. With his mind made up Jackson poured the rest of his coffee down the drain and headed towards Smithy to see his dog. He needed to see him, he missed that damn dog as much and if not more than he missed Aaron.

For the first time in a long time Jackson knocked on the door to Smithy, he never knocked but he wasn't with Aaron anymore and he felt as if he had to. The door opens a few seconds later with a confused Paddy standing behind it. He looks at Jackson then at the door "it wasn't locked" he says stepping aside, gesturing for Jackson to come in "Why did you knock?"

Jackson slid his hands into his jean pockets and shrugged his shoulders "Uh…thought I should"

Paddy shook his head "You never have to knock, you know that"

Jackson smiled sheepishly "sorry" he says and Paddy nods "don't do it again" Jackson laughs "I won't" he promises. Like Aaron Jackson had come to see Paddy somewhat as a Father figure, he loved the man, a lot and didn't want his relationship with Paddy to change just because his relationship with Aaron had changed.

"What can I do for you? Aaron's at the garage"

"Oh I know" Jackson informs him "I'm here to take Chuck off your hands, I'm not at work, thought I'd take him for a run"

"Oh right" Paddy says, nodding but Jackson can see he looks a little apprehensive "I'll bring him back" he promises knowing that Paddy's look is related to how Aaron will react.

Paddy shakes his head "Of course you will! Chuck!" he yells and a few seconds later the sound of paw steps could be heard coming from the other room.

The dog walks into the room and as soon as he spots Jackson he bounds towards him, jumping up and wagging his tail.

"Someone's happy to see you" Paddy says with a smile on his face and Jackson has to push the dog down off of him "Yeah, tell me about it" Jackson says petting the dog and trying to calm him "got his lead?"

Paddy looks around the room "Oh there it is!" he exclaims plugging it off the hook by the door. Jackson takes it from him and attaches it to Chuck's collar.

Saying his Goodbyes to Paddy Jackson walked out of Smithy and headed straight towards the river and the acres of empty fields that Chuck loved to roam. He wasn't sure how long he had been walking before he came across the cricket pavilion. It was empty so he sat down on the bench outside. Chuck was still roaming around with his ball and Jackson was happy to let him, he wasn't going to run away.

After five minutes of playing on the field Chuck was bored of playing by himself and headed for Jackson. Standing in front of Jackson he drops the ball at his feet.

"What do you want?" Jackson asks picking up the ball "you wanna play" Chuck stands in front of him wagging his tail and Jackson laughs "maybe in a bit" he promises the dog "I'm knackered"

Chuck lays his head onto Jackson's thighs and Jackson runs his hand through his hair, petting him, comforting not only himself but the dog too.

"I miss him" Jackson starts "I really do and I know he misses me" Chuck pulls a face, Jackson is talking but he can't quite make out just what he's saying. "Look at me" he laughs "talking to a dog" he sighs "but you're the only one I can talk to aren't ya?" Jackson asks him "at least I know you won't tell him what I say to you" Chuck whines a little, he doesn't want to sit, he wants to play.

"But it's for the best, right?" he asks looking at Chuck as if he's waiting on him answering "Seven years and that's it. Done"

Jackson found sitting on a bench at the cricket pavilion talking to his dog rather relaxing. He told that dog things he'd been dying to say to someone but couldn't. He told him about how much he missed Aaron and how he wanted to take him back but he wasn't going to because he didn't want to end up in the same position in two or three years time.

He told Chuck that he missed him and that sooner or later he'd have to stop seeing him because things between him and Aaron would change. It was only when Chuck pulled away and started pulling on Jackson's jeans that he finally shut up and focused on the dog once more.

"Sorry boy!" he exclaims pushing himself to his feet "Been neglecting you, haven't i?" with that Jackson throws the ball as far as he can for Chuck to fetch.

Aaron had finished work early was going home, well back to Smithy. It didn't feel like home anymore but he was headed back there any way, he was going to take Chuck out for a bit. Walking Chuck gave him time to think, away from distractions.

Inside Smithy Aaron called on his dog but he couldn't hear anything. Silence reined, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Where the hell was his dog? Aaron headed into the surgery to see if he was hanging around there but he couldn't see him instead he found Rhona.

"Seen Chuck?"

Rhona shook her head "Oh right" Aaron says turning around to walk away but Rhona's voice stops him "I know where he is though"

Aaron turns back to her but she just stares at him "You gonna tell me?" he finally snaps.

She pulls a face and says "Jackson took him out"

"Jackson?"

"Yes Jackson" Rhona says "did I stutter?"

Aaron scowls "When?" he demands. What the hell did Jackson think he was playing at?

Rhona shrugs "a few hours ago" she says and Aaron is storming out of the surgery door. He's pissed. What was Jackson doing taking him without telling him? Where had he taken him? And he better not think he's keeping him.

Outside Smithy Aaron checks to see if Jackson's van is still outside the house, it is. So he's obviously not run away with the dog. Aaron heads towards the fields. Jackson is on his way back towards the village when he spots a figure walking towards them. He knows who its, he'd know that silhouette anywhere, day or night.

Jackson sighed. He wasn't in the mood for this and he could tell by the way Aaron was marching that he was annoyed but Jackson didn't want a fight.

Aaron called on the dog and he looked at Jackson, as if asking if he was allowed to go. Jackson nodded and said "Go" and Chuck ran as fast as he could towards Aaron.

Jackson continued towards Aaron, he wasn't in the mood for an argument but he was prepared for one. With less than six feet between them Jackson starts talking "What you doing here?"

Aaron's about to say something nasty, he's about to be sarcastic but looking at Jackson he looks wary and he changes his mind.

"Thought I'd join you" Aaron decides on saying and he can see the surprise on Jackson's face

"Really?" Jackson asks, not really convinced "really" Aaron confirms

"Why?" Jackson asks

"Nowt better to do"

Jackson rolls his eyes "thanks for that"

Aaron smirks "did you want me to lie?"

"You're already lying" Jackson says and Aaron pulls a face "what you on about?"

"You didn't come here to join me, you came here to bitch about me taking him" he points at the dog, who is standing in-between them "what changed?"

Aaron shrugs. Jackson has him. He has him because he knows him better than anyone "Just changed my mind"

"Why?" Jackson pushed, Aaron didn't just change his mind for no reason and especially not when it involved an argument.

Aaron shrugs "cause you look depressed" he tells him, a sheepish smile on his face "didn't want to make you feel worse"

Jackson smiles a little at that "thanks" he says with a small laugh.

After a few minutes of silence and Jackson looking anywhere but at him Aaron speaks again "what's wrong with you?"

Jackson quickly shakes his head "Nothing" he informs him "bad day" Aaron looks at Chuck "did your walk help any?"

Jackson looks at Chuck too "he always cheers me up"

Aaron scoffs and Jackson looks at him, he doesn't say anything but Jackson can tell he's thinking _I could to or what? I couldn't_ but he doesn't say anything and nor does Jackson.

"Well" Jackson says breaking the silence "I was on my way back to the village"

"Oh" Aaron says, he was hoping to spend some time with him but obviously that wasn't about to happen "mind if I walk with you?"

"Promise to keep your hands to yourself?" Jackson teases with a grin and Aaron smirks back "I think I'll manage to control myself"

"Alright" Jackson says with his grin still in place and they head back towards the village. They're walking side by side, close enough for it to be comfortable but not too close. Aaron wanted to be closer, he wanted to reach out and take his hand or something but he didn't. He promised to keep his hands to himself and that's what he's going to do.

"How's the van?" Aaron asks as they head back to the village, he has to make small talk because the silence would kill him and he'd end up doing something he would regret, like grabbing him and kissing him or starting an argument about their split, again.

"It's alright; got this mechanic I know to look at it"

"Oh yeah?" Aaron asks

"Yeah"

"Any good this mechanic?" Aaron asks, a smile playing on his lips

Jackson shrugs "He's alright"

They're flirting. They both know it but they can't quite bring themselves to care. It's been weeks since they flirted with each other, it's been weeks since they touched each other and how they ache too.

"Just alright?" Aaron asks, pulling a face "surely he's better than that?"

Jackson's head tilts to the side "He has his moments" he retorts with a smile and Aaron can't help but smile too. They're getting closer to the village, to Smithy and Aaron knows Jackson is going to walk away.

They've stopped, in the middle of the field, just in front of Smithy but still a fair bit away and they're moving towards each other, slowly.

Aaron's gaze flicks between Jackson's eyes and his mouth, he's going to kiss him and he's not hiding it. He's giving Jackson every change to pull away but he isn't and as always, when things are going right for them something always goes wrong and Jackson's phone goes off, ruining the moment.

Jackson quickly pulls away, putting space between them as he answers his phone. He walks a few steps in front of Aaron and heads back to the village.

"Damn it!" Aaron swears out loud, he was just getting somewhere "Chuck!" he yells on the dog who has ran to the other side of the field and he follows Jackson.

While following Jackson back to the village it became increasingly hard not to listen to his conversation. He was arranging to go out and Aaron felt as if his heart has dropped into his stomach. He was a free agent now, he could go out and guys could hit on him and there was nothing he could do about it. Jackson could go home with them if he wanted, back to his home, their home and their bed. He hated it.

Jackson ends his call and stops until Aaron catches up with him "Who was that?" Aaron asks

"A mate"

"Who?"

Jackson's eyebrows pull together "nowt to do with you anymore, remember?"

Aaron's face hardens and he snatches the lead from Jackson's back pocket "Go to hell"

Jackson didn't want to be so mean but he had to be, that near kiss got to him more than it should. He should never have let that almost happen. He's meant to be moving on, finding someone else. Ok, so the chances of him finding someone he loved as much as Aaron are pretty slim but he didn't need to fall in love, he needed to forget.

"Oh yeah, there you go, run away" Jackson shook his head "it's what you do best"

Aaron stopped a few feet in front of him "at least I'm not the one going around kissing other guys while I have a boyfriend!"

With that said Aaron storms away and into Smithy. He knows he shouldn't have said it. It wasn't what happened, he knows that, now. That guy had kissed Jackson and Jackson had pushed him away but that had already set his mind into over drive and set his insecurities soaring, could Jackson be cheating? He had wondered way back then and the day he came home to find that guy in his kitchen in just his boxers, well…he lost it.

Jackson watches as the door to Smithy closes, he can't believe what Aaron has just said to him. Aaron knows he didn't kiss anyone else, he wouldn't, he couldn't he was far too in love with him to think about touching someone else, even now but Jackson knew he had to.

Pulling his mobile out his pocket he called his friend back, he had been arranging to go out when they called earlier but at the end of the phone call Jackson had opted out of it but only when he was sure Aaron couldn't hear but now, he was going.

"You still going out?" he asked when his friend answered "yeah, I'm coming. No…Just me, we're finished"

* * *

A/N - REVIEWS ARE MOST WELCOME, WANTED AND APPRECIATED! THANK YOU!


	4. BE4

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_

* * *

_

_I may not have the softest touch _  
_I may not say the words as such _  
_I know I don't fit in that much_  
_But I'm yours_

_

* * *

_It was just after 8pm and Aaron was sat in the Woolpack. He was alone. Well he was sat alone at the bar. His Mum was in, Adam was in everyone he knew was in but he wasn't in the mood to mingle. He just wanted a quiet drink.

The pub was busy but it was Friday night, he expected it. He felt like taking a six pack and sitting at the cricket pavilion but he thought better of that and ended up in the pub.

"Mind if I join you?" a voice asked from behind him but before he could reply they were already slipping into the empty stool beside him "didn't think so"

Aaron can't help but laugh. Who would have thought they would still be friends?

"What you moping about now?" Victoria asks, nudging his arm with her shoulder as she leans on the bar "not still Jackson is it?"

Aaron scoffs "as if" he says but Victoria knows him just as well as Adam does after all he had known her longer than him.

Victoria laughs "Yeah…looks like it"

Aaron rolls his eyes "can't you annoy someone else?"

Victoria feigns a shocked look and clutches her chest "how dare you!" she exclaims in a high pitched voice "here I am, trying to cheer you up"

"You're doing a great job" Aaron sarcastically remarks

Victoria shrugs "I'm not good at cheering people up"

"Never would have guessed"

Victoria is quiet for a few minutes while she thinks things through. Aaron is watching her warily, it's not like her to be silent for so long "…Vic?" he asks after the silence has stretched on too long for his liking

"Wanna have sex?" she suddenly blurts out and Aaron spits his drink all over the bar while choking "You…what?" he manages to say while choking.

Victoria grins "that cheered you up" Aaron dips his head and laughs while wiping away the spilt drink with a napkin "Yeah…guess it did" he looks at her "thanks but uh…it was bad enough the first time"

Victoria gasps and whacks him on the shoulder as hard as she can "Pratt!" she exclaims "for that, your buying me drink all night"

Aaron shakes his head "I'll buy you one, then you buy me them. I'm the one that's just been dumped"

Victoria rolls her eyes and scoffs "whose fault it that?"

Aaron scowls. She's apparently on Team Jackson too, great. Was there anyone in this village who was on his side?

"Do you want this drink or not?" Aaron asks once Mhoira has placed it on the bar and Victoria quickly nods "I won't mention it again" she states and Aaron nods before taking his hand away from the glass "At least until you buy me another drink anyway" she adds on.

Aaron changed the subject from him and his love life onto her and hers. They were in deep conversation, complete with good natured banter when the doors to the Woolpack opened and in walked Jackson.

Aaron didn't notice as he was too busy with his conversation to notice what was going on in and around the pub. He was enjoying himself with Victoria and he hadn't enjoyed himself in a long time or at least that's what it felt like.

Jackson was in the Woolpack because he had a date. Ok, so maybe he shouldn't have invited the guy to the Woolpack but it was his local and he could do as he wanted, he didn't care what anyone else thought.

His date's name was Ross and he had met him two nights ago at a Gay bar he had gone too after his near kiss with Aaron. He wasn't his type, although after seven years with Aaron Jackson wasn't sure what his type was anymore. Where else was he likely to find an emotionally stunted, mechanic with blue eyes and shaven head? Plus Ross was blonde, kinda cute and he was just looking for a bit fun. Jackson was happy with him.

Jackson wasn't sure why he chose the Woolpack. Well actually that was a lie. He did know, he suggested they meet in the Woolpack to show Aaron that he was moving on. He needed to show him that he wasn't hung up on him anymore, that he wasn't going back to him. It may have been a lie and Jackson was still completely nuts about him but he needed to put a good front on it at least.

"Grab a seat" Jackson says to Ross as he points at an empty table in the corner "I'll get us a drink"

While at the bar Jackson's eyes are drawn to Aaron. He's with Victoria and he looks as if he's having a good time. Jackson is happy for him, really he is. He wants him to be happy and have a good time. When Aaron's happy, Jackson's happy.

"Two pints please Mhoira"

Aaron is talking to Victoria, the pub is busy and all different voices can he heard yet Aaron still manages to hear his voice, clear as day above all the rest. Just for a second, he freezes mid conversation and toys with the idea of looking around but somehow he manages to not turn at that moment and continues with his conversation.

Victoria laughs at something Aaron has just said and her eyes scan the room, she spots him, them and her eyes widen. What the hell is she gonna do? Licking her lips she looks back at Aaron and tries to restart their conversation, to keep his attention on her "where were we?" she asks, hoping to keep his attention.

Aaron shrugs "no idea, think it's your turn to buy me a drink though" he says as he stretches out his back, it's sore from being sat on the stool all night. That's when he sees them. Victoria is watching him with cautious and scared eyes. What will he do? She'll never be able to stop him if he kicks off. She scans the room once more, looking for someone who could. She finds them, Chas is sat behind her and Adam is with his Dad. They would stop him, thankfully.

Aaron's throat tightens the minute his eyes land on them and he swallows the lump that has formed. He can't believe what he's seeing. Jackson. Jackson with another guy, sitting way too close for his liking.

Aaron wanted to barge over and demand an explanation until he remembered they were over and it was his fault. Jackson could see whoever the damn hell he wanted and he couldn't do anything about it.

Glancing at Victoria he noticed she looked a little scared "I'm not going to do anything" he assures her and she nods "I'll get you that drink" she quickly orders them two more drinks, hoping to keep his mind off of Jackson.

Aaron is listening to Victoria or at least, he's trying to but he can't keep his eyes from looking over at Jackson. He couldn't quite believe that he was with someone else. How could he move on so quickly?

"He's trying to annoy you" Victoria's voice suddenly pulls him back to her and away from Jackson

"You what?" he asks "Jackson" she says nodding in his direction "he's trying to wind you up"

Aaron shrugs, trying to be casual "doesn't bother me"

Victoria snorts and laughs "Really?" she asks in a sarcastic tone "well I'd hate to see you if it did bother you"

Aaron scowls "shut up"

"You shut up!" she retorts "I'm not scared of you Livesy!" she tells him "I've seen you naked"

Aaron laughs "Yeah, I've seen you naked too. That's what made me realise I was Gay"

Victoria's eyes drifted to Jackson and she snorted "Yeah…" she says with a longing in her voice "I guess he would look better naked than me" she grins "he's hot"

Aaron shakes his head and laughs, he usually hates it when people comment on Jackson's appearance mostly because it's usually Charity or Katie but he didn't mind too much when Victoria did it, he knew she was only trying to wind him up whereas the other two actually meant it.

"Going to the bog" Aaron says swinging himself off the bar stool "classy as always" comments Victoria but he doesn't reply.

With Aaron at the toilet Victoria has a chance to stare at Jackson and his "date" without worrying that Aaron will see her. She can't actually believe he's brought his date into the Woolpack to rub it in Aaron's face. She has to say something.

"Hi" she says plastering on a huge smile as she stands by their table. Jackson and Ross both look up at the same time

"Uh…Hi" Ross says smiling at her but she scowls at him and looks at Jackson, who sighs "what do you want Victoria?"

"How about you tell me what you're playing at?"

"Victoria" Jackson says with a small, nervous laugh. He doesn't want a scene and she was the last person he expected to be causing one for him "go back to the bar" he says calmly.

Victoria's arms are crossed over her chest and she's shaking her head "I'm going nowhere" she looks Ross up and down "That his replacement? Pretty weak"

Ross looks between the two of them "Am I missing something?" he asks, looking at Jackson but before he can answer Victoria answers for him

"Yeah, you're only here to wind up his ex"

Ross looked at Jackson who shook his head "Ignore her, she's drunk"

* * *

Victoria started her tirade, telling Ross all about how Jackson was only trying to wind up Aaron just as Aaron came back from the toilets. He noticed Victoria was no longer at the bar and he immediately looked over at Jackson, there she was hands on her hips having a go.

Adam came to stand beside him "she's giving him a right earful"

Aaron laughed "I can see that" Aaron looked at his best mate "get her will you?"

"You get her" Adam says "she's your guard dog"

"Haha, very funny" Aaron says with a roll of his eyes "come on" he begs "if I go over there I'll just kick off and no one wants that"

With a nod Adam does what is asked of him and heads over to Jackson's table. Slipping his arm around Victoria's waist from behind he pulls her away "sorry boys" he says with a smile "she hasn't had her meds"

Jackson smiles gratefully at his friend "hey! Let me go!" Victoria starts to protest about being pulled away but Adam doesn't let her go. A few people are staring but nobody really cares.

Adam finally lets go of her when they are in front of Aaron, she smiles up him sheepishly "back from the toilet I see"

Aaron glares at her "what was that?" he demands and she shrugs "just sticking up for you" she says defending herself.

Aaron gives her a pointed look "I don't need you to stick up for me, I'm a big boy, I can do it myself"

Victoria rolls her eyes "yeah, whatever. Want a drink?" she says completely changing subject. Adam laughs and shakes his head "I'll get back to my dad"

"Cheers mate" Aaron says patting him on the back before turning back to Victoria "I should like…knock you out or something" he says with a small frown.

Victoria smiles because from the look on his face and the tone of his voice she knows Aaron isn't going to do anything. "Pint?" she asks with a grin and he nods "Pint" he agrees before slipping back onto the bar stool.

Victoria orders the drink and Aaron drops his head onto the bar counter, banging it against it a couple of times "what you doing?" she queries

"Trying to kill myself" he says sarcastically. Victoria scoffs "tried to once before didn't work out too well, remember?"

Aaron sighs and sits back up "Yeah" he looks over at Jackson "what's he done to me?"

"You what?" Victoria asks

"Well…I should be ripping you a new one for the stunt you just pulled but I'm letting you away with it. He's made me soft" he says shaking his head in disgust "then goes and dumps me"

Victoria can't help but laugh "You? Soft? Never in a million years" she informs him "you let me away with it because secretly your glad I did it and you really want to do something yourself but you won't cause you want him to think it's not bothering you"

Aaron didn't reply, he just took a drink of his pint and waited on Victoria changing the subject. Which she did and Aaron was grateful. He may not have wanted to hear about her love life but it was better than talking about his own, or lack of.

Back over at Jackson's table he felt he had to apologise for Victoria "I'm sorry about her"

Ross smiled and looked over at where Adam had pulled Victoria "that your ex?" he asks nodding at Adam.

Jackson laughed and quickly shook his head "Uh…no, not him" he says with a smile. Ross' eyebrows pulled together, if not him then who? He asked himself just as he noticed Adam and Victoria stop in front of Aaron.

"Him?" he asks looking at Jackson and Jackson nods.

Ross' eyes widened. He didn't look gay and his gay-dar wouldn't have picked that up "Hmm" Ross nodded "not bad"

Jackson cleared his throat "but it's not true what she said. I didn't bring you here to wind him up. We just live in the same village"

Ross looks at Jackson and grins "I don't care if you did. I'm liking it here"

Jackson laughs "Well I didn't and I'm glad she hasn't made you run for the hills, before she interrupted I was enjoying myself"

"Good" Ross smiles "another one?" he points at the empty glass and Jackson nods.

He was listening to Victoria but he was resting his arms on he bar and his head on his hands and every now and then his attention would waver, or at least his eyes would. He would look over at him, at them, just to see what was going on.

Unfortunately for Aaron he chose the wrong time to look over, it was just as Ross slid his hand over Jackson's thigh. Aaron felt his throat tighten and his heart beat increased. He couldn't believe the cheek of the guy, did he wanna be decked?

Slamming his empty glass down on the counter Aaron had enough. He couldn't sit in the pub with Jackson sat so close but so obviously not caring about him. "I'm getting off" he says abruptly, standing up

"Oh, alright" Victoria shrugs "see ya then"

"Wanna grab a few cans and go back to Smithy?"

Victoria grinned and hopped off her own bar stool "let's go then" she says hooking her hand around his arm and dragging him out of the pub.

It was after midnight and Aaron had enjoyed himself with Victoria but she was heading home now "I'll walk you" he tells her as he grabs Chuck's lead intent on taking the dog with him.

"It's like 100 yards" Victoria says rolling her eyes "I think I can get there on my own"

Aaron shrugs "You never know what weirdo's you'll find in the middle of a village at this time of night" he tells her, pushing her towards the door "plus he needs a walk" he says pointing at the dog.

Aaron had walked Victoria to the back door of the pub, she still lived there with Diane and he was now headed for the field, to give Chuck a run when the sound of a running car pulled his attention down the road.

The car was parked outside his place, well Jackson and Scarlett's place now. He moved out. It was a taxi and it was clearly waiting on someone. Aaron knew who it was waiting on and he felt a stab in his stomach. Had Jackson slept with him? He couldn't have. Jackson wouldn't sleep with someone on the first date but…was this even their first date? Aaron didn't know. He stood by the side of the pub, hidden behind some trees but he could see them perfectly.

They were stood on the door step. Jackson stood just inside the door, with the guy, Aaron didn't know his name, nor did he really want to, standing on the step outside.

What happened next made Aaron want to punch something or more accurately someone. The guy kissed Jackson and Jackson reciprocated it. A few seconds later the taxi drove past and Aaron watched it until it drove out of sight. He couldn't believe it. He was moving on and Aaron couldn't have that. He had to get him back.

There was only one thing for it he decided. He had to move back home and show Jackson that he wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

A/N - As always reviews are wanted, welcome and appreciated! Thank you!


	5. BE5

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_

* * *

_

_How do I end up in the same old place _  
_Faced again with the same mistakes _  
_So stubborn, thinking I know what is right _  
_But life proves me wrong every time _

_Taking roads that lead me no where, _  
_How do I expect to get there _  
_But when will I learn to just put you first_

_- Move on By Bruno Mars_

_

* * *

_

10 am Saturday morning and Aaron was up. The garage was closed so Paddy was confused as to why he could hear Aaron moving around in his room, when the garage was closed or he wasn't going in early he barely surfaced before 12.

After the tenth time of hearing something drop curiosity got the better of Paddy and he headed towards the stairs, he wanted to know what was going on but just as he got to the foot of the stairs Aaron was walking down them.

"Alright Paddy?" he grins at the older man patting him on the shoulder "any Coffee going?" he asks and Paddy notices he looks happy, or at least happier than he has in a while.

"Yeah, I'll get you it" Paddy says as he shuffles into the kitchen and proceeds to make Aaron a cup of Coffee.

Aaron drops down into one of the chairs by the table as he waits on his Coffee "You were making a racket, what were you upto?"

Aaron laughs at Paddy's subtle attempt at finding out what he was doing "Packing" he announces just as Rhona walks in.

Paddy looks at Aaron and then at Rhona until he eventually looks back at Aaron "Packing?" he asks "What for?" he says as he places the cup on the table and stands waiting on an explanation.

"I'm moving out" he flashes them a quick smile "on the bright? Rhona will be happy"

Rhona scowls at him as she slips into an empty seat next to him "I've quite liked having you around"

"I bet" Aaron snorts.

Paddy's standing by the table shaking his head "Moving out? Where will you go? What's wrong with here?" he throws all these questions at him and Aaron smiles, obviously Paddy doesn't want him to go and he wouldn't be going if he wasn't just going home.

"I'm going home" he says softly

"This is your home!" Paddy announces but Rhona is looking at Aaron like he's crazy "Home?" she repeats and Aaron nods

"You mean back in with Jackson?"

"And Scarlett" Aaron adds nodding

"Oh!" Paddy exclaims in an excited voice "Are you two back together then?"

Rhona scrunches her face up. It was obvious to her that Aaron and Jackson weren't back together because for one thing Aaron had slept in his bed last night at Smithy. If he was back with Jackson, surely he would have slept there.

"No" Aaron says frowning "I'm just going home"

Paddy is now violently shaking his head "and what does Jackson say about this?"

Aaron snorts "Nowt to do with him is it? I've still paying that mortgage, just like him and if I want to live there, I will" he states in a matter of fact tone.

"But you've split up Aaron" Rhona says softly. Aaron's eyebrows lift "Wow…tell me something I don't know" he replies sarcastically.

Rhona scowls at him, she likes him but sometimes he infuriates her "Jackson's had enough of you, can't you leave him alone"

"Shut your face, will ya?" he says pushing away from the table and stomping up the stairs.

Paddy looks at Rhona and shakes his head "Great. That was helpful!" he says to her "Well, someone has to get through to him"

"You certainly didn't"

Rhona shrugs. No one is going to get through to him. He's gonna have to see it for himself, she wouldn't be there to pick up the pieces but Paddy would, she knew that.

Aaron walks back into his room in Smithy and finishes throwing the rest of his stuff into bags. He's leaving. It's now quarter past ten and he has every intention of being back home before half past ten.

A knock at the door interrupts him, he doesn't turn around, and he doesn't have to. He knows who it is

"I'm not changing my mind Paddy" he says without looking around.

"What's wrong with living here?" Paddy asks walking further into the room. Aaron lets out a heavy sigh before turning around and looking at the older man. He knows he's enjoyed having him back home and if he didn't want Jackson back so much he would stay, of course he would.

"Nowt Paddy" he tells him "I just want…I want him back" he admits, a small blush creeping over his features.

"I..I don't…" Paddy stutters not quite sure how to tell him he doesn't think it's going to happen "I know everyone thinks he's better off without me but…I miss him Paddy"

Paddy nods and smiles, he knows Aaron misses him. He's been down in the dumps since he moved back in and the night he moved back in? Well Paddy had never seen Aaron that upset and neither one of them had spoke about it since.

Paddy clears his throat, he might not like it and he didn't want Aaron to get any more hurt that he already was but he'd give him his blessing, even although he wasn't asking for it.

"Ok. I'll stop trying to change your mind"

Aaron's eyebrows knit together "really?" he asks surprised "I thought you'd moan at me a lot more than that"

Paddy laughs and pulls Aaron into an awkward hug "I just want you to be happy" Aaron returns the hug, holding onto Paddy as tight as he could for a few minutes before finally releasing him.

"I will be" he promises him "I just can't give up until I knew I've gave it my best shot and I can't do that here"

Paddy nods "I'll see you when you get downstairs then"

Aaron nods and Paddy walks out leaving him to do the rest of his packing.

Ten minutes later Aaron came downstairs, Chuck following him and two big duffle bags in his hands

"All packed?" Rhonas asks curiously as she stands in the kitchen with a cup in her hands

"Yeah" Aaron smirks "won't you be glad to get rid of me"

Rhona rolls her eyes. He's hard work but she loves him just as much as Paddy these days "Course not, you'll be back before 12, he'll kick you out"

"Rhona!" Paddy exclaims but she just smiles and Aaron rolls his eyes "Well…he could try but I won't be leaving" he states "I'll see you in the pub later or something, yeah?"

* * *

Jackson was in the kitchen when he heard the front door open and close, he didn't think much of it and assumed it was Scarlett especially when he heard footsteps walking up the stairs.

It wasn't until the kitchen door was pushed open and a small furry nose poked through it. Jackson's eyebrows pulled together "Chuck?" he says, in a surprised tone and Chuck pushes the door completely open and walks into the kitchen, straight up to Jackson.

Jackson bends down so he's eye level with the dog "Hey boy" he says petting him on the head "What you doing here?" he asks "better question, how did you get here?"

Aaron had just dropped his bags off in the spare room that was going to be his room, for a while at least. As he walked back downstairs he could hear Jackson talking to the dog.

"He's with me" he says as he steps into the hallway.

Jackson looks up from Chuck when hears Aaron's voice, his eyes widening in surprise and he straightens up "what the hell…" he says unable to finish his sentence because he really doesn't know what to finish it with.

Aaron walks into the kitchen and casually leans against the counter "Honey, I'm home" he replies with a sarcastic grin on his face.

Jackson's mouth drops open and she shakes his head "Oh, no. No, no, no, no" he chants over again much to the amusement of Aaron.

"You're not moving back in" he states

"Think you'll find I already have"

"Aaron!" Jackson exclaims "We're over, you can't just move back in whenever you feel like it?"

"Why not?" Aaron demands to know, pushing himself of the counter and standing in front of Jackson. Jackson's an inch or two taller than him but they're glaring at each other, neither one willing to be the first to back down.

"Cause you left"

"You wanted me to" Aaron counters "I was just doing what you asked me to do"

"Well, do it again. Quickly"

Aaron's shaking his head "Can't. You see, I'm paying the mortgage here just like you, so I think I'll stay, thanks anyway"

"Aaron!" Jackson says again, frustrated "You can't move back in"

"Why not? Will your new boyfriend not like it?"

That comment makes everything click into place for Jackson, he now sees why Aaron has moved back in "I'm still gonna see him"

Aaron shrugs "You can see who you want" he informs him through clenched teeth "like I care" he adds with a shrug, trying to appear nonchalant.

"Sure you don't" Jackson shakes his head "You moving back in isn't going to change anything you know"

Again Aaron shrugs "Told you, I moved back in because this is my place too. You move out" Aaron could have bit his tongue off for suggesting that. What happened if he decided to? That wasn't what Aaron wanted

"Yeah, right" Jackson scoffs "Not gonna happen"

"Well…" Aaron starts "I'm going nowhere, now if you'll excuse me I have to unpack" with that said Aaron turns on his heel and heads up the stairs.

"Hey!" Jackson says running out of the kitchen door to follow him "you better stay away from my room"

"_Our_ room you mean" Aaron threw over his shoulder while smirking to himself. Jackson was marching up the stairs behind Aaron, ranting about him staying away from what was once their room.

Aaron stops in the hall in between the two rooms "Don't worry, I'm not gonna sleep in there" he says "I'm in there" he points at the spare room before adding "for now anyway"

Jackson lifts his eyebrows and gives him a look "Yeah" he says "Till you move out cause you're not getting back into my bed"

Aaron takes a step into his bedroom and turns around "We'll see" he smirks before closing the door in Jackson's face.

Jackson stands on the landing, staring at the now closed door. He can't believe him, what was he playing at? Did he really think moving back in would fix them, just like that? He was even more mental than Jackson thought.

Aaron moving back in wasn't going to change anything and he was still going on his date with Ross, he didn't care what Aaron thought about it.

Scarlett came home around 1pm and immediately noticed Chuck "Hey boy!" she exclaimed happily as she petted him "What you doing here?" she asked just as Jackson walked down the stairs

"How come we've got him?" she asks, her eyebrows pulling together but before she can answer Aaron runs down the stairs behind Jackson

"Alright?" he asks as he passes. Scarlett looks between "Oh, I see" she smiles tightly "You two…"

"NO!" Jackson says quickly "We are not back together"

Aaron stops walking at the tone of Jackson's voice "Don't say it like that" Aaron snaps glaring at his ex.

Jackson scoffs "I'll do whatever the hell I want, thanks very much"

Before they could get into an argument Scarlett cuts in "So why are you here then?" she asks looking at Aaron "No offence or anything"

Aaron looks Jackson up and down, giving him somewhat of a dirty look before turning his attention back to Scarlett "My place as much as it is his, I'm moving back in" with that he walks into the kitchen and slams the door.

Scarlett's eyes are wide and she looks at Jackson "He's moved back in?"

Jackson nods

"For good?"

Again Jackson nods then shrugs "Well until he realises that I'm not taking him back"

Scarlett laughs and gives Jackson a look "I won't!" he says knowing what that look means

"I'm sure" she says, shaking her head and walking up the stairs "I won't!" he calls again and she replies with a "Yeah, yeah!"

Its 5.30 Aaron and Scarlett are in the living room when the door knocks. Scarlett looks at Aaron, it's Jackson's date, she hopes he keeps it cool. Aaron doesn't even let on he's heard the door bell, his eyes stay focused on the TV screen in front of him.

"Hey" he hears Jackson say "Just let me grab my Jacket, go through if you want"

Aaron closes his eyes, he hates that man. No really he does. He's trying to wind him up and he really shouldn't do that.

Ross walks into the living room and Scarlett stands up "Hi" she smiles at him "I'm Scarlett"

"Ross" he says smiling at her and his eyes flick to Aaron "Nice to meet you" he says to Scarlett then to Aaron.

Aaron looks him up and down and scoffs "Not interested"

Scarlett can't help but feel a little sorry for Aaron. Sure he had brought this all on himself but he loves Jackson. A blind person could tell how much Aaron loved Jackson and having to sit and watch him go out with someone else was probably killing him.

Ross knew where he wasn't wanted and walked back out into the hall to wait on Jackson.

Scarlett looked at Aaron "Why you putting yourself through this?" she asked him softly.

Aaron shook his head "Becau…"

He was interrupted by Jackson "I'm off, don't wait up" then the front door was closed.

Aaron closed his eyes once more and swallowed the lump in his throat "Because I caused this, didn't i?" he asks her and she shrugs before sitting down beside him.

"He loves you" she tells him

Aaron shrugs "Doesn't look like it, does it? He's out with someone else"

"Trying to convince himself he's over you. He isn't"

Aaron sits forward and shrugs "Whatever. I can handle it"

"And if he brings him home tonight, will you handle that?"

Aaron swallows. He hadn't thought of that. But he wouldn't, he'd barely been seeing him a week, that's all it could be and Jackson wouldn't sleep with him after such a short time, not even to get back at him. Would he?

Aaron stood up, he didn't want to think anymore, he wanted to drink.

"I'm going to the pub"

* * *

A/N - AS ALWAYS REVIEWS ARE WELCOME, WANTED AND APPRECIATED!


	6. BE6

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_

* * *

_

_If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, _  
_I'll sail the world to find you _  
_If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see, _  
_I'll be the light to guide you

* * *

_

Monday afternoon and Aaron was on his way back to the house for his lunch. This was the part of living there he missed the most, apart from Jackson of course. Was going home to relax on his breaks, it was great.

Walking into the kitchen he found Chuck lying in his favourite place, he didn't even bother getting up when Aaron came in.

Aaron rolled his eyes "Just you sit there" he tells the dog "see if I feed you" he tells him as he opens the fridge to feed himself.

Jackson was in, he knew that Jackson was in because his van hadn't moved all day and the fact that he was between jobs. Since Aaron had moved back into the house two days ago, they hadn't said a lot to each other.

Saturday night had been tense and awkward. Jackson had gone out on a date and Aaron ended up in the pub, drowning his sorrows. No one dared come near him that night and he was glad. When he'd stumbled home at just before midnight Jackson still wasn't home and no matter how hard he tried to tell himself not to Aaron stayed up until he came home.

Luckily for him he didn't have to wait too long because twenty minutes later a car pulled up outside and the door opened. Aaron strained to listen, listening for more than one set of footsteps but he didn't find any, he could only hear Jackson. Thankful for that Aaron rolled over onto his stomach and forced himself to sleep.

Sunday wasn't much better but as the day progressed it got a little better. They relaxed in each other's company and thankfully no date turned up and Aaron was happy and for the first time in weeks he spent a whole day in Jackson's company and they didn't argue once. It felt good, like old times.

Aaron was now in his kitchen making himself a quick sandwich before he flopped down in front of the TV for half an hour. But his hopes were dashed when the kitchen door opened and the last person on earth he wanted to see came walking through. Ross.

Aaron scowled. What the hell was he doing there? Aaron didn't know, he wanted to know but he wasn't about to ask.

Chuck let out a soft growl and Aaron smirked, the dog obviously took after him and didn't like this guy "Good boy" Aaron said to him as he threw him a piece of meat.

"Alright?" Ross says looking at Aaron but Aaron ignores him and continues making his sandwich "I think we should try to get along" Ross adds but Aaron is still intent on ignoring him.

"For Jackson's sake"

Those three words riled Aaron, a lot and he turned on him "For Jackson's sake?" Aaron demands "You don't even know him, so don't go giving me crap about for Jackson's sake"

"We're dating"

Aaron scoffs "He's using you" he informs Ross "That's all to wind me up"

Ross shakes his head "Don't think he is mate"

Aaron takes a threatening step towards Ross and to his surprise the guy doesn't back away, he's got guts because with his work overalls on and the look on his face, he looked intimidating, to say the least.

"I'm not your mate" Aaron barks at him "Never will be, now how about you shut your face before I shut it for you?"

Ross smirks "Jackson said you were a nutter"

Aaron's fast losing his patience with this idiot. Who did he think he was? Trying to tell _him_ what Jackson would want? Aaron knew Jackson better than this Muppet ever would.

He wanted to hit him, he really did and there was nothing to stop him. The only thing that was stopping him from decking the dude was Jackson. They were in this mess because Aaron had decked someone and Aaron didn't want to listen to the lecture he would get off of Jackson if he hit him. Instead he took a step back and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

But Ross had one of those faces. You know the ones that asked to be hit? But Aaron had a feeling that's what the guy wanted so he did the second best thing. He used what he had available to him to terrify the guy.

"Chuck" he called out and Chuck was at his side in a flash. Aaron smirked at the guy

"Keep him!" Aaron barked in loud, demanding tone.

Chuck tensed as he went into guard dog mode. He was a happy go lucky dog who didn't have a care in the world but he was also trained as a guard dog, Aaron had made sure of that. Ross wouldn't be going anywhere while Chuck was set on him.

Aaron took step back and smirked "Get out of that one then" with that said he turns around, grabs his sandwich and leaves the kitchen through the back door, without calling Chuck off.

Ross' eyes widened as Aaron walked out of the room, he was nervous. He didn't mind dogs, in fact he quite liked them but this one looked like it wanted to eat him

"Nice dog" he said in a nervous tone, he tried to make for the door but Chuck was standing between him and both doors, he was screwed. With every little step that he took Chuck growled and showed his teeth a little more. Ross had to face facts. He was terrified and not getting out of this situation without help.

Aaron walked out of the house and back to the garage laughing to himself "What you done?" Ryan asks suspiciously

Aaron grinned "Nowt" he shrugs "What makes you think I've done anything?"

Ryan gives him a look "Cause you've got that look"

Aaron shrugs again and rests against a car while he eats his sandwich "thought you were having your lunch break?" Ryan asks

"I'm having it here" Aaron informs him while struggling to keep the grin off his face

"No, seriously. What did you do?"

Aaron dips his head and laughs "You'll find out sooner or later" he assures him because he knows the only way Ross is going to get Chuck to back off is by calling Jackson then sure enough Jackson will come out with Chuck to bitch at him about it.

Back inside the house, Chuck wasn't for moving, he was snarling but he wasn't attacking. He hadn't been told to attack so he wouldn't but Ross didn't know that and the way Chuck continued to snarl and growl was freaking him right out. Deciding that there was nothing else to do apart from call Jackson that's exactly what he did.

Jackson heard Ross call his name and came down the stairs, he sounded terrified. Pushing open the kitchen door Jackson's eyes widened. He couldn't believe what he was seeing

"Chuck" Jackson exclaimed but Chuck didn't budge. Jackson walked further into the kitchen "Chuck. Down" he commanded and after one last snap and growl Chuck backed down and went back to lying in his favourite position under the radiator.

Jackson looks at Ross shaking his head. It's not like his dog to react like that "Did you do something to him?"

Ross scoffs "No, it was that nutter" he says gesturing to the back door. Jackson looks at it and realises what Ross means immediately "He set him on you?"

Ross nods and Jackson shakes his head "I'm gonna head" Ross says and again Jackson nods "Ok"

Jackson is still in the kitchen when he hears Ross' car pull away from outside of the house. He's pissed and he has to say something.

"Chuck, come on!" Jackson calls on the dog as he barges out of the back door and heads towards the garage.

* * *

Ryan notices Jackson first "Think I'm about to find out" he says to Aaron, who whips his head around and can't help but grin

"Hey boy!" he says to the dog as he slips off the bonnet of the car and walks a few feet away from the garage and closer to Jackson

"What do you want?" he barks at Jackson, trying to sound normal.

Jackson's eyes widen and he shakes his head, laughing a little "I think you know what I want?"

Aaron shrugs "I have no idea, but if you want to watch me work. I know you enjoy that come back in half an hour, I'm on my break"

Jackson's mouth drops open in shock. Did he really just say that? Shrugging it off Jackson decided to stay on topic.

"How many times have I told you not to use him as weapon"

Aaron rolls his eyes "he didn't do anything"

"He could have!" Jackson exclaimed but Aaron was shaking his head "Telling me you don't trust _our _dog" he says emphasising _our._

"You're not going to make him another Clyde!" Jackson barks and his eyes widen and if he could take them back, his words, he would because the look on Aaron's face almost kills him.

Aaron's face drops and he goes almost completely white, he looks sick. His eyes widen and he stares at Jackson "What did you just say?" he says through clenched teeth

"Forget it" Jackson says quickly. Clyde was still a sore point. Clyde dying stirred up a lot of memories for them, memories they didn't want to attack, now or ever.

"Don't bring Clyde into this" Aaron says to him.

"I didn't mean it, sorry" and for a second Jackson wonders just how this turned around and he's now the one apologising when Aaron was in the wrong.

Aaron shakes his head and barges towards the house calling "I'll be back later" to Ryan as he stormed off.

Jackson and Ryan shared a small smile before Jackson turned and followed Aaron into the house, Chuck following them.

Once inside Chuck went straight back to his favourite place and Aaron stood against the kitchen counter, glaring at Jackson.

"If that idiot gets in my face again, he'll do more than growl at him and he doesn't, I certainly will"

"Get in your face?" Jackson asks "What did he do? Look at you?"

Aaron rolls his eyes. Even now, after all these years he's sure Jackson thinks he just flies off the handle over nothing. "Tried to tell me about you, like I need him to tell me _anything_ about you"

Jackson's eyebrows pulled together. What could Ross have possibly said about him to Aaron? He could and would never know anything about him that Aaron didn't know.

"Make sure he doesn't do it again Jackson" Aaron says pushing himself off the counter and stepping closer to the builder "because, I'm struggling to take this well as it is. He doesn't want to push me"

Jackson is about to answer him when the front door is opened "Jackson, you here?" It's Adam "In the kitchen" Jackson informs him and a few seconds later he appears.

"Hey" he says to them "Did I interrupt something?"

"No" Jackson assures him quickly

"What can I do for ya?"

Aaron frowns and says "What could you be interrupting, he's just a dick" Jackson doesn't even look at him, Aaron wants an argument but Jackson isn't going to give into him.

"Well…I wanted the both of you really. Are you two still coming the bonfire?"

Aaron nods "Every year, I'm there"

Adam looks at Jackson "What about you?"

Jackson nods "Yeah…I'll be there"

"Great" Adam grins "You can bring…" he steals a quick look at Aaron who isn't best pleased with what his best mate is about to say "whoever you want, more the merrier"

Jackson nods and smiles gratefully; he and Adam had become quite good friends in their own right.

"I better get going" Adam says, wanting out and away before Aaron could say anything to him.

"I'll come with you" Aaron says and Adam knows he's not getting away with it.

Once they are a good few feet from the house Adam says "Let me have it then"

Aaron doesn't hold back "What the hell are you playing at? Telling him he could bring who he wants"

"So can you" Adam adds

Aaron scowls "Yeah, like that's gonna happen. What the hell was that?"

Adam sighs "You're both my mates Aaron; I'm not going to take sides. Jackson wants to bring a date he can"

"Great. Some mate you are"

They're halfway towards the pub when Aaron storms away from him and back towards the garage. Adam lets him go, its no use trying to talk to him when he's in a mood. He's been in a permanent one since Jackson left him and Adam only hoped they got back together soon or Aaron moved on.

* * *

A/N - REVIEWS AS ALWAYS, ARE WELCOME, WANTED & APPRECIATED!


	7. BE7

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - This whole chapter was inspired by a little comment by someone on the DS forum!_

_

* * *

_

_I'd go hungry i'd go black and blue_

_I'd go crawling down the avenue_

_No there's nothing that i wouldn't do_

_To make you feel my love

* * *

_

It was Friday and it was the day of the annual bonfire held at Butler's farm by the Barton's. Aaron and Jackson had been going for the last few years, always together, however there was a first time for everything and this year was a first for them. They weren't going as a couple.

Aaron was sulking. Adam had invited Jackson and his "date" Aaron wasn't going to call him his boyfriend because to do that would be admitting that he and Jackson were over for good and Aaron wasn't about to do that. Jackson had tried to walk away from Aaron many times over the years but Aaron always managed to get him to see sense and take him back, only this time it was taking longer than usual.

Aaron wasn't known for his patience and he lost his temper quickly but not with Jackson. With Jackson Aaron was patient and Jackson was one of the only people that could get him to walk away from a situation just by talking to him. Well, the talking usually consisted of Jackson telling Aaron if he did it that he would leave and not wanting to lose him Aaron always backed down, well, almost always.

It was just before seven and it was already dark out. Aaron was waiting. He was waiting on Jackson. He wanted to see if he was going to the bonfire alone or with someone because if he was going with someone, Aaron wasn't going.

Jackson's van pulled up outside and he hopped out alone. Aaron was glad. Running into the house he almost collided with Aaron who was standing behind the front door

"Oh!" Jackson exclaimed surprised "Why the hell are you standing behind the door?"

Aaron frowned "Uh…I'm going up to Butler's remember? You're meant to be going too"

Jackson nods "I am" he tells him "But as you can see, I'm filthy"

Aaron's eyes scan his clothes and his body, Aaron quite likes it when Jackson is filthy. Jackson watches as Aaron takes in the sight of him and licks his lips, he can't help but smile. The mechanic still so obviously wants him, but did Jackson want him? That was a question Jackson promised never to ask himself again because he was scared of the answer.

"So…?"

"So…I'm gonna shower. I'll be up there later"

Aaron shakes his head, he's not going to go without him "Hurry up, I'll wait"

"You're not driving are you?" Jackson asks, what's the point in driving up there when he's only going to get drunk and end up leaving the car there?

"No. I'm walking and you will be too, hurry up"

Jackson looks at Aaron for a moment. He should really tell him to go on without him but he can't bring himself too. He wants to spend time with him, he misses spending time with him.

"Alright, ten minutes"

Aaron scoffs just as Jackson has placed his foot on the bottom step "What?"

Aaron gives him a look "It's you…if it was me it would be ten, you'll be at least 20" he informs him. He knows Jackson better than Jackson knows himself.

Jackson smiles and nods his head a little "Probably"

Half an hour later Aaron hears Jackson footsteps coming down the stairs and he meets him at the bottom. Looking at his watch he says "Ten minutes, huh?"

Jackson shrugs as he picks up his keys from the table in the hallway "some of us like to look good"

Aaron opens the door while rolling his eyes "Yeah…whatver"

Jackson smirks and follows Aaron out. Aaron is about to close the door when Jackson stops him "Hold on" he says reaching for the door

"What?" Aaron asks, confused

"Aren't we forgetting something?"

"What?" Aaron asks and it takes a few minutes before he realises what's missing "Oh!"

Jackson pulls a face and pushes the door back open "Chuck" Chuck comes running from the living room and Jackson grabs his lead.

"Idiot" he mutters to Aaron as he attaches the lead.

Aaron scowls "You nearly forgot him too"

Jackson ignores his last statement and heads up the road. They should leave him at home really, they'll be a lot of people, plus a bonfire and fireworks but Chuck is very well behaved and he loves being around people. He's like Jackson in that respect where as Aaron would happily sit on his own, Jackson prefers company. Chuck had gone with them since they got him and he usually ends up lying on the Barton's sofa half the night, on one minds.

They walk up to the farm in silence. Both lost in their own thoughts until Aaron breaks the silence.

"You uh…" he stops trying to sound casual "You going to this thing alone?"

"I'm going with you" Jackson says although, he knows what Aaron means and Aaron sighs

"No, no. Just me" Jackson adds

"Why?"

Jackson shrugs "Truth? It's your best mate's party and I didn't want you to be uncomfortable" he tells him but it's not the whole truth.

A small smile pulls at Aaron's lips "thanks"

"Don't mention it" Jackson assures him.

What Jackson doesn't tell Aaron and he doesn't planning on revealing too soon either is that he and Ross are over. After Aaron's little stunt with Chuck on Monday Ross had told him he didn't think it was a good idea because Aaron was crazy and clearly not over him.

Jackson should have been bothered by it. It should have pissed him off that Aaron had chased away someone he was dating, well, using to get over him but it didn't bother him. In fact quite the opposite, it pleased him.

Jackson is completely aware of the fact he's in love with Aaron. He can't change it and he doesn't want to separate, not really but he doesn't want their relationship to be the same as it always has been. On and off, they're too old for that, surely?

He's still fully aware that he is the only man Aaron has ever had sex with and sometimes he feels bad. Should they have gotten so serious? Should he have walked away before they fell in love? He knew he could sit and think what if's all day but nothing could change the fact that he was the only guy Aaron had slept with and that as far as Aaron was concerned, Jackson was the only guy he ever wanted to sleep with.

When they arrived at Butler's they separated. Aaron headed inside to find Adam and Jackson hung around outside chatting to whoever was around with Chuck.

For once Aaron was glad to get some space, not a lot but some space from Jackson. The walk up to Butlers confused him somewhat. It felt normal, they felt normal but they were far from it.

"I need a drink" Aaron says as soon as he spots Adam. Adam hands him one "Jackson bring someone?"

Aaron shakes his head "No"

Adam's confused, what was wrong with his mate then? "what's up?"

Aaron shakes his head and down's half of the bottle just handed to him by Adam "Nowt. I'm fine" he tells him but both of them know it's a lie but Adam knowing Aaron was well as he did, he didn't push it.

It was just over an hour before Aaron finally set eyes on Jackson again and he was glad. He missed him but just as he was about to go to him, Debbie bet him to it and he changed his mind. He'd get him later.

"Hey!" Debbie says walking towards Jackson pulling her coat around her tighter, it was cold "Aren't you freezing?" she asks, as she looks at what he's wearing which isn't a lot. Jeans, boots and a top, which didn't look that warm.

Jackson shrugs "I'm alright" he assures her "Didn't think you were gonna turn up"

Debbie shrugs and looks around, taking in who was there "Nowt better to do really" she bumps her shoulder into his "thought I'd come meet this new guy I've heard about but never seen"

"Ahh!" Jackson says with a smile "Out of luck I'm afraid"

"He gone already?"

Jackson shakes his head "Was never here" he tells her "and I'm not seeing him anymore"

"Cause of him?" Debbie asks, nodding in Aaron's direction. He's her cousin and everything but he can be a right pain.

Jackson laughs "Yeah. Cause of him"

"What'd he do?"

"Set Chuck on him" he says simply and despite her best efforts not to, she laughs "he set the dog on him?"

Jackson laughs with her, it was kind of funny in retrospect "yeah. Jealousy and Aaron don't go well"

"I've noticed" Debbie eyes her friend and gives him a look "have you told him yet?"

Jackson's head snaps up and he locks eyes with her "told him what?" he asks

She gives him a knowing smile "That you're taking him back"

Jackson tries to look shocked but he can't and eventually he dips his head and laughs "What makes you say that?" he decides to ask. He hasn't been that obvious, has he? He only really decided himself that he was going to take him back while on his lunch break.

"Well…you won't stop staring at him" Debbie tells him "So?"

"Well you've got that look"

"What look?" Jackson needs to know, he doesn't want it to be that obvious because he still plans on making Aaron sweat before he finally gives in.

"The "I'm so in love look" she scoffs "It's sickening" she informs him "especially when it's do with him!"

"Hey!" Jackson interrupts her "Don't talk about him like that"

Debbie grins and nudges him "You wouldn't have said that on Monday" she smiles before backing off "I'll leave you to it, I need a drink"

Just as Debbie walks away he hears Aaron's voice from behind him "Was it something I said?"

Jackson turns around to face him "Probably, you have that affect on people"

Aaron rolls his eyes "Where's Chuck?"

Jackson looks around before shrugging his shoulders casually "I'm sure he's around here somewhere"

"You don't know where he is?"

Jackson shakes his head

"You'd bitch at me for hours if I said that" Aaron reminds him "No I wouldn't" Jackson says defending himself which earns him a look from Aaron that his him rolling his eyes and saying "That's cause…I'm the mature one and you'd end up getting him lost for good"

"Like you know where he is" Aaron scoffs

"I do" Jackson says confidently, his eyes still scanning around him, trying to find him "I'm just not telling you" he finally adds in a childish tone.

"Yeah, very mature" Aaron scoffs.

* * *

They were stood side by side, joined by their friends as they watched the bonfire and firework display

"Chuck's in the house boys, incase you were wondering" Mhoira says to them as she passes

"Thanks" Aaron calls out to her as she walks on and nudges Jackson's arm "See; now we know where he is"

"I always knew where he was" Jackson answers in the sarcastic, over confident tone of his, the one Aaron pretends to hate but really he loves.

"I knew I should have brought my Jacket" Jackson says as firework blasts up into the air. It's just before nine and the winter has well and truly started to creep in, well it is November.

Aaron looks at Jackson. His hands are stuck into his jean pockets and his shoulders are hunched as he tries to keep himself warm. Aaron smiles, he looks good but then Jackson always looks good.

"Well after half an hour of getting ready you think you would remember to bring one"

Jackson scowls at him and says "Shut up"

"We could always share body heat?" Aaron offers "I hear that works well"

Jackson rolls his neck dramatically so he's facing Aaron. His eyebrows raised and a smile tugging at his lips "I don't think so" he says and Aaron grins "Why not?"

Jackson makes a show of eyeing him up and down "There's not much of you"

"Yeah…says the skinny runt"

"All muscle baby" Jackson assures him "I have a man's job, unlike some people"

"Oi!" Aaron says pushing him, Jackson stumbles a few steps. It earns them a couple of worried glances but neither of them pays attention. They're too busy focusing on each other.

"I have man's job"

Jackson doesn't say anything, just nods in Debbie's direction, Aaron looks at what he's nodding at and scoffs "She's like your Mother" he says "should have been born a bloke"

Jackson grins "Gonna say that to her?"

Aaron's eyes widen ever so slightly "Maybe another time"

Jackson nudges him playfully "thought as much"

"Shut it you"

"Make me" Jackson challenges and Aaron lifts his eyebrows "I would but it could be classed as sexual assault"

Jackson is just about to reply when Aaron starts pulling off his hoody "stripping now? You're gonna scare a lot of people, no one should see that"

Aaron ignores his comment and hands him his hoody, Jackson looks at the offered hoody then back to Aaron "what's this?"

"For you, to wear, it keeps you warm"

Jackson's eyebrows pull together "I can't take your hoody"

"I'm telling you too, before you freeze to death, put it on"

Jackson's eyebrows pull together "what are you going to wear?"

"My Jacket is inside; I'll wear that" Aaron tells him "take the hoody Jackson"

A smile tugging at his lips at Aaron's gesture he takes the hoody and pulls it on "Cheers"

"Not a problem" Aaron assures him "Just gonna grab my Jacket" Aaron tells him before running towards the house.

Once he's gone Jackson pulls the hoody properly into place and stuffs his hands into the pockets at the front. It smells like Aaron, he loves the way Aaron smells. He's missed wakening up to the smell of him every morning, he's missed wakening up to a warm body against him every morning, and he just missed Aaron.

A few minutes later Aaron comes back wearing a zip up Jacket. Jackson's mouth turns up the corners, he doesn't like that particular Jacket and hadn't actually noticed that Aaron had been wearing it earlier or he would have commented.

"What?" Aaron snaps when he notices Jackson's eyes lingering on him for a just a second longer than he would have liked

"I hate that thing"

Aaron laughs "Don't hear you complaining about the one you've got on"

Jackson shrugs "This is one of the few things you own that I don't actually mind"

"Oh, good" Aaron replies sarcastically "Pratt"

Jackson grins but doesn't say anything and Aaron shakes his head before staring at the bonfire once again. They're flirting. Jackson isn't hiding the fact he's flirting with him and Aaron is beyond confused. What did it mean?

It was just before ten when Victoria approached them "Hey guys" she says jumping in-between them and wrapping her arms around both their shoulders "What we upto?"

Jackson moves her arm from around his neck but Aaron leaves it and looks at her "What do you want Vic?"

"Why don't we go out? This is getting boring!"

"Where?"

Victoria thinks about it for a minute before saying "A gay bar, I haven't been with you two to a Gay bar in ages!"

Jackson scoffs "You remember what happened last time we all headed to that place?" he asks her while glancing at Aaron.

"Oh, come on!" Aaron says to him "Let's go?"

Jackson shakes his head "I'm not going, you go though"

"You're going" Aaron states causing Jackson's eyes to widen "I just said…!"

"I don't care…" Aaron tells him before trailing off and calling Adam over. Adam was up for going out, as were a few other people. Debbie included and she had helped Aaron convince Jackson to tag along.

"It won't be like last time" Aaron promises him "Trust me?"

Jackson stares at him. He wants to trust him but what happens if someone does something he doesn't like? Will Aaron resort to being Aaron and lash out? If that happened Jackson wouldn't take him back and right now, he was on the verge of it. Deciding to trust him Jackson agrees.

"Fine" he agrees, reluctantly "I'll come"

"Great" Aaron says grinning at him like an idiot

"Should I call a taxi?" Adam yells from across the yard but Jackson shakes his head "We'll need to take Chuck back or one of us will…" he looks at Aaron

"I'll come with you" Aaron says, not gonna let him walk Chuck all the way back to the village on his own but before Jackson can reply to that Scarlett butts in "I'll take him, I'm not going into town, so I'll take him back if you want"

"Are you sure?" Jackson asks and Scarlett nods "Ok Adam, call the Taxi"

* * *

A/N - As always, reviews are wanted and appreciated!


	8. BE8

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - ENJOY! :)_

_

* * *

_

_If I ever write the story of my life_  
_Don't be surprised if you're where it begins_  
_Girl, I'd have to dedicate every line on every page_  
_To the memories we made, while you loved me_

_I was born the day you kissed me_  
_And I died inside the night you left me_  
_But I lived, oh how I lived_  
_(I lived)While you loved me_

_I'd start with chapter one, love innocent and young_  
_As a morning sun on a new day_  
_Even though I know the end, Well I'd do it all again_  
_'Cause I got a lifetime in while you loved me_

_

* * *

_

They had been in Bar West for just over an hour. It was hard to believe that the Bar they had first met in was still open and that they still came to it as often as they could, most of the time with their friends. It's where they went, other than the Woolpack of course.

Jackson was sat at the table with the half empty drinks. Adam and Victoria were on the dance floor, Debbie was at the toilet and he had no idea where Aaron was, even although he was searching for him. Aaron was well on his way to being plastered. In the short time they had been there he'd had three bottles and two shots. Jackson had told him to slow down and he seemed to have listened but after that he had disappeared.

"Told him yet?" Debbie's voice pulled him out of his day dream and he grinned "Shouldn't you be off finding yourself a man?" he asked

Debbie laughed "In here?"

"Or a woman" Jackson adds "Whatever your into today"

Debbie pulls a face "Yeah, yeah" she rolls her eyes "Where is happiness?"

"Haven't seen him in about ten minutes" Jackson shrugs before taking a drink of his beer. Debbie's lips form a thin line and she nods

"Are you sure about this?"

"About Aaron?" he asks, checking to see if he's right or not and Debbie nods

"As sure as I was when I was 21" he informs her but after a second he shakes his head and says "scrap that, I wasn't that sure about him at 21, he had just decked me but I'm sure" he reassures her "He's not about to let me go easily anyway, I've realised that"

"Maybe that's cause he knows no matter how many times he screws up you'll still take him back"

Jackson frowns "He didn't really screw up this time though did he?"

"He punched your mate" Debbie states

"I know but…he did that cause he was jealous" Jackson reasons "thought I was cheating on him"

Debbie is quick to shake her head "He didn't do it because he thought you would cheat. He knows you wouldn't. He did it because he was jealous"

"I did over react" Jackson admits "Ben, didn't even press charges"

"Because of you" Debbie reminds him

"I know" Jackson says "but I kicked him out. You should have seen his face that night. I've only seen him that devastated twice before" he admits with a small smile.

Debbie sits back and listens, her eyes scanning the room for him. She loves Jackson, they hit if off when she came back from Jersey, she also kinda loves Aaron but she doesn't think he's good enough for Jackson. Debbie knows what it's like to love someone though and she knows they love each other so she'll be a supportive friend and cousin.

She finally finds Aaron. He's at the far end of the bar and he's not alone. There's a black guy, a good looking black guy standing close to him. She can't help but wonder why the guy is that close to him. Aaron never usually lets a guy that close to him if he's not Jackson or Adam. He's never interested when other guys hit on him. Debbie knows this and she knows it's because he only wants Jackson.

"Well maybe you should tell him quick" Debbie advises Jackson and Jackson's eyebrows pull together "What do you mean?"

Debbie gestures towards the end of the bar "Looks like he's trying to move on, just like you did"

Jackson follows her line of sight and his eyes widen. Aaron is being hit on and Aaron is letting it happen. That isn't good. Aaron never lets himself be hit on. He hates attention.

"Guess he's following your example" Debbie tells him with a smirk. She's never really seen Jackson's reaction to someone hitting on Aaron because Aaron usually gave off the _"don't come anywhere near me" _vibe and Jackson was the one that usually got hit on, resulting in a very jealous Aaron. This was a new situation for her, one she found herself enjoying.

Jackson's head moved up and down ever so slowly and Debbie had no idea why, she was amused.

"If he wants to move on, he can. I won't stop him" Jackson tells her before focusing or at least trying to focus his attention back on her. It doesn't work out all that well because he finds himself being pulled back to looking at Aaron and the guy that was hitting on him.

Aaron was at the bar waiting on the drinks he had just ordered for himself and Jackson when suddenly he felt a hand on his back and someone slide in the side of him. At first the though it may have been Jackson or Adam until he turned around. It wasn't either of them.

It was a black guy, he was good looking Aaron noticed, not at all camp and he was talking to Aaron. At first Aaron ignored him like he usually did until he realised that he had no real reason to. He was single and Jackson had clearly moved on, why shouldn't he?

"Sorry. I didn't hear what you said" he says leaning closer to hear the guy over the music "I'm Aaron by the way" he adds on

"Bobby" he tells Aaron.

They start chatting about insignificant and random things while Aaron's waiting on his drinks. It's taking longer than usual but its Friday night and it's packed. He's Ok with waiting, plus he has someone to keep him company, even if its not the person he wants to be keeping him company.

Debbie can see just from looking at Jackson, who has become oddly silent ever since she pointed out Aaron that the thought of Aaron with someone else was physically killing him. The glint that had been in his eyes moments before had gone and he was staring at his near empty glass.

She knew Aaron still wanted Jackson and that the guy he was talking to was probably harmless but Jackson was too busy thinking he had pushed Aaron into moving on by dating someone else.

"Think I'm going to find Victoria and Adam" Jackson says as he abruptly stands from his seat "Coming?" he asks but Debbie declines, she's going to have a word with her cousin before he ruins what chance he has of getting Jackson back.

* * *

Once Jackson is swallowed by the crowd on the dance floor and she can no longer see him Debbie slips from her bar stool and heads towards the bar.

Aaron and the guy whose name she doesn't know are standing really close, so close in fact that there is barely any space between them but that doesn't stop Debbie pushing her way between them and facing Aaron.

"Do you mind?" Aaron asks gesturing to Bobby behind her "I was talking"

Debbie plasters a fake smile on her face and she turns to face Bobby "Hi" she starts in a sarcastic tone "sorry to interrupt" she gestures to Aaron "but if Aaron here doesn't get his act together he's going to lose the best thing that's ever happened to him" she tells Bobby while glancing at Aaron.

Aaron's mouth forms a thin hard line "Why don't you do one Debbie?" he says through clenched teeth "He moved on. I'm trying to do the same"

Debbie turns her attention to Aaron fully once again, blocking Bobby "He was going to give you another chance Aaron"

Aaron's eyes widen slightly and he looks towards their table, it's empty. He swallows the lump that has quickly formed in throat "Was?"

Debbie nods "Let's just say, seeing you flirt with someone got to him a bit"

"Now he knows how I felt" he scoffs "not a great feeling"

Debbie sighs. Sometimes the two of them are as stubborn as each other.

"You want him back you forget about the guy behind me and you go to him"

"He's not here" Aaron tells her scanning the room once more but coming up empty.

"He's with Victoria and Adam on the dance floor, he couldn't sit at the table and watch you with him" she gestured behind her "We both know you're not really interested in _anyone_ but Jackson"

Aaron looks over Debbie's head to Bobby and smiles "Sorry, but I'm uh...not interested" he says before grabbing up the drinks he had bought for himself and Jackson and heading for their table.

Debbie watches Aaron run off and shakes her head, before turning around and introducing herself to Bobby

"I'm Debbie" she tells him "buy a girl a drink?"

Bobby laughs "You just scared off the guy I was chatting up"

Debbie slid into one of the bar stools by the bar "wouldn't have worked out. One, he's on love with someone else and two he's only into builders, are you a builder?"

Bobby shook his head

"See, never would have worked out" Debbie grins at him "If you buy me a drink I'll make it up to you by helping you find someone else? What do you say?"

Bobby grins and laughs while signalling for the barman to take his order "Alright" he agrees.

Debbie knows that Aaron and Jackson are going to be too busy with each other for a while and Victoria isn't her favourite person, so she'll happily get to know Aaron's friend for a while.

Aaron placed the bottles of beer he had just bought onto the table and took a long drink of his. He had just placed his back down on the table and moved towards the dance floor when Adam appeared "Hey!" Adam stopped in front of him "Where you going?"

Aaron nodded at the dance floor and Adam started laughing "You on the dance floor? Haha! If I wasn't so knackered I'd pay to see that"

Aaron glared at his best friend "I'm going to find Jackson actually, not for a dance. I don't dance"

Adam grinned "He's somewhere in the middle, Victoria's with him"

With a nod to his best friend Aaron carried on towards the dance floor before being swallowed by the masses of people, pushing them out of his way as he tried to find Jackson.

Aaron found him, he was dancing with Victoria. Barging in between them he grabbed Jackson's hand and started pulling him away from the dance floor. "Be right back" Jackson called out to Victoria who laughed before moving off the dance floor and back to their table herself.

Jackson allowed Aaron to pull him off the dance floor and to an empty part of the Bar. Aaron only let go his hand once they were away from the crowds.

"Nice macho display there" Jackson comments with a smirk. Aaron rolls his eyes "I hear you were jealous"

Jackson rolls his eyes "Sometimes that girl needs to mind her own business"

Aaron grins "I think she done us a favour tonight"

"You do?"

Aaron nods "I like it when you're jealous" he tells Jackson to which Jackson scoffs "I wasn't jealous, I'm far better looking…" a sudden kiss stopped Jackson in his tracks, a kiss he didn't try to fight. Aaron's lips closed around his own as his tongue snuck out, silently begging for access which Jackson was more than happy to allow.

Eventually however, as with all good things there has to come an end and Aaron reluctantly pulled away. He was a little scared to look at Jackson for fear of what he mind find. Anger? Hurt? He wasn't sure. Slowly he raised his eyes to Jackson's and was shocked to find he didn't look angry at all.

"Could have just told me to shut up" Jackson says to him

Aaron grins "You know me, not good with words"

Jackson nods in agreement to that. Aaron takes Jackson's hand into his own and entwined their fingers "does this mean you're giving me another chance?"

Jackson stared into his blue eyes, he loved those eyes. Sometimes he couldn't help but think they were out of place on him but he loved them, he loved all of him, even his short temper

"How many second chances have you had?"

Aaron shrugs a childish shrug "Not many and they're all worth it"

Jackson rolls his eyes "Are you sure you wouldn't be with that guy at the bar?"

Aaron frowns "Pretty sure. He's not my type anyway"

Jackson laughs "Type? You have a type?"

Aaron nods and his face becomes serious "I do. Builders with vans" he grins "Sarcastic and highly annoying builders with vans"

Jackson widens his eyes and grins "You're in luck!" he tells Aaron "I know lots of them!"

Aaron shakes his head and smiles "So…me and you?"

Jackson nods "Yeah. Me and you" he says to him "looks like I'm never getting rid of you"

Aaron steps forward, intent on kissing him but Jackson pulls away, he still has things he has to say.

"This is your last chance though Aaron" he tells him seriously "You screw up again I'll go and I swear I won't take you back. I'll move out the village"

Aaron doesn't like the sound of that "I won't" he promises "This time it'll be better than the last" he assures him.

Jackson isn't convinced "We're not jumping right back in to this Aaron"

Aaron's eyebrows pull together. He's confused "what does that mean?"

"It means we're taking this slow. You're not moving back into our bed, yet. We'll take it slowly, deal?"

He doesn't like it. He wants to be back in his bed, he chose that bed and it's a frigging comfortable bed but he agrees. He wants him back and he'll take it anyway he can get it.

"Deal" Aaron agrees and they seal their agreement with a tender kiss "wanna go home?" Aaron asks when they pull apart but Jackson laughs "No Romeo, we'll stay here a while longer"

Aaron grins and Jackson grabs his hand pulling him back to their table, back to their friends' so they can enjoy the rest of their night out.

* * *

A/N - Reviews as always are welcome, wanted and appreciated!


	9. BE9

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Aren't i good to you? 2 Chapters in one day!_

_

* * *

_

_If you think I've second guessed it  
Or for one minute I'd regret it  
This life with you  
No, there's never been a moment  
Not one time I haven't known it  
What I have with you  
You hold my heart  
Deep inside of every single part  
_

_

* * *

_

To say Aaron was frustrated would be an understatement. He and Jackson had been back together for just over two weeks. Things were going well. They hadn't argued and they spent most nights together but when it came time to go to bed, they went to separate rooms.

Aaron hated it. In the two weeks since they had been back together they hadn't had sex. Aaron was frustrated. The lack of sex wasn't through the want of trying. He tried, every god damn day he tried and every day Jackson knocked him back.

Jackson kept telling him he needed to know Aaron wasn't going to screw up. Aaron had promised time after time that he wasn't going to do anything stupid but Jackson was still dragging his feet. Aaron needed advice and there was only one person he would listen to, Paddy.

Not bothering to knock, it was his home and it always would be Aaron walked into Smithy "Paddy?" he called out for the Vet. Rhona had said he was at home when he bumped into her at the shop.

"Hey" Paddy came down the stairs "What you doing here?"

"Do I need a reason?" Aaron asked with a laugh and Paddy shook his head "course not" Paddy tells him while giving him a look.

Aaron rolls his eyes and sighs. Paddy knows him too well. Aaron heads into the kitchen and Paddy follows.

"You and Jackson haven't split up again have you?"

Aaron quickly shakes his head "No course not" he says as he drops into one of the chairs by the table.

Paddy takes a seat across from him "what's wrong then?"

Aaron shrugs. He doesn't actually know. He just knows Jackson's not being Jackson. Especially not with him and it's irritating him.

"We're back together right?" Aaron says and Paddy nods "But I don't think he wants to be really. He keeps pushing me away, telling me that he wants me to be sure. He thinks I'm going to screw it up again. It's like he's scared to let me get close to him again because he doesn't want me to hurt him"

"Can you blame him?" Paddy asks softly

"I never mean to hurt him Paddy!" Aaron exclaims "He's the one person I never mean to hurt, ever. I never want to hurt him. I'd kill anyone that hurt him"

Paddy nods at that "That's his problem Aaron; you know how he feels about that side of you"

"Yeah" Aaron answers "and I know why but I can't change who I am completely and he wouldn't want me to. Not really. I'm getting better. That guy I hit all those weeks ago was the first guy I hit in years"

"Exactly! He probably thought you knew better"

Aaron pulls a face "I'm 25, I'm not a kid"

"You act like one sometimes" Paddy informs him "Maybe I'll just go" he moves to stand up but Paddy's hand on his arm stops him.

"Why did you come here Aaron?"

"I want you to tell me what to do. What do I do Paddy?"

"Jackson needs to know that you've grown up Aaron"

"I have! I've hit one guy in about 2 years!" Aaron states but Paddy shakes his head "Not the hitting people thing. The relationship thing, wanna know what I think?"

"That's why I'm here" Aaron replies sarcastically.

"You remember how he was after the accident…"

"I don't want to talk about that Paddy!" Aaron cut him off quickly. He hated talking about that time. He hated thinking about it. He spent a week hoping Jackson would wake up, hoping he wouldn't die and when he did wake up, he secretly wished he hadn't because it came with more bad news. Bad news that pushed their relationship to its limit on more than one occasion but the accident was also the reason they were still together. It brought them closer, Aaron knew that but still, he didn't like talking about it.

"He pushed you away didn't he?" Paddy talks over him, he's not changing the subject and Aaron nods "Because he felt like you were they're out of guilt right?"

Again Aaron nods "Maybe he needs you to show him that you're with him because you love him and not because you still feel as if you owe him"

"I've told him I love him" Aaron says, a blush creeping over his cheeks. He hates talking about his feeling with anyone other than Jackson.

"Maybe you need to show him"

Aaron scoffs and without thinking it through fully he says "Hardly, he won't even let me touch him" when Aaron realises what he just said his eyes widen and he looks at everything apart from Paddy.

Paddy's eyes widen, in seven years that is the first time Aaron had said anything about his and Jackson's sex life to him.

"Not talking about that. How long have you two been together?"

"Seven years" Aaron says with a shrug, not seeing what that had anything to do with it and Aaron wasn't about to deduct any time spent apart.

"Most people who have been together that long usually take the next step"

"The next step?" Aaron asks, he can be dense sometimes "we've lived together for most of those seven years Paddy"

Paddy shakes his head "Not living together. A commitment"

Aaron's eyes widen and Paddy isn't sure he's ever seen anyone's eyes that wide before. Aaron starts violently shaking his head "I don't think so" he says in a determined voice.

"Why not?"

Aaron's eyebrows pull together and he gives Paddy a look "Cause we're not some freak show" he tells the man he wishes were his Dad.

"Aaron…" Paddy scolds

"And Jackson wouldn't want that either"

Paddy disagrees. Jackson would want that, Jackson's probably thought about it but just never brought it up because he knows what Aaron is like.

"You know he probably has"

"He's never said anything to me"

This time its Paddy's turn to give Aaron a look and Aaron rolls his eyes "We're two men Paddy, they don't get married"

"Aaron. Come on. It would show him you wanted to be with him and probably make his day. What's so scary about it? People get married everyday. People who don't love or want each other. You and Jackson want and love each other"

Aaron runs his hand over his face "That's not me Paddy" he tells him seriously "I can't…"

"Can't what? Marry a man?"

Aaron nods. He's not proud of himself.

"Then maybe Jackson's better off without you"

"You what!" Aaron demands, anger kicking in quickly but it doesn't faze Paddy anymore.

"He deserves someone who isn't ashamed of him or their relationship"

"I'm not ashamed of him or our relationship" Aaron quickly denies because he's not ashamed of him, or them, maybe once a long time ago but not now.

"Then you need to take the next step in your relationship. He's probably thought about it Aaron but would never say anything because he knows how you would react. Do you know how happy it would make him?"

Before Aaron can answer Rhona calls Paddy to the surgery, apologising to him Paddy gets up and leaves Aaron at the kitchen table with his thoughts.

Aaron doesn't know what to do. He'd never really thought about getting married. They were two guys. He'd always scoffed whenever Jackson told him about his friends getting married. How could he do that? Make a spectacle of them? Would it even be a spectacle? Aaron didn't know. He'd never been to a wedding where it was two blokes getting married.

Suddenly the walls of Smithy seemed as if they were caving in on him and he had to get out. He set out of Smithy and ended up heading towards the cricket pavilion. Unseen by him Victoria was following him, he looked upset and she was worried so she'd followed. She had been heading into town but she was more concerned about Aaron than a new pair of jeans.

* * *

Aaron sat down on a chair by the Pavilion, he was alone or so he thought. He couldn't get what Paddy said out of his mind.

"What's wrong with your mug?" he heard Victoria ask as she plopped herself down beside him.

"Are you stalking me?" he asks her and she laughs "Come on, what's up? Jackson dumped you again?"

Aaron groans "Why does everything automatically think that?"

"Cause you screw up a lot?" Victoria offers

Aaron rolls his eyes and ignores her. "Come on…talk to me"

"Paddy thinks me and Jackson should get married"

Victoria's eyes widen and she laughs "and what do you think?" Aaron shrugs "It's not me is it?"

"It's Jackson though"

Aaron sighs "So many people telling me what Jackson would want, like I don't know"

"Are you going to?"

Aaron shrugs once again "I don't want to lose him" he doesn't know why but he talks to Victoria about him and Jackson.

"I'd love it. It would be fun" she nudges his shoulder "You two getting married"

"We're not a freak show!" he states loudly and Victoria pulls her eyebrows together "Never said you were!" she defends herself

"What you going to do?"

Aaron shrugs "He took me back but I feel like he's changed his mind and doesn't know how to tell me"

Victoria nods; they seemed Ok to her every time she had seen them since their night out two weeks ago.

"Maybe you don't have to get married"

Aaron's eyebrows pull together "You what?"

"Well, maybe just asking him and showing that your willing will be enough, I mean, eventually the two of you will have to cause I'll make you but it could be a long engagement"

Aaron nods at that. It sounds like an idea

"But you can't ask him if it isn't what you want" she stands up "I'll leave you too it, I'm going into town"

With that said Victoria walks away leaving Aaron to think about it. If he were to ask Jackson to marry him he knows how happy it would make him. He'd love to make him that happy but could he do it? Could he actually marry him?

If he had to choose between marrying him or losing him Aaron knew what he would chose, every time.

He sat at the pavilion letting his thoughts go around and around in his head. After another ten minutes he's made up his mind but he needs help.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket he quickly dials Victoria's number. Victoria was still at the bus stop. She had been there for nearly half an hour, she had missed the bus, saw it drive away from the bus stop just after she left Aaron and they were every hour or so.

Her mobile rang, it was Aaron

"Hello?" she asked wondering why he was calling her

"Where are you?" Aaron asks in a demanding tone

"At the bus stop" she tells him "Missed my bus"

"Good…" Aaron says but before he can finish Victoria is ranting "Good. I missed it because…"

"Victoria shut up and come back to the pavilion" he cuts her off mid rant

"What why?" she asks, confused

"Just do it, yeah?" he says before ending the call.

* * *

Victoria looks at her phone then at the bus time table, the bus was due in ten minutes. She could just not go to him but he sounded like he really wanted her there but she really wanted to go into town. In the end Aaron won and she ended up back at the pavilion

"You want me to what?"

Aaron shrugged "I don't know what to do" he tells her

"You're gonna ask him to marry you?" she says unable to contain her smile and Aaron nods "And you want me to help you pick out a ring or rings?"

Again Aaron nods

"I'm so there!" she exclaims jumping to her feet "do you know his ring size?"

Aaron's eyebrows pull together, that would be a no Victoria assumes. "Does he wear rings?"

Aaron nods "Sometimes, he has one his Mum gave him"

"Where is it?"

"In the house" Aaron tells her and she's quickly pulling him away from the Pavilion and towards his house.

"I can't believe you're doing this" she exclaims "it's so exciting"

Aaron rolls his eyes "What am I meant to do?" Aaron asks her "Say, Oh Jackson can I have that ring you're Mum gave you and when he asks why am I meant to say no reason?"

"Is he in?" Victoria ask and Aaron nods "He's not working right now"

"Right" Victoria says as she stops walking to think of a plan "We'll go in, you distract him, however you need to. I'll go upstairs, pretend to go to the bathroom and rifle in your bedroom for it?"

"And if he has it on?"

"We'll have to wait until he takes it off"

Aaron didn't want to wait because he had a feeling if he waited he would talk himself out of it. "Come on then" he says as he starts heading to the house once more.

What Aaron didn't know was that Jackson was in the house talking to Debbie.

"So what you going to do?" Debbie asks him

Jackson shrugs "I don't know" he admits "I was thinking about just getting in the van and driving off, not telling him anything"

Debbie shook her head "He'd go through all your friends and when I say go through them. I mean he'd literally go _through_ them"

Jackson nods, he's aware of that "I just don't want to put him in that position"

"He loves you Jackson" Debbie reminds him "He's not going to run"

"I know but I don't want him to feel like he needs to be here"

"He wouldn't leave you"

Jackson takes a deep breath "I don't know what to do for the best"

Debbie is about to reply when the front door burst open and Aaron calls out "Anyone home?"

"Don't say a word to him" Jackson warns her before calling out "In here" to his boyfriend

Aaron and Victoria walk into the living room "What you doing here?" Aaron asks Debbie

"None of your business"

"What are you two up to?" Jackson asks and Victoria answers him "Aaron's going to drive me into town"

Jackson pulls a face "really?" that doesn't sound like his boyfriend

"I made her miss her bus" he explains "least I can do apparently"

Victoria stares at Jackson and he notices "You alright?" he asks her which earns her a nudge from Aaron "Yeah, yeah!" she exclaims "can I use the bathroom?"

Both Aaron and Jackson nod at the same time "he's not wearing it" she whispers, loud enough for only Aaron to hear before disappearing out the room. Now all Aaron has to do it keep Jackson entertained and hope he doesn't hear Victoria snooping about his room.

"You're taking her into town?" Jackson asks once she leaves the room "Yeah. Jealous?" Aaron asks and Jackson laughs "Not really, it's just not you"

Aaron shrugs "Well, nowt else to do. I'm not working and you're busy with your mate here obviously"

Jackson frowns. He hates that he's pushing Aaron away but he doesn't see a way around it. He wants him to be happy.

"Right"

Before anything else can be said Victoria reappears with the ring safely in her pocket "Can we go now?"

Aaron looks at her and she nods answering his unspoken question "Yeah" he looks at Jackson "My keys, have you seen them?"

"Kitchen" he says simply and Aaron walks out of the living room with Victoria.

Once the front door closes and he's sure he's away Jackson turns back to Debbie "I'm hurting him"

Debbie smiles "You have to tell him Jackson. Give him the option, yeah? If you leave without telling him, you'll break his heart and he'll not stop until he finds you"

Jackson knows that Aaron won't stop until he finds him if he leaves "I know" he sighs "I just don't want him to feel forced"

Debbie scoffs "No one can force Aaron into anything"

"I can" Jackson says because he knows it's the truth and Debbie smiles sadly "I've got to pick up Sarah but when he comes back, talk to him"

When Debbie leaves Jackson is left with nothing to distract him from his thoughts and he really doesn't know what to do for the best.

* * *

A/N - REVIEWS AS ALWAYS ARE WELCOME, WANTED AND APPRECIATED!


	10. BE10

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_

* * *

_

_Whoo, I would rather, I would rather go blind, boy  
Then to see you walk away from me, child, no_

_Whoo, so you see, I love you so much_

_That I don't wanna watch you leave me, baby_

_Most of all, I just don't, I just don't wanna be free, no_

_

* * *

_

"Where you taking me?" Aaron moans as Victoria drags him along Hotten High Street

"Uh to a Jewellery shop obviously?" she replies sarcastically as she pulls him. The drive from Emmerdale to Hotten seems to have made Aaron nervous. Victoria's finding it amusing.

They stopped outside one of the many Jewellery stores in Hotten "Now what?"

Victoria rolls her eyes "Now we go in and you pick a ring or two, guys buy two don't they? I think they do"

"Let's just get this over with" Aaron says, shoving his hands into his jean pockets and barging inside the shop as if he really didn't want to be there when Victoria knew different.

Once inside Aaron browses the cabinets, looking un-interested while Victoria heads for the Sales Assistant "Hi" she assistant says in a cheery voice which has Aaron rolling his eyes. She probably works on commission, he thinks, will probably try and sell him the most expensive rings she can.

"Hi" Victoria smiles and pulls Jackson's ring from her back pocket "Can you size this for me?" she hands the ring to the girl and Victoria pulls on Aaron's jacket "and could you see what size he is please?"

"What can I do for you? Engagement rings? Wedding rings"

"Engagement rings" Victoria tells her and the assistant smiles "You make a great couple" she tells them.

Victoria laughs "Well, thanks but we're not a couple. He's gay" Aaron rolls his eyes and groans.

"Oh" the assistant's eyes widen slightly in embarrassment for just assuming they were a couple "I'm sorry"

"You're sorry I'm gay?" Aaron asks and the assistant is shaking her head "No, no, of course not"

"Ignore him!" Victoria states slapping Aaron on the arm "He thinks he's funny"

"Oh you know what?" Aaron says suddenly "this was a bad idea!" he heads for the door and he's managed to get it open before Victoria jumps in front of him "Stop being such a wimp" she tells him "he's nervous" she explains.

The assistant smiles "Well, I'll help you anyway I can" she assures him but Aaron shrugs "Show her, I have no idea what I'm doing here"

"You have to choose the rings"

"No I don't" Aaron argues

"Yes. You do" Victoria states again "I'll help but you make the decision"

Aaron wasn't sure how long they spent in that shop he did know however that by the time they left it, his bank balance had took a serious hit, the sky had darkened and it was raining.

"That was fun!" Victoria exclaimed happily "we should go shopping together more often"

Aaron barked out a sarcastic laugh and snatched the bag with the rings in it off of her "No, we shouldn't and don't you dare tell anyone"

Victoria was a little offended by that "Of course I won't!" she slaps him playfully on the shoulder "I won't say a word, ever" she promises "or least until you finally work up the courage to ask him"

Aaron nods and unlocks the car door "So…when are you going to ask him?" she asks as he starts the engine.

Aaron doesn't know. He was thinking about asking him when he got home but maybe he should think it through first, he's not sure so he shrugs

"God I'm gonna be a wreck until you finally do, wondering how he'll react"

"Thanks for that"

"He'll say yes obviously, he loves you. God knows why though"

The drive back to Emmerdale was a quiet one and when he dropped Victoria off outside the Woolpack on his way home he was impressed that she hadn't even moaned about the fact she didn't get her own shopping done.

* * *

Jackson's van was in their drive so Aaron knew he was home. Snatching the single ring box that held the two rings that cost him a fortune, he hopped out the car and pushed the ring box into his pocket.

When Aaron walked into his the house he was greeted by Chuck "Hey boy!" he petted him. The house was in darkness "Where's Jackson?" he asked the dog but all the dog wanted was Aaron to throw his toy so he could fetch it, Aaron knew that so he threw the toy into the kitchen for him before heading into the living room.

The living room was in darkness but the street light from outside was streaming through the window which was how he noticed Jackson. He was sitting alone, in the darkness. Something wasn't right.

"What you doing sitting in the dark?" Aaron asks as he hits the switch and lights up the living room.

"Just thinking" Jackson answers as his eyes adjust to the sudden light.

Aaron's eyebrows pull together as stares at his boyfriend. Something is wrong with him and Aaron is going to find out what.

"What's wrong with you Jackson?"

Jackson shakes his head "Nothing" it's a lie. Aaron knows it's a lie and he's not about to ignore it. He needs to know, the ring in his pocket tells him he needs to ask because before they can move on, they need to work through whatever is troubling Jackson.

"It's not nothing Jackson, tell me. I'm not letting it slide anymore"

Jackson sits forward and drops his head into his hands "Aaron"

"Don't Aaron me" Aaron states. He pulls a stool from the middle of the floor and puts it in front of Jackson before dropping himself down onto it and reaching for Jackson's hands, pulling them from his face and holding them in his own.

"I'm sorry" Jackson says to him and Aaron shakes his head "For what?"

"For the way I've been since we got back together, I've been pushing you away."

Aaron shakes his head and looks down as he speaks "I get it" he tells him honestly "I screwed up, I don't mind waiting until you trust me again"

Jackson's shaking his head when Aaron looks back up "That's not why I've been pushing you away, I trust you" he admits. He's always trusted him and he always would "and I miss having you in our bed, so bad it I can barely sleep most nights"

"Then what's…" Aaron trails off because he knows he'll understand what he's getting at it.

"The Monday after we got back together, you remember it?" Jackson asks, staring at their still joined hands.

Aaron shakes his head "No" Jackson says "of course you don't. I didn't tell you"

"Tell me what?"

"I had an appointment" Jackson starts, stealing a quick look away from there hands to Aaron's face. He's concerned; he can see the concern in Aaron's eyes. It almost kills him. "at the hospital"

Aaron's eyes widen "Why? What's wrong?" he asks, panicked.

Jackson licks his lips and bites his bottom lip nervously. He doesn't know how to tell Aaron. He knows when Aaron finds out he's going to go off on one.

"I think I should move out. Maybe we should just forget about this" he mumbles as he tries to stand up but Aaron isn't about to let him go anywhere. He pulls back down into the chair "What aren't you telling me?"

"You remember my accident, right?"

Aaron nods. He's never likely to forget that, it was after all his fault.

"You remember how they said I may never walk again and I did?" again Aaron nods "you remember how…you and my mum weren't always around when the Doctors were talking about my condition and what I shouldn't and couldn't do?"

Aaron's eyebrows pull together "One of us was always there" he says but Jackson shakes his head "not when I told them I didn't want you to know anything, they waited until neither of you were there"

Aaron's face hardens, he doesn't like the sound of this "and…?" he presses for more information when it seems like Jackson has just stopped.

"and they told me…"

"They told you what Jackson?" he's getting annoyed at the way Jackson keeps stopping. What isn't he telling him?

"They told me not to build again"

"You've been building again practically ever since you got better"

Jackson nods "yeah"

"They told you not to?" Aaron asks and again Jackson nods "What else did they say?"

"They said I shouldn't because my line of work depends a lot on strength, back strength especially and that my back wasn't that strong"

"So WHY!" Aaron demands, dropping Jackson's hands "Have you been building all this time?"

"Cause I told them to shove it" Jackson informs him "I'm a builder Aaron, I always will be. Nothing, not my back, nothing is going to change that"

Aaron's shaking his head "Did your Mother know about this?" but before Jackson can answer Aaron answers his own question "of course she doesn't! She wouldn't have let you do anything this stupid either"

Jackson rolls his eyes "can I finish my story?"

"There's more?" Aaron barks and Jackson nods "Go on then" Aaron says, shuffling the stool he's sitting on back a little, putting space between the two of them.

"My back's been giving me trouble recently"

"You never said…" Aaron interrupts earning himself a look from Jackson, he pulls a face and Jackson goes back to his story "I made an appointment, just to see. They weren't thrilled when I told them I'd been building for all these years"

"You're a Muppet" Aaron tells him but he's ignored "they told me, if I don't stop my back is going to give in again and this time it's not getting better"

"They told you that two weeks ago?" Jackson nods "and you're just telling me now?"

Jackson sighs "I wasn't ever going to tell you"

Aaron fixes him with a sharp glare "what the hell does that mean?"

"It means they told me to stop and I told them I wasn't going to. I told them I'm going to do my job until the very second I can no longer do it"

"No you're not"

"Yes I am" Jackson says "The check up I had before that last one, they told me to stop working as much and I did. I told you I didn't have much on, just so you wouldn't question it but I tried to stop. I couldn't"

"You lied to me?" Aaron asks

"I had to. You would have tried to stop me and we would have argued"

"What did you mean? You weren't ever going to tell me?"

"I was going to leave" he says, stealing a look at Aaron to see his eyes widen but he doesn't say anything, just waits on Jackson continuing with his story.

"While you were out I was just gonna get in the van and drive"

"You what?" Why?"

"They say if I don't stop what I'm doing, my back is going to give in on me, for good. I won't be able to walk and I don't want to put you through that, again"

Aaron's mouth keeps opening and closing, he can't find the words. He wants to tell Jackson that he's a stupid, selfish bastard but he can't find the words

"I was planning on going today, before Debbie reminded me that you would go mad and not stop until you found me"

"So you're only here because of Debbie?" Aaron scoffs. He's hurt, he's livid and he's angry. He can't believe Jackson was going to run out on him; usually he's the one that runs.

"No" Jackson says quickly "I'm here because I don't want to hurt you and I've been pushing you away ever since they told me. I don't want you to have to put up with me Aaron"

"Huh" Aaron says with a sarcastic laugh "what you mean is, you don't trust me? If you get bad again, you think I'm gonna bail? That I'll walk away when things get tough?" Aaron gets to his feet and starts to pace the living room floor "how can you think that? Did I run last time? Even when you tried to push me away I stayed!" Aaron exclaims "and now you don't trust me?"

One of Aaron's hands finds it's way into his jacket pocket, inside he feels the small ring box and it stops him mid rant.

"I could end up in a wheelchair Aaron"

"Stop working"

Jackson shakes his head, in his head that isn't even an option. He's a builder and he's not going to give up something he loves while he can do it "I can't"

"You can. It's pretty simple"

Jackson shakes his head "I can't and if you can't handle that then I'll leave and you won't have to worry about it or me again"

Jackson gets to his feet and comes to a stop in front of him "You won't be able to handle it and I can't give up my job"

"Not even for me?" Aaron asks, his voice almost breaking and Jackson shakes his head sadly "I didn't tell you or my Mum all those years ago for this reason, you trying to guilt trip me into not working"

"Guilt trip you?" Aaron says, his voice and his anger rising "Trying to make you see sense is guilt tripping you!" Aaron demands "Well, I'm sorry you feel like that" he grabs the box out of his pocket and holds in it his hand.

"Here" he says throwing the ring box at Jackson "why don't you give that to someone who won't guilt trip you, someone you can trust" with that said Aaron does what he does best. He runs. Well, he storms out of the house in an angry, hurt mood, heading straight for the Woolpack. He needed a drink or five.

* * *

Jackson isn't exactly sure what had just happened or how it happened but Aaron was running past their living room window and he was left alone, inside the house. He didn't want to hurt him but he needed him to understand that he couldn't change who he was because of something that might happen. OK so it wasn't a might, it really would happen but he couldn't change and he didn't want to.

Looking down at the floor for whatever it was Aaron had thrown at him Jackson can't see anything at first. They're carpet is dark blue as is the ring box, it was only when Jackson took a step and his foot landed on it that he found what Aaron had thrown at him.

At first, as he bends down he's not entirely sure what it is but once it's in his hand and he's staring at it, eyes wide. He knows.

Jackson stands in the middle of his living room staring at this tiny blue box, shocked. He's arguing with himself. Telling himself that it couldn't possibly be what he thinks it is, this is Aaron after all and Aaron wouldn't ever do that, would he?

Without knowing it Jackson's feet have walked him back to the sofa and he drops down onto it, still holding the tiny blue box as if it were made of glass.

He's nervous and his hands are shaking slightly. He doesn't want to open it for fear of what he may or may not find.

He flicks the lid of the box open and his eyes are drawn to the two identical rings sitting inside it, one slightly bigger than the other. Jackson licks his lips and swallows the lump in his throat. His mouth is dry and suddenly feels like sand paper.

Aaron had this in his pocket while Jackson was telling him he planned on leaving? Leaving because he didn't really, if he was honest to himself, not that he'd ever admit it to Aaron. He didn't think that Aaron would stick around and he wouldn't really blame him but he had obviously been wrong.

He sits staring at the two gold rings, holding them in his hands wondering how the hell he's going to fix this. Aaron had thrown them at him, obviously upset with him. He had to find him, he knew where he was, grabbing his Jacket off the rack by the door Jackson headed out into the cold Autumn night, it had started to rain, Jackson hated rain so he ran as quick as he could to the Woolpack.

He didn't want to cause a scene, he wanted to quietly talk to his boyfriend, maybe get him out of the Woolpack but if they caused a scene he was more than happy to cause it.

He spotted him as soon as he entered the Woolpack, he was sat at a table with an empty pint glass in front of him and another one well on it's way to joining it.

"You've been here for less than fifteen minutes, how many have you had?" Jackson asks, standing in front of the table.

"I can drink whatever I want" Aaron bites back but it lacks his usual attitude. Jackson slides into the empty chair opposite

"You'd think after all this time you would stop running and just talk to me like the adult you claim to be"

"Who was the one that said he was going to get in his van and just drive off?" Aaron barks at him "pretty sure that was you"

Jackson retrieves the box from his pocket and places it on the table "Is this what I think it its?"

Aaron doesn't look at him instead he stares at the box, before grunting and drinking his pint "like you care"

Jackson rolls his eyes "Aaron…" he trails off because he's not really sure what to say or do.

"Aaron what?" he demands "Aaron how could you have been so stupid when he clearly wants to leave you and doesn't trust you to stick around when and if things get tough? I know, I'm asking myself the exact same thing"

"Come back to the house, so we can talk?"

"No" Aaron says, in that stubborn way of his "you want to have this conversation here?"

Aaron looks around, the pub isn't that crowded but it's full of gossips and without a word to Jackson he stands up, grabs the ring box and heads for the door.

"You'll need to pay for my drinks" Aaron throws over his shoulder on his way out.

Stopping short of following him, Jackson stops at the bar and pulls out his wallet "what does he owe you?"

Mhoira smiles at him, it's a patronising smile that says _how can you still put up with him _but her mouth actually says "Seven ninety"

Jackson pulls out a ten pound note "Keep the change" he tells her before running after his boyfriend. He's half expecting him to have done a disappearing act, but he hasn't, he's leaning against one of the picnic tables, getting soaked.

"Surprised I'm still here?" Aaron asks but Jackson shakes his head "Liar" Aaron tells him, he knows him better than that "you thought I would have disappeared just so I don't have to talk to you"

"Well, you've done it before"

Aaron stands up straight and stares at Jackson before nodding his head ever so slightly "Yeah" he agrees "but I'm a big boy now"

"Let's go back to the house" Jackson says starting to head in that direction but Aaron grabs his Jacket, stopping him "Can we just go for a walk?" he asks. He didn't want to go back to the house. He didn't want to feel as if the walls were caving in on him. If he was going to do this he needed a lot of air and space incase he decided to run.

They head off down the road in awkward silence "You should do as much walking as possible" Aaron says "seen as how your going to do everything you can to make sure that sooner or later you can't walk"

Jackson rolls his eyes "Aaron…what's in the box?" Aaron stops walking "telling me you didn't look inside it?"

Jackson doesn't answer, just stares waiting on him answering "Does it mean what I think it means?"

Aaron shrugs "It means I was blaming myself for you pushing me away, I thought it was my fault and that you were scared to let me in incase I screwed up again. I wanted something to show you that I'm serious about you, about us and that i'm not about to screw it up again"

"Are you serious?" Jackson asks

Aaron takes the box out his pocket where he had put it after leaving the Woolpack for safe keeping and looks at it "Unless, you don't want to" Aaron says, suddenly unsure. Everyone, including him was so sure it would be something Jackson wanted but what if it isn't?

Jackson couldn't keep the smirk from his face, he was going to make him say it or at least try to make him say it "Unless I don't want to what?"

Aaron laughs "You know what"

"Maybe you should tell me"

"Maybe you shouldn't push your luck" Aaron tells him and Jackson just laughs "You sure it'll fit me?"

Aaron gives him a dirty look and scowls "What?" Jacksons says with a laugh "We got your ring size earlier"

"We?" Jackson asks "Oh!" he says as it suddenly dawns on him "You and Victoria, that's why you stopped by earlier"

Aaron nods

"You let her loose in our room?"

Aaron likes the way he says _our room _even although it had just been his for around a month now "She just took the ring your Mam gave you, calm down" Aaron's eyebrows pull together "not hiding something you shouldn't be are you?"

"What like pictures of you that I use to get me to sleep at night?" he suggests with a suggestive smirk on his face

"You could have had the real thing at any point, only had to say"

Their banter stops as Aaron flicks the lid open to reveal the two gold bands "Victoria picked them" he says nervously "you know how much I hate shopping"

Deciding to make it easier on him because that's what Jackson did, he made Aaron's life easier for him. He stepped closer to him and plucked the box from his hand "Are you sure about this Aaron, everyone's gonna know as soon as they notice your hand"

Aaron nods "Of course I am. I'm not ashamed of us"

"Anymore" Jackson adds with a small smile but Aaron shakes his head "I've never been ashamed of us. I was, at one point ashamed of myself but never you" Deciding to stop beating around the bush Aaron took the ring that was meant for him out of the box and slid it onto his finger on his left hand before taking out the ring for Jackson.

Jackson was amused. Aaron, even after all this time still isn't comfortable with his emotions and showing them "Do…would…" Aaron closes his eyes and curses under his breath.

"I want to Marry you Aaron" Jacksons says, making it easier for him like he always did. Aaron grins "I didn't ask you"

Jackson rolls his eyes "if you want me to wait on you, I'll be fifty by the time you say the words"

Aaron scowls "You're a dick"

"You're dick" Jackson promises "and apparently I'm yours for the rest of my life"

Aaron frowns, before grabbing Jackson's left hand and sliding the ring into place, it fits, perfectly "We aren't married yet and we'll have to get there, I might kill you first"

Jackson shakes his head "You like having me around far too much to kill me"

Aaron scoffs "keep talking, your voice drives me nuts"

Jackson shuts him up the only way he knows how, it's the quickest and most efficient way of shutting his boyfriend up and that is by kissing him. The kiss is sweet and tender, conveying emotions that neither one of them quite know how to explain and thankfully neither of them have to.

When they pull apart they're both a little breathless and both of them are extremely happy "how about we go home and work on getting you used to our room again?" Jackson asks with a coy smile on his face.

"Great idea!" Aaron says as he's slipping his hand into Jackson's and pulling him back towards their place.

It's not ideal. They still have things they need to sort out. Aaron still has things he wants to say about Jackson and his inability to stop building even although it could stop him from walking. Jackson still has to make it clear to Aaron that nothing and no one, not even him is going to make him stop building. He's a builder and he'll be a builder until the second he can no longer stand. It's not ideal and they should sort it out and they will but right now, right now the two of them want to celebrate in their own unique way the fact that they are now engaged, even although no question was ever asked but that's just them. They don't need words. They just need each other.

* * *

A/N - AS ALWAYS, REVIEWS ARE WANTED, WELCOME AND APPRECIATED! :D


	11. BE11

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_

* * *

_

_Waiting all my life to find you_  
_Always been one step behind you_  
_Your love babe_  
_I've been waiting all my life_

_I was tired of waiting_  
_Every night was praying_  
_Everyday would be the day I'd find you_  
_I grew so impatient, how long would it take_  
_To know you were out there somewhere _  
_Somewhere waiting, wondering just like me_

_

* * *

_

Since their "engagement" that wasn't really an engagement more of a mutual agreement to take their relationship to the next level, one day. Things had been going pretty well in the world of Aaron and Jackson.

Aaron had moved back into the room he shared with Jackson and now there was no sign that he had ever even moved out, just the way the two of them liked it. They had been engaged or whatever anyone wanted to call it for two weeks and things had been practically perfect in those two weeks all except one thing. Jackson, Jackson and his stubborn refusal to give up work, it was driving Aaron insane.

Adam had just walked into the Woolpack and spotted his best mate sitting on his own at the back "Hey, where's Jackson?" he asked looking around but also noticed there was only one glass on the table.

"Where do you think?" Aaron replied. Adam's eyes widened, Aaron had told him about what the Doctors had said to Jackson

"He's still working?" he asks and Aaron nods

"Have you asked him not to?"

Aaron looks at his friend like he's crazy "Oh no, no I've said you go on Jackson, go to work end up in a wheelchair"

Adam rolls his eyes "Right. Sorry"

Aaron shakes his head "Nah, I'm sorry. It's just…it's getting to me. He won't stop working"

Adam changes the subject and Aaron goes along with it because he doesn't want to dwell on it but still it's there in the back of his mind.

Aaron's phone goes off and he sends whoever is calling him to voicemail "Who's that?" Adam asks and Aaron shrugs but doesn't answer him which just intrigues Adam more.

"Who was it?"

"Jackson" Aaron finally admits "You ignored him?" Adam says in disbelief, Aaron rarely ever ignores Jackson's calls.

"If he's calling to tell me he's working late I might just deck him when I see him, better I don't talk to him"

Adam shakes his head and sighs. He loves the both of them and he can remember how bad it was for them the first time around, he doesn't want to watch them go through it again.

"Well if he wont do it for you who else is he likely to listen to?"

Aaron's head snaps up and he grins "Adam! You're a genius" he tells his best friend

"I am?" Adam asks confused as to what he's said

"Don't know why I didn't think of it"

"Of what?" Adam demands to know he's lost

"Hazel" Aaron says quickly "if anyone can get him to give up building it'll be her! Why didn't I think of this before"

"Isn't she abroad somewhere?"

Aaron nods "Yeah but she'll come back for Jackson" he smirks "I'll just be calling her" he grins but Adam has a doubtful look on his face "Are you sure? He's not going to be too happy with you calling him Mum"

Aaron shrugs, he couldn't care less how pleased he is, he's doing it "Don't care; I'll see you later yeah? I'm gonna go call her" Adam nods and with that Aaron runs out of the Woolpack as fast as he possibly can.

Two days later and Jackson was at home, alone, well Chuck was with him but still he was alone when the door bell rang. It was strange, everyone he knew always just walked in.

Pulling the door open his eyes widened, the last person he ever expected to see was standing on his door step.

"Mum?" he says in a high pitched tone of voice "What are you doing here?"

"Not going to invite me in?"

"Uh…yeah" he says stepping back and opening his door a little wider "come in"

"Come here you!" she says as soon as he's closed the front door and pulls him into a hug. Jackson returns the hug but still has no idea why she's there. She hadn't even called him to tell him.

"Now!" she says in a more serious tone "What the hell are you playing at?"

Jackson's eyes widened, it suddenly all made sense "Aaron called you didn't he?"

Hazel nodded and she had a less than pleased look on her face "Thank god he did!"

Jackson groaned and headed into the living room, his Mother dropped her suitcase in the hall and followed him

"You're giving up building"

"I'm not" Jackson replies simply but he should know better than to argue with his Mother, she'll always win in the end.

"Stop being so stubborn Jackson"

With that said and Jackson throwing himself down onto the sofa, trying unsuccessfully to block out the sound of his Mother's ranting for an hour and half, she finally gave up trying "I'm going to go to the pub" Hazel "just to say hi" she warns him "When I come back we're talking about this again"

"Can't wait" Jackson says plastering on a fake smile. What he really wants to do is go out back to the garage and scream at Aaron for telling his Mother and he will, just as soon as she leaves.

Hazel left through the front door and Jackson all but flew out the back. Unfortunately for him his rant had to wait as Aaron was talking to a customer and being Jackson, he was far too polite to interrupt.

Aaron was talking to his customer when he noticed Jackson come flying out of their back door with a face like thunder. He wasn't pleased and Aaron knew why. Hazel had texted him to tell him she was just leaving the airport and that had been well over an hour ago. She'd obviously had a chat with the builder and Jackson obviously had a problem with him calling her.

He dealt with the customer as quick as possible and made his way towards Jackson "Alright?" he asked, trying to sound normal.

"Oh yeah" Jackson replies sarcastically "I've enjoyed having my mother talk _at _me for the past hour and a half?"

"You're Mum's here?" Aaron asks, feigning ignorance.

Jackson pulls a face and says "We both know you called her Aaron, so don't act stupid"

Aaron merely shrugs

"She's not going to change my mind anymore than you can" Jackson tells him but Aaron scoffs at that. He knows like Jackson knows that Hazel won't go anywhere until she has stopped Jackson from working. She's not about to let anything happen to her son if she can help it.

"Hope you enjoy the couch" Jackson tells him to which Aaron rolls his eyes "Yeah, right" he shakes his head "Let's not fall out yeah?" he suggests taking a step towards Jackson.

Jackson sighs "I don't want to fight with you…I just wish you hadn't got her involved"

"I'll involve whoever I need to, to get you to see sense" Aaron tells him seriously because it's true, he will do whatever he needs to in order to show Jackson how much of an idiot he's being.

Jackson closes his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath. He doesn't want to fight or argue with Aaron, they've had enough to last them a lifetime and he knows Aaron is only trying to do what he thinks is best but he needs to understand that Jackson can't give up something he loves, can he?

One week later and Hazel had gone back to her teaching job in Spain and Jackson, as Aaron knew he would agreed to at least try and take a step back from the business because it's not like he had to be on every job, he just enjoyed it that way.

With Jackson taking time off of his work, which Aaron hoped would be an indefinite time he decided it would only be fair of him to take some time off the garage, to spend with Jackson. To make the transition easier for him but when he woke up at nine thirty to find and empty bed and an empty drive Aaron had immediately assumed Jackson was off to work.

Quickly grabbing his phone and dialling Jackson's number soon put his mind to ease. Aaron hated having to call Jackson on his mobile. He still had nightmares about the time calling Jackson on his mobile almost made him lose Jackson. Aaron knew Jackson would never make that mistake again but still, he worried.

"_I'm not at work, I'm doing a favour for a mate" _Jackson had said when he answered his phone and then quickly ended it by saying _"gotta go, be home soon. Stop worrying" _

If Aaron was a suspicious man, Jackson behaviour on the phone could be seen to be suspicious, but he wasn't and he trusted Jackson completely, really he did, it was just other people coming onto him that Aaron had the problem with.

It was now just before eleven and Aaron was in the kitchen making himself breakfast after finally pulling himself out of bed once it was clear Jackson wasn't coming back for a while.

He hears Jackson's van pull up outside and he makes his way to the front door just in time to see Jackson bundle through the front door carrying something he shouldn't have been.

Aaron face scrunches "What's _that" _Aaron asks, his eyes widening as Jackson pushes past him, leaving him to close the front door.

Jackson rolls his eyes "This" he says "Is Maddie"

Jackson has a brown haired little girl that Aaron is sure he's seen before put can't quite place. He didn't like kids "Why have you got it?"

"It's a kid Aaron, not an it"

"Why do you have it?" Aaron asks as he watches his boyfriend place the little girl on the ground and hand her the toy he had.

"I have her" Jackson straightens up "because I'm doing a favour for my mate" Jackson switches the TV on and puts it on some cartoon channel.

"Got her as an excuse to watch cartoons, have you?" Aaron scoffs at his boyfriend. Jackson takes in Aaron's state of undress "Put some clothes on before you scare her"

Aaron pulls a face "How long have you got it, sorry her, for?"

"Few hours. Tina's got a job interview and her babysitter fell through so she asked me"

"And you said yes?"

Jackson nods "nowt else to do with myself have i?" he says "since someone made me give up work" he eyes Aaron up and down "go put some clothes on before you scare her" he says again

Aaron rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically "Fine!" he relents, dropping a quick kiss to Jackson's waiting lips.

An hour later Aaron reappears in the living room and drops into the chair, his gaze flicks to the TV, its on some stupid kids cartoon, the kid isn't even watching the blooming thing. She's too busy playing with Jackson.

Aaron can't help but watch. It amazes him how well Jackson can adapt to any situation, he's great with kids and sometimes Aaron finds himself wishing that Jackson's life had been different, that he had it easier, god knows he deserves it.

"Do you wish things were different" Aaron says without much thought. Jackson looks at him, unsure at what he meant

"What do you mean?"

Aaron nods at Maddie "that you're life was normal"

"I am normal" Jackson informs his boyfriend "I just happen to be gay"

Aaron rolls his eyes "You know what I mean"

Jackson takes a deep breath and pulls himself up to sit on the sofa opposite Aaron "Honestly, sometimes I would be easier, have the wife kids, nice house"

"I wish you did" Aaron tells him and Jackson pulls a face and Aaron explains himself "you've been through so much and you're so good with them. Sometime's I wish you had it easier"

Jackson smiles at him, sometimes he wishes the same for Aaron "but!" Jackson says slapping his hands together "if I was straight I wouldn't be here with you would I?"

Aaron smiles "I'm sure we would have still met" Aaron tells him because he's sure of it. Jackson shrugs and grins "I still prefer you"

Aaron laughs

"Although I know if you were given the chance you'd chose to be straight over me but I'll live with it"

Aaron shakes his head and says "don't be so sure"

They sit in an awkward silence for the next few minutes before Aaron decides to break it and change the subject

"So…" he says nodding at Maddie once more "when is she going?"

Jackson shakes his head "Why? She's not doing anything to you"

Aaron nods at that "I know that…I just had plans for us"

"Plans?" Jackson says, sometimes he's slow on the uptake.

"Well…something we haven't done in a few days" Aaron says wiggling his eyebrows suggestively

Jackson laughs "A few days?" he asks with a laugh "we did _that _two days ago"

"Yeah!" Aaron says "two days too long" he looks at Maddie "I took time off to spend with you, not babysit a kid"

"Suck it up; she won't be here that long"

Before Aaron can retort the door bell rings "I'll get it then, shall i?" he says as he gets up "wouldn't want to disturb you're playtime"

Aaron opens the door to find the last person he expected to see and the last person he wanted to see.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Aaron demands, staring at his visitor

"I'm just…"

"I don't care!"

Hearing Aaron's raised voice Jackson picks up Maddie and heads towards the door to see what the problem is.

"Aaron…what's going on?" he asks pulling the door open to see who is standing at it. His eyes also widen and he looks at Aaron

"Hi" it's Jerry, Jackson's dad who neither of them have seen in years. Jackson swallows the lump in throat "What…what are you doing here?"

Before Jerry can answer, Aaron answers "doesn't matter, he's leaving"

Jackson looks at his boyfriend, he knows he's trying to protect him "Take Maddie yeah?" he hands the little girl to Aaron, who takes her and holds her against his chest uncomfortably. "Hi" he says with a hard smile to the little girl.

"I'm not leaving you alone with him" Aaron states, while glaring at Jerry, daring him to say something

"Yes you are" Jackson tells him "take her back into the living room"

Aaron looks between his boyfriend and his father "Fine. Start anything" he warns Jerry "I'll kill you"

Jackson waits until Aaron is safely back in the living room "What are you doing here?" before asking his father what he wants.

"Who's is the kid?" Jerry asks

Jackson scoffs "Don't think you came all the way here for that"

"Tell him to do one!" Aaron voice comes from the living room.

Jackson steps outside of the house closing the door behind him, so he and his Father can have a little privacy away from Aaron's comments that Jackson knows aren't going to stop.

"Can we talk for a bit?" Jerry asks and Jackson nods "Let's take a walk" Jackson suggests.

* * *

A/N - REVIEWS AS ALWAYS ARE WELCOME, WANTED AND APPRECIATED!


	12. BE12

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Haven't felt like writing but forced myself to write this chapter! Hope you like it! _

* * *

_Well you showed me_  
_How it feels_  
_To feel the sky_  
_Within my reach_  
_And I always_  
_Will remember all_  
_The strength you_  
_Gave to me_  
_Your love made me_  
_Make it through_  
_Oh, I owe so much to you_  
_You were right there for me_

* * *

Aaron's in the living room with Maddie but his thoughts are on Jackson and Jerry. He hated leaving him alone with Jackson. He didn't trust Jerry as far as he could throw him. A tapping on his leg brought him out of his own little world and back into the real one, where a little girl really wanted to be kept occupied.

Aaron lifts one eyebrow and gives the little girl a look "can you talk?" he asks her and she giggles before nodding

"What age are you?" he asks her

"Nearly four" Maddie tells him with a toothy smile. Aaron nods, he's completely outside his comfort zone, he has no idea how to entertain a kid, a boy, maybe he could handle but a little girl? He was lost.

"Where's Jackson?" she asks, looking up at him with big soulful brown eyes that reminded him of Jackson's.

"He'll be back soon" he tells her and she shrugs her small shoulders "he's better at playing than you"

Aaron laughs to himself at her words and grins "Is he really?"

Maddie nods and pulls a face "Well then!" Aaron says getting to his feet and lifting her up into his arms. He had no idea how long Jackson was gonna be so he'd have to find something to keep Maddie entertained.

"What do you want to do?" Aaron asks her "do you have any sweets?" she asks him and Aaron nods before carrying her into the kitchen. He sits her on the counter top by the fridge and stands in front of her, making sure she can't fall.

Opening the cupboard above her head with his free hand he lifts out a sweet for her and just as he's about to hand it to her, her eyes widen with delight which has Aaron pulling it away quickly "are you allowed sweets?"

She frowns in disappointment but says "Yes" the most unconvincing tone Aaron has ever heard. Aaron laughs at her "You really mean no, don't you?"

Slowly Maddie nods and sticks her bottom lip out. "Here" he says handing it to her just as she wraps her fingers around it he says to her "Don't tell Jackson? Alright?"

Maddie nods her head in agreement and grins; she'd say anything to get her chocolate.

Chuck moving from his favourite spot under the radiator caught Maddie's eyes light up and she grins "Doggy!" she exclaimed happily and Aaron grinned. He now had a way to keep her entertained.

"You like dogs?" he asks and she nods her head quickly, trying to get down off the counter. Aaron lifts her into his arms once more and bends down, so he's eye level with Chuck.

He stands Maddie on her feet inbetween his legs and she looks at Chuck who stands just taller than her, her big brown eyes wide "What's her name?" she asks

"It's a boy" he tells her "His name's Chuck"

She scrunches her face up, obviously not liking the dogs name "Can I call him fluffy?" she asks Aaron.

Aaron shakes his head "He won't answer you" he tells her in a serious tone. He's not having his dog called Fluffy even if it is by a three year old.

Obliviously disappointed by that but quick to get over it, she throws her arms around Chuck's neck. Chuck thankfully is like Jackson. He adapts to any situation and just likes to be petted. He's a good dog and Aaron knows he wouldn't hurt her but he's not about to leave her alone with him.

Aaron drops his bum onto the cold hard tiles of the kitchen floor and watches as Maddie plays with Chuck, throwing his toy across the room for him to fetch before repeating the cycle over and over again.

Aaron isn't sure how long he had been sitting there when suddenly Maddie was standing in front of him, her head tilted to the side while she looks him up and down.

"Yeah?" Aaron asks her.

"I'm bored" she tells him "can we do something else?"

Aaron pulls a face "What's wrong with playing with Chuck?" he asks her but she just shrugs "Why don't you have hair?" she asks him and Aaron can't help but laugh at her "I have hair" he tells her but she's shaking her head, disagreeing with him.

"No you don't" she tells him "Jackson has hair but you don't"

"Jackson" Aaron says with a smile "You wanna go find him? He'll play with you, he's much more fun than me, aint he?" he asks as he pulls himself to his feet and scoops her up into his arms once more. It'll be faster and easier than walking with her because Aaron suspects she's slow.

"Yeah" Maddie agrees with him "I love Jackson" she tells him with a small smile which makes Aaron grin "me too" he tells her.

He's just about to open the front door when it opens for him and in walks Jackson. He stops dead "Where you going?" he asks his boyfriend, closing the door behind him.

"Coming to find you" Aaron tells him "I'm not much fun to play with"

Jackson lifts his eyebrows and grins and Aaron says "For three year olds anyway" he nudges him with his shoulder and follows him into the living room. Maddie still in his arms "and you were taking way too long with that idiot, what did he want?"

"Well" Jackson starts "he wanted me, not you"

Before Aaron can give some sarcastic reply to that Jackson's phone rings "Hold that thought" he tells him as he pulls his phone out his pocket "It's Tina"

* * *

Over an hour later and Jackson was once again walking through their front door. It was now just after 4pm in the day and Aaron still hadn't found out just what it was that Jerry wanted. Jackson had run out of the door with Maddie intent on taking her home rather than answering Aaron's questions. Well he had nowhere to run now.

"So got you to myself now have i?" Aaron asks him as he walks into the living room and drops down onto the sofa.

"You have!" Jackson states dropping his hand onto Aaron's thigh, his head falls back, his eyes close and he sighs. It's been a long day already. First Maddie, then his Dad and now, now he knows Aaron is going to bombard him with questions and he wasn't going to like the answers.

Aaron turns his body towards his boyfriend, tucking one leg under him and getting comfortable. Sub-consciously he lifts Jackson hand into his own and threads his fingers through his.

Jackson looks into Aaron's deep blue eyes and smiles a little. He can see the question brimming just underneath the surface. Aaron smiles back before his eyes drop to their hands.

"He wanted my help" Jackson says

"Who?" Aaron asks, not looking up from their hands, he's lost in his own thoughts.

"My dad" Jackson tells him "He said he was sorry for the past and wanted to make it up to me. He also said he had a job for me"

"Hmmm" Aaron says which surprises Jackson, he's sure his boyfriend should have blown up by now.

Aaron wasn't really listening to Jackson. He was too lost in his own memories. Six years ago he almost lost Jackson, six years ago Jackson couldn't feel whenever he touched the hand he was currently holding.

Aaron has never been as happy as he was the day Jackson started getting feeling back. It was the start of a brand new chapter in their relationship and now he was perfectly fine, he could feel every touch of Aaron's hand.

"Aaron, are you listening to me?" Jackson's voice finally gets through and he snaps his head up, a sheepish smile on his face "What?"

Jackson shakes his head "Sorry" Aaron says to him, focusing on him fully "What were you saying? What did that moron want?"

Jackson rolls his eyes before telling him again "He said he was sorry and asked me to help him out"

"Help him out?" Jackson nods "Work on his house, he said he needed the best builder he knew"

Aaron's eyes narrow "so he apologised because he wants you to do him a favour?" Jackson shrugs; it's a start at least

"You told him where to go, right?" Aaron asks but it's clear from the look on Jackson's face that he hasn't.

"Jackson!" Aaron groans in a defeated manner "You're not doing it" he states firmly.

Jackson scoffs, Aaron doesn't tell him what to do and they both know it "Think you'll find I am!"

"We got you to take time off work and what? You think you're just going to take this job? Because it's him?"

"I'm going mental sitting around doing nothing Aaron; it's not a big job"

"Big, small whatever! It's not good for you and for him? You're not doing it!"

"Oh and if Paddy had asked me to do something for him, would you be this dead set against it?" Jackson threw at him

Aaron's eyebrows pull together. Comparing Paddy to Jerry was like comparing fire to ice. Paddy was always there for them. Jerry on the other hand, hated them.

"Yes!" Aaron says in a raised voice "I wouldn't let you do it for him either"

Jackson rolls his eyes, obviously not believing him "Yeah, right" he scoffs" he thinks about moving away but he's knackered and he doesn't want an argument so he stays put on the sofa beside Aaron.

"You're not going to listen to me, are you?" Aaron finally asks. He doesn't want to argue with Jackson, especially not over Jerry.

Jackson shakes his head "He's my Dad Aaron and no matter what I love him and I'm doing this, it's not that big of a job"

"Better not be" Aaron warns him "He's paying you right?"

"He offered but I told him I didn't want it"

"I can't believe you" Aaron says, dropping Jackson's hand from his own and pushing himself up off the sofa.

"Where you going?"

"To get a drink" Aaron states, heading out of the living room "It's not even five o'clock yet!" Jackson says following him

"What are you? My dad?" Aaron barks pulling a bottle of beer out of the fridge, opening it then necking half the bottle.

Jackson pulls the bottle from Aaron's hands just before he can put it back to his lips "No, I'm your boyfriend. The boyfriend you took time off work to be with, remember?"

Aaron shrugs reaching for the bottle again "yeah, well, you had other plans for the day. I should have just went to work"

Jackson moves the bottle further out of his reach "Well, you didn't" Jackson states " Now, how about we go do what you wanted to do this morning?" he asks "after all, it's been _ages_ hasn't it?"

"Is that you're idea of seducing me?" Aaron scoffs "not that great"

"I did that years ago" Jackson grins "Now I just have to demand you get in that bedroom"

"Oh you think so do you?" Aaron says his anger and frustration gone and replaced with something else. He takes a step towards him "You're not all that"

Jackson grins "Say it like you mean it next time, eh?"

Aaron rolls his eyes dramatically and slaps both hands against Jackson's chest and pulls on his top "Shut up" he says turning around and pulling Jackson upstairs.

* * *

A/N - AS ALWAYS REVIEWS ARE WANTED, WELCOME AND APPRECIATED!


	13. BE13

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV._

* * *

_I've been down_  
_Now I'm blessed_  
_I felt a revelation coming around_  
_I guess its right, it's so amazing_  
_Everytime I see you I'm alive_  
_You're all I've got_  
_You lift me up_  
_The sun and the moonlight_  
_All my dreams are in your eyes_

* * *

Aaron stretched out in bed, rolling onto his side with his eyes still closed but his hands looking for Jackson. His hands connected with Jackson's side of the bed but it was cold, he'd obviously been out of it for a while.

They had retired to the bedroom just before five in the afternoon the day before and the only time they left it, well he left it was to get them something to eat as they had worked up quite an appetite but apart from they had been in bed for well over 12 hours. Catching a glance at the alarm clock on the cabinet by Jackson's side of the bed Aaron could see it was just before eight. They had been in that bedroom for close to 15 hours but boy it had been worth it.

Aaron had hoped to carry it on, after all. He owned the garage and he didn't need to go in, he had taken time off but hell he couldn't care if no one opened up. He wanted to spend time with Jackson. So where the hell was he? Aaron really couldn't be bothered pulling himself out of bed to find him. He was probably just in the bathroom.

Falling onto his back again he let out a contented sigh. He was happy, happier than he had been in a long time because he and Jackson were solid and that's all he needed. Jackson, Paddy and Adam were the only people he needed in his life and as long as he had them, his life was pretty perfect.

He didn't have long to wait just a few short minutes later the bedroom door opened and in walked Jackson. Aaron could tell he assumed that he was still sleeping by the way he quietly eased the door closed behind him. If he'd only looked at the bed he would have seen that Aaron was wide awake but he didn't.

Aaron noticed that the towel was hanging low on his hips and water droplets were running down off his hair and chest, obviously he was just out the shower. Why was he in the shower this early in the morning?

"Should have woke me up, I would have joined you"

Aaron's voice startles Jackson. He hadn't been expecting it "Trying to give me a heart attack?" Jackson complains to which Aaron merely rolls his eyes.

"You joining me?" Jackson says, a smile tugging at his lips "I wanted a quick shower, not a prolonged one"

Aaron pulls a face and shifts himself down so he's sitting on the edge on of the bed. His arms sneaking out and tugging on the towel where it's tucked in at Jackson's hip "No need to shower" Aaron tells him "You're just going to need another one once I'm finished" he tells him while tugging Jackson closer to him and the bed by the towel.

Jackson allows himself to be tugged closer to the bed and to Aaron. He's standing practically between Aaron's legs. Looking down on him, Aaron has a smile on his face as he plays with the tie of towel but Jackson interrupts his fun by slapping Aaron's hand away lightly.

"Hey!" Aaron complains, his eyebrows pulling together showing his confusion and disappointment but Jackson's hand cups the bottom of Aaron's chin and he presses a quick kiss to Aaron's waiting and _oh _so willing lips, making sure to pull away before Aaron could try to deepen it. As much as Jackson would enjoy it, he had somewhere he needed to be and Aaron would only end up making him late.

"You'll make me late" he tells him once he's pulled away. Aaron's confusion deepens what would he make him late for?

"For what?"

"I told you yesterday" Jackson says, not really wanting to get into it because he doesn't want another argument. Not after last night and how perfect it had been.

Aaron racks his brain to remember just where Jackson could have told him he was going but he comes up empty "Not me"

Jackson rolls his eyes "Oh, must have been my other boyfriend"

Aaron tuts "No one else would put up with you"

Jackson scoffs while fishing out a pair of boxers from the drawer and pulling them on, still with his towel wrapped around his hips. He wasn't going to remove the towel until his boxers were on. He didn't trust himself or Aaron all that much "I'm amazing to be around"

"Yeah. Keep telling yourself that" Aaron replies with a grin "No" he says seriously "Where you going?"

Jackson takes a deep breath "I'm doing a job for my Dad"

Aaron's eyes widen and Jackson expects the worse. Aaron notes the builders' reaction to telling him and he knows Jackson fully expects him to blow up about it. He's not happy about it and he wasn't about to pretend otherwise but he didn't want to argue with Jackson over Jerry. OK so he should argue with him over the fact that he's working when he shouldn't be but he was so bored of that argument and Jackson didn't listen.

"You didn't tell me you were starting today" Aaron explains, in a calm, neutral voice that surprises even him.

"Well" Jackson says with a smirk "you didn't give me much of a chance what with you dragging me upstairs and having your way with me"

Aaron scrunches his face up "funny how you didn't complain last night"

Jackson has just pulled on a pair of jeans and is fastening the belt "Not complaining now" he tells him as he finishes with his belt and moves back to stand in front of Aaron who is still sitting on the bed. Just as he gets to him however Aaron stands "Better not be" Aaron informs him "and I have had my way you'd be doing something else right now"

"I know, I know. Later"

"I took time off work for you and everything"

Jackson knows that Aaron planned on taking time off work and he was thankful, of course he was and if his Dad hadn't turned up yesterday they would be in bed right now, making the most of Aaron's time off but he had agreed to do this for his Dad and he was going to do it. Aaron could take time off whenever he wanted.

"I know" Jackson smiles at him "but this won't take long, I promise"

"Ok" Aaron says "I'll make breakfast" with that he walks out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen.

Jackson watches him go with an amused expression. He was calm and hadn't even started an argument. Jackson assumed he must have still been half asleep because that wasn't Aaron, not his Aaron anyway and especially not when it came to his Dad. Aaron hated him because of everything that had happened between him and his Dad and because Jerry didn't hide the fact he hated Aaron too, just because he was Gay.

Jackson was fully dressed five minutes later when he walked into the kitchen. Aaron was just making them Coffee "Cofffee?" he asks without looking up from the cups

"Yeah. Thanks" Jackson answers as he settles himself back against the counter top at the side of Aaron.

Jackson eyes his boyfriend. He seems alright and he probably shouldn't ask just in case he changes his mood but he has to, otherwise he'll be thinking about it all day.

"You alright?"

Aaron looks at Jackson, surprise and confusion written across his features "Yeah, why?"

"You just seem…" Jackson shrugs and Aaron smiles a little, realising what he's getting at

"I know" he says "You expected me to go off on one" he lets out a little laugh "I did too but…" he steps to the side so he's in front of Jackson "We've argued enough for one year I think"

Jackson nods in agreement, they definitely have "and i'm not happy about it because you've been told not to work but I love you and I just want you to be happy"

Jackson's face lights up at the declaration of those three little words. Aaron didn't say them all that often which made when he did all that more special

"I am happy"

"Good. Just make sure he doesn't do anything to change that, yeah?"

The two of them slipped into the chairs at the table and drank their Coffee's, after five minutes Jackson lifted the now empty mugs and quickly washed them "I better go"

Aaron checked the clock on the wall "It's not even nine yet" he complains with a small frown, he didn't want Jackson to leave yet.

"Sooner I start, the sooner I finish" he tells Aaron, knowing full well Aaron would want him to finish the job as quickly as possible.

Aaron's eyes narrow and he stands up from the table "I should really just not let you leave" he says, unable to keep the smirk off his face.

Jackson lifts one eyebrow and gazes at his boyfriend "Oh yeah?" he asks "How would you do that?"

"I have ways"

Jackson nods his head ever so slightly "I bet you do" he tells him "But I'm going now" he states "See you later yeah?"

"Well, you live with me so yeah; you probably will see me later"

Aaron grins at and watches as Jackson heads towards the door, towards his van. Jackson has just opened the front door when Aaron calls out to him

"Forgetting something?"

Jackson stops, the door halfway open and looks at him "Uh…No?"

Aaron holds up the van keys that Jackson had left on the side and Jackson's eyes widen and his hand automatically goes to his pocket "I'm sure they were in my pocket" he says

"Catch" Aaron throws them at him and Jackson catches them easily "Sure you didn't dip me? Just so you could keep me longer?"

"Can't wait to get rid of you" Aaron tells him "How would I put up with you all day?"

Jackson laughs "You've managed it all these years"

"Yeah" Aaron scoffs "I'll be crazy before I'm thirty"

Jackson laughs and calls out "Love you too" just before closing the front door behind him.

* * *

It's only when Aaron hears the van reverse and drive up the street that he finally starts making an effort to get himself ready for work too.

Twenty minutes later Aaron is showered and dressed and on his way to work, Chuck in tow.

"What you doing ere?" Ryan asks him

Aaron shrugs "Jackson's working. No point sitting at home all day when I could be working"

Ryan's eyes widen "Working, you let him go to work?"

"I can't stop him. Trust me, if I could, I would"

"Thought he agreed to take time off? Gonna have to call Mummy again are you?"

Aaron grins at that "No. He did, he is. He's more doing a favour for someone"

Ryan can't believe what he's hearing because all Aaron has gone on about for weeks was how Jackson wasn't giving up work and how worried he was, now here he was saying that Jackson was working but it wasn't work it was a favour for someone.

"Who?"

Aaron practically snarls as he says "His Dad"

Ryan's mouth forms a small "O" shape but no sound comes out. He just nods in understanding. He didn't know much about Jackson's dad, just bits and pieces but he now understood why Aaron hadn't stopped him or how Aaron couldn't stop him.

"Well, I'm sure I could use your help" Ryan says throwing an oily rag at him "Customers must wait till you're off before they bring the cars in, you know with that winning personality of yours and everything"

"I'm great with the customers" Aaron says defending himself which only earns him a scoff from Ryan.

Twenty minutes after leaving Emmerdale Jackson's van pulls to a stop outside of his Dad's. Killing the engine Jackson sits in the van for a few minutes, collecting himself.

All those years ago, after the accident Jackson had hoped his relationship with his Father would improve and for a while, it did that was until Jerry once again couldn't handle Jackson being Gay and told him he'd have to choose.

Jackson chose and Jerry walked away, that was over five years ago. The day before when Jerry turned up in the village, he had apologised for the way he behaved and told Jackson he missed him and that he could have gotten any builder in or even done it himself but he wanted a chance to spend time with him, get to know him again. Jerry had been on Jackson's mind a lot and he had agreed. He was slightly apprehensive and nervous because he was still Gay and that still wasn't going to change.

Both hands were on the steering wheel and the ring, on his third finger of his left hand caught his attention as the sun bounced off it.

The ring Aaron had given him all those weeks ago. The ring that said he belonged to one person and one person only. The ring that showed anyone that wanted to know that he was in love and one day, one day he would be getting married.

He felt a stab in his chest as a thought ran through his mind. His Dad would see it. He had been wearing it when they talked the day before but it was cold and his hands were stuffed into his jean pockets. He hadn't even thought about it yesterday and if the sun hadn't drawn his attention to it, it wouldn't have entered his mind today either.

Not really thinking it through all that much and acting on instinct Jackson slips the ring off his finger and places it safely in to his jean pocket. He wasn't ashamed of it, of Aaron or of being Gay but his Dad would no doubt notice it and it would cause some sort of friction if not an argument and Jackson didn't want that. Not on the first day anyway.

Locking the van door Jackson made his way down the path towards the front door, he didn't get a chance to knock because it was opened for him, by small, chubby blonde who looked to be in her late forties to early fifties.

Jackson had met Eileen a handful of times before "Jackson" she grins at him "Hi" she opens the door wider "Come in, come in" she ushers him inside and closes the door behind him.

"Alright?" he asks smiling at her. Eileen smiles at him "Yeah, glad you came"

"Told my Dad I would"

Eileen smiles and gestures for Jackson to follow her, he does "I know, but what with everything that happened between the two of you…" she trails off

"You thought I wouldn't turn up?"

Eileen shrugs and pops the kettle on "He'll be so glad you're here though, he's missed you"

Jackson nods at that but doesn't reply verbally, what's he going to say?

"Where is he?" he asks looking around

"Back any minute" she tells him "Just taking Joshua to school"

Joshua was Jackson's half brother whom he had only ever seen twice and that was years ago, the kid wouldn't even know who he was.

Aaron was at work or at least he was trying to work but he found he couldn't concentrate. He was worried. He didn't like Jerry and wouldn't trust him as far as he could throw him. He was a homophobic moron who had hit Jackson in the past. Aaron was aware of the fact Jackson was a fully grown man and could handle himself but Aaron still worried.

Why after all these years had Jerry suddenly shown up? "Damn it!" he swore as he sliced the back of his hand open on a wrench.

"You alright?" Ryan asks coming to his aid.

Aaron nods "Yeah, just being stupid"

Ryan lifts his eyebrows "If you're that worried why don't you go see what's going on?" he suggests because Aaron has been his friend for a long time and he can read him like a book.

"You what?" Aaron asks, pushing past him to run his hand under the tap.

"You're obviously worried about what Jackson's Dad wanted, why don't you go see?"

Aaron shakes his head. It's a good idea but it would only cause an argument between him and Jackson and he didn't want that. He'd just push the thoughts of Jackson and his Dad to the back of his mind. Jackson was a big boy and could look after himself.

* * *

A/N - AS ALWAYS I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT. LIKE IT? HATE IT? WANT MORE? LET ME KNOW! :D


	14. BE14

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

A/N - Thanks to everyone that reviewed the last chapter! Glad you enjoyed it! Here's the next one for you!

_

* * *

_

_There'll never be a minute of the day_  
_I won't think of you_  
_My feelings are so strong in me_  
_I feel it through and through_  
_There'll never be a night that's so dark that we won't shine_  
_Or a dream that we've lost that we can't find_  
_You'll always be, oh the one for me_  
_I think of you from time to time_  
_And in between

* * *

_

It was Jackson's second day helping his Dad out. He had left early on his first day because the supplies that had been ordered by his Dad hadn't been delivered as Jerry got his dates wrong so after prepping and doing all he could Jackson had called it a day and headed back to Emmerdale.

Arriving back in the village the first thing Jackson did was slide his ring out of his pocket and back on his finger where it belonged. Aaron would never know he had taken it off and that's the way Jackson wanted to keep it. Aaron would go mad if he found out.

It was just before 12pm and Jackson didn't have to be at his Dad's place until one because that's when his supplies were being delivered. He was alone in the house. Aaron had gone to work at nine. Jackson knew he wasn't pleased about being back at work when he planned on taking time off to spend time him but Jackson promised to make it up to him and he would, just as soon as he finished at his Dad's. The job he was doing for his Dad would take a week, max, so Aaron could take time off next week.

Jackson was just tidying up the house before heading out, when there was a knock on the door.

It was just 12 and the pub was pretty empty when an older man, in his early fifties walked through the door.

"What can I get for you?" Diane asked him

The older man smiled at her "Nothing, thanks I'm just wondering if you could help me?"

Diane shrugs and nods while saying "I'll do my best"

"I'm looking for Aaron?" he says "Aaron Livesy?"

Diane nods and Mhoira who was standing at her side buts in just as Diane says "He…"

"What do you want with Aaron?" she asks, suspicious because over the years she's actually came to like Aaron, a lot.

"It's personal" he tells her "Does he still live in the village?"

Diane nods "He does" she tells him "He lives on the last house, just down the road, before the garage" Diane tells him and the guy nods "Thanks" he smiles at them before exiting the pub.

"What did you tell him that for?" Mhoira asks and Diane gives her a funny look "What do you mean? He seemed alright?"

"You have no idea what he wanted him for"

Diane tuts "it won't have been anything dodgy, Aaron doesn't do that. Not now anyway"

He finds the house, last one of the road before the garage. He can tell there's a garage as there's a sing that says "MOTs" he knocks on the door, twice and is rewarded with a dog's bark and then a guy calling out "Chuck, quiet"

The door knocked just as Jackson had finished cleaning up and Chuck decided to bark, Jackson was on his way out anyway so grabbed his keys and said "Chuck, quiet" as he pulled open the door.

On the other side of the door stood a man Jackson didn't know but he seemed vaguely familiar "Hi?"

"Hi, I'm looking for Aaron?"

Jackson's eyebrows pull together "And you are?"

"Gordon Livesy, I'm his Dad"

Jackson's eyes widen. He'd never met Aaron's Dad and Aaron had told him a little about him.

"From your reaction I'm guessing you know we don't get on that well"

Jackson nods his head slightly "I just have some news for him" Gordon explains "Is he around?"

Jackson debated whether or not to tell him for a few seconds before finally deciding to tell him because at least then he was giving Aaron the chance. Who knows? Maybe Aaron would want to see him.

"Garage next door" Jackson explains "He owns it, you'll find him there"

Jackson steps out of the house and locks the door behind him as Gordon heads towards the garage "Just…" Jackson says grabbing the older man's attention

"Yeah?" Gordon asks

"Stay at least and arms length from him yeah? Lots of tools in the garage and no way of knowing how happy he's going to be to see you"

Gordon smiles at him, a tight, hard, worried smile and Jackson jumps in his van as Gordon walks up the gravel to the garage.

Jackson isn't sure what to do. Should he stay? See how it works out? Deciding that Aaron was a big boy and that if he wanted to talk he would call him, Jackson pulled out of the drive and took off towards his Dad's.

* * *

Aaron spots someone heading towards the garage and at first, he doesn't recognise him but as he gets closer Aaron realises who it is.

His eyes widen "What the…" he trails off, refusing to believe his own eyes.

Ryan turns around "Who's that?" he asks having never seen the guy before.

Aaron scowls "Gordon Livesy" he says before walking towards him "What the hell do you want?" he demands without even saying "hello" or "hi"

Gordon didn't expect anything else. After all it had been 10 years since he seen his son.

"You've done well for yourself" Gordon tells him and Aaron lifts his eyebrows "What do you want?" he demands "What is it with dead beat Dad's suddenly turning up when no one wants them?" he asks, glaring at his Father

"Excuse me?" Gordon asks but Aaron shakes his head "What the hell do you want?"

"I know we haven't seen eye to eye but could you…" Aaron cuts Gordon off mid sentence "Not seen eye to eye? You threw me out when I was fifteen and I haven't seen you since. I've been great by the way"

"I'm sorry. You were a handful"

Aaron takes a deep breath "What do you want? I've got things to do"

"I came to tell you about your Aunty Sharon"

"What about her?" Aaron asks with a sigh. He hasn't seen or heard from that woman for 10 years

"She's dead" Gordon tells him and Aaron shrugs "And you came here to tell me that? I haven't seen her in ten years either"

"I just thought that maybe it would be a good time for us to get to know each other again. Be a family"

"I've got a family thanks" Aaron says dismissing his idea.

"I want you to come to the funeral. Please?" Aaron ignores his please in favour of his own question and the question was "How did you find me?"

Gordon was taken aback by the question "I uh…asked at the pub" he explains and Aaron groans _he's got someone at the pub to kill _"they told me where you lived and it was your mate that told me where to find you"

Aaron's eyebrows pull together "My mate?"

Gordon nods "Guy that lives with you? Roommate?"

Aaron scoffs "He's not my roommate" he tells his Father, in a matter of fact tone.

"Oh, well…" before Gordon can finish his sentence Aaron cuts him off by saying "He's my boyfriend"

Gordon's mouth drops open and he lets out a nervous laugh "Your what?"

Aaron crosses his arms over his chest and glares at the man he once called Dad "My boyfriend, problem with that?" he asks, well almost dares him to say "yes"

Gordon Livesy shakes his head, what else can he do? It was the last thing he expected to hear from his son but then Aaron was always unpredictable.

"Guess that explains you acting out when you were younger" Gordon says, with a small smile on his face and a shrug of his shoulders.

Aaron throws his hands up in frustration "Why does everyone say that?" he demands to know, taking what could be perceived at a threatening step towards his Father "How I acted when I was younger, had _nothing_ to do with me being gay" he tells him "it was you being crap!" Aaron tells him in no uncertain terms. He's sick of people telling him that it was because he was Gay that he acted out and rebelled when he was younger. It wasn't. It was because that's what he wanted to do, hell, he still did it.

"Aaron…" Gordon attempts to reason with him but Aaron isn't in the mood "do one" Aaron tells him, in a brash, rude tone and turns his back.

Gordon reaches out and grabs Aaron's arm. It stops him. Aaron glances at Gordon's hand then at him "I suggest you take your hand off, _old man_"

Gordon withdrew his hand. He was concerned. Concerned about how much time he had missed, how much of his sons life he had missed out _on. _He'd missed so much and it was no one's fault but his own.

"I'm sorry" Gordon tells him sincerely "I missed a lot. You're happy right?"

Aaron nods his head ever so slightly, acknowledging and answering his Father's question all at the same time.

Gordon allows a faint smile to pass over his lips "Good, that's all I ever wanted for you"

Aaron scowls, he doesn't want a trip down memory lane nor does he want to hear about how sorry his Father is.

"Are you done?" he asks "Cause I've got work to be getting on with"

Gordon nods and takes a step back "Your Aunt Sharon's funeral is on the 15th, I'd love it if you were there"

Aaron shook his head. He wasn't about to go to the funeral of a woman who he hadn't seen in over ten years.

Gordon told him the rest of the funeral details, just in case before retreating away from the garage and back up towards the pub where his car was parked before driving out of the village.

Aaron tried to forget about Gordon and focus on his work but he couldn't. He was too worked up and when he was this worked up there was only one person that could calm him down. Jackson.

"Can you cope without me?" Aaron has asked Ryan to which he had received a roll of the eyes and a scoff of "of course" as his answer and that was all Aaron needed to head to see Jackson.

After quickly finding Jerry's address from some papers Jackson had brought home with him the day before Aaron had jumped into one of the cars, he currently had for sale. They needed to be test driven anyway and sped away from the garage, from Emmerdale and towards Jackson.

* * *

Jackson was just mixing cement in the front garden of his Dad's house when a car pulled to a stop outside. He didn't recognise the car but he recognised the driver, he'd recognise the driver anywhere.

Aaron jumps out the car and his eyes land on Jackson. He feels instantly calmer and a lot better than he did just five minutes ago.

"Hey!" he grins at his boyfriend.

Jackson's eyebrows pull together, it's not that he isn't happy to see him it's just that he's confused as to why he is there.

"Hi" he smiles back, dropping the cement he was mixing and closing the distance between them "What you doing here?"

Aaron drops a quick kiss onto Jackson's waiting lips before shrugging "Thought I'd come visit"

Jackson's eyes narrow "You had a visitor of your own, anything to do with that?"

Aaron frowns "Why'd you tell him where I was?"

"He'd have found you Aaron. The sign at the garage, you know the one with your name on it would have given it away"

Aaron rolls his eyes "Yeah, still"

"What'd he want?"

"Tell me about some Aunt being dead"

"Oh" Jackson's eyes widen and he smiles sympathetically "I'm sorry"

Aaron scoffs "Don't be, not like we were close, hadn't seen her in ten years"

Time passed slowly for them as they stood staring at each other in silence although it wasn't awkward; it rarely was between the two of them. But eventually one of them had to break the silence and it was Aaron.

"Don't mind if I hang around with you? Do you?" he asks his boyfriend "I won't get in the way; I just don't feel like going home"

Looking at his boyfriend Jackson can see he's hiding his feelings, like he usually does but he's came to him because Jackson knows that when Aaron is mixed up, angry or in any of his moods Jackson can bring him out of them.

"Course" he smiles "Sure I can find something for you to do"

Aaron shakes his head quickly, a grin on his lips "I'm good with just watching"

"Bet you are" Jackson says, unable to keep the smirk off his face as he gets back to his cement and Aaron drops down onto the garden wall.

After ten minutes of watching Jackson work Aaron became ever so slightly bored "Where is he then? He'll be so pleased to see me"

Jackson rolls his eyes but doesn't answer and instead he opts to change the subject "Where did _that_ come from?" he says indicating the car that Aaron had rolled up in. It was a sporty two seater that looked faster than it should have been.

Aaron grinned "My new car, do you like it?"

Jackson scoffs "You're not keeping that" he tells him

"I can keep it if I want to" Aaron complains "you're not the boss of me" he adds in a childish tone and sticking out his tongue.

"Are you serious?" Jackson asks with a laugh "the way you drive, you'll be wrapped around a tree before you know it"

Aaron tuts "I'm a great driver" he tells him and Jackson just lifts his eyebrows and shakes his head. Changing the subject back to what he was first talking about Aaron says "Where is he then? I wanna see how happy I make him"

"Are you just here for a fight?"

Aaron was just about to reply to that but was interrupted by Eileen walking out of the house calling to Jackson.

"Jackson do you want a…" she trails off when she notices Aaron "Oh, Hi"

Aaron's mouth turns at the corner, more of a scowl than a smile and he looks at Jackson "That the wife?"

Jackson shoots him a look and says "Yeah"

Aaron faces her and smiles tightly "Are you as homophobic as your Husband?"

"AARON!" Jackson scolds him, throwing an apologetic look in Eileen's direction

"What?" Aaron asks with a shrug, he personally couldn't see a problem with his question.

Eileen smiles at Jackson then looks at Aaron "I don't share my Husbands views, no. Although he's getting better"

Aaron scoffs

"Not that I expect you to believe that, I know what he's been like in the past" she takes a step towards him "You must be Aaron?"

Aaron nods his head "Do you want a Coffee or tea?" she asks being nice "I was just about to ask Jackson"

"Oh yeah cause builders love tea and coffee" Aaron says sarcastically "another stereotype, sure you don't share his views?"

"Aaron" Jackson says throwing him another warning looks before turning to Eileen "Sorry about him" Eileen shakes her "Don't be…Do you want something to drink?"

"Two Coffee's thanks"

Eileen walks back into the house and once she's gone Jackson turns to Aaron "What the hell?" he demands but Aaron being Aaron just shrugs

"Don't Aaron" Jackson says because he knows exactly what Aaron is playing at.

"What the hell are you on about?"

Jackson drops his tools and steps closer "Don't take out whatever you're feeling about your Dad on her" he tells him "It's not her fault"

Aaron's shoulders sag and he smiles sheepishly "Sorry, just…dead beat Dad's why are they turning up now?"

"She's really nice" Jackson tells him. Aaron takes a deep breath "I'll go apologise" he tells his boyfriend "and tell her how I like my Coffee, seen as how you didn't"

Brushing past Jackson Aaron can't help but slap his ass on the way "hey!" Jackson says but he's smiling and Aaron doesn't even respond, instead he heads into the house.

He finds the Kitchen easily as it's at the end of the hall as you walk in. He knocks on the door, to make his presence known as her back was to him.

"Hey" she smiles, a warm friendly smile that has Aaron wondering what the hell she sees in Jerry.

"I uh…" Aaron stutters "Just wanted…" it's like pulling teeth when Aaron is trying to apologise "say sorry for out there. I hate Jerry but I don't know you"

Eileen shakes her head "It's fine, honestly. I understand" Aaron nods "How do you like you're Coffee?"

Aaron fills her in on how he likes his Coffee before turning to leave but her voice stops him "He's trying"

Aaron turns around; his eyebrows pulled together "He's missed him, a lot"

"Yeah well, he knew where to find him"

Eileen nods agreeing with that "He's old fashioned"

Aaron rolls his eyes "You know being Gay isn't a new thing, been around years"

"I know and believe me, I've argued with him about it more than once"

Eileen slips into one of the chairs by the table and motions for Aaron to do the same "do you want a chat?"

"He'll want his Coffee" he says talking about Jackson

"I'm sure he can wait five minutes"

Aaron looks at the woman and at the chair. What could she possibly want to talk to him about? After few seconds of staring he finally slipped into the seat opposite and she handed him his mug of Coffee.

"Jerry just wants to get to know his son, he misses him. He wants Josh to have a relationship with his brother"

Aaron scoffs at that "Really? Is he hoping to use him to make Jackson choose this time?"

"Excuse me?"

"You don't know?" Aaron says with a laugh "he told Jackson years ago to choose between him and me" Aaron smirks "Jerry didn't like Jackson's choice"

"I didn't know that. I knew they fell out but Jerry never said why"

"Now you know and I swear if that guy ever hurts him again, I'll kill him" he tells Eileen "I'm a nut case, sure Jerry told you"

Eileen laughs "Well…that's not what Jerry said"

"No?" Aaron asks "What did Jerry say about me then?"

"Called you Chav"

Aaron scoffs "Original"

"He won't hurt Jackson" Eileen says in a soft voice "you don't have to worry about that"

"He better not or, well, I'll leave it to your imagination"

Eileen knew what Aaron was getting at but she also knew she didn't have to worry. Aaron would only protect Jackson if the need arose and she knew Jerry deeply regretted everything he had done in the past and that he wasn't about to hurt Jackson so Aaron would have no need to hurt Jerry.

"I better give him his Coffee, before he nags" Aaron says as he sits up and grabs the mug of Coffee that was meant for Jackson, taking a sip he says "still warm, he can't complain"

"Thought you'd got lost" Jackson says with a smirk as Aaron heads towards him, two cups in hand

"Haha very funny" Aaron retorts "Here, this'll shut you up for a while at least"

Jackson reaches out to take the mug from Aaron and his hand closes over the top of the mug, his left hand.

Aaron has a smile on his face which hardens when he happens to glace down just as he's handing the mug to Jackson. His hand is empty.

His eyes snap up from Jackson's hand to his eyes. Jackson quickly looks at his hand and mentally kicks himself

"Aaron…" he starts but he's not entirely sure what he's going to say.

Aaron takes a step back and their eyes lock "Where's your ring Jackson?"

* * *

A/N - REVIEWS AS ALWAYS ARE APPRECIATED, WANTED AND WELCOME! THANKS!


	15. BE15

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Sorry about the wait! Enjoy!

* * *

_

Aaron takes a step back and their eyes lock "Where's your ring Jackson?"

Jackson tongue darts out his mouth and licks his lips. His mouth is suddenly dry and there's a lump forming in his throat. He's trying to think up a reason, a good enough reason that won't have Aaron kicking off.

"I…uh took it off" he says

"Yeah" Aaron agrees "I can see that, question is, _why_?" Aaron's hard gaze is so intense, anger, hurt and resentment all bubbling under the surface that Jackson has to look away to collect his thoughts.

"Why take it off Jackson" Aaron pushes for an answer and Jackson knows the longer he takes to tell him the less likely he is to believe the reason he comes up with.

"So it wouldn't get ruined" he tells him "I work with my hands Aaron, I didn't want it falling off or getting ruined with all the cement"

It seemed like a genuine reason to Aaron but Jackson's reaction when he noticed told Aaron all he needed to know. It wasn't the real reason and Jackson was lying to him.

"I thought we agreed, no lying to each other"

"You calling me a liar?" Jackson demands to know, quickly becoming defensive. Aaron nods "Yeah" he tells his boyfriend "I know you, better than anyone and I know when you're lying, your face gives you away"

"Aaron" he retrieves the ring from his pocket "It's right here" he says showing him it "I haven't lost it, it's perfectly fine"

"Put it on then" Aaron says simply and Jackson just looks at him "Put it on Jackson. Unless there's a reason you don't want to"

Jackson looked away, away from Aaron's deep blue eyes. He wasn't ashamed but he was disappointed with himself.

"Can you imagine what you'd say if _I_ was the one that took it off?" Aaron asks because they both know that if Aaron had been the one to take the ring off that Jackson would have gone mad and probably accused him of being ashamed and maybe even left him.

"You would have told me I was ashamed of you, of us and left me, but oh no, you, the one that's so upfront about everything takes off the ring I gave you because of a homophobic moron like Jerry Walsh?"

"I just didn't want any tension or an argument with him" Jackson explains "Not because I'm ashamed, far from it"

"You didn't want an argument?" Aaron says, shaking his head in disbelief "You never should have took this job"

Jackson shrugs "Aaron, I'm sorry, please" he tries to lay his hand on Aaron's arm but Aaron pulls away "Don't" he says, in a cold hard tone "Not a good idea to touch me right now"

Jackson pulls his hand back but he takes a step closer to him, because he's not afraid of him. "Aaron" he says in a pleading voice "I'm sorry"

"Sorry you got caught you mean"

Jackson is quick to shake his and head deny that "No. I'm sorry I did it"

Before Aaron can reply to that however a car pulls into the drive and Aaron recognises the driver. It's Jerry but he's not alone a kid comes out of the car too.

"Don't start on him" Jackson says to Aaron but he's not sure whether or not it's going to have much use. Aaron is hurt and Aaron is angry, not a good combination

"Oh look" Aaron says, his voice dripping with sarcasm "it's my biggest fan"

Jerry glares at him as he closes the door. Joshua coming around the car, Aaron's gaze flicks to him and he smirks "better watch he doesn't get too close, we might turn him gay"

"Aaron" Jackson hisses but Aaron's ignoring him, just like Jackson suspected.

Jerry comes to stop in front of the two men "what are you doing here?" he says to Aaron, an unpleasant look on his face.

"Hi Jackson" Joshua pops up at the side of Jerry and Jackson smiles at him, he doesn't want him to see whatever is about to happen between Aaron and his Dad

"I'm here to see my boyfriend" Aaron tells him with a smirk, his head tilts to the side as he says "problem?"

"Josh, go in!" Jerry says without looking at him, he's too busy glaring at Aaron. Their in each other's faces, neither one willing to back down first.

"But dad…" Joshua complains "Now Josh!" he yells in a raised voice and Joshua reluctantly heads into the house.

"Aaron…leave it" Jackson hisses at him, trying to pull him away but Aaron shrugs him off.

"Josh, Jackson and Jerry?" Aaron scoffs "what is with you and the letter J?"

"Get off my property" Jerry tells him

Aaron laughs in his face and nods in Jackson's general direction "I go, he goes" he smirks and his eyebrows lift "you remember the last time you gave him a choice between the two of us…don't you Jerry?"

Jerry steps back. Aaron's got him and he knows Aaron knows he has him, if Aaron goes then Jackson will go with him and Jerry doesn't want him to go.

"Just stay out of my face" he tells him before turning around and heading inside the house.

* * *

Aaron doesn't move until Jerry is back inside the house. He so wants to deck that man one day and the day can't come soon enough as far as he's concerned.

Aaron turns around to face Jackson. At first, he doesn't say anything. He just stares at his boyfriend, taking him in. He looks worried, anxious even.

"I'm not going to do anything" Aaron finally says "I want to" he admits "I'm pissed that you hid that from him, hid us from him"

"I didn't hide us…I just…"

"Whatever!" Aaron shouts over him "I don't care, you did and you can't undo it"

Jackson's still holding the ring in his hand. He looks at Aaron as he slips the ring back where it belongs, on the finger of his left hand.

"I won't ever come off again" Jackson promises

Aaron scoffs "Until Daddy has a problem with it?"

"Aaron, don't" Jackson pleads "I'm sorry, I can't apologise enough"

Aaron takes a deep breath. To steady himself and calm his nerves, he doesn't want to say what he's about to say but he's more worried about their relationship and Jerry Walsh isn't good for it.

"I don't want to do this but I don't want to lose you"

Jackson's eyebrows pull together, he's unsure of what Aaron's going to say.

"You need to choose" Aaron tells him honestly "me and him are never going to get on and he's never going to be alright with the fact we're a couple or that you're gay"

"You're saying I need to choose between you and him?"

Aaron nods

"Right now?"

Again, Aaron nods "Shouldn't be that hard a choice"

"It's not" Jackson tells him "I'll always choose you, no matter what"

"Then let's go" Aaron takes a step towards him "Leave this job and leave him, please?"

Jackson looks at the house "You know I hate leaving things undone"

"You stay you're choosing him and even if your not, if you stay, it's only going to cause problems between us Jackson"

"I just…" Jackson starts but stops when he sees Joshua heading his way "Hi" he says making eyes at Aaron to shut up.

Joshua is looking at Aaron "Is that your car?"

Aaron grins "Yeah"

"It's not his car" Jackson interrupts "he's just borrowing it"

Joshua's eyes widen as he takes a step towards it "I love cars" he tells them "can I sit in it?"

Aaron shrugs his shoulders and throws the keys at him "not in the drivers seat though, alright?"

Joshua nods and runs towards the car "I wanted to get to know him, that's all"

Aaron nods his head. He knows Jackson better than anyone and he knew that the reason he took this job, really took this job was to get to know his Brother not Jerry because Jackson hated Jerry almost as much as Aaron hated him.

"That means putting up with Jerry" Aaron explains, for once he's keeping calm "we've been happy, happier than we've ever been and I don't want that to change" Aaron tells him honestly.

Jerry appears a few moments later screaming at Josh to get out of the car, which he does, quickly.

"He wasn't doing anything" Aaron says, jumping to the little boys defence. Jerry ignores him "I don't want my son anywhere near you"

"Which one?" Aaron asks "We both know you don't want either of them near me. Such a shame you only have control over one of them, isn't it?"

The way Jerry looks at them makes up Jackson's mind. He looks at them with disgust and something extremely close to hatred. Jackson had enough of that in the past, he's 28 now. Too old to be putting up with it.

He steps in front of Aaron "Oh, Dad" he says in a sickly sweet voice. Jerry looks at him "Did I tell you Aaron and I were getting married?"

Aaron's face bursts into a grin at his boyfriend's words, he looks at Jerry. Who looks like he's about to be sick

"You two can't get married" Jerry tells him and Jackson smiles and nods "Yeah. We can and we are"

"Want an invite Jer?" Aaron asks, throwing an arm around Jackson's shoulders and grinning like an idiot.

Jackson scoffs "You can finish this job yourself. I'm leaving"

Jackson turns around and heads to his van. Aaron moving with him

"If you do this, I'll never speak to you again" Jerry tells his back. Jackson stops and Aaron stops to. They turn around at the same time. Aaron glaring and Jackson with a small sad smile on his face "I think I'll live" he tells his Father honestly "Just try not to screw up with Josh half as much as you did with me, yeah?"

Aaron walks Jackson to the drivers door and closes it for him "You alright?" he checks and Jackson nods "I will be when I get home"

Aaron swallows the lump in his throat and reaches through the window to give Jackson a kiss "I'll follow you"

Jackson kicks the van to life as Aaron jumps into the car. He grins and waves stupidly at Jerry. He hates him but he knows Jackson loves him and he knows he's going home to what will most likely be an upset Jackson.

Aaron can cope, because the only thing Jackson needs is him and luckily he's not going anywhere, ever.

Aaron turns the key in the ignition and follows Jackson's van back to Emmerdale.

* * *

A/N - REVIEWS ARE MUCH APPRECIATED!


	16. BE16

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - I am so sorry! I thought i had uploaded this chapter. Just realised i hadn't. Sorry if you've been waiting on an update. Someone should have reminded me! :) _

_Here you go! Enjoy!

* * *

_

Jackson hadn't heard of or seen his Father since the day he walked away from him and that was almost two weeks ago. It hurt, at first but now he was OK with it. He had his Mum, his friends and he had Aaron there was nothing much more he could ask for really.

He and Aaron were on track and for the first time in a very long time Jackson wasn't worried about them. He had faith that they would make it in the end. They had come through far too much not to, which was why Jackson agreed to take a step back from building. He liked walking and as much as he loved his job he had to say he loved walking and Aaron more. It just took him a little while to realise what he would lose if he continued to work because he had been so focused on not giving up work that he hadn't stopped to consider anything else.

Jackson had tried to get Aaron to go to his Aunt's funeral, on the day of it he practically dragged Aaron from their bed but that was as far as he got him because Aaron has been his stubborn self and said that he wasn't going, end of. All he needed, really needed in his life was him and Paddy. Jackson had asked where his Mother came in there and Aaron said again that the only people he needed in his life were Jackson and Paddy. After that Aaron had kind of dragged him back into the bed and he went along with it. He couldn't say no when it came to Aaron and a bed.

It was December 9th and they had been out for lunch, a long lunch. They arrived home at before 5pm. Aaron stopped dead as he walked through the front door causing Jackson to walk into him "Just stop why don't you" Jackson complains as he pushes his boyfriend in and swings the door closed behind them.

"Oh" he says with a roll of his eyes as he notices what it is that caused Aaron to stop so suddenly.

"Hey guys!" Scarlett appears from the kitchen carrying tinsel and with a huge grin on her face "Do you like it?"

Jackson grins, he's like a big kid. He loves Christmas. Aaron on the other hand well…"How many times have I told you to stop putting them things up?" he barks at her.

Scarlett scrunches her face up in annoyance and says "how many times have I told you that I'm not going to listen?" she walks past him, still in her happy place and into the living room. She hadn't finished decorating yet.

Aaron turns to Jackson and asks "can we kick her out?"

Jackson laughs and gives Aaron a shove towards the kitchen "Every year you complain, get used to it" he nudges him "you know you like it really"

Aaron pulls a face although if he were to be honest he would say that he liked Christmas, recently anyway. Since he had Jackson, Christmas' before were a nightmare, he just doesn't like his house being done up like some sort of grotto because she may have put them up every year but it was left to him and Jackson to take them down again.

"Maybe" he admits with a small smile "only when your there"

Jackson lifts his eyebrows "When am I not?" he questions; he's been with Aaron for every Christmas since they have been together

"Keep it that way" Aaron says planting a kiss on his lips, leaving a bewildered Jackson to watch him walk out of the kitchen and just like every year. After complaining about them, he asks Scarlett if she needs help because he's just nice like that.

Jackson makes himself a quick cup off Coffee and takes into the living room. Dropping down onto the sofa he watches Aaron and Scarlett as they finish off the decorations

"Just going to watch are you?" Aaron questions and Jackson grins at him and lifts his Coffee "I'm drinking this" he says and Aaron scoffs "You can drink it once we're done"

Jackson smirks at him "I like to watch you work" he tells Aaron and Aaron's eyes narrow and he shakes his head.

"Perv" he tells him, good naturedly.

"Just worry when I start perving on other guys" he tells him and Aaron almost growls.

Scarlett rolls her eyes "God!" she exclaims "Do you two want me to go out and leave you alone?"

Both of the boys look at her "Are you offering to move out?" Aaron asks hopefully and Jackson throws a cushion at him while saying "We're good" to Scarlett with an innocent smile.

Scarlett rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Four years, that's how long she had lived with them and in that time she had witnessed a lot of things. Arguments, jealousy and them throwing each other out more than once. It was amusing, most of the time because she knew, no matter what they would always end up back together. It was just how they worked, it was Aaron and Jackson. To her it was kinda like Ant without Dec, it just didn't work and she couldn't see either of them being happy with someone other than each other.

She turns to Aaron and grins "You know you'd miss me if I moved out"

A look of horror passes over Aaron's face at that and looks at Jackson "She's not being serious right?" he asks, bending down to pick up the cushion that had been thrown at him by Jackson.

Aaron threw the cushion at him but it missed Jackson and ended up landing on top of Chuck, who let out a growl of protest

"Sorry boy" Aaron says quickly "was meant for the ugly one on that couch"

Jackson tuts and rolls his eyes "You were planning on throwing it at yourself then?"

In the end Scarlett rolls her eyes and gets back to what she was doing, leaving them to their banter. Their banter and the way they could throw insults at each other was just part of them. It made them who they were and it worked for them, most of the time.

She had finished with the decorations and they were still squabbling "Girls!" she says in a loud voice with a clap of her hands "What do you think?"

"Fantastic" Aaron says sarcastically

"Nice" Jackson replies with a genuine smile.

Aaron throws himself down onto the couch. Chuck is laying inbetween of him and Jackson and Aaron pets him while looking at Scarlett "Now what? Gonna try and convince one of us to dress up as Santa or something"

Scarlett lifts her eyebrows "What you two do in your bedroom is between you, don't try and live out your kinky fantasies with me"

Jackson laughs at that because the look on Aaron's face was pretty funny. He looked like he wanted to kill the girl.

Scarlett laughed "You two coming to the pub?" she asks "There's something going on, karaoke or something"

"Oh yeah!" Aaron jumps up "Sign me up for that, can't wait"

Aaron walks out of the room, calling on Chuck as he goes. Jackson doesn't ask where he's off because he couldn't actually care.

"We might be there" he tells her.

Scarlett nods and walks out of the living room. Jackson switches on the TV and a few seconds later Aaron comes back in, followed by Chuck

"Hey you" he smiles as he sits down beside him "Are we going to the pub?"

Jackson shrugs "Don't know, are we?"

"Not fussed. I'm not going to work tomorrow"

Jackson turns to face him "first I heard"

Aaron smirks "I just decided"

"Why?"

"Well" Aaron explains "It's Friday tomorrow and you said you were going shopping, thought I'd come with you"

Jackson's eyes widen "You hate shopping" he reminds him and Aaron doesn't need to be reminded. He might hate shopping but he loved Jackson

"Yeah" he agrees "but I never go with you, thought I should"

"Awww" Jackson says in a patronising tone "So sweet" he adds, kissing his lover on the lips quickly "thanks" he adds at the end, with a genuine smile that has Aaron forgetting all about the fact that he had been ever so slightly patronising to begin with.

"You're welcome" he tells him. Looking at the TV Aaron asks "What you watching?"

"Nothing, have a look if you want" he offers, handing him the remote. Aaron takes the remote but doesn't change the channel "How about we go to the pub, get something to eat?"

"We're not long back from lunch"

Aaron shrugs "I'm a growing boy, I need grub" he says standing up and extending his hand for Jackson to takes. Jackson slips his hand into Aaron's and allows himself to be pulled up "You're a man Aaron, not a boy"

"I still need food" he informs him "Up for it?"

Jackson nods. It's not like he's got anything else to do.

With Jackson's hand still in his Aaron heads towards their front door "Chuck" he calls out

"We're taking him?"

Aaron nods "Yeah, who's going to say anything?" he asks "I'll just tell them…"

Jackson covers Aaron's mouth with his free hand "I don't need to hear that" he says pressing a quick kiss to his neck while Aaron bites the palm of his hand gently.

"Diane won't care if we take him"

The three of them, Aaron Jackson and Chuck all make the short walk to the pub. Aaron only lets go of Jackson's hand at the pub door and not for any other reason than he needs it to open the door. It's times like these, when he's holding his hand for the world to see that Jackson knows he's made the right choice. No matter how many chances he has given the mechanic they've all been worth it because Aaron loved him and he loved Aaron.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW! I'LL GET WRITING! WELL, TYPING!


	17. BE17

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Hope you enjoy!

* * *

_

It was late, almost 8pm when Aaron had managed to close up the garage. It was the middle of December, the cold was creeping in, well it had crept in and cars were falling apart left, right and centre. It was good for business, just not good for him as it meant long hours. Hours he would rather be spending in the pub, in front of the TV or with Jackson. In fact he'd rather be doing anything rather than be under the bonnet of a car in December.

It was safe to say that Aaron wasn't in the best of moods. He was annoyed that Jackson hadn't come to see him all day, it wasn't like he was working, so why hadn't he? Especially after he hadn't went home for Lunch or at his usual time of just before five.

The only time Aaron had managed to set eyes on Jackson at all that day had been in the morning before he had left for work and the couple of times he had seen him getting in and out of the van. Aaron just wanted a warm shower, with or without company, he wasn't fussed then he wanted to throw himself down onto that big comfy couch of his and not move for a good long while.

However as soon as he opens the back door to his house, he knows his plan isn't going to go according to plan. There's noise. Lot's of noise coming from the living room. Walking out of the kitchen, he stalls by the living room door, listening.

He can hear Jackson, Scarlett and Debbie. He can hear a whole bunch of people. "Great" he mumbles to himself with a sigh, then pushes open the door to the living room.

All eyes are on him, most of them wondering who was coming in and as soon as they seen it was him, they looked away, more interested in what they were originally doing, all but one. Jackson didn't look away; in fact Jackson stood up from his position on the big comfy couch that Aaron wanted to lie on and made his way over to Aaron.

"Hey" he said once he was close enough "where you been?"

Aaron just gives him a look "working" he answers in a flat, almost annoyed tone "Where do you think I've been? It's right out the back, you could have looked out the window"

Jackson shrugs "Yeah, sorry" he smiles "got sidetracked"

Aaron looks over his shoulder at the people in the living room. Mostly Jackson's friends, those friends that even after all this time Aaron would still rather avoid being around them, if he had a choice.

"You didn't tell me we were having a party" he complains and Jackson pulls a face "Didn't plan it, just kinda happened. Don't mind, do you?"

Aaron pulls a face because really, he's too tired to care "Bit late now, isn't it?" he turns to walk out of the room but Jackson follows "Aaron" he says, grabbing his arm and Aaron faces him

"What?"

"What's wrong?" Jackson asks. He had been about to demand to know whether or not Aaron had a problem with his friends being around but looking at him, Jackson could see that he was more tired than anything else. He suddenly felt a little bad.

Aaron shakes his head and kisses his lover "Nothing" he assures him "just cold, tired and hungry, long day"

Jackson nods "Oh, right"

"Just gonna shower" Aaron tells him "Come down after?" he asks and Aaron stops, one foot already on the stairs and nods "Yeah"

"Hurry up!" Jackson says, kissing him before slapping him on the backside. Aaron shakes his head "Kinda pointless asking if you wanted to help me scrub my back, isn't it?"

Jackson frowns "Yes.." he says "I have company to entertain, god how I wish I didn't"

Aaron merely grins as he starts heading up the stairs "Your loss"

Fifteen minutes later when Aaron comes back downstairs, dressed in trackie bottoms, a short sleeved top and trainers. He stops just before the living room door. He could hear them, having a good time. He could hear Jackson's friends. Most of them were alright but it was camp ones that got on his nerves and those were the ones he could currently hear. He had two options, go in and be with Jackson and his mates or go to the pub and relax with a pint.

Decision made Aaron turned to the coat hooks by the door, not finding his coat or Jacket he pulled on Jackson's instead and headed out.

Jackson was in the living room. He was waiting on Aaron coming back down from the shower, he hadn't seen him all day and just wanted to, he needed to see him. Stealing a glance at the clock in between trying to listen to one of Sol's stories, he noticed it was almost nine. Aaron should have been out the shower and downstairs by now.

Climbing over the mass of bodies in the room he made his way upstairs. The bathroom door was open, so he wasn't in there. Sticking his head into the bedroom, he found that Aaron wasn't in there either.

Jackson concluded that Aaron had left the house and headed elsewhere, more than likely the pub. Jackson sighs; he knows why Aaron has left the house. He didn't want to put up with the camp-ness that is Sol. He can't blame him really, Sol gets on his nerves from time to time but he still could have told him. Gave him a kiss or something but no, that didn't happen.

Putting Aaron to the back of his mind, at least until he comes back from the pub, whenever that might be.

The pub is quiet, it's a Tuesday and ten days till Christmas. Aaron figures people probably have better things to do, save money, wrap present, he's not sure but they probably have better things to do than be in the pub on a Tuesday night. He could think of better things to do too, but unfortunately for him his boyfriend had other ideas.

Victoria comes through from the back of the pub "Where's my invite to the party as yours then?" she asks, leaning over the bar.

Aaron gives her a look "Go around, I'm good here"

"Not in the partying mood then?" she asks, pulling him another pint and getting herself a drink.

"Not really" he tells her "knackered, just wanted to sleep but Jackson invited people around"

"Surprised you didn't throw them out"

Aaron laughs at that. It does sound like something he would do. "Want company or are you going to wallow in your own self pity?"

Aaron lifts his pint up "I'm sitting over there" he points at an empty booth "you can join me in you want"

* * *

It was Thursday afternoon before Aaron finally managed to get some alone time with Jackson because when he had gotten home on the Tuesday night he had gone straight to bed then was up early working the next day and Jackson was helping out a friend.

Aaron was only working till lunch time, which is why at 1pm. Aaron was walking through the back door of the house and kicking off his boots.

"Jackson?" he calls out, wondering where he is.

"Up here" he hears him calling and Aaron starts up the stairs. Sticking his head in the bedroom Aaron finds that Jackson isn't in there "Where are ya?"

"Bathroom, in the bath" Jackson replies.

Aaron smiles to himself. _Perfect _he thinks and by the time he opens the bathroom door, he's naked.

Jackson turns around to face him when he hears the door open and his eyes widen ever so slightly "you're naked"

Aaron's eyebrows lift and he says "No shit Sherlock, you catch on quick" he moves closer to the bath "shove up then"

With an amused expression on his face Jackson slides down the bath a little so Aaron can join him. Aaron slips into the bath behind him and Jackson settles back against him "how long have you been in here then?" he asks, as the bath was still rather hot.

"Not long" Jackson says "If you'd told me this morning that you were coming home early I would have waited on you"

Aaron's hands find their way around his waist, to slide up Jackson's chest, rubbing in small circles as they go, rubbing the bubble bath Jackson insists on using everytime he has a bath, into his skin.

"Mmmm" Jackson moans, his head falling back into the crook between Aaron's neck and shoulder "Been a while since we did this"

"Yeah" Aaron says softly, he's distracted by Jackson's hands. Which are currently on his thighs and moving higher by the second.

"Hey, none of that" Aaron says in a warning tone "who's going to stop me?" he asks, turning his neck so he can look into Aaron's big blue eyes.

Looking into his eyes Aaron is lost; all he can see is how much this man loves him and how much he loves him in return. "I love you" Aaron finds himself saying and Jackson smiles at him, surprised at his admission because those three words are three words Aaron rarely says.

"I love you too" he tells him, sealing his declaration with a simple kiss.

When they pull apart, their foreheads stay touching and small smiles are on each of their faces.

Jackson decides that now is as good a time as any to give him the news he had been keeping from him for the past few days. It concerned his Mother and the fact she was coming for Christmas. She always came to them for Christmas but this time she was coming a week earlier than she usually would.

"Mum's coming tomorrow" Jackson says and to his surprise Aaron merely nods and says "Ok"

"You alright with that?" he questions and Aaron merely nods. Hazel coming sooner than expected could be a good thing, especially if Jackson agrees to what he is about to ask.

"Marry me?" Aaron finds himself asking, sooner than he had planned thanks to Jackson's admission about Hazel.

Jackson holds up his hand and Aaron's, showing the matching rings "You've already asked me that, remember?"

Aaron lets out a small laugh "I mean properly, actually marry me" he tells him "the whole thing"

Jackson's eyebrows pull together and he looks at Aaron and is confused, shocked and surprised. When Aaron had given him the ring, Jackson never expected that Aaron would want to get married. It just wasn't an Aaron thing to do.

"Aaron…" he sits forward, turning around, as best he can, in the confines of the bath "Do you know what you're saying?"

"Of course I do!" he exclaims "I'm not stupid. I want you and I want everyone to know that"

"I think people know already"

Aaron shrugs "Saying you don't want to marry me?"

Jackson tuts and rolls his eyes "You know I do, but I'm happy either way. As long as I'm with you"

Aaron kisses him again, shutting him up for a few minutes and allowing the two of them to come to terms with things and think through what had just been proposed "We could do it before Christmas" Aaron says when they part, foreheads touching "It's not like it has to be a big thing, just me and you, some friends and family"

"Thought about this a lot?"

"A bit" Aaron admits, he's thought about it off and on ever since he has asked him to marry him "What do you say?"

"Yeah, yeah" before he can say anything else Aaron is kissing him again and he's not for stopping, not until it is completely necessary.

"I was thinking before Christmas" he admits "If we can find somewhere, what do you say?"

Jackson shakes his head and laughs. This is not the same Aaron he fell in love with. The Aaron he fell in love with would never have wanted anything like this. But Jackson knows that a lot has happened to them over the years, things that have changed them as people as well as changing their relationship. Things that have changed them both for the better and instead of telling him how he felt about getting married before Christmas. Jackson showed him.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	18. BE18

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - ENJOY!_

* * *

It was Wednesday the 22nd of December and one day before Aaron and Jackson were due to stand in a room full of friends and family and declare their love for each other.

They had been lucky. There had been a cancellation at a registry office in town for 1pm on the 23rd of December. Aaron had been the one to call up and ask and without consulting Jackson first he took it. To say Jackson was shocked that in just five days he would be getting married was an understatement. He never thought they would manage to pull it off before Christmas but it looked like they were going to manage it.

Most people were shocked when they had been invited, which had been on the Monday. Not a lot of people though, about 30 were coming to the registry office and a few more to the party afterwards, which just happened to be getting held in Home Farm. Thanks to Declan and Jackson's close relationship, Declan gave them Home Farm when he found out.

It was just before six and Aaron and Jackson had decided not to do as tradition told them and stay apart the night before and they decided against stag parties. They didn't need them, they were spending the night together or at least, that was what they planned.

A banging on the front door disturbed them and Chuck. Jackson was slumped against the couch "you get it" he says pushing on Aaron's arm, trying to push him up "I'm too comfy to move"

"Oh and I'm not?" Aaron asks even although he's already standing up. Jackson ignores him and closes his eyes as his heads settles back against the couch.

Chuck follows Aaron to the door and sits at the side while he opens it. Opening the door Aaron's eyes widen "what the…" he trails off looking at all the faces, currently staring back at him "what's going on?"

"Stag do mate!" Adam tells him with a grin "didn't think we were going to let you two get away without having one, did ya?"

Aaron laughs and shakes his head "Not happening" he tells him "we're not going anywhere, now or later" Jackson, hearing all the commotion walks through from the living room and comes to a stand still behind Aaron's back. Placing his hand on Aaron's hip he glances over his shoulder to see about 20 guys standing outside his front door. "What's going on" he asks, directing his question at no one in particular. Aaron looks back at him "These idiots think they're taking us out"

Jackson's eyes widen at that "We already said, night in"

Adam is standing at the front of the guys and shakes his head "Nope, not happening guys, sorry" he tells them with a fake smile.

Sol, who was either feeling very brave or very stupid, Aaron wasn't very sure, launched forward and tried to grab hold of Jackson. Aaron being Aaron pushed himself in front of Jackson more than he already was and pushed Sol back, sending him into a few of the guys "try that again and I'll smack you in the mouth" he tells him with a smirk.

"Aaron!" Jackson hisses but Aaron doesn't look at him "Guys, Adam" Aaron says facing his best mate "you're wasting your time"

Adam sighs "Come on!" he whines "stop being boring, its what meant to happen. You're meant to get wasted before you get married and its bad luck to see each other before the big day"

Aaron rolls his eyes "we'll take our chances" he says, trying to shut the door but finding he couldn't because of Adam's foot and hand "Adam" Aaron says "Move it yeah?" but Adam isn't being moved "You two are coming" he ignores Aaron and focuses on Jackson "Look all your mates are here, they want to help you celebrate, we all do but we're keeping you apart tonight, whether you like or not"

Adam pushes the door and this time Aaron lets it open, he steps in and Chuck lets out a small growl as a pile of men walk into the house "It's alright Chuck" Jackson reassures him, running a hand through his fur "calm down"

"Come in why don't you" Aaron replies sarcastically, with his lip curls up in contempt "i'm not happy about this, i'm telling them to go" he tells Jackson but Jackson pulls a face "Why don't we just go?" he asks him "they're not about to give in and who knows, it could be fun"

Aaron shrugs, he wasn't against the idea of going out and partying with his friends, he just wanted to be with Jackson tonight "we can still end up back here, together for the morning"

"Yeah?" Aaron asks and Jackson nods, kissing him quickly "alright" Aaron relents just as Adam and Joe come walking out of the living room "Do we have to drag you kicking and screaming?" Joe asks, looking between the two of them but Jackson shakes his head "No, we're coming. Now"

Adam grins, pushing his way inbetween the two of them he throws his arm over their shoulders "Good choice guys!" he exclaims "now i might be nice in my best man speech" Aaron snarls at him "You say anything in that speech and i'll kill you" he warns him "Yeah, yeah" Adam says, ignoring him "grab your stuff, we're going out!" he tells him "Taxi's will be here in ten minutes" Joe tells them "So do whatever it is you two need to do in that time then its time to leave each other until tomorrow morning"

"Oh no!" Aaron says quickly "we're coming back here"

Joe shakes his head "Nope, we're the best men, we decide, you" he says nodding at Aaron "are staying at Paddy's with Adam and Jackson is staying here with me"

Aaron didn't like that plan and he had no intention of going along with it but to save an argument he nods, he can deal with it later "we better go change then, huh?" he says, looking at himself. He had on a pair of trackies and a top.

He grabbed Jackson's hand and pulled him up the stairs "No funny business!" Adam calls up after them, laughing to himself "you don't have time"

"You've obviously never had sex with Aaron" Jackson mutters as he follows Aaron up the stairs "Shut up" Aaron demands quickly. Jackson just grins and kisses the back of his neck.

They've just finished getting changed when they hear what can only be a taxi horn beeping outside. "Can we change our mind again?" Aaron asks looking at Jackson but Jackson shakes his head "Don't think they'll let us" he tells him, stepping closer and slipping his arms around Aaron's neck, Aaron's arms find their way around Jackson's waist, their lips brushing.

"I had a plan for tonight" Aaron tells him and Jackson grins wickedly "don't get too drunk and save it for later, they can't keep us apart all night"

"Can't wait" Aaron admits, lowering his lips to Jackson's once more. The kiss quickly grows passionate and intense and its about to quickly progress from something more than just a "see you later" kiss when the bedroom door bursts open and in walks Joe and Adam.

However, they don't pull apart and it takes Adam pulling Aaron away to break them apart "Hey!" Aaron complains "i was busy"

"Yeah i noticed" Adam says rolling his eyes "plenty of time for that tomorrow"

"You're a Pratt" Aaron spits as he's bodily pushed down the stairs and he can hear Joe doing the same thing to Jackson "get him in the car" Adam says, pushing Aaron into Ryan and Andy's arms "before he changes his mind"

Aaron allows himself to be pushed out of the door by Ryan and Andy, then bodily bundled into the back of a taxi. The same thing happens to Jackson and the two of them secretly hope that at some point during the evening, they end up at the same club.

* * *

Aaron was dragged to some club in town and shots were being lined up for him, it would be rude to say no, so he didn't. He couldn't help but wonder if the guys that had taken him out felt a little cheated because well, there would be no stripper at his stag night, would there? Which then got him thinking. Most of the guys with Jackson were Gay and Aaron was pretty sure there was such a things as Gay male strippers. Would they have hired one? Would Jackson want one? The mere thought of it turned Aaron's stomach, not the stripper himself, although that did turn his stomach a little. No, it was the thought of Jackson being excited by someone who wasn't him. He didn't like that idea, at all.

Feeling anger and jealousy bubbling just under the surface as his thoughts Aaron grabs two shots in front of him and downs both of them as quick as possible "Pint" he says to the barmaid behind the bar. She smiles at him and laughs "stag night is it?"

Aaron nods "that obvious?" he asks and she laughs "rowdy guys but still sensible enough to not be causing trouble, yeah usually what we get, especially on a Wednesday nights"

"Good guess" Aaron says, accepting the pint and telling her to put it on the tab Adam had started up "So" she asks, leaning casually over the bar "Who's the groom?"

Aaron smirks at her "Who do you think?"

The barmaid tilts her head to the side and scans the guys in the room "well..." she says after a few minutes "no idea could be anyone of you, although, you don't look too pleased, so chances of it being you are slim, right?"

Aaron shakes his head "'fraid not" he tells her "it's me, i wasn't in the mood for this until that lot decided to drag me out"

She laughs and flicks her hair over her shoulder, a small disappointed smile passes over her features. She's good looking and Aaron knows that if it was a few years ago, while he was still telling himself he was straight, he would have been chatting her up by now. "When do you get married?"

"Tomorrow" Aaron says and he's waiting on her saying something about the bride, it's bound to happen, sooner or later. He kind of likes the looks on peoples faces when he says he's marrying a man. It's amusing to him.

Before the barmaid can say anything else to him though Adam comes back over from his stint on the dancefloor, where he had been dancing with some red headed girl. "Hey, you look like your having fun" he says sarcastically and Aaron rolls his eyes "i didn't want to be here, remember?" Adam rolls his eyes "Well you're here now and drinking the drink we bought you so you have to at least look like you're enjoying yourself"

"Yeah, yeah" Aaron agrees.

Adam looks at the barmaid "not trying to chat him up were you?" he asks and Aaron sighs, he knows where Adam is going because Adam thinks he's funny.

The barmaid shakes her head "He's getting married he told me" she informs him and Adam grins at both her and Aaron "Yeah and you know...you're not his type"

The barmaid's eyebrows pull together, she's confused "excuse me?"

Before Adam can have the pleasure of telling her Aaron declares "I'm Gay"

The barmaids mouth forms and "O" shape but no actual words or sounds come out "Sorry to disappoint" Adam says with a smirk which has Aaron punching him in the arm "You're a dick"

Adam laughs, rubbing his arm "It's just so funny, seeing their faces"

"Glad i amuse you"

Adam tuts, just as Ryan comes back to the bar followed by Paddy and Marlon "You going to have that face on you all night?" Paddy asks, dropping his hand down onto the mechanic's shoulder. Aaron smiles at the man that is, in every sense of the word his Dad, just minus the genes, which Aaron is thankful for.

Aaron sighs and shakes his head "No" he tells him "I'll cheer up or get plastered, one of them will happen"

Meanwhile on the otherside of town. Jackson wasn't having as bad a time as Aaron, he was actually enjoying himself with his friends and is glad they pulled him out. He missed Aaron and still hoped he would see him at some point that night but he was enjoying being with his friends. It had been a long time since he had been with them all and would probably be an equally long time before he was with them again.

"Can't believe you and him are getting married" one of his mates says to him, dropping down on to seat next to him. Guy, was one of his mates that had been against him being with Aaron way back when, told him he would regret it. Jackson laughs "Yeah, well. Neither do i" he admits "Who would have thought me and the nutcase would work out?"

Guy laughs, he had called Aaron a nut case on more than once occasion and he still did because Aaron still was a nutcase, he was just a little more tame these days, thanks to Jackson.

"You love him?" Guy asks and Jackson lifts his eyebrows, giving Guy a look. He shakes his head and laughs at his own stupid question "Yeah, stupid question" he admits "he loves you, you have to blind not to see it" he throws his arm over Jackson's shoulders "glad you didn't listen to me" he pulls him up "now lets get you a lot more drink"

By 10pm Aaron had managed to drag his friends to a Gay bar, not that they needed much encouragement, they all tended to have more fun in the Gay clubs than Aaron. It just happened to be the exact same club that Jackson was in. It was coincidence or so Aaron hoped they would believe, it had nothing to do with the fact he had called Jackson and asked what club he was in, nothing at all to do with that.

Aaron told them they were going to a Gay club because, he was Gay and that's where he wanted to go. He didn't like using the Gay card but he would, if it would get him his own way. They walked in and Aaron scanned the room, hoping Jackson and his friends hadn't left before they turned up. Ryan found Jackson before Aaron did "Oh" he says pushing him down the steps "i see your game" he tells him "You wanted to come here cause Jackson's here"

Aaron tries to stay indifferent and act as if he wasn't already aware of this "He is?" he grins "small world"

Ryan just rolls his eyes "You can buy the next round, just for that"

Aaron scoffs, there was no way in hell he was buying everyone a drink "You lot are taking me out, i'm not paying for anything" he steps away from the bar "going to the bog" he informs them"I can see what Jackson sees in you" says Ryan and Aaron just glares at him before heading in the direction of the toilets.

Aaron is glad to get away from them because it means he can get closer to Jackson and it seems as if no one has noticed them yet. He's happy about that because it means he can sneak up unnoticed by Jackson who is currently on the dancefloor.

Aaron hates dancing which is why he's about to just pull Jackson off of the dance floor. He's lost in the scrum of people on the dancefloor and he's having to shove people out his way to get through them because Jackson is at the far end. It takes him a few minutes but he's finally within touching distance. He was about to call out his name, get his attention that way when he decides against it. He has a better idea.

Aaron walks towards him, Jackson has his back to him which is just the way Aaron wants it and before he can turn around Aaron is slipping his arms around Jackson's waist and pressing himself up against his back.

Jackson was dancing with a couple of people he knew, people who weren't originally out with him when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a pair of arms encircled his waist and what he could only guess was another body pressed up against his back.

He froze, just for second. Who the hell could be wrapping their arms around him. Just before he can pull away and have a go at whoever it is, a familiar pair of lips brush over his ear and whisper "miss me?"

Jackson's whole body immediately relaxes, he knows who it is. The only person on the planet who would even think about doing something like that to him in the middle of a club. He turns to face him, ignoring the two girls and the guy he had been talking to and dancing with.

"Wondered why you wanted to know where i was"

Aaron shrugs casually "yeah, well" he says but doesn't elaborate, instead he kisses him. They pull apart a few seconds later "What was that for?" Jackson asks

"Do i need a reason these days?" he asks with a laugh, his hands slipping up the back of Jackson's top, causing Jackson's eyes to widen "You're drunk" he tells him and Aaron shakes his head, denying the accusation "I'm not" he tells him "I'm halfway there, not quite" he pokes him in the lower back and says "so are you"

Jackson nods at this and says "Yeah, but at least i'm not groping you in the middle of a dance floor"

Aaron pulls a face "got a problem with me touching you now?"

"Oh shut up!" Jackson tells him, with a roll of his eyes. He pulls away and grabs hold of Aaron's hand "lets get off the dance floor, Mr I don't dance not even after our wedding"

"Damn right" Aaron agrees, following Jackson off the dance floor. Once they're off Aaron pulls away, Jackson looks at him, confused for a minute until Aaron says "going to the bog"

* * *

In the end they all stayed in the same club. It was easier and OK, it defeated the point of a stag night but still, they got them out, got them drunk and they were still planning on keeping them apart until they met at the registry office the next day.

Victoria turned up about forty five minutes after they arrived at the club "What are you doing here?" Aaron questions when he spots her, heading towards him "Nice to see you too" she tells him, taking off her Jacket and laying it beside the others on the chair "buy a girl a drink huh?"

Aaron rolls his eyes and does as she asks, it's the first drink he's bought all night, except that one for Jackson about ten minutes ago but that doesn't count, it was for Jackson.

"So what are you doing here?" he asks once he gets back to the table. "Where's mine?" Adam asks and Aaron just scoffs "Am i not allowed to come to by best friends stag do?" she asks with a laugh as she takes a sip of her drink.

Aaron sighs, given up asking "whatever" he says before diving away from the table.

Victoria quickly makes herself comfortable and drags Jackson up to dance with her, he goes willingly. Aaron is standing at the bar, he can't believe how much of a good time he was having. Did it beat his plans for the evening? The first part anyway but not the second part of the plan he had for the evening, this kinda screwed it up.

"Aaron...Aaron" It's Paddy, he's drunk and barely able to stand up. Aaron's eyes widen "how many you had?" Aaron asks, steadying the older man "I'm so proud of you" Paddy says, which has Aaron ducking his head in embarrassment, he shakes his head "Paddy..."

"Don't Paddy me!" Paddy exclaims, stumbling into him "You've grown up so much, just wish you were mine" he says, tears threatening to fall. Aaron smiles a genuine smile at the older man "I am" he tells him and Paddy looks as if he's going to cry which tells Aaron it is time to get the older man home. He sits him down, safely by a table then heads to find Jackson, or Adam, anyone really.

He finds Adam "I think we ought to call it a night" he tells his best mate "Paddy's wrecked, Marlon's almost as wrecked as him and it's after one, i have a wedding to get to you know!"

Adam looks at his watch and agrees, its still early but they could head back to Paddy's and carrying on there "Ok, i'll tell the guys" he says to him and Aaron nods "Just going to get Jackson"

Before Aaron can take more than two steps though Adam has grabbed hold of his arm "Not so fast" he tells the mechanic "You're staying at Paddy's tonight, remember? Leave him"

Aaron shrugs out of Adam's grasp "Yeah, alright" he agrees with a roll of his eyes "But i'm still telling him i'm off"

Aaron finds himself once again on the dance floor only this time it isn't as crowded as it was before not that he could care, he would just push people out his way again. Jackson and Victoria are dancing to a slow song together and Aaron rolls his eyes, that girl is just mad.

"Do you mind?" he asks, stopping at the side of them but looking at Victoria, she grins "Aaron!" she exclaims throwing her arms around his neck "We we're just talking about you"

"You're coming home with me" he tells her "how many have you had?" he asks, she had only been with them for less than two hours but she was wasted "but Aaron, i thought you were Gay" she says, then has a little laugh to herself.

"Go to Adam" he tells her "He'll make sure you're alright till i get there" she scrunches her face up but then stumbles in Adam's direction. Jackson watches her, he watches as she grabs hold of Adam's arm from behind and how Adam's face softens when he notices its her. He'd had his suspicions for a while but they had just been confirmed.

"I'm just about to..." Aaron is cut off by Jackson who says "they're seeing each other" Aaron looks in the direction that he is looking and sees who he is talking about "them two? No, he would have told me"

Jackson looks at him "I'm telling you, and you know i'm never wrong"

Aaron looks back at Victoria and Adam, they do seem rather close but both of them are rather drunk. "I'm heading home" he tells him, remembering why he had sought him out in the first place.

"Back to ours?" Jackson asks, closing the distance between them and slipping his arms around the younger man's waist. "No" he says with a frown "they're keeping us apart tonight. Morons"

"You must want to because Aaron Livesy doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do, remember?"

"True" Aaron admits "what harm can it do eh?" he asks with a shrug "pretty sure you'll still turn up"

"I'll give it some thought"

"Aaron. Taxi" Adam yells from the front of the club and Aaron waves at him "I'm off" he tells Jackson and he nods "Yeah, i'll probably be going home soon too"

"You better be" Aaron tells him "Don't want you drunk tomorrow, i'll kill you"

Jackson rolls his eyes "I can handle my drink much better than you"

"Haha" Aaron laughs "Yeah, right"

"Shut up" Jackson pulls him into him, their lips crashing together. The kiss is full of pent up sexual frustration that's going to have to wait at least eighteen hours to be satisfied.

"That's enough you two" It's Sol and Aaron refrains from growling at the guy as he pulls Jackson away from him.

Aaron walks out of the club, with Adam, Victoria and all of his friends. Leaving Jackson with his. Aaron doesn't want to leave him, he wants to be with him because he knows the next time he sees him he's going to be nervous as hell. He was nervous, it was a big step but he was also happy and excited.

He had less than 12 hours until they would be in the registry office and nothing could go wrong, right?

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	19. BE19

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters not do not belong to me they belong to ITV_

_A/N - HOPE YOU LIKE!

* * *

_

Thursday 23rd December, it's just after 8:30 am in the morning and Aaron is just opening his eyes.

"Oh god" he groans throwing his hand over his eyes, as he struggles to open them.

"Get up, sleeping beauty" he hears Adam call out as the door to the bedroom is opened and a towel is thrown at him.

Aaron doesn't say anything, he just throws the towel away from him and rolls over onto his stomach and hides his face in the pillow. As he begins to come around, he begins to realise where he is. He sits up and looks around "What am I doing at Paddy's?" he asks, confused a little "Where's Jackson?"

Adam laughs "You must have put it away" he steps further in the room "Can't even remember you're meant to be getting married today"

Aaron looks at his best friend, his head tilting to the side as he takes in what's being said to him "Oh" he says, in a quiet voice before a grin spreads over his face "So I am!" he pushes the duvet from his body and stands up.

"Better get on with it then" he says, slapping Adam on the chest as he walks past. Adam laughs and follows him out.

Just down the road at Dale Head cottage it's a similar kind of story, although Jackson is in a far worse state than Aaron

"Come on!" Sol says jumping about in what Jackson thinks is a far too good a mood for this time in the morning "You're getting married today"

Jackson lifts his head up and looks at his mates "So I am" he says, looking at the clock he says "Not till one" his head falls back down "I can get at least another hours sleep"

However that wasn't going to happen and the next thing Jackson knew he was being lifted off the sofa because he didn't make it to bed, by Joe, Sol and Steven "Time to make yourself look pretty for lover boy" they tease him. The next thing Jackson knows he is being pushed into the bathroom and the door closed behind him.

He braces himself on the sink, looking in the mirror. He had gotten home long after 3 in the morning. He felt like hell and he looked like it. How the hell was he going to manage to pull himself together before he had to be at the registry office? He had no idea.

It's just after 11:00 and Aaron is standing in what was once his room in Smithy tying his tie, or at least trying to.

"Damn it!" he curses out loud while banging against the wall. Paddy who had been coming out of the bathroom, sticks his head into the room "Everything alright?"

Aaron sighs and looks at him through the mirror "Yeah" he says, frowning "just this stupid tie"

Paddy bundles into the room "Want a hand?"

Aaron pulls that face of his and nods. Paddy shakes his head and squeezes in between Aaron and the mirror.

Aaron stares at him as he fiddles with his tie and Paddy notices he seems a little off "What's up?" he asks, the man that is like a son to him.

"What am I doing Paddy?" he asks with a sigh.

Paddy's confused "What do you mean?"

Aaron gestures around him "This, today, here, what am I doing?"

"Getting married" Paddy says, a small smile playing on his lips "Exactly!" Aaron snaps "Getting married, who does that?"

Paddy licks his lips. Aaron is obviously nervous and is quite clearly allowing his nerves to get the better of him.

"People who love each other"

Aaron scoffs at that "Bet they're over there telling him how he can do so much better than me" he steps back, pulling away from Paddy who's trying to fix his tie "They can't stand me. Anyone of them bet they've been on at him all night, telling him to leave me"

"Don't be daft" Paddy insists. This is Jackson they're talking about and Jackson is so clearly in love with Aaron. Even a blind person could see it, and she could, just ask Lizzie.

"I'm not being daft" he says falling onto the bed, holding his head in his hand Aaron says "Why would he want me Paddy?" he looks up at Paddy but Paddy doesn't say anything, he can't think of anything and Aaron continues.

"I'm bad tempered. I fly off the handle at anything. I'm a mess, why the hell would anyone want to spend the rest of their lives with me?"

"You'll have to ask Jackson" Paddy says "And I'm sure he'll tell you, at the registry office later, in his vows"

Aaron takes a deep breath and he gets this look that worries Paddy "I'm not going" he says, with a look in his eye that Paddy can't quite decipher.

"Not going where?" he asks

"To the registry office" he tells him "I'm not getting married"

Paddy can't quite believe what he is hearing "Aaron you're just nervous, come on" he tries to joke but Aaron just shakes his head.

"I'm not nervous. I'm serious. I'm not turning up at the registry office just for him not to turn up and I make a fool out of myself"

"He'll be there. Of course he will" Paddy tries to tell him

Aaron shakes his head "He won't want to marry me. Joe and Sol would have convinced him he could do better" Aaron insisted.

It's just before twelve and Aaron is still insisting that he isn't going anywhere. He's staying put. Jackson isn't getting to make a fool out of him.

"What are we going to do?" Adam asks, as he comes down the stairs from what must have been his hundredth time of trying to convince Aaron he was just nervous.

Paddy shakes his head "I'll give him a foot up the backside, that'll show him" Rhona says, already making her way towards the stairs when Paddy pulls her back "Don't think you'll help"

Rhona pulls a face "Maybe not but Jackson loves him. He needs to stop being an idiot" she tells the other two men and they couldn't agree more.

Adam takes a deep breath "Nowt else for it" he says "I'll need to get Jackson"

Paddy shakes his head, he doesn't want Jackson to know this "Who is going to get through to him?" Adam asks "If you can't and I can't, there's only one other person who has a shot"

Five minutes later Jackson is opening the door to Aaron's old bedroom and closing it behind him. Aaron is on the other side of the bed, head in his hands. "Adam, Paddy whoever it is I've told you…"

"Maybe you should tell me" Jackson says, cutting him off and for a moment Aaron is frozen, he doesn't move.

Jackson makes his way around the bed and sits on the windowsill, looking at the man he is about to marry in an hours time.

"Jackson…" Aaron starts but he has no idea what he's going to say so he shuts up.

"Adam" Jackson says "Comes over, tells me your throwing a hissy fit and saying you don't want to get married"

"I didn't say that" Aaron says defending himself "I said you wouldn't want to marry me, so I'm not turning up just to look like an idiot"

"Why wouldn't i?"

"Why would you?" Aaron retorts.

Jackson sighs. He takes a few steps forward until he's in front of the younger man then kneels down.

"Cause I love you?" he offers "or how about cause you asked me?"

Aaron shrugs "Bet your mates were telling you how much better you could do"

Jackson doesn't tell him that they hadn't said anything like that. They had just told him they hoped he was happy and that they were sorry about the grief they had given him over Aaron because he clearly loved him.

"When have I ever listened to them, huh?" he asks, taking Aaron's hands in his own "if I was going to listen to them it would have been all those years ago when they were telling me not go there with you"

"Should have listened" Aaron tells him

"Yeah, maybe" he agrees "but I didn't and I'm glad I didn't"

They sit there staring at each other. Aaron getting lost in the depths of Jackson's big brown eyes. He loves him. He wants to marry him and he knows he's just allowing his nerves and insecurities get the better of him. Jackson would never not turn up, not without telling him first anyway.

"If you don't want to get married Aaron, just say" Jackson finally says

"Would I lose you if I didn't?" he asks and Jackson shakes his head "You'll never lose me" he tells him "I never expected you to want to get married. I'm happy just being with you"

Aaron scoffs

"What?" Jackson asks.

"Just admit you don't want to do it" Aaron says and Jackson is shaking his head "I want to marry you Aaron" Jackson tells him "anytime anywhere, it doesn't have to be today"

Aaron looks at the floor shaking his head, he looks back up and says "No one expected us to get this far"

Jackson nods agreeing with him

"They all thought I'd leave you, after the accident"

Jackson just sits there, allowing him to say whatever it is he feels he has to say.

"And they were right, I did"

"Aaron it was for about six weeks because I pushed you away"

"I let you" Aaron reminds him "cause I wanted a way out"

"You came back" Jackson says, he pushes himself up so he's eye level with Aaron and his hands cup his face "That's in the past, who cares what people think? Not you"

"I'm sorry" he admits

"Do you want a way out now? Is that what this is about?" Jackson says the words and as he does he feels his chest tighten and feels his heart getting ready to shatter.

"No!" Aaron says quickly and in an adamant voice "last thing I want, I never want an out" he takes one of Jackson's hands in his own "You and me mate, that's the way it's meant to be"

Jackson laughs "yeah but we don't have to get married for that to be the case"

Just then there's a knock at the door, it's Adam "What's happening?" he asks bluntly "are you two doing this thing or what cause we need to leave, its half past and the cars just turned up"

Aaron takes a deep breath and looks Jackson straight in the eye "what do you think? Still wanna do this?"

"Do you?" he checks. He's up for it, he'll always be up for it but he's more concerned about what Aaron wants.

With his hands on his thighs Aaron pushes himself up, so he's standing and grabs hold of Jackson's hand "Of course" he grins "never said I didn't" he winks at both Adam and Jackson.

Adam laughs out loud and Jackson shakes his head "Did you just throw a tantrum so you could see your boyfriend before you got to the registry office Aaron?" Adam says in a patronising voice.

"Shut up you" he warns "Or you'll no longer be my best man!"

"Ha!" Adam laughs "No one else would take the job" he tells him "well apart from Jackson but he couldn't do it"

"Shut up and get down the stairs" Aaron tells him "We'll be down in a minute"

"Don't make me come back up here" he warns them "Five minutes" he calls out as he pulls the bedroom door closed behind him.

When he's gone Aaron turns back to Jackson. "Sure you wanna do this?" he asks his lover, giving him one last chance to back out. Jackson just rolls his eyes and says "Shut up"

Aaron dips his head and laughs, a blush creeping over his face "You're amazing you know that?" Aaron asks "Putting him up with me and my baggage"

"You've put up with me too" Jackson reminds him "We're a team, that's how it works"

Aaron nods "Come on" Jackson presses a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth "we gotta move"

Ten minutes later they're in separate cars with their friends and family on the way to the registry office to start their new life together or at least to start another chapter of their current life together.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	20. BE20

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - ENJOY!

* * *

_

Aaron thought that the hardest thing he would ever have to do was write his own vows. It had been his idea after all because he felt like he had to thank Jackson, in his own way for putting up with him. Writing them wasn't the hardest thing he ever did though, as he was finding out as he tried to say them. To him, to Jackson, to the man he wanted and was about to marry.

"Jackson" Aaron says with a shaky breath, as he tries to control his emotions. A small smile tugging at his lips, Jackson smiles back at him, waiting to here what he's prepared.

"_I could stand here and tell you how much I love you but I'm pretty sure you already know that so instead I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for putting up with me"_ he tells him, laughing a little as he tries to get the words out.

"_I know I'm complicated, jealous and have a temper. Sometimes I'm too out outspoken for my own flipping good. I take you for granted more often than I should. I pretend to be tougher than I am at times, just so no one can take advantage of me and I can certainly hold a grudge. But I know who I am and that's because of you and loving me is probably the hardest thing you've ever done and I want to say thank you for loving me but I think I've said more than enough and should shut up but before I do I just want to say thanks for coming into my life and deciding you never want to leave" _

When he finishes he's smiling shyly and his head is dipped, avoiding eye contact. After a few seconds of silence Aaron finally looked up and was caught up in the emotion that was shining from Jackson's eyes.

"How am I meant to follow that?" Jackson asks a grin plastered on his face. Aaron shrugs "You who I can never get to shut up?" he asks "You'll find a way"

A few of the guests laugh and Jackson shakes his head.

"_We've been through a lot, everyone knows that"_ he starts "_Our relationship has never followed the rules and we certainly have never been or never will be a fairytale couple. It seems like we're either head over heels in love or crazy with frustration and fighting. We're not perfect, I'm pretty close"_ he jokes with a grin _"But neither is this relationship but you know what?"_ he asks and Aaron is just listening to him, a smile tugging on his lips _"It's ours. Just ours, the little jokes that only we understand, the way our hands naturally find each others and those memories that when we look back now seem so perfect. Our relationship will never be perfect but it will always be an important part of me. I don't know what's in store for us, or where we might end up in ten years time but I know I want you in my life. I know that I love you and I know that I'd rather be "real" with you than "fairytale" with anyone else"_

By the time he had finished his hand was in Aaron's, holding onto each other tightly, smiles on both their faces and tears threatening to spill from their eyes.

It took another ten minutes, which included the exchanging of rings and a few more words of the registrar before it became official.

Sealing their union with a kiss as instructed by the registrar, Aaron didn't wait, nor did he care who was watching. Aaron cupped the back of Jackson's neck, pulling him into his body, their lips finding the others instantly.

It was a soft simple kiss that lasted barely a minute and when they pulled apart they were awarded with cheers and claps from all around. "You should kiss me in public more often" Jackson jokes "if that's the reaction we'll get"

Aaron laughs and nudges his shoulder against Jackson's "Shut up" he says affectionately

It's 7pm and the party has been going on for most of the day, ever since half past two really. They had a meal with some close friends and family and then headed to Home Farm for their after party. It was in fully swing.

Aaron had a beer bottle in his hand as he stood up against the marquee that Declan had erected in the garden leading from the house, to allow them more room to move, dance and just do whatever they wanted to do. It was crowded and Aaron was sure every person he had ever spoken to or seen in his life had turned up, family and friends of Jackson's that he had never met too. It was amazing and Aaron was happier than he had ever been in his life. Ever.

Aaron spotted Adam bouncing past him, he reached out, grabbing his arm "Hey!" he says pulling him closer.

"What?" Adam complains "I'm busy"

Aaron looks at where Adam was heading, there was a blonde that Aaron didn't know standing, obviously waiting on Adam. Aaron smirks "Victoria will eat you alive" he tells him

Adam's eyes widen "You what?" he asks,

"I'm your best mate, you can't hide anything from me" Aaron tells him "it was obvious"

Adam scoffs "It's a little bit of fun. Nothing serious"

Aaron shrugs it off, he didn't want to talk about Adam and Victoria "Have you seen Jackson?" he asks because he hadn't seen him for a while.

"You're the one that married him" Adam tells him "How am I meant to you know where he is?"

Aaron shakes his head and releases his hold on Adam's arm "Thanks" he says sarcastically "great help you were"

Aaron weaves through the crowds of people. Occasionally being stopped by one person or another, for a chat, a hug or some form of contact. He went along with it. Trying to stay in his happy place but he just wanted Jackson.

After fifteen minutes of searching Aaron finally found him. He was standing with a group of people. His suit jacket was off which meant he just had his trousers and shirt on. The shirt was hanging over the trousers and from where he was Aaron could see a few of the buttons on the front the shirt were open exposing Jackson's well defined chest. Aaron licked his lips as he felt his heart rate increase. God he loved that guy.

Aaron wasn't sure but it seemed to take him forever to close the gap between himself and Jackson. It seemed as if he was moving in slow motion because he just didn't seem to be getting closer.

When he was close enough and when Jackson finally noticed him "Hey where have you…" Jackson didn't get to finish his sentence because Aaron interrupted him by slamming their lips together, his tongue diving into Jackson's mouth as quickly as it could.

Aaron's hands slipped up the back of his shirt, to draw circles on Jackson's skin. Jackson moaned into the kiss, his body pressing against Aaron's just a little more. With every ounce of will power he had Jackson pulled back, breaking their kiss.

Aaron's hands were still inside his shirt; on his back and Jackson wasn't about to pull away from that, as quick as he had done the kiss. "What's up?" he asks, softly, his eyes growing concerned but Aaron shakes his head "Just hadn't seen you for a while" he explains "Thought I'd come find you"

"You found me" Jackson tells him and Aaron nods.

The DJ plays a slow song and Aaron isn't much of a dancer. In fact he hates dancing but this was his wedding. He was standing with the one person in the world that got him in ways no one else would ever or could ever and he wanted to dance with him. It would probably be an awful experience, for the both of them due to the fact that Aaron couldn't dance but he had to try.

"Dance with me?" he asks on a breath, quickly and watches as Jackson's eyes widen just a fraction more than they had been and his tongue darts out. Aaron forces himself to focus on the fact he had just asked Jackson to dance with him and not what he would rather that tongue be doing.

"Are you serious?" Jackson asks, scared to say yes incase he was joking but one look into Aaron's deep blue eyes told him he wasn't joking.

"Meant to dance when you get married, right?" Aaron's hand slips into his as he pulls a willing but in shock Jackson behind him "Be right back" Jackson calls out to the group he had just been talking to, who Aaron had pulled him away from. Not that he was complaining or anything.

"Yeah but it's _you_"

* * *

_oooh baby...oooohh yeah…ooooh baby_

Aaron lead him onto the dance floor, through the crowds of couples and people who had just joined together to dance until he found a spot he was happy with. He's not entirely sure what he's meant to do now but going on instinct he wraps his arms around Jackson's waist as Jackson steps into him, his arms going around his neck

_Nothing ever gonna change the way I feel. _

They share a tender smile, their foreheads touching.

"Never thought I'd see the day that Aaron Livesy danced with me without being half cut"

"Yeah well, never gonna happen again. Take it while you can"

_No one ever gonna turn my head again now baby._

"Don't I always?" Jackson retorts.

_Ever since the day I laid my eyes on you._

_I knew in my heart this time that love was real._

_You were the one for me that finally set me free._

They stand wrapped in each others arms gently swaying to the music. Back and forth while looking deep into the others eyes, exchanging the briefest of kisses.

Aaron had no clue who sang the song or what the song was called but somehow the lyrics seemed to strike a cord with him. They seemed to describe how he felt exactly.

_I'm going to give you my world. _

_I can give you everything…and I'm loving you next to me__  
__I'm loving you endlessly__, __loving you is easy._

After another short and sweet kiss Jackson says "I liked what you said, you know, your vows"

"So you should" he is told "I sat up ages writing them"

"You? But you're so good with words"

Aaron smirks "I have better uses for my mouth I'll have you know"

Jackson closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath "don't remind me" he tells him "at least not until we're home"

_Cause I'm loving you forever__  
__Loving you hopelessly__  
__Loving your kisses sweet__  
__Loving, loving me, cause I'm loving you forever_

They can feel eyes on them. They're not stupid. They know they're being watched and Jackson couldn't actually care less but he knows that Aaron probably could and he doesn't want anything to spoil this moment.

His hand finds its way under Aaron's suit jacket and shirt to touch the bare skin of his back "aren't you hot in all of this?"

"I will be if you don't stop that" he tells him as Jackson's hand slips under the waist band of the suit trousers he has on. Unseen and hidden by the suit jacket, to anyone looking it would just look as if his hand was on Aaron's back. Not that it was any of their business Aaron was after all his husband and he could touch him anywhere and anytime he wanted.

"Sorry" he says in a tone that tells Aaron that in no uncertain terms is he sorry, far from it in fact.

"How soon do you think we can leave?" Aaron wants to know because he just wants to go home.

_S__unset slow on a painted sky, holding you in my arms as we watch the world go by._

_Its funny how life just flows when I'm with you._

_Make love with me baby, under a silver moon__we'll be as one you'll see our souls were both for free and my heart is yours...i will give you everything._

After a few more moments of enjoying the slow and tender movements of their bodies rubbing up against each other Jackson answers

"Soon I hope"

"God I wish we'd decided to go away"

"It's Christmas Aaron" Jackson reminds him. Always the sensible one "Yeah and we've just got married" Aaron reminds him "We're meant to go away somewhere and not come out of the bedroom and until its time to come home"

"We can do that in our own home, until Christmas day then we will have to go out or they'll come and get us"

"Are you forgetting hurricane Hazel is living with us until after the New Year"

A huge smile appears on Jackson's face "She'll be no bother" he assures him "trust me"

"Oh I do" he assures him with a kiss "but your mother loves to wind me up"

"You married me"

"You" Aaron states "not her. She'll be leaving soon" he tells him "plus your Mother isn't have as bad as my lot. You got the worst package"

Jackson shakes his head, disagreeing "I got you" he tells him and Aaron rolls his eyes at how soppy he is "True. I am perfect" Aaron finds himself agreeing before they descend into silence once more. Gently swaying to the music.

_ I'm loving you next to me, loving you endlessly, loving you is easy, cause I'm loving you forever, loving you hopelessly ,loving your kisses sweet, loving you, loving me, cause I'm loving you forever._

The song was ending and Aaron felt Jackson's lips trailing over his jaw line until they finally reached his lips.

They continued their embrace, lost in each other. Not caring about anyone around them as they were focused solely on each other.

_Here I am. I'm the happiest man alive it's all because of you. _

_And ill always be there be there by your side._

Eventually when the song ends, they don't pull apart right away and a new song starts, only its faster but they still don't move.

Their kiss ends and they stand still, foreheads touching, arms wrapped around each other with smiles on their faces

"We have to get out of here" Aaron tells him and Jackson nods, agreeing. They do have to get out of there otherwise things could quickly turn X-rated because he was sure he hadn't wanted Aaron as much as he currently did, ever.

_Loving you...loving you forever!_

Jackson took the lead and pulled Aaron off the dance floor, making their way past people that tried to stop them, tried to chat but Jackson had something else on his mind "Should we tell anyone?" Jackson asks, once they're outside the marquee.

Aaron bites his lip and looks at the house, Declan's house "Maybe we don't have to go home?" Aaron says nodding in the direction of the house.

Jackson gets what he's meaning immediately "Aaron!" he says with a laugh "We couldn't…could we?"

Aaron grabs his hand "Declan's half wasted anyway in there" he nods at the marquee "What's to stop us? That way once we're done we can rejoin the party. Our party"

Jackson takes a deep breath "Come on then!" he says grabbing Aaron's hand and pulling him inside the house.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	21. BE21

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

* * *

"You don't have to do this" Jackson says as he watches Scarlett pack up her stuff. She turns around and smiles at him "I know" she tells him honestly "but you're married now, you need space"

Jackson and Aaron had been married for just over three weeks. It was great but not much had changed. They were still the same two people, nothing changed except they were married now. Which meant their relationship was a little bit more solid than it had been. People knew now that they wanted and loved each other and despite all of their fights they wanted things to work out between them.

Jackson rolls his eyes "We're still the same two people, nothing's changed. We don't need space" he tells her. He doesn't want her to leave because she feels she has to because she doesn't.

He's leaning against the door frame of her bedroom. She hadn't even said anything about planning to move out, just dropped it on him less than half an hour ago.

"I've lived here for over four years about time I moved on" she tells him "not going far though" she promised "we can still have a drink and stuff I just won't be under your feet"

Jackson sighs "You're not under my feet. We barely ever see each other. Don't move out just cause we got married"

Scarlett turns to him and just as she's about to say something they both hear the front door being opened then "Jackson?" Aaron's voice

"Up here" Jackson tells him and then they hear his footsteps as he climbs the stairs.

"What you doing?" Aaron asks as he walks towards him, he stands behind him, looking into the room. He notices her packing and his eyes light up "You leaving us?" he asks, trying to keep the smile off of his face.

She turns to him and smirks "gonna miss me Aaron?"

"Like you wouldn't believe" he tells her.

She shakes her head "see" she says to Jackson "someone is happy about me leaving"

Aaron looks at Jackson and frowns "yeah but he's a moron"

Scarlett laughs at that and Aaron pretends to be offended "Cheers for that" he says sarcastically "and here I was coming to take _you_ to lunch on _my_ lunch hour"

Jackson makes a _'Pfft'_ noise before saying "You must want something" before Aaron can reply Jackson is once again looking and talking to Scarlett "are you sure about this?"

Scarlett nods "Yep. Time to move on, I'm moving in with Katie and that lot. It should be fun"

"Saying we're not fun?" Aaron asks and she smirks at him once more "You? You're lucky if you can spell the word. Jackson on the other hand? Tons of fun"

Aaron grunts "Glad you're off" he tells her with a smile "hurry up now. Need help with the carrying?"

Scarlett shakes her head "No, thanks. Jackson's helping"

Aaron snorts "it was his help I was offering. I've got better things to do" he tells her "like washing my hair"

She practically snarls at him and Jackson elbows him in the ribs "Hey!" he complains pushing him "are you coming for lunch or what?"

Jackson shakes his head "Gonna help out here"

"Fine" Aaron says "don't say I didn't ask you" he kisses him on the lips quickly "see you later"

It's just after six and Aaron is in the pub. He hadn't gone home because well, Jackson could still have been busy with Scarlett moving and he didn't want to get roped into helping. He couldn't be bothered so he was having a pint of two before calling Jackson and seeing what he was up to.

He was in his own little world which is why he didn't notice Jackson walk into the pub or sit opposite him. It wasn't until Jackson clicked his fingers in front of his face that he realised he was there "hey" he says "when'd you get here?" he asks, his eyebrows pulling together showing his confusion.

"Couple seconds ago" he explains "you were staring into space. What were you thinking about?" Jackson questions but Aaron shrugs "No idea" he tells him and it's the truth.

"Nice of you to invite me along"

Aaron pulls a face "I invited you earlier, you chose to stay with Scarlett"

Jackson rolls his eyes "That was then"

Aaron shrugs "She gone now? We got our house to ourselves?"

Jackson nods "Yep. It'll be quiet with just us and Chuck" he says pulling a face.

"Can't wait" Aaron admits with a grin. His head tilts to the side as his eyes scan Jackson's body for the first time since he'd noticed him. He was dressed up, too dressed up just for the pub.

"Going somewhere?"

"Yeah" Jackson says "Stag do? Remember? You were invited?"

"Oh, yeah" Aaron scrunches up his face "Not going"

"Guessed"

"It's for the best" he explains "Cause that guy is just way too camp and I'd end up punching him"

Jackson nods at that and replies "yeah. I won't be there long. Show face, have a drink. Come home"

"I might be awake. You never know"

Jackson stands up and leans over the table, kissing him quickly. He pulls back and looks down at the pint on the table "many you had?"

"Why?"

"Thought you could give me a lift?" he says, his eyes sparking and a grin on his face. Aaron looks at his pint. It's half full and it was also his first one. He pulls a face "Fine" he agrees "I'll give you a lift but you have to replace that pint" Jackson nods and pulls a fiver out of his pocket. He hands it to Diane "that's for him" he nods at Aaron "for a pint when he gets back"

"Alright" she says smiling and also a little confused

"Get out the door you" Aaron says as he shoves Jackson towards the exit.

* * *

When Aaron gets back from town he parks the car at the garage, in the same spot it had been in then made his way back to the pub. Only this time Adam and Victoria were there, Aaron and Jackson were still the only two people that knew they were seeing each other.

"Aaron!" Adam called out as he spotted him "joining us?"

Aaron looked over at his two best friends and grinned. If he couldn't spend the evening with Jackson then they were the only other two people he could think of spending it with.

"Buy me a drink then" Aaron says as he shuffles in beside them "Adam" Victoria says, nodding at the bar.

With a heavy sigh Adam stands up and heads towards the bar "whipped" Aaron says with a cough which causes Adam to laugh and say "says you"

Aaron's eyebrows pull together "what's that mean?" he asks but Adam just shakes his head. Aaron looks at Victoria "what did that mean"

She laughed and slapped her hand down onto his thigh "he's winding you up" she tells him.

As the night goes on Aaron is getting a little tipsier with each hour that past "So Scarlett moved out?" Adam asked

Aaron nods "she did" he confirms "Jackson tried to get her to stay" he scrunches his face up "sometimes that guy is way too nice"

Adam laughs "He has to be. He put up with you"

Aaron grins "He does that for other reasons"

Adam almost chokes on his beer and smirks "keep it to yourself pal, I don't wanna know"

Aaron nods "will do" he tells him. He lifts up his pint and says "but if I have many more, I probably won't"

Victoria returns from the toilets and sits herself down on Aaron's knee "So…" she says with a coy smile and wraps her arms around his neck. Aaron has had too much to drink to care about the fact she was wrapped around him "Scarlett moving out means you're looking for a new housemate, right?"

Aaron dips his head and smiles "Not really. Why?" he asks even although he knows what she is getting at.

"Well" she starts "you know that I live with Diane…I love her and everything but I can't do what I want when I want. She's old"

"Right"

"And her and Doug are extremely annoying" she adds.

Aaron sighs and slides her off his knee and onto the chair beside him "We just got rid of Scarlett"

Victoria smirks "but you love me and you hate Scarlett"

"Fine" he agrees "you can move in"

"YAY!" she exclaims wrapping her arms around his neck "Don't you have to ask Jackson?"

Aaron shakes his head "He'll not mind" he tells her "he didn't want Scarlett to move out"

"When can I move in?" she asks excitedly

"Give it a few days, yeah?" he asks her "Give us time to have the house to ourselves"

It was half ten and the pub was due to close in an hour but still Victoria, Adam and Aaron were going nowhere. They were there until the pub closed.

"We should do this more often" Adam manages to slur out. Victoria nods agreeing and Aaron laughs "Like we don't already? We spend half our life in this pub"

The door to the pub opens and Aaron just looks over, casually to see who would be coming into the pub an hour before closing. His eyes light up when he sees who it is though. It's Jackson.

"Hey!" he says standing up and almost knocking the glasses off of the table in his haste to stand up.

"He- Hey!" Jackson says, grabbing hold of Aaron's arm to keep him upright "been here all night?"

Aaron puts a hand on Jackson shoulder to steady himself "yeah…nowt else to do" he shrugs "what you…why are you back?"

"Got boring" he informs him "said I had work in the morning"

"Haha" Aaron says sarcastically "you can't stand that camp twat either"

"Hey!" Jackson says pushing him but then he had to quickly grab him to stop him falling over "I'm too drunk to be pushed"

"I see that"

"Jackson!" Adam says, finally noticing the older man "want a drink?"

Jackson shakes his head and politely declines he looks at Aaron "I'm going home, you coming or staying?"

Aaron looks at his friends then looks at Jackson. He takes a step closer to Jackson so that they're almost touching "What do I get if I go home with you?"

"Safely" Jackson rolls his eyes "I'm not drunk"

Aaron's face scrunches up and he says "is that it?"

Over the past eight years or so Jackson has come to realise that when Aaron is drunk. He loses all of his inhibitions and would quite happily go at it with Jackson no matter where he was. It's amusing.

"What more do you want?"

"Well…"

"Take it home you two yeah? It's sickening you two all lovey-dovey at each other. Makes me feel sick"

"Aww!" Jackson says in a patronising voice "I'm sure Victoria will make you feel better"

Victoria glares at him then says "Not gonna happen. I'm going to bed. My bed. Alone"

"Good plan" Jackson tells her "I'll end up in mine alone too. He'll be up being sick half the night"

"No I won't!" Aaron says "I can handle my drink"

"Sure you can" he says grabbing him and his jacket "we're going"

They both say their goodbyes as they exit the pub Aaron using Jackson to keep him up. "I love you, you know that right?" Aaron asks while trying to attack Jackson's lips with his own.

Jackson avoids him and says "I noticed"

"Good"

Jackson has just managed to close the front door when Aaron has him pinned up against it. Suddenly a lot more coherent than he had been moments before "Hey"

"Hi" Jackson smiles back just before his lips meet Aaron's.

For the first time since they moved into that house, they didn't make to the bedroom for quite some time. In fact they didn't make it past the bottom of the steps for quite some time until it became uncomfortable and they fumbled their way upstairs. Still wrapped around each other, neither of them wanting to let go. They wanted each other far too much for that. They always did.

It was midday when Jackson was woken up by a constant banging on the front door. He heard Aaron groan at the side of him and then an arm was flung over his stomach "ignore it" Aaron mumbles pressing a kiss to his shoulder "They'll get bored and go away"

Jackson tried to ignore it. It fact he had been trying for about ten minutes but whoever it was, just wasn't giving up and he was wide awake now.

Jackson ran his cold hand down Aaron's warm back, watching Goosebumps appear as he did. Aaron shuffled about under his hand, trying to get him off "that's cold"

"That's the point" Jackson replies. The door was tapped on again and Jackson sighed "I'm gonna go see who that is. Maybe kill them"

He has just managed to push the duvet from his body and get one leg out of the covers when Aaron grabs hold of his arm "ignore it" he suggests "we can pick up where we left off last night"

As tempted as he was by that request he turned it down after looking at the clock for the first time since he had woken up "It's after twelve Aaron" he runs his hand over his head "time to get up" he presses a quick kiss to his forehead before pulling on a pair of jeans and heading to answer the front door.

As soon as he opened the door a huge box was thrust into his arms followed by an "it's about time. God what were you two up to that made you sleep this long huh?" It's Victoria "as if I need to ask!"

Jackson is confused and his confusion increases as she pulls a couple more bags into the house "Uh…Vic? What's going on?"

She looks at his confused face and rolls her eyes "He didn't tell you? Typical!"

"Aaron? Tell me what?"

"I'm moving in"

Jackson's mouth drops open and he yells up the stairs for Aaron to come down, "what?"

"Get down here" Jackson calls out "Now"

"Alright, alright" he hears Aaron mumble then hears his footsteps crossing the floor.

"When was this decided?" Jackson asks as he places the box he was holding onto the ground "Last night"

Aaron comes downstairs and his eyes widen as he spots Victoria and her boxes. He looks at Jackson "What's…?"

"Victoria is moving in" Jackson says and Victoria looks between them, a smile on her face "Surely you remember Aaron"

Aaron nods. He can remember, vaguely anyway "I think I said a couple of days"

Victoria nods "You did but Diane and Doug were driving me insane. I didn't think you'd mind" she suddenly stops then turns to face them "You don't, do you?"

Aaron looks at Jackson who just shrugs. He doesn't mind but it would have been nice to have been told "I don't mind"

"No, we're good" Aaron tells her and she nods "Great" she grins. She eyes Aaron's attire and he's currently only wearing boxers "don't let me disturb you. I've got this" she assures them and Aaron winks at her.

"So much better than Scarlett already" he says as he comes down a few more steps and grabs hold of Jackson's hand. He tugs on it and makes eyes at him, telling him to come with him. Jackson slips his hand into Aaron and allows himself to be pulled up the stairs.

Victoria just rolls her eyes and smiles, she could handle unpacking on her own and she was going to rope Adam into helping. She heard a door slam closed and couldn't help but laugh. She was looking forward to living with them, it should be fun.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? HATE IT? LOVE IT? LET ME KNOW AND I'LL WORK ON THE NEXT ONE!


	22. BE22

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - I was struggling with where to take this story but don't fear! It has set my imagination alight once more! :D

* * *

_

It was just after 11am on a Tuesday morning and Victoria had lived at Dale Head with Jackson and Aaron for just over a week, which meant they had been married for almost five weeks, not that it mattered how long they had been married because it didn't change anything.

In her short time living with them Victoria had been witness to more than one argument. She even found herself asking Scarlett if it was normal to which Scarlett replied _"Oh yeah". _At first Victoria felt a little awkward. She had been privy to arguments between them before but never in their house, well her house. She was used to them now, she ignored them. She wondered how long it had taken Scarlett to ignore their arguments. She ignored them but it didn't mean she didn't listen to them, they were often funny and over the most stupid of things you could think of. Such as walking the dog, where the car or van was parked and who was making dinner.

She was in the kitchen reading a paper and eating toast when Aaron came walking in. He was dressed up, well dressed up for him on a Tuesday morning. With a wolf whistle and a smirk Victoria says "Where you off? Seeing someone on the side?"

Aaron just gives her a look as he pours himself a coffee

"He catches you cheating he won't be happy" she mumbles with a smirk still on her face. Aaron turns around, settling himself back against the kitchen counter with a coffee mug in hand "what are you rattling on about now?"

"You" she states "all dressed up"

Aaron looks down at himself and his eyebrows lift. He wouldn't call himself overly dressed up, he had a dark pair of jeans on, a white shirt and shoes but he wasn't that dressed up.

"Where you going? Court date?"

Aaron can't help but laugh at her; he's enjoyed having her live with them. He likes having Victoria around far more than he liked having Scarlett around. Victoria was more his kind of people, just like Adam.

"We're going out for something to eat"

Her face lights up "me and you?" she exclaims feigning excitement.

"No" he tells her "Me and Jackson"

"Oh" she says, this time feigning disappointment "What's the occasion?" she asks.

Aaron shrugs "We didn't get out on my Birthday last week, so we're going out today" he shrugs "Jackson's idea"

"Don't get to excited you might pull something" Jackson's voice says from behind them. They turn around at the same time to look at him "where'd you come from?" Victoria asks and Jackson walks closer to Aaron lifting the coffee mug from his hand and taking a long gulp "you can't make coffee" he tells him and Aaron screws his face up. He lifts the mug back "don't drink it then"

Jackson smirks "I came from walking the dog" he tells them and Aaron's eyebrows lift "where is he then?"

Jackson looks around, feigning panic and shock "I've lost him! Crap!" he says which earns him a glare from Aaron before he laughs and says "He wanted to spend the day at the garage. Ryan's got him; he'll let him in later"

Aaron tips the remainder of his coffee down the drain, wipes his hand on a towel then asks "we going then?"

Jackson looks at his watch. It's only half past eleven and their reservation isn't until twelve thirty. They didn't have to go yet "We don't have to be there for an hour"

"Who's driving?" Aaron asks

"You mean you want me to drive so you can drink?"

Aaron shrugs. He wasn't fussed either way "that isn't what I said"

"It's what you meant"

"I think I know what I meant and I didn't say that, did i?" Aaron snaps.

"Get out of bed on the wrong side this morning?"

"Same side I always get out of. You should know. You're on the other side" Aaron reminds him

Victoria slips off her chair and walks out of the kitchen. If they were going to argue she didn't want to be around but before she can get out the door Aaron's arm flicks out stopping her "no need to run away because of us" he tells her "we're not going to argue"

Victoria turns around and lifts her eyebrows "no?" she asks hopefully and they both nod "good!" she sighs in relief "cause that is scary" she widens her eyes for dramatic effect.

Jackson's hand runs over Aaron's head, as if he's ruffling his hair even although he has none and says "we're just playing" he grins "aren't we baby?"

"Don't call me that" Aaron bites and Jackson laughs, he knew that would be the response. Aaron hates pet names. Jackson doesn't like them all that much either. Unless he's in the mood to wind Aaron up, then, then he'll use them often.

Aaron grabs his car keys off the hook by the door "ready to go?" he asks "you never know, might take us fifty minutes to get there"

Jackson nods and follows him out, after saying their goodbyes to Victoria Aaron hops in the driver's seat. It doesn't matter who drives to the restaurant, either of them could drive back, they were both insured for the car.

They pulled into the car park of the restaurant. After getting stuck behind an accident they arrived at just before twelve thirty "told you we wouldn't be too early" Aaron says as they make their way inside.

Jackson rolls his eyes "If there hadn't been a crash we would have been here ages ago"

"But there was" Aaron says as his argument. Jackson just shakes his head. It was lunch time and there were a few people in front of them waiting to be seated. They stood in line, waiting on their turn to be seated.

While waiting in the line Aaron couldn't help but look twice at one of the waiters. He was six foot tall and extremely good looking. In fact he didn't only look twice; he took a good long hard look. Jackson scoffing pulls Aaron's attention away from the waiter and back onto Jackson "What?" he asks at the look he's getting.

"Just eye up other guys while I'm standing here"

Aaron rolls his eyes "I wasn't!" he says. Jackson just pulls a face "I was looking around the place, never been here before"

"Yeah right"

Aaron's eyes narrow "Shut up" he says poking him in the side "why would I look at anyone else when I've got you? Right here in front of me?"

"Exactly what I thought" Jackson tells him, they're moving up the line as they bicker about whether or not Aaron was looking at a waiter "I wouldn't" Aaron says "so shut up"

"You so were" Jackson retorts "you just got caught"

"Like you don't eye up other guys"

Jackson laughs "maybe, just never get caught" he admits which earns him another poke in the ribs from Aaron.

Their banter or spat whatever you want to call it is interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Both pairs of eyes turn, it's the maître.

Jackson grins at him "Walsh" he says "table for two?"

The maitre smiles at them, his eyes lingering on Jackson a little longer than Aaron liked before he said "right this way please"

Aaron follows Jackson who is following the maitre. He seats them at their table and tells then a waiter will be along shortly again his eyes linger on Jackson longer than Aaron likes. He grunts, causing Jackson to look at him, a confused expression on his face "what's wrong?"

"Him!" Aaron nods in the guys direction "Did you see that way he was looking at you?" he asks but Jackson shakes his head "what does he think I am? Your brother?"

Jackson smiles "Calm down" he says "I didn't even notice"

"He better not do it again" Aaron says and Jackson pulls out a menu reading it while he rolls his eyes. Aaron could be a handful at times, especially when it comes to other guys checking him out. Aaron was rather possessive in that way.

* * *

The next forty five minutes pass without anything happening. They eat their first course and chat about things that were going on in their life. Jackson brings up maybe going back to work which Aaron shoots down in flames seconds after he mentions it. Jackson doesn't mention it after that because it would only cause friction and eventually lead to an argument. He didn't want an argument in the middle of the restaurant.

Before the main course arrives Aaron stands up and says "I'm going to the bog" Jackson just nods and doesn't reply, but he does watch him go though. He likes to watch Aaron walk away from him, it's a good view.

Aaron has been gone for less than a minute of Jackson hears

"Jackson Walsh?"

Jackson knows that voice. He would know it anywhere. He turns around and as suspected it was Joe. "Joe!" he says, a smile spreading over his face as he stands up "Hey!"

Joe's eyes widen "You're a lot better now!"

Jackson laughs "Yeah" he says "I am" Joe was his carer after the accident. He was his carer when he was paralysed and he hadn't seen him in four years.

"You look really good" Joe tells him and Jackson smiles "Thanks, you too"

"What you doing here?" Joe questions, looking around "not here yourself are you?"

Jackson laughs and shakes his head "No, no. I'm with Aaron"

For the second time Joe's eyes widen "Aaron? You and him are still together?"

"Yeah. Who would have thought it, huh?"

Joe nods agreeing, he certainly wouldn't have thought it "do you mind?" he asks pointing at the empty seat and Jackson shakes his head "No sit down!" he says slipping into his own seat "we'll catch up"

"So you and Aaron huh?"

"Yeah" Jackson says again "We're uh…" he trails off, lifting up his left hand and showing his ring

"Wow!" Joe says, clearly in shock and not expecting that.

"How are you anyway?" Jackson changes the subject and Joe proceeds to tell him how he is doing and what he has been up to since they last saw each other.

"You're still alright though, yeah? No problems?"

"Yeah. As long as I don't work"

"You didn't go back to building!" Joe exclaims shaking his head "I did"

"Can't believe your Mum let you do that"

"They didn't" he says "I didn't tell her or Aaron about the Doctors telling me not to"

Aaron had been at the toilets for just over five minutes. They were bloody hard to find. As he walked back into the dining room, he was a little confused. Was he in the right place? That's when he realised that he was, it was just someone was sitting in his seat. He had no idea who it was but as he got closer he could see who it was.

It was Joe. Jackson's carer.

"That's my seat" Aaron says from behind Jackson and in front of Joe. Joe looks up, a hard smile on his face "Oh, hi Aaron"

Aaron's mouth turns up at the corners in a scowl "My seat. You're in it" he says again and Joe stands up "Sorry, we just got chatting"

"Fabulous" Aaron replies sarcastically as he slips into his now empty seat.

Jackson looks at Aaron with a wary smile on his face, then turns back to Joe "it was good seeing you again"

Joe nods "Yeah, we should keep in touch" he pulls out a card from his pocket "give me a call sometime, we'll go for a drink" he places the card on the table in front of both Aaron and Jackson.

"Nice seeing you again Aaron. See you later Jackson"

Joe walks away leaving Aaron and Jackson sitting in an awkward silence. Before either of them can break it a waitress brings their main meal. Jackson smiles at her and says "thanks" ever the polite one.

Aaron is staring at his plate, his tongue darts out licking his lips "Joe, huh?"

"Aaron…"

Aaron's eyes widen and he says "Don't Aaron me" he picks his knife and fork up and tries to eat his food but he ends up pushing it about the plate.

"Who did he think you were here with?" Aaron asks, his eyes burning into Jackson.

"You"

Aaron scoffs "and he just thought what? That he could take my seat?"

"He was hardly taking your seat. He knew you would be back sooner or later"

"I hate that guy. He knows I hate him"

Jackson pulls a face "Why? Why do you hate him? He done nothing but help me"

Aaron gives Jackson an _are you serious look _before saying "have you forgotten what happened four years ago? When you were getting better?"

Jackson shakes his head. He hadn't forgotten how could he?

"You told me you thought you were in love with him!"

Jackson looks at the table and takes a deep breath "Exactly, I thought. I married you didn't I? I love you"

"Yeah if only he'd turned up six weeks ago, huh?" Aaron states "you could have been with him"

Jackson's eyes widen "I don't want him"

"Not what you said four years ago"

"I was confused. I was with him all day. We got close but I'm still madly in love with you. I always have been Aaron. Don't start getting jealous"

"Of him? " Aaron turns his nose up "I doubt it" he scoffs "I'm not the one that claimed to be in love with somebody else"

Jackson looks at his plate, he hasn't touched the food, just pushed it around the plate, as had Aaron. Their appetites suddenly gone "I told you!" Jackson snaps, his voice rising causing a few people at the tables closest to them to look around.

"Great" Aaron mutters "Draw more attention to us"

Jackson ignores him and takes a deep breath "You're the one that's kicking off" he tells him calmly and quietly "I was just talking to an old mate"

Aaron lifts his eyebrows and says "right. Do you want to see him again?"

Jackson shakes his head and a small smirk appears on Aaron's face as he reaches for the card that Joe had put down with his number on it. He picks it up and twirls it around his fingers "You don't mind if I rip this up then, do you?"

Jackson did mind. He minded because it was stupid. Joe was his friend, alright he had told Aaron, stupidly he had told him he thought he was in love with him but that was years ago. They were married now and Jackson only loved him, no one else. Aaron knew that. He was just being jealous.

"Yeah. I do" he admits. He's not about to pretend he didn't. Why should he lie?

Aaron doesn't react, instead he catches the eye of a waiter and asks for their bill "leaving are we?" Jackson asks but Aaron doesn't reply. He's staring at him and still twirling the card around in his fingers.

"Silent treatment" Jackson says "great" he leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest.

A couple of minutes later the waiter brings the bill and Aaron read it "I told him to go you know" he informs Jackson.

"You what?" he asks

"I told that moron to do one and not come back" Aaron admits "I could see it. I didn't want to lose you. I told him if he didn't…" he rolls his eyes "well…I told him it would be in his best interests to go"

"You threatened him?" Jackson asks in shock and Aaron nods "Yeah" he admits "I did. Don't make me do it again" he tells him. He rips the card with the number on it into tiny pieces and drops it onto his plate

"What the hell!" Jackson starts just as Aaron stands up, he pulls out his wallet and drops money onto the table then turns around and heads out. Jackson follows him quickly, assuming he had left the enough to cover the both of their lunches, he had.

Aaron's a couple of feet in front of Jackson the whole time as they walk back to the car. Jackson doesn't even try to talk to him. What could he say? What was there to say?

Inside the car the atmosphere is strange. It's not tense or awkward, just strange. Aaron starts the engine but he doesn't move the car.

"Why did we have to see him?" Aaron finally speak s "I was in quite a good mood"

"Only you ruined it" Jackson reminds him "I was just talking to an old mate"

Aaron reaches over and places his hand on Jackson's thigh. "Sorry" he tells him but Jackson doesn't say anything. He just nods his head. He'll forgive him, of course he will but not right away. He just ruined their lunch for no good reason.

Aaron pulls the car out of the car park and heads home. When they pull up in Emmerdale, outside of the garage Jackson is out the car before the engine has even stopped.

Ryan who is at the garage notices the way the car door slams, the way both his friends slam the car door.

"Trouble in paradise?" he teases and Aaron growls "Mind your own business, eh?" he barks at him "Chuck!" he calls on his dog "let's go"

He calls on the dog and sets off away from the garage and away from Dale Head. They needed space. That was obvious. He let his jealousy get the better of him again but he really didn't trust that guy. He wanted Jackson. Aaron could tell from the first time he had met "Joe" that he had a thing for Jackson. Who wouldn't? Being in the wheelchair unable to move didn't stop him from being extremely good looking, did it?

He wants to stay out late. Let the dust settle then go home and act as if nothing happened but he doesn't. After fifteen minutes of walking Chuck Aaron knows he has to go home. He has to face the music. He has to apologise for the way he acted in the restaurant. He messed up their "date" and he didn't mean to. They hadn't been out together; just them in so long and he ruined it. He needed to fix it.

Aaron knew how to fix it, he dropped Chuck back off at the garage then headed into the café while pulling out his mobile to call Victoria. Forty five minutes later Aaron walked out of the café feeling a lot happier than he had been previously. He now just had to hope Jackson was up for it.

He barged into their house to find Jackson; he wasn't downstairs "Jackson?" he calls out

"Bedroom" he hears as a reply.

"Pack a bag" Aaron says as he walks through the bedroom door. Jackson looks at him with a confused expression "excuse me?"

"We've got a plane to catch" Aaron explains "In two hours time we have to be at the airport"

Jackson's eyes widen and his mouth drops open, he keeps trying to talk but the words just won't come out.

"We've what?"

Aaron takes a step closer to him and shrugs sheepishly "it's my way of saying sorry" he tells him "and it's our honeymoon that we didn't get weeks ago"

"But…"

"No buts" Aaron cuts in "I've sorted it. Ryan's got the garage, Victoria has this place and Chuck all we have to do is pack and head to the airport. What do ya say?"

"Where we going?" he asks with a grin on his face and Aaron grins back, pulling on his t-shirt and pressing a kiss to Jackson's lips.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	23. BE23

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - WANT MORE?_**

* * *

**

Aaron paid the taxi and then struggled with the bags towards his front door. He was moaning, a little anyway. Jackson had jumped out of the car before it had even stopped properly and ran into the house. For no reason, just to be home leaving Aaron to pay the taxi driver and carry the bags.

The door was just open as he got to it and he had to kick it open further "Cheers for the help there" he says sarcastically. Jackson is standing just inside the front door "No one's home" he says, completely ignoring Aaron's complaint.

They had been on holiday for two weeks; well it was more of a late honeymoon than a holiday really but whatever it was the two of them enjoyed it, immensely. They spent the whole two weeks doing as little as possible while topping up their tans and fitting in as much naked time as possible. In fact it turns out that in two weeks, in a foreign country without the distraction of work or people they knew that they could fit in quite a lot of naked time. Both of them were rather pleased with that.

"You manage them alright?" Jackson asks with a smirk. Aaron scowls at him, playfully thought, there's no real venom behind it and says "well, you did just do a runner"

Jackson pulls a face and shrugs

"Did you miss Victoria that much?" Aaron replies sarcastically while dropping their bags at the foot of the stairs.

When Aaron stands back up he finds that Jackson has closed the cap that was between them, he has a smile on his face "What are you after?" Aaron asks suspiciously

"I was thinking that seen as how no one is in…that we should delay our return to the real world a little longer"

"Oh" Aaron smirks; getting what he's meaning instantly "Good idea Walsh!" he says pulling him into an embrace, their lips meeting.

It's 1:30pm and Aaron is in the kitchen pouring himself some orange juice when the door is pushed open by a very excited dog and the next thing he knows he's being jumped on by said dog.

"Chuck!" he says with laughs and he tries and fails to push him down "Down boy" he says while petting him "how you been?" he asks him "Victoria hasn't killed you then"

"Don't let her hear you say that" a masculine voice says, one that Aaron instantly recognises. It's Adam "Adam!" Aaron smiles "what you doing with him?"

"He's been hanging out at the farm with me. He likes it"

Aaron nods as Chuck wonders out of the kitchen and heads for the stairs, no doubt looking for Jackson.

Adam's eyebrows lift as he looks Aaron up and down. He's only wearing boxers "Interrupting something are we?"

"No" Aaron says quickly "I'm just getting a drink. Not long back"

"Mmmhmm" comes Adam sceptic reply. Aaron just rolls his eyes "Anyway!" he says patting his friend on the shoulder "shouldn't you be getting back to the farm? Thanks for watching him. Though it was meant to be Victoria"

Adam laughs "Chuck prefers me"

Just then Jackson appears from the bottom of the stairs, dressed in jeans and a top with Chuck following behind him.

"Hey!" Jackson says, momentarily confused "expecting Vic?" Adam asks and Jackson nods

"I've been keeping him at the farm" he explains nodding at the dog "better get back there in fact, see you two in the pub later?"

"Yeah" Jackson answers him just before he disappears out the front door, closing it behind him.

It was nearing the end of February and they were well and truly back from their holiday. In fact their holiday was just a pleasant distant memory as they got back to work and their everyday lives. They had been married for almost two months. Aaron still couldn't quite believe they were married. That he had gotten married because at eighteen, before he met Jackson he was determined to never even admit he was Gay. That was until he met and extremely annoying builder who he couldn't quite forget about no matter how hard he tried.

Jackson pulled the van to a stop outside Dale Head and hopped out, he didn't head into the house instead he headed towards the garage, to see Aaron. It was three thirty in the afternoon and Jackson was just returning from work. He had returned to work, not full time, just a couple days a week after they had gotten back from holiday. While on holiday Jackson had explained to Aaron that if he didn't work he'd go insane. He wasn't happy about it but wanting Jackson to be happy Aaron agreed.

"Damn it!" he heard Aaron say as he got closer to the garage. He could only see Aaron's legs sticking out from under the bonnet of a Citroen C4. Just as he reached him a spanner came flying out from under the car, narrowly missing his foot.

"Hey!" Jackson says with a smirk "what did that spanner ever do to you?"

In response he hears a groan and then a couple of seconds later Aaron slides himself from under the car and stands up "Annoyed me that's what" he states once he's upright. He looks annoyed, angry and frustrated.

"What's up?" Jackson asks

Aaron rolls his eyes before saying "What's up? Where do I start? Maybe the fact that Ryan called in sick this morning then that Pratt that you told me to give a chance, you know the eighteen year old? He called in sick too, like I believe that!" he states running a hand over his head "So I'm on my own and got all of them to do!" he says pointing at three cars parked by the edge of the garage forecourt "before six" he sighs.

Jackson nods, taking in the information while looking at the cars; he doesn't really know what to say to that. Sorry?

When he looks back at Aaron there is a small smile on his face and he's taken a step towards Jackson "Hi"

"Hi yourself" Jackson replies and just like that Aaron has closed the distance between them and is kissing him. Aaron is kissing him for his own selfish reasons. Jackson calms him down, he makes him feel better and when they pull apart, he's calm, well calmer than he previously had been.

"Feeling better?" Jackson asks and Aaron nods, while looking at the work he still had to do. A frown crossed his features which made Jackson frown. Aaron turned around and headed into the garage, Jackson followed him.

Chuck was lying under the table inside fast asleep; Jackson couldn't help but smile at the dog.

"I can't believe the both of them called in sick!" he tells him "It's so annoying" he nods at the cars "I'm never going to get that lot done"

"Yes you will" Jackson assures him "you're the best mechanic I know"

Aaron rolls his eyes "Thanks" he says sarcastically "but even if you mean that I'm still not getting them done"

Jackson pulls a face "and I'm starving!" Aaron exclaims.

"Well…I can help out with that" he says "I'll nip to the café, get you something to eat"

"Knew there was a reason I liked you" Aaron tells him "want money?" he asks but he's already fumbling in his pocket for change. Jackson just gives him a look before retreating out the garage and heading towards the café.

Twenty minutes later when Jackson gets back from the garage Aaron has a favour to ask him.

"Why can't you?" Jackson asks and Aaron pulls a face "She likes you more than she likes me"

"She's your cousin"

"Yeah" Aaron agrees "who likes you better. Come on, please? I'll get this done quicker with help; I've been here since seven. I've gotten through most of it on my own, just ask her for me?"

"Fine" Jackson agrees and Aaron can't help but grin "Cheers"

"Shut up and eat your food" Jackson demands.

Twenty minutes later Debbie rocks up the garage, wearing an over all "Sending Jackson to do your dirty work? Didn't think you were that type"

Aaron ignores her jibe "here to help then?"

Debbie nods "I was bored" she tells him "What's wrong with this one?"

"I've got this one"

She gives him a look and he sighs "but you want to take over, right?"

Debbie grins "Here" he hands her the tool he had in his hand "what's wrong with it is on that piece of paper and the rest are on the notice board. I'll take the mini" he tells her.

It's just after half past four when he finishes off the cars. They're not getting picked up until first thing the following morning which meant he could just go home and relax.

"Thanks" he says nodding at Debbie.

"Don't strain yourself"

Aaron pulls a face "wanting paid?"

She gives him a look and says "are you serious?" Aaron shrugs

"No. You're family. We don't charge family"

"Right" Aaron replies "Well I'll buy you a drink or two next time we're in the pub"

"I'll hold you to that" she says before walking away.

* * *

Aaron had seen Jackson disappear in his van shortly after Debbie had started helping him. He hadn't said he was off and he hadn't seen him get back. He knew he was back though because his van was parked outside the house. He must have been under the bonnet of a car when he pulled up.

When Aaron walked into his house he could hear voices coming from the living room. Assuming that Jackson was the only one home and the voices were coming from the TV he headed towards the living room. Pushing open the door he quickly realised it wasn't just the TV. Jackson had company.

"Aaron!" an excited voice squealed and a little body collided with his legs. Aaron looked down, he recognised that little girl. It was Maddie.

"Hey!" he smiles down at her while throwing a confused look in Jackson's direction. He doesn't offer an explanation he just says "she likes you"

Aaron stifles a laugh while bending down to pick the little girl up because it didn't look like she was going to detach herself from his legs any other way.

Aaron sat on the sofa and Maddie jumped out of his arms and began doing what she had been doing previously "she's here because?" he asks turning to Jackson.

"Tina asked me to watch her"

Aaron sighs. Tina was always using them or rather Jackson as a babysitter because she knew he wouldn't say no.

"And tell me it's only for an hour or something?"

Jackson bites his lip and shakes his head, looking at Aaron all doe eyes and innocent

"Two?" Aaron says although he already knows the answer.

Jackson clears his throat and says "All night"

"Jackson!" Aaron groans, his head falling back against the sofa and his eyes closing. That was the last thing he wanted to hear. It was the last thing he needed. He was tired and just wanted to relax, now it looked like they would have to entertain a four year old, great.

"Tina asked, what could I say?"

"No?" he suggests and Jackson rolls his eyes "Tina said Maddie wanted to see you. Think you've got yourself an admirer"

"Super" Aaron retorts sarcastically

"Don't worry, she's four, she'll get over and realise you're a moron" Jackson promises him.

"I'm going for a shower" Aaron says as he gets up and excuses himself from the room. Jackson doesn't say anything, just lets him go. When he's gone and the door to the living room is closed Maddie looks at him "Where's Aaron?"

Jackson laughs "He'll be back soon" he tells her and she nods, a small smile playing on her lips "Ok"

Two and a half hours later after a much needed shower and some food Aaron was in a lot better mood. He was currently sat on the sofa with Jackson. Maddie was on the other sofa with a blanket; they were watching some kids' film. Aaron didn't mind that much. He was happy enough, he had Jackson, he was relaxed and he had a can, what more could a man want?

It was seven thirty when Victoria came home "we got a kid now?" she asks looking at the two men.

Jackson nods "for a night anyway" he explains "I'm watching her for a mate"

Victoria shrugs her jacket off and puts it over the couch "What we watching?"

"Monsters Inc" Aaron replies "It's great" he adds in a sarcastic tone but secretly he's enjoying it. Jackson elbows him in the side "Aaron loves it really"

Aaron scoffs

Victoria sits herself down beside Maddie and smiles at the little girl. Maddie pulls her blanket closer to her and away from Victoria while tilting her head and frowning. Victoria, not noticing turns her attention to the TV.

A few seconds later Maddie has slid off the couch and is walking towards Aaron and Jackson, neither of them notice until she has climbed up and placed herself on Aaron. He tenses slightly, unsure of what to do. He looks at Jackson who is trying to stop himself from laughing. Aaron glares at him and if looks could kill Jackson would be dead.

"Want me to move her?" Jackson mouths but looking down at the little girl Aaron finds he doesn't have the heart to and shakes his head.

At 9pm Maddie has fallen asleep on Aaron's chest and the film has finished. Victoria looks at Aaron and the sleeping little girl "Aww cute"

"Shut it you" he barks, looking down and noticing that Maddie has fallen asleep "Great" he sighs "she's asleep"

Jackson sits forward "want me to take her upstairs?" he asks moving to lift the little girl but Aaron declines "Nah, she's asleep on me if you lift her you'll probably wake her" Aaron doesn't want anyone to wake her. What are the chances of her going straight back to sleep? Slim he knew that and he just wanted his bed.

"I'll take her into the spare room, then I'll head to bed" he says sliding forward and cradling Maddie so she doesn't fall. He stands up and looks back at Jackson "coming?" he asks with a hopeful smile and Jackson nods "I'll be up soon" he promises. Dropping a quick kiss to Jackson's waiting lips Aaron walks out of the living room.

"Now that was cute" Victoria says with a huge grin and Jackson has to agree.

"Have you two thought about it?" she asks and Jackson is looking at her, all confused

"Kids" she clarifies "have you two thought about having them?"

Jackson is shaking his head quickly "No, no, no"

"Why not?"

Jackson takes a deep breath "Well, I got him to admit he was Gay, I got him to move in with me, I got him to admit he loved me and! I even got him to marry me" he tells her "but kids? That is one thing he will never do and I'm not even going to go there"

"Why not?"

"It'll just cause an argument and it will end up with him going on and ranting, we're good just us"

"But he was so good with her" she nods in the direction Aaron had just gone

"Yeah but if you ask Aaron he hates kids and kids hate him"

Victoria scoffs "Aaron is a Muppet" she informs him "do you want kids?"

Jackson nods "I'd like them" he admits "but I want Aaron more" he adds with a smile "so I'll just take him if I need to chose"

Victoria nods, a sad smile on her face "Sorry I mentioned it"

"Don't be" he tells her "It's just never going to happen" he stands up "I think I'm gonna head up too, she'll probably be up at the crack of dawn and I'll have to get up with her"

"Night"

"Night" Jackson says closing the living room door behind him and heading to his bedroom, checking on Maddie first.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	24. BE24

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV

* * *

_

"Aww great!" Aaron grunted as Victoria walked towards the garage. Ryan looked at him funny "what's up?"

Aaron shakes his head "Nowt" he replies "she's just doing my head in"

Ryan laughs "You did let her move in"

"Don't remind me"

Victoria had been trying to talk to Aaron for two days but he always seemed to busy or she had to run off to work. She had things she had to ask him. Mostly concerning her chat with Jackson two days ago. Jackson clearly wanted kids. Aaron didn't and she knew that Jackson wouldn't bring the subject up because he wouldn't want to argue. Her on the other hand had no problem bringing the subject up or arguing with the mechanic.

"I'm taking you to lunch" she tells him and she can't help but notice the surprised look on his face.

"What you after?" he asks suspiciously

Victoria sighs and rolls her eyes "Nowt" she tells him "just thought I'd take my mate for lunch, what do you say?" Aaron doesn't need to be offered twice. If someone other than him is willing to pay for his lunch he's there.

"Let's go" he says to her and she grins. She has him where she wants him now. He can't do a runner, well he could but the chances of him doing so are slim.

They're halfway through their lunch when Victoria feels she can no longer hold her tongue and she has to say something.

"So" she starts "you were kinda cute with that kid the other night there"

Aaron scoffs while eating "I didn't kill her if that's what you mean"

"You were a natural"

Aaron stops eating and turns to face her, he's suspicious and confused. It's written all of his face. "Uh uh" he replies, eyebrows lifting as he stares at her.

"Well, she really liked you. I thought it was cute" she retorts

"She's four. Like Jackson said she'll get over it"

Victoria can't help but smirk as she says "admit it!" she nudges him "you enjoyed it"

Aaron sighs "Alright, I quite like the kid but that's only because I see her like once every few months. I'm not good with them" he admits "you know that"

Victoria nods. She is aware of how much Aaron dislikes kids but that was a much younger and much less wiser Aaron. He's grown up now, he's married. He's mature. This Aaron, she is sure could handle having a baby, she's also sure that this Aaron would quite like one, he just won't admit it to himself.

"So you don't want them then?" she asks "you and Jackson?"

Aaron's eyebrows pull together and he looks at her like she's crazy "haven't you noticed that Jackson and me are both guys? That's kinda impossible"

Victoria rolls her eyes and says "you know what I mean"

"Impossible" he repeats "Guys can't have kids"

Victoria sighs and Aaron rolls his eyes before saying "Jackson wants them" he admits to her in a quiet voice.

"You don't?"

Aaron shrugs "I'll give in" he admits "like I always do. Jackson wants something he usually ends up with it"

"You'll give in?" Victoria asks confused

"And we'll have kids" he informs her "like I always do, he wants kids, I'll go along with it but…"

"But?"

"But…It'll probably involve me fighting a lot when it goes to school and someone says something about me and Jackson"

"You always have to think of the worst, don't you?"

"It's the truth. I would have said something" he tells her "if some kid in my class had two "dads" I would have said something"

Victoria slapped him on the shoulder "That's you. You're a bad man" she tells him with a laugh.

Aaron eats the rest of his lunch while Victoria thinks about what Aaron has just said. She's not about to let it go. She doesn't let things go that easily. It's not in her nature.

"So you don't want kids then? You'll just do it because Jackson wants them? He wouldn't want that"

Aaron sighs "What's it got to do with you?" he asks "what's with all the questions?"

"I was just talking to Jackson, the other night when you took Maddie to bed" she explains "He said that he wanted kids he just never thought it would happen because you didn't want them so he'd never mention it"

"He said he wouldn't mention it because I didn't want them?"

Victoria nods "He didn't want an argument or a fight" she explains "he loves you that much"

Aaron smiles then downs the rest of his drink before standing up "great" he says "I don't have to worry about giving in to him then, do i?"

Before Victoria can say anything Aaron has disappeared out of the pub leaving her alone "Great" she mutters to herself. She didn't get to know what she wanted to know.

On the way out of the pub Aaron collided with someone as they passed each other. He didn't look up, nor did he apologise he just continued on his way, until he heard.

"Aaron?"

He stopped, turned around to see who had called out his name. It was Dan. One of Jackson's mates.

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen Jackson?" Dan asks, closing the distance between them.

Aaron looks him up and down "Seen as how we live in the same house I think I might have" he replies sarcastically. He can't help but be sarcastic and cheeky to Jackson's mates. There's just something about them that bring out the worst in him, he doesn't know what it is or why he does it.

Dan rolls his eyes "I tried at the house but the van wasn't there…any ideas when he'll be back?"

Aaron looks at the house and as Dan said the van wasn't parked outside Dale Head but Aaron was sure it had been when he had gone for lunch.

"No" he tells him "Why? What do you want him for?"

Dan smirks "that's between me and him"

Aaron lifts his eyebrows "Well he'll only tell me"

"Maybe" Dan agrees "but that's up to him. I'm not married to you. I don't have to tell you anything"

Aaron's lips curl up as he almost growls "I don't have to tell him you called then, do i?"

Dan shrugs "I called in because I was passing through. I'll call him or text him. Don't need you to tell him" he informs the mechanic "See you later Aaron"

Aaron grunts something that Dan can't quite make out then heads back to the garage.

It's just after two when Aaron finishes at the garage. He wasn't working all day. Ryan was working till give along with the trainee they had working. Aaron didn't like him all that much but Jackson convinced him to give him a chance. So he was.

Aaron has just walked through the back door when he hears the front door opening "Jackson, is that you?"

"How many other builders do you live with?" came the reply and Aaron rolls his eyes. Jackson thinks he's extremely funny. He's not. He's extremely annoying.

Aaron opens the kitchen door and leans against the frame "You mean how many other annoying builders do I live with?" he shakes his head "just he one and he's enough"

Jackson smiles "aww! Missed you too" He pushes past Aaron on his way into the kitchen; he's starving but can't resist slapping Aaron's ass on the way past.

"If you want to touch me Jackson, feel free"

"I always do" Jackson admits as he opens the fridge, trying to decide what he wants to eat.

"Make me something" Aaron asks. He's going to change out of his overalls and into something a little more comfortable, he's also going to clean himself up. He's covered in dirt and oil. Jackson may like that look, every now and then but Aaron wants to clean up. It's only 2pm. They could decide to go out and if they did he wanted to be ready, not have to wait until he's changed out of his work clothes.

While Aaron is doing whatever it was he was doing. Jackson was making them both something to eat, well he was, until his phone rang. It was Dan.

When Aaron comes back from getting changed fifteen minutes later Jackson is just ending his phone call.

"Yeah, look forward to it. Cheers"

Aaron is leaning against the kitchen worktop watching Jackson. He ends the call then puts his mobile on the counter top. He goes back to making them something to eat.

"Am I meant to guess?" Aaron's voice interrupts the silence between them.

Jackson looks at him, confused as to what he meant "You what?"

"Who was on the phone?"

"Oh" Jackson says "Dan" he gives Aaron a look "said he had a chat to you earlier"

Aaron pulls a face and nods

"Nice of you to tell me"

"He said he was going to call you" Aaron says, defending himself "what was the point in me telling you he was here?"

Jackson shakes his head and turns back to the sandwiches he was preparing.

"What did he want?" Aaron snaps after a few more minutes of silence.

Jackson placed the two plates onto the kitchen table and slid into a seat "Invited me on Holiday" he explains "it's a stag weekend in Ibiza"

"Did he invite me?" Aaron asks but he already knows the answer.

Jackson shakes his head "No, do you wanna come?"

"Might have been nice to have been asked" he replies, he doesn't want to go and if he's honest he doesn't want Jackson to go either. He has his own selfish reasons for not wanting Jackson to go but he's not about to say that.

"If you want to come I'll call Dan up and tell him you're coming" Jackson tells him but Aaron shakes his head "Nah, I'll only end up causing a fight, when you off?"

"Friday"

"Friday?" Aaron repeats and Jackson can see his brain thinking it through "Tomorrow?" he suddenly announces.

"Yeah"

"And you said yes?"

"Not like I have work to do or anything" Jackson explained "Why can't I go tomorrow?"

Aaron takes a deep breath then exhales loudly "No reason really. You can go"

"Is that you giving me your permission? Wasn't aware I asked for it"

Aaron couldn't but feel as if Jackson was looking for an argument "Do you want an argument?"

Jackson quickly shakes his head "No…"

They eat their sandwiches in silence. An somewhat awkward atmosphere descended between them until Aaron apologises.

"I just…what am I meant to do while you're in Ibiza?" he asks with a laugh.

"Get wasted with Adam and Victoria? Go out and enjoy yourself. Anything" he tells him "I'll only be gone for four days"

Aaron stands up and extends his hand "guess I should make the most of you while I have you then, huh?"

Jackson grins "You should" he confirms.

The plates are left on the table, completely forgotten about as the two lovers stumble their way upstairs towards their bedroom.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	25. BE25

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV

* * *

_

It was Saturday and Jackson had been gone just a day. It was strange, sleeping in their bed without him. Aaron found that he didn't want to do it all that often. It was cold, obviously Jackson had more body heat then he knew because be clearly kept the bed warm.

Aaron wasn't working, the garage was closed because they had nothing on and he wasn't opening it on the off chance that someone would stumble in. Oh no, he was going to relax, he just wished Jackson was around to relax with. It was a very rare weekend where they had no work on and he could close up shop for the weekend. Trust it to happen when Jackson wasn't around.

It's just after midday and Aaron hears someone banging on the front door. He opens it to find Tina and Maddie on the other side

"Tina?" Aaron say as she pushes her way inside "Hey!" she smiles but she looks anxious "Jackson in?"

Aaron shakes his head "He went to Ibiza!"

"Crap!" she exclaims "that's why I can't get hold of any of them"

Aaron looks at Maddie, she's almost asleep on Tina's shoulder "what's wrong?"

"My Mum's being taken into hospital I need to go and I needed someone to watch Maddie but apparently they're all away having fun in Ibiza"

"Oh" Aaron says but he has a sinking feeling in his stomach "could you…?" Tina suggests and Aaron quickly shakes his head

"Oh no Tina. I'm crap with kids. I'll kill her or something"

Tina rolls her eyes "Don't be such a drama queen. You'll handle it. She loves you just for a day? I'll pick her up tomorrow?"

Aaron groans. He couldn't really say no, could he? Tina looked like she was about to cry, he didn't want that and if Jackson found out he turned her down he'd never hear the end of it "You'll pick her up tomorrow?"

Tina nods

"You promise?"

Again Tina nods

"Alright" Aaron agrees, against his better judgement. There goes his weekend of getting plastered.

"Thank you!" she exclaims throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him into an awkward hug.

Tina explains to Maddie that's she's going to be staying with Aaron for the night as he Nanny is in hospital and her Mummy has to make sure she's ok. Maddie is alright with the arrangement. She looks up and Aaron and smiles but asks her Mum "Where's Jackson?"

"Jackson is on holiday baby, will you be good for Aaron?"

Maddie nods

"And do everything he asks or tells you to do?"

Again Maddie nods.

"Good girl" Tina kisses her on the head then lifts her into her arms "thank you Aaron"

"It's alright" Aaron assures her as she passes Maddie to him.

Aaron stands at the door and watches as Tina gets back in her car. She's left him a bag with Maddie's clothes and some toys. Aaron looks at the little girl "what am I meant to do with you?" he asks her and she just grins at him, with big brown eyes and Aaron can't help but smile.

He lets out a sigh and shifts her onto his other hip "are you hungry?" he asks and she nods her head "Let's go get some food then, huh?" he suggests.

Aaron heads to the Woolpack. He's not in the mood for cooking. He'll let Marlon do that for him and hopefully he can find someone to entertain Maddie for him. Debbie, Bell or someone else for example.

Walking into the pub the first person he comes across is his Mother. She immediately notices the little girl in his arms "something to tell me?" she asks with a smirk.

Aaron scowls at her "She's Jackson's mates kid" he explains and Chas nods "why do you have her then?"

"Cause she needed someone to watch her and Jackson is away to Ibiza"

Chas bursts out laughing and Aaron's eyes widen "what's so funny?" he asks genuinely interested

"You. With a kid"

"Thanks" Aaron rolls his eyes and steps away from her, she's still laughing and he grunts while looking at Maddie "I'm not that bad am i?"

Maddie looks at him, slightly confused then shakes her head "didn't think so" Aaron says with a smile while setting her down on a seat.

He leaves Maddie sitting at the table while he goes to the bar. He grabs a menu and scans it as he waits on Diane pouring him a pint. He can have one pint while he's watching her, right? It's not like one pint is going to get him so drunk that he won't be able to look after her. He's not that stupid.

After an hour Aaron has finished his meal but Maddie is still eating. Aaron is finding it hard to believe that anyone is that slow at eating. Even a four year old little girl.

"AARON!" he hears his name being yelled. He also knows who is doing the yelling. It's Adam.

He turns around as Maddie looks up to "Wondered where you were buddy!" Adam says slapping him on the shoulder. Adam's eyes land on Maddie and his eyebrows rise "Who's this?"

Aaron looks at Maddie then back at Aaron "This is Maddie" Aaron tells him "I'm watching her for the night"

"Ha!" Adam laughs "are you serious?" he adds at the look on Aaron's face.

Aaron nods "Who…Why does everyone find this so funny?"

Adam sits into the empty seat between Aaron and Maddie "because man, it's…it's you"

Aaron gives him a look, a look which asks _"what does that mean" _

"You're not exactly kid friendly are you? Jackson we'd understand, but you? Come on!"

Aaron laughs and shakes his head. Why do so many people assume that he would be so bad with kids? Ok, granted he thought the same thing but no one had any faith in him it seemed. No one believed he could look after a child. Well he'd show them. Tina obviously trusted him. Tina trusted him because of Jackson, he knew that but he wasn't about to let her down.

Aaron was in the pub with Maddie for a few more hours. That was because Rhona came in with her friend who had a little girl about Maddie's age and they were playing together. Aaron couldn't drag her away when after that she would only have to put up with him and he would have to put up with her. At least this way she would get tired out by playing with the other girl and sleep all night. Aaron liked that plan.

As promised, on Sunday morning Tina came to pick up her daughter at eleven thirty. Aaron couldn't quite believe that he was sad to see her go. After getting home from the Woolpack at 5 on Saturday night, he had spent the night in with her. Watching kids DVDs that just happened to be in the bag that Tina had left. Aaron found that he really enjoyed kids DVDs and that he really enjoyed…well, kids. Maddie was cute and quite funny. She had him laughing almost as much as Jackson did. He was enjoying the time he spent with her. Once again, she fell asleep on his chest. Only this time he had fallen asleep also and he had been woken up by Victoria who had just gotten back from down at one in the morning. She'd given him a funny look but he'd ignored her and carried Maddie to bed.

It was now 11:30 Victoria hadn't dragged herself from bed yet and Maddie was leaving. He didn't want her to leave but he wasn't about to tell anyone that. He didn't even want to admit it to himself.

"Has she behaved?" Tina asks as she whisks her little girl up into her arms and hugs "yeah" Aaron answers "she's been great"

"Thank you Aaron" she says with an affectionate smile and pulls him into a hug "thank you so much" Aaron isn't sure what to do; he just stands there until she pulls away.

"Is your Mum alright?" he asks, trying to change the subject.

Tina nods "She's good" she tells him "She got out, so I'm staying at hers till she's better" Aaron nods "I better go"

"Yeah" Aaron says as he watches them walk to the car "See you later"

"Bye Aaron!" Maddie says with a toothy grin as she waves frantically. Aaron laughs and waves back "Bye"

With Maddie gone Aaron decides it's time to start his weekend off the way he had planned before she turned up. He had another day before Jackson came home and he wanted to get drunk and hang out with his friends.

He pulls Victoria out of bed, makes her breakfast then tells her that her, him, Adam, Ryan and whoever else he can find are going out for a day and night on the town. Victoria was more than pleased with this.

It was really early in the morning well Aaron arrived home. In fact it was just after six which is why. He missed the fact that his bed wasn't empty when he fell into it, fully clothed. Jackson's flight was in the early hours of Monday morning. He had gotten home, to an empty house at just after five in the morning and dropped into bed. He wasn't bothered about the fact Aaron wasn't home, he'd come home when he was good and ready.

It was only when he felt the weight of Aaron's body falling on him that he knew he was home. He woke up, rolled him off his body and onto his side of the bed and pulled his boots and jeans off of him before sliding back in beside him and falling asleep.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	26. BE26

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - This is for Rachel to cheer her up as she's feeling down! :D

* * *

_

It had been five days since Jackson had gotten back from Ibiza and to say Aaron was shocked that Monday afternoon when he had woken up to find Jackson in bed beside him would be an understatement. He hadn't been expecting him back to early; he thought it would more than likely be Monday night.

It was now Friday once more and Jackson still hadn't given Aaron much information about his holiday. It wasn't through the lack of trying on Aaron's part thought but all he got was "What happens in Ibiza stays in Ibiza" and it was delivered with one of Jackson's trade mark cheeky grins. The grins that could have such opposing effects on Aaron given the situation and atmosphere. One minute they could turn him on, the next they could make him angry and annoyed.

Aaron hadn't told Jackson about the fact that he babysat Maddie, all alone for a whole 24 hours. It had just not came up in conversation as of yet and Aaron was still trying to work out his own feelings. Did he want kids? A part of him did but another part, a bigger part was scared. He was scared because he knew that if anyone ever said anything to his kid about him being Gay or about Jackson that he would kick off and more than likely beat the crap out of the parents.

"Are you running away and leaving me on my own tonight then?" Jackson asks as they are both stood in the kitchen "Am i?"

Jackson shrugs "that's what I asked. My mates are coming over. You know how much you love them"

Aaron rolls his eyes at Jackson's sarcasm and says "no. I'll be here"

Jackson's taken back by that. He hadn't expected it. At all really "you are?"

Aaron nods "not got a problem with that, have you?"

"Why would I have a problem with you being in your own house?" Jackson snaps. Tensions had been running high between them ever since he had gotten back from holiday and Jackson knew why. It was because he wouldn't tell him what happened on holiday. Nothing happened. It's not as if he slept with someone or anything but the way Aaron questioned him on Monday made him feel as if Aaron didn't trust him, so he wasn't for telling him.

"I'll just invite my mates round too" Aaron tells him and Jackson shrugs. Jackson didn't have a problem with that "oh you mean Adam?" he replies sarcastically.

Aaron glares at him. He's not sure what's wrong with Jackson but he's been snapping at him ever since he had gotten back from Ibiza. It was really beginning to get on his nerves. The fact that they hadn't touched each other, intimately, apart from the odd kiss was annoying him too.

"I'm going out"

"You do that" Jackson replies

"Chuck. Come on!" Aaron calls on the dog while grabbing his lead and Chuck is at his heels as fast as he can make it.

Aaron wasn't sure where he was going. He just wanted out of the house because he didn't want an argument. His phone beeped, it was a text from Adam. It was that text from Adam that made him realise what day it was. It was February the 23rd. Which meant he and Jackson had been married for exactly two months.

He couldn't believe it. How had he managed to forget that? So soon into their marriage he shouldn't be forgetting their two month anniversary and neither should Jackson. OK, so it wasn't a big one like a year or something but still, two months, it should be recognised. Shouldn't it?

Without really knowing why Aaron ended up outside of Smithy. He didn't bother knocking, he rarely did. He just pushed the door open and walked in.

"Paddy?"

He's obviously not in the house so Aaron heads through to the vets. To find him "Pearl" he says, getting the older woman's attention "seen Paddy?"

Before Pearl can answer the surgery door opens and in walks Jackson. He's shocked to see Jackson and they both stand staring at each other for a few seconds. Aaron breaks the silence first by saying "What are you doing here?"

"Oh!" Pearl says "He's helping me out"

Aaron lifts his eyebrows and looks at Pearl "Right handy man you, aren't you?" he says looking at Jackson and Jackson smirks "You know I am"

Aaron smirks right back at him and dips his head, to hide the blush on his face "Aaron!" a surprised voice says from behind him then "Jackson!" It was Paddy. Aaron turns around "Alright" he smiles at the man that is like a father to him.

"What are you two doing here?"

Aaron shrugs "just here to see you" he explains to the vet "he's here for Pearl. They've got a date"

Paddy smiles at him receptionist and Jackson. The builder was so good with her, so unlike Aaron. If Aaron could avoid her, he would.

"I'll be back soon" Pearl promised as she grabbed her bag and started to make her exit. Paddy nodded and Aaron was looking at Jackson.

"I know I'm attractive Aaron but we've got company" Jackson says to him, he was becoming slightly self conscious with the way Aaron kept staring at him. Jackson's comment pulled Aaron back to reality and a frown crossed his feature "haha" he replies "Fancy taking Chuck?"

"You took him out"

"Yeah and I'm only asking, if you don't want to just say no"

Pearl and Paddy shared a look. A worried look because the tension between the pair was obvious.

"I'll take him" Jackson finally agrees "don't mind do you Pearl?" Pearl shakes her head. She loves Chuck almost as much as she loves Jackson.

"Chuck come on!" he calls on the dog but then has to step forward to take the lead from Aaron's hand. Their fingers brush for just a second and their eyes lock. In that second where their eyes lock they both come to realise what's wrong with them. They miss each other. They missed each other over the weekend Jackson was away and neither of them really wanted to admit it, so they let things fester into what it was now. Awkward tension.

"See you at home later?" Aaron asks

"You bet" Jackson replies. He thinks about kissing him. Just a quick "Goodbye" kiss but he doesn't. He just smiles and backs out of the surgery with Pearl and Chuck.

Once Jackson and Pearl have gone Paddy turns to Aaron, a concerned look etched onto his face "What's up?"

Aaron looks at him, confused

Paddy just smiles and says "You two seem…different"

Aaron sighs, heavily and nods "We've been married two months today" he says and Paddy's face lights up "I don't think he remembers" Aaron admits and Paddy frowns. It wasn't like Jackson to forget something like that. Aaron would be the one most likely to forget, not Jackson.

"I'm sure he remembers"

"Then why is he helping out Pearl and why has he invited his mates around tonight?" he asks Paddy "he's forgot" then after a minute he adds "stupid dick"

* * *

Paddy laughs and walks through into the house, knowing Aaron would follow him "Coffee?" he asks and Aaron nods while slipping into the chairs by the table.

Paddy sits down with his Coffee and two hours later Aaron is walking through the doors of Dale Head. He had sorted things out in his head. Talking to Paddy helped him a lot. He had told Paddy about Maddie and about how he had been giving thought to having a baby, to them having kids. Paddy's face had lit up and he had been all for it, encouraging him and telling him he'd be great. Aaron hadn't believed him, he knew he would be crap but he'd have Jackson and Jackson was amazing at almost everything he did. Paddy convinced him to talk it over with Jackson. Aaron hadn't told Paddy that they had barely spoken since Jackson's return from Ibiza. The vet didn't need to know that. Aaron could fix that himself.

Closing the door to Dale Head Aaron was face to face with Jackson "Been at Paddy's all this time?" he asks and as Aaron nods but before he can get words out of his mouth Jackson's lips have covered his own and he's being back into the door.

Just as Aaron is returning the kiss, his arms wrapped around Jackson's waist, pulling him closer, all too soon Jackson is pulling away.

Aaron groans in disappointment but Jackson just breaks their kiss off, he doesn't move "Happy two month anniversary" he says with a smile on his face, a smile that is matched on Aaron's face.

"Same to you" Aaron replies, kissing him on the lips lightly "thought I forgot did you?"

Aaron shakes his head "Liar" Jackson says and Aaron shrugs "well you have invited all your mates down"

Jackson nods "Yeah" he agrees "But you've still got me all to yourself" he reminds him "No matter how many people are around and they will leave at some point" Aaron smirks "could tell them not to come over"

Jackson pulls away and shakes his head "Not gonna happen Aaron"

Aaron moans as he follows him upstairs. Jackson is pulling off his top as he goes "Why not?"

"Cause"

"We haven't had sex in ages" Aaron complains, then after a minute adds "at least I haven't"

Jackson stops on the stairs and turns toward him "what does that mean?"

Aaron shrugs "what do you want it to mean?"

"Sounds like you don't trust me"

Aaron scoffs "I trust you" he tells the builder "I just don't trust other guys that hit on you"

"Right" Jackson says and Aaron sees him shut down, his face becomes blank and he turns around and climbs the remaining two steps.

Aaron swallows the lump in his throat and follows. Why had he said that? He didn't know.

"For your information" Jackson tells him once they're inside their bedroom "Last time I had sex was last Friday before I left. I believe you were there"

Aaron looks out the window then back to Jackson "Sorry" he says sheepishly "I just…" he takes a deep breath "I'm mental" he finally admits "and I just…" he closes the distance between them "You're too good for me. I'm still waiting on you realising I'm not worth it and doing a runner"

Jackson rolls his eyes "Not gonna happen" he informs him "I married you. Kinda means I'm pretty sure about you, don't it?"

"Don't go away again?" Aaron asks, sounding needy and he hates to sound needy. Jackson laughs "without me anyway"

Jackson nods "That bad I had or those three days was empty" Jackson tells him "felt huge"

"What size was it?"

"A single" Jackson smirks and Aaron rolls his eyes "I bet it seemed huge"

"I did!" Jackson says, poking him in the side "Especially when you're used to sleeping with someone who takes up a whole bed"

Aaron rolls his eyes. He doesn't take up the whole bed. He just sleeps kinda in the middle. He's never heard Jackson complain about it "Complaining?" he questions

"Never" Jackson promises. Sealing his promise with a kiss.

Aaron wants to tell him about what he's decided. He wants to tell him about Maddie and how he's willing to give the kid thing a try.

"I wanna talk about something" he tells Jackson, turning serious

"What is…" Jackson trails off as there is a banging on their front door. Jackson can hear his mates "Can we talk about it later?" Jackson asks and Aaron nods "It can wait" he promises him because it could. It could wait for years if need be. Aaron wasn't in any hurry for it to become a reality. He still wasn't completely sure how he was going to say the words.

"Come on!" Jackson says "We've got to party"

Aaron laughs "You've got to put a top on first" he tell him, nodding at his naked chest "thought I'd just go like this" he teases but Aaron shakes his head "save it for when they're gone"

Aaron leaves Jackson in the room to change while he heads to answer the door. He's much happier now than he had been a few hours ago and he knows as soon as all of these people have left again he'll be even happier. He was counting the minutes.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	27. BE27

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Hope you enjoy!

* * *

_

To Aaron, the party seemed to last forever. He just wanted it over so he could crawl into bed with Jackson. He was too tired to do anything else now. The party had worn him down. Now he just wanted to be in bed, with Jackson and have a very quiet house.

Aaron had enjoyed the party in the end, really he had. Victoria had been there, along with Adam, Ryan, Andy and a few other people from the village. The house was packed, Aaron wasn't aware that the house could hold as many people as it managed to.

The funniest part of the evening, for Aaron anyway, was when someone decided to hit on Ryan. Instead of wading in and demanding to know what the guy was playing at, Aaron stood back, watching and found himself highly amused by the scene in front of him. In the end it was Jackson that saved Ryan from his unwanted admirer.

"Nice of you to help your mate there" Jackson had said to him, while handing him a beer. Aaron took a drink and shrugged "It was amusing" he informs him and Jackson pulls a face, looks around dramatically then asks "Are you sure your Aaron?"

Aaron smirks and closes the small distance that was between them, their chests are now touching and he says "take me upstairs and check"

Jackson laughs and pushes him back a few steps and says "later Romeo" before disappearing away from him.

Aaron pulled a face. He didn't want to wait. He wanted him, now but it looked as if he wasn't about to get him.

At some point during the night Sol managed to corner Aaron "Did Jackson tell you about the guy on holiday?" he had asked in his drunken stupor

"Jackson tells me everything" Aaron told him, neglecting to tell him he hadn't told him a thing about his holiday to Ibiza

Sol laughs to himself and Aaron pulls a face. He wants to walk away from him but a bigger part of him wants to know about this guy "he was all over Jackson"

Aaron feels himself tense and he tries to keep his cool "yeah" he smiles, trying to stay friendly and get more information out of Sol "Was too funny. Even after Jackson told him he was married he still tried" Sol downs some more of his drink before saying "I thought after Jackson told you you'd be on a plane to Ibiza trying to kill him"

"Not like anything happened" Aaron says

"True. I mean he kissed Jackson. Jackson didn't kiss him"

Aaron had never moved away from someone so fast in his entire life and before Sol could even realise that he had left him. Dan noticed the way Aaron pulled away from Sol "What did you say to him?" Dan asks

Sol shrugs and says "just chatting about the holiday"

Dan's eyes widen. Jackson hadn't told Aaron about the guy from their holiday. Dan knew this. He knew this because Jackson told him he wasn't going to. With Sol having just let the cat out of the bag Dan was expecting fireworks and he was grateful that Aaron's friends were at the party because if Jackson couldn't keep him calm, he was sure they could.

Aaron ended up roughly pushing people out of his way as he tried to get past them. Adam was suddenly in his way "move" he barked at him

"Aaron!" he threw his arm around his neck "let's get a drink" he says but Aaron pushes his away "have you seen Jackson?"

Adam finally looks at Aaron, really looks "what's wrong?"

Aaron shakes his head and tries to play normal "nowt, just looking for Jackson, seen him?" he asks as casually as he can.

"Outside last I saw"

"Cheers" Aaron makes for the front door but Adam says "the back. He was out back"

Aaron turns on his heel and changes his direction. Adam knows Aaron better than most people, he knows there's something wrong with him but as soon as someone hands him a beer, he forgets and dances his way into the living room.

Aaron spotted him as soon as he stepped outside. He was talking to some guy he didn't know. Thinking about it Aaron realised that there was a lot of people currently in his house whom he didn't know.

Being as polite as he was Aaron positioned himself in between the two men, facing the other man and growled "Do one" the guy looked at Aaron, pulling a face before looking at Jackson.

Jackson pushed Aaron to the side and said "ignore him" he looked at Aaron and shook his head "he's just drunk"

It was Aaron's turn to shake his head "not drunk" he told him "just want him to do one" he says, this time glaring at the guy.

He gets the message and says "I'll see you later Jackson!"

"Yeah" Jackson says, eyeing Aaron from the corner of his eyes "I'll come find you" the guy, Tommy his name was, nodded then disappeared inside the house.

"What the hell was that!" Jackson demands slapping Aaron on the shoulder, hard.

Aaron ignores his question and says "I know why you won't tell me about Ibiza"

Jackson's eyebrows pull together and he stares at Aaron with a blank expression "what?" he asks because he's confused.

Aaron smirks "Sol filled you in"

"Sol filled you in on what?" Jackson asks because right at that moment he can't think of what Aaron is talking about.

"Oh" Aaron says sarcastically "you kissed a lot of guys on holiday then, did you?"

Realisation dawns for Jackson and he says "Oh"

"Oh?" Aaron laughs "that's it? Oh?"

Jackson shrugs "what do you want me to say?"

"How about you tell me why you didn't tell me you went around kissing any guy that was up for it? I knew there was a reason you wouldn't tell me what happened there"

Jackson sighs. He was going to kill Sol. He never could control himself when he was drunk.

"A guy came onto me alright? He was at the same hotel, I saw him everyday and one night, he was drunk. He hadn't got the message and he kissed me"

Aaron practically snarled

"I pushed him away, told him I wasn't interested" Jackson says "there was nothing to tell" he explains "why would I want to tell you just to get you in this state?" he asks, taking a step closer to him.

"I wouldn't come near me if I was you" Aaron warns him but a smile plays on Jackson's lips and he says "I'm not scared of you"

"Don't want you to be" Aaron mumbles "I'm just pissed off that I wasn't there to hit the guy"

Jackson wraps his arms around Aaron very tense body and pulls him in closer. Aaron doesn't even hesitate or resist.

"I should be flattered that you still get jealous"

"Wasn't jealous" Aaron denies "just annoyed"

"Sure" Jackson replies, a smirk in place

"Shut up!" Aaron demands but there's no real head to his voice and Jackson replies with a simple "make me"

So he did. Aaron made him shut up. He made him shut up by closing his lips over his own. The kiss was soft and tentative. With it Aaron was telling Jackson just how much he loved him. Jackson was the one to try and deepen it. His tongue ran along Aaron's bottom lip and usually that's all it took for Aaron to allow his tongue to meet Jackson's but it didn't happen this time. This time Aaron pulled away. Jackson frowned in disappointment and Aaron said "you're the one that wanted a party and didn't tell me about some guy kissing you"

Jackson rolls his eyes "if it helps he wasn't as good as you"

Aaron just gives him a look and says "It doesn't" Jackson laughs "are we ok?" he asks, on a more serious note. Aaron nods "Yeah. I just hate finding things out from Sol"

"I'll tell you next time" Jackson promises and Aaron scoffs "there won't be a next time cause you're not allowed on holiday without me. No one will hit on you if I'm there"

"Let's get back into the party" Jackson drags him back inside the house "you can apologise to Tommy for interrupting our chat"

* * *

It was almost two in the morning when the last person, well almost the last person, walked out of the door.

"See you tomorrow Jackson!" some random guy had yelled out and Aaron replies with a "yeah, yeah" while slamming the door closed.

He sighed, a tired sigh once the door was closed and rested his head against the wood for a moment.

It wasn't until he felt a hand slip up his top and a cool touch on his back that his eyes opened. Without turning around he said "who's left"

There was a soft kiss pressed to his neck followed by Jackson saying "just Adam"

"Great" Aaron says, turning around "he can let himself out then" Aaron sticks his head into the living room "You staying?" he asks Adam and receives a jumbled reply

"Great" Aaron announces flicking off the light switch before grabbing Jackson's hand "we can leave him there and go to bed now" he says pulling the older man up the stairs.

"Aaron" Jackson says "I'm too tired to move"

"Getting old" Aaron says and he is rewarded with a half assed push up the stairs "can't even push me properly"

"Shut up" Jackson tells him and Aaron can hear how tired he is from his voice.

"Don't worry" Aaron tells him as they reach their bedroom door "I'm too tired for any extra activity tonight too" Jackson nods "in the morning though" Aaron promises and Jackson grins "it's a date" he promises him.

Aaron is still awake. He's unsure how long he's been in bed and looking at the clock doesn't help because he's not entirely sure when he got in to bed. Jackson was fast asleep. All Jackson had to do was let his head hit the pillow and the older man fell asleep instantly. Aaron couldn't sleep though. He had thoughts going around in his head. Thoughts about kids. He had wanted to tell Jackson, to discuss it with him but the night dragged on and in the end, well Jackson was asleep and sleep just wouldn't take him.

Aaron finally realised that if he had any chance of getting to sleep he was going to have to wake Jackson up and tell him what was on his mind. He needed to know, he needed to discuss it for his own peace of mind more than anything else.

He turned on his side, propping his head up with his hand and stared at Jackson. He was beautiful when he slept. It was the only time Aaron could look at him, really look, without some smart assed comment from him.

Aaron slid his hand down Jackson's chest lightly, trying to wake him but Jackson could sleep through a bomb, this Aaron knew. "Jackson" he whispered into his ear. He didn't want to shock him awake by making him think there was something wrong.

Jackson moved a little but his eyes didn't open. Aaron rolls his own eyes, this could take a while. His hand slid down over his stomach to the other man's thighs, he squeezed the flesh but still, nothing.

There was no use for it, he was going to have to be cruel. He shook him hard "Jackson!" he said and after a few minutes Jackson sat upright in bed, rubbing his eyes "what's wrong?" he asks, slightly panicked and looking at Aaron.

Aaron smiles at him and pulls him back down in the bed "Nothing" he assures him, leaving over "I just wanted to talk"

"You woke me up to talk?"

Aaron nods

"Couldn't you have woken me for something a little more…fun?" he asks with a huge grin on his face.

"I told you earlier I wanted to talk"

Jackson suddenly remembers their conversation, they had had it in the bedroom "it was so important that you had to wake me?"

Aaron nods

"What is it then?" Jackson asks, worry creeping into his tone "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine" Aaron promises kissing him "I just…" he sighs and his head falls onto Jackson's chest. Jackson's hand immediately cups the back of Aaron's head and he says "you're scaring me now"

Pressing a kiss to Jackson's chest Aaron manages to get himself together "Sorry" he looks into Jackson's eyes "Have you spoke to Tina since you got back?"

Jackson is confused by the question but shakes his head anyway. He hadn't spoken to her since he had been back.

"She came round last Saturday and wanted someone to watch Maddie"

"Oh. Was she annoyed when you wouldn't?"

Aaron shakes his head "No because I did"

He watched as Jackson's eyes widened in surprise "You watched Maddie? On your own? For how long?"

"All night" Aaron tells him "why does everyone react like that? Even you? I'm not stupid you know. I can look after a kid"

"I know. I know" Jackson says quickly "I just…it's not like you. Is it?"

"She needed help. I helped her"

"Is that what you woke me up to tell me?"

"You want to go back to sleep?" Aaron snaps and Jackson's eyebrows lift. Aaron is acting weird "No. I want you to tell me what's wrong with you"

"Doesn't matter" Aaron says, going into a huff "just go back to sleep" with that said he turns on his side and faces away, leaving Jackson to stare at his back.

Jackson wasn't about to leave it or go back to sleep. He pulls Aaron over so he's looking down at him "what is it?" he demands "tell me"

Aaron rolls his eyes and looks away "No"

Jackson sighs dramatically "Aaron. Just spit it out"

"I liked it OK!"

Jackson is confused "You liked what?"

"Maddie…I liked looking after her"

"Oh" Jackson replies. He's unsure what Aaron means exactly "I was thinking…" he trails off not knowing how to say it

"You were thinking?"

"I was thinking that us…you know….thinking about it….wouldn't be such a bad idea"

Jackson was never one to be stupid but when he asked "thinking about what?" Aaron could have hit him for being so stupid.

"Kids" he admits, barely above a whisper "What did you say?" Jackson asks him to repeat because he is sure he couldn't have heard him correctly. This was Aaron. Aaron didn't want kids. He didn't want to be that much of a "freak show"

"Kids" he repeats, louder this time and he looks at Jackson, to see his reaction. Jackson's eyebrows raise and Aaron can see he's clearly shocked by the admission.

"You want kids?"

Aaron nods "I wouldn't hate it" he tells him "I'm not saying I'd be any good cause I'm a bad tempered git but…" he takes Jackson hand in his and entwines their fingers "you'll be there and you can handle that stuff. If your there, I can handle it"

Jackson can't help the grin that spreads over his face "are you serious?"

"Yeah. What do you think?"

Jackson's captures his lips. Showing him what he thinks first of all, when they pull apart he says "I think I love you more…I didn't think that was possible"

Aaron laughs "Thanks…I think"

Another kiss then Jackson says "We don't have to rush into it. We can take our time…see what happens…you could change your mind"

Aaron shakes his head "I won't change my mind" he promises "I want a kid, maybe not a flock but one will do"

Jackson was in total and utter shock. The last thing he ever expected was Aaron to want kids. Aaron wasn't the type to want kids, or at least he hadn't been. "I can't believe you actually want this"

Aaron shrugs "who knew all it would take was me left alone with a four year old for a night?"

Jackson laughs at that and nods. Suddenly he's no longer annoyed by the fact that Aaron woke him up. Not that he had been that annoyed but now he really wasn't.

He knew he wasn't about to get back to sleep, not yet anyway. "Tired?" he asks Aaron.

Aaron shakes his head. A knowing smile on his lips as his hand reaches up and cups the back of Jackson's neck. He pulled him down on top of him and by the time they were finished Aaron didn't have anything stopping him from getting to sleep.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS!


	28. BE28

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - The next chapter will jump the timeline a little! Just so you know! Enjoy this chapter!

* * *

_

It had been three weeks since the night Aaron had woken Jackson up to tell him he wanted to have kids. In three weeks they hadn't spoken about it all that much. Aaron had told Victoria about what he and Jackson had discussed, she was happy for him. He had told Adam too, he had been just as happy as Victoria and said "I won't be babysitting it" Aaron just laughed at that.

They didn't have to rush into kids. They could start looking into it whenever really. Aaron was twenty six and Jackson was twenty nine. It's not like they were running out of time or anything. Aaron had been in the middle of fixing a car when Victoria had come running out of Dale Head and practically dragged him inside

"Victoria! I've got work to do" he complains but allows her to drag him inside anyway. She doesn't stop dragging until she's got him in the living room. Jackson is already sat in the living room. He gives Aaron a confused look "Any idea what's going on?" Aaron asks him as Victoria shoves him down onto the seat beside Jackson.

Jackson merely shakes his head "maybe she's moving you?" he suggest and Aaron pulls a face "she thinks we need to sit down for that?" he asks him "I'm not going to be that devastated" Jackson slaps him on the thigh and says "Shh!" Aaron merely grins.

"What do you want Vic?" Aaron asks with a sigh "I'm not giving you money" he tells her "and neither is he"

She pulls a face "Like I need money" she tells the both of them

"Then what is it you do want?" Aaron asks bluntly. He has work to do.

She clears her throat "I wanna have a baby" she tells them. Aaron's eyebrows pull together and he says "You should tell Adam that. Not us" he goes to stand up but she says "for you two" and that makes him sit back down. Well, it makes him fall back down and stare at her with a blank expression on his face.

"You what?" Aaron asks and Jackson does for "say that again"

With a small smile on her face Victoria says "I've been thinking about it and I wanna have a baby for you two"

Aaron is sitting there shaking his head and Jackson says "No"

Victoria looks at him "Why not?" she asks "It makes sense right? You know me. You trust me"

Jackson is shaking his head and Aaron is still in shock "You're 23 Victoria. You can't have a baby for us. It's a really nice offer but no"

"Why not?" she asks once more "Don't want a kid with my genes? I have good genes" she tells him

"Yeah. Why not?" Aaron asks now that he has gotten over his shock. Why couldn't Victoria have a baby for them?

Jackson looks at Aaron then towards Victoria once more "You're 23. You don't know how much you're gonna love this baby when you have it. You're first baby. You won't be able to hand that over"

"Yes I will" she tells him "Because it won't be my baby. It'll be yours" she tells them "You two deserve it. I can help you. Let me help you"

"We'll think about it" Aaron tells her but Jackson butts in and says "No. I said No"

Victoria looks at him. A hurt look on her face "You're saying No? Because you don't trust me?"

Jackson sighs "I trust you but you've never had a baby. Ask any woman that has. You're going to love this little thing more than anything. You won't be able to hand it over"

"It's not like I'd never see it" she informs him "I'll be having the baby for the best couple I know"

Jackson stands up "Thanks for the offer Victoria but no" with that said he walks out of the living room and the next thing Aaron and Victoria hear is him climbing the stairs.

"I can do this" she tells him "I want to do it. Tell him to let me do it?"

Aaron stands up "He's pretty against it" he tells her "Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't" she stands up also "I've thought about it. You two want a baby. I can give you a baby"

Aaron nods "I'll talk to him" he tells her "but I probably won't be able to change his mind"

He walks out of the living room and Victoria falls onto the couch. She hadn't told anyone what she was planning to do. She wanted to talk to them about it first. She thought they would be up for it. She wasn't stupid. She knew it would be hard to give up her baby but she loved the two of them and they deserved to be happy. She could make them happy.

Grabbing her Jacket she makes her way out of Dale Head and towards the pub. To talk it over with Diane.

Aaron climbs the stairs and finds Jackson sitting on the edge of their bed "hey you" he says sitting down beside him and nudging his shoulder.

"Did I overreact?" he asks and Aaron shrugs "Don't know why you don't want her to do it. She was really nice offering"

Jackson nods at that "I know. I know" he tells him "But Aaron. She's never had a baby before. Women forget all about the pain they've been through when they see that little baby. I don't think they're that easy to give up"

"No but she wouldn't really be giving it up would she? She'd be in its life"

"Yeah but we'd be bringing it up"

"Are you not even going to think about it?"

Before Jackson can answer they hear Ryan shouting "AARON! HURRY UP!"

Aaron rolls his eyes "She pulled me from under a car"

"You better get back" Jackson tells him and Aaron "I trust her" he says "She's giving us the easiest option for having a baby" he tells Jackson "Think about it?"

"Ok" Jackson says, kissing him on the lips quickly "I'll think about it" he promises and Aaron kisses him once more before going back to work.

* * *

Victoria had been in the pub for twenty minutes. She had just finished telling Diane what she planned to do. Diane was looking at her with a blank expression "say something!" Victoria demands

"I don't know what to say…except…WOW!"

Victoria rolls her eyes "Do you think it's stupid?"

"No. No" Diane assures her "What did Aaron and Jackson think?"

"Aaron was up for it, I think. Jackson wasn't because he didn't think I'd be able to hand over the baby"

"Having a baby is a very emotional thing. You love this little thing more than anything" Diane tells her

"I know!" Victoria explains "I'm not stupid but I'd know all the time that it wasn't my baby. It was there's. I want to do this for them Diane. I love them. They deserve it"

Diane nods, she has to agree that the boys' do make a good couple. "I don't know" Diane tells her honestly "I couldn't do it but I'm not you" she pulls her into a hug "if you want to do it. Convince Jackson that you're not going to change your mind but make sure you know what you're getting yourself into" Diane tells her.

"Thanks" Victoria says with a small smile "I've already spoke to my Doctor. I got leaflets and things. I've read about it"

Diane is impressed "Show them to Jackson. He's the one you have to crack"

Aaron got back to the garage and flung himself back into his work. He ignored Ryan's teasing about why he was in the house so long. He had other things on his mind. Like what Victoria had offered for example. He had never, not for one minute expected her to offer that. It was a shock. What was more of a shock though was Jackson flat out saying no. He was the one, out of the two of them that wanted kids more. Aaron could understand where he was coming from but Victoria's offer was their best option. They wouldn't have to put up with social workers or people digging into their lives. That was something Aaron didn't want.

Unbeknown to Aaron Victoria had slipped back into the house. She used the front door which is why he didn't see her. She didn't really want him to see her because she wanted to talk to Jackson on her own. Explain to him that she had thought about this long and hard. She had even spoken to her Doctor about it. This wasn't an instant decision and it wasn't one she was going to retract. She wasn't about to change her mind. She was going to have a baby for them.

He was still upstairs. In his bedroom when she got home. She didn't bother to knock. She knew Aaron was back at work. Pushing open the door she found him laying on his back, arms over his eyes.

"Aaron go back to work" he says when he hears the bedroom door opening. He doesn't look up; he's just assuming it was Aaron.

"Not Aaron" Victoria says, closing the door behind her. Jackson pulls himself up into a sitting position "Oh. Hey" he offers her a weak smile and she smiles back.

"Can I sit beside you?" she asks and Jackson nods. She fits herself onto the bed beside him. There's an awkward silence between the pair of them.

"Changed your mind about having kids then?" she asks, to break the silence.

His head falls into his hands and he sighs "of course I do" he tells her "I just…"

"You just don't trust me?"

"I trust you" he tells her "I just…you don't know what it's going to be like"

"Neither do you" she reminds him "you don't know that I'm going to ever want kids. I don't know if I do. I know you and Aaron do though and I know I can help you"

"You don't know what's involved. It's complicated. Thanks but…We can't accept it"

"Actually" Victoria says "I do know" she pulls the leaflets and information given to her by her Doctor from her pocket. She had picked them up out of her room on her way upstairs. She throws them onto Jackson's lap.

"I told you" she tells him "I've given this a lot of thought"

Jackson looks at the leaflets she has thrown into his lap. He can't believe it. She seems to have done her research.

"I love you two" she tells him "and after everything. You deserve a baby. I'm going to help you out there"

Jackson isn't about to give in. Victoria knows this and she lifts a leaflet out of his hand and starts explaining what the Doctor told her.

They weren't aware of the time as they sat in the bedroom, on the bed. Discussing the topic. Jackson was impressed with how much research Victoria had done into the surrogacy thing. She had given it a lot of thought. He could see that.

* * *

It wasn't until Aaron came walking through the bedroom door that they finally realised how long they had been talking.

"You two been up here all afternoon?" Aaron asks as he makes his way towards the bed. Victoria and Jackson look at each other "What time is it?" she asks

"Half five" he tells them "I left here before two. You been here all that time?" Aaron asks coming to stand at the side of Jackson. Unconsciously while looking at the two of them Aaron's hand finds its way onto Jackson's head, running his fingers through his hair.

"We've been having a chat" Victoria says with a grin. Aaron's eyebrows lift and he says "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah" Jackson says looking up at Aaron "She's kinda talked me round"

A smile breaks out onto Aaron's face "really?" he asks looking between the two of them "Good job" he tells her "I didn't think I would even be able to do that"

Jackson laughs "She's persuasive"

"Got something to tell me you two?" Aaron asks with laugh. Victoria jumps up and launches herself at Aaron, causing him to stumble back and removing his hand from Jackson's hair.

"We're having a baby!" she exclaims and Aaron looks at Jackson "We are?"

Jackson pulls a face. He hadn't spoken to Aaron, not really "If you want to…that is"

Victoria pulls her arms from around Aaron's neck and looks between the two of them "You can't back out now!" she tells the two of them "You're having a kid!" she grins "with me"

Aaron nods "I'm up for it" he tells the two of them.

Victoria looks at them and says "So…which one of you is knocking me up?"

They boys' look at each other, eyes widening and Victoria continues "Jackson!" she says "I was thinking we could try it the old fashioned way"

Jackson gets to his feet and laughs "If it's the old fashioned way you're after" he nods at Aaron "Aaron here will have to be the one you go to" he tells her with a smile "Woman don't do it for me"

Aaron pulls his eyebrows together "and they do it for me?" Aaron barks then after a minute adds "so you wouldn't mind me sleeping with someone else as long as it was a woman?"

Jackson shrugs "Seeing you try to sleep with a woman would be funny" Jackson admits "You'd try…I know nothing would happen"

Aaron punches him in the arm and says "Shut up" he turns to Victoria "what happens now?"

"We go see a Doctor and he tells us where to go from there" she tells him "I'm going to go see Adam" she tells them "I'll see you later" with that she walks out leaving them to discuss it alone. She sensed they needed some time. She was starving. She grabbed her coat and ran out of Dale Head toward the Woolpack.

"She's subtle" Aaron says "A kid with her genes? Are we sure we want that?"

Jackson doesn't reply he just grabs Aaron's belt and pulls him closer. Their lips meet and their tongues touch, before Aaron takes control and slips his hand behind Jackson's head, deepening the kiss. Both of them are fast losing the ability to breath and Aaron finally pulls away, allowing them both to catch their breaths. Foreheads touching and smiles on their faces the two of them let out a little laugh.

"If we have a kid…we can still do this…right?" Aaron asks as he struggles to even his breathing out. "What kiss?"

"Well…that and more"

Jackson loves how cute Aaron is and he presses a kiss to the tip of the mechanic's nose "Course" he tells him "We won't be the one having it. Women go off sex after they have a baby…not men"

"Great!" Aaron says "Cause I think I'd explode"

Jackson rolls his eyes because he believes that. Aaron hates going without sex. Jackson doesn't like it all that much either but he can last longer without it than Aaron. After a few minutes of silence Aaron asks

"Are we really doing this?"

Jackson takes a deep breath and as he exhales he says "Yeah. I think we are. Scared?"

"Terrified" Aaron admits "But…I'll get over it. Sooner or later"

After another quick kiss Jackson pulled Aaron out of there room "Let's go to the pub and eat. I'm starving" Jackson tells him and Aaron says "Well…no wonder you sat in our bedroom all day"

"Shut up" Jackson says affectionately

"Are you not going to complain that I'm too dirty to go out? Like you usually do?"

Jackson looks him up and down. He's a little dirty but Jackson can live with it "Nah" he tells him with a smile "I'm looking forward to helping you clean up when we get home"

Aaron pushes him out of the door as quick as he can. The quicker they ate the sooner they got come and the sooner Jackson helped him get clean.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	29. BE29

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Are you getting bored of this story? Want me to end it? Let me know! I don't want to bore you!

* * *

_

It was three months since Victoria had offered to have a baby for them. In the first few weeks nothing happened. They were all getting used to the idea, then after a few visits to the Doctor thinks started to progress. It was done through 'Artificial Insemination' and neither of them wanted to know which one of them had been successful in getting her pregnant. They asked that they didn't get told which of their sperm had been "successful" and Victoria didn't want to know either. She didn't want to know something they didn't because sooner or later she would end up telling them.

Providing the 'specimen' for the Doctor had been the hardest part. For Aaron anyway but luckily for them they Doctor said they could take it home and that they didn't have to do it in some clinic. That was easier. It was easier because that way…they could help each other. They did and a few days after having been asked for the 'specimen' the Doctor had it back.

It didn't happen the first time they tried and for that Aaron was annoyed because they were having to pay for it and it was costing £600 each time. It didn't happen the second either and Aaron was becoming annoyed. He had other things he could spend that money on. Third time was the charm though and it was successful. That had been just over a month ago, which meant that Victoria was almost five weeks gone.

Both men were looking forward to it. They were scared, extremely but they were excited too. Some people in the village when they found out reacted negatively but after a few choice words from Victoria and a few threats from Aaron people moved on.

Jackson had left the house at half seven that morning, he left Aaron asleep in bed when he returned at four thirty the house was in silence.

"Victoria? Aaron?" he calls out but there's nothing as his reply. He heads through to the kitchen and out into the back "Ryan" he calls out spotting him by a car. Ryan looks around "Seen Aaron?"

Ryan scoffs and says "I wish" he nods at Chuck who's laying just inside the garage doors "Victoria told me I was watching him and that Aaron wasn't making it to work today"

Jackson's pulled a face that was the first he had heard. He had sent Aaron a couple of texts throughout the day that had gone unanswered and he's just assumed Aaron was busy.

Back inside the house Jackson listened for any sort of movement but he couldn't hear any, after a few minutes he made his way to their bedroom. He didn't know what to expect but Aaron still laying in bed wasn't what he expected. The bedroom blinds were still closed and the curtains were still pulled. Kicking off his boots Jackson made his way to the bed and sat by Aaron's hip.

"Aaron" he says running his hand over his shaven head. It takes a few minutes but Aaron eyes open, slowly. He squints in the darkness as his eyes try to adjust "hey" he smiles sleepily and Jackson cocks an eyebrow at him "been in bed since I left this morning?"

"What time is it?" Aaron mumbles as he gets himself more comfortable "after half four" Jackson tells him as he rests his head against Aaron's forehead, he feels a little warm "what's wrong?" he asks

"Got the flu" he mumbles as he sticks his head into the pillow "didn't feel like getting up and going to work"

"Not going to be able to do that when we have a kid, you know"

Aaron opens his eyes and focuses on Jackson "Yeah" he agrees "but we don't for a few more months so I can do what I want until then" he tells him with a small smile and Jackson rolls his eyes.

"Why didn't you call me?" he queries running his finger down the side of Aaron's face. Aaron pulls a face and says "why would I call you?"

"Cause your sick" he says as if Aaron had just asked the stupidest question ever "I would have looked after you"

Aaron tuts and says "Hardly. It's one of the two days you go to work. Wasn't going to pull you away from that cause I have a cold"

"Thought you said it was the flu?"

"Flu, cold, same thing really"

Jackson rolls his eyes. Aaron is barely ever ill but when he is, he milks it. He just stays in bed until he feels better. Not that Jackson minds because usually he stays with him.

"Are you hungry?" Jackson asks but Aaron doesn't answer him. His eyes are once again closed and he's trying to fall back to sleep "have you had anything to eat?" Jackson asks again, this time in a more demanding tone

Aaron sighs and without opening his eyes he says "No. I'm not hungry"

"I'll get you something to eat" Jackson stands up

"Jackson!" Aaron exclaims forcing his eyes open and sitting up a little "I said NO!"

Jackson ignores him but as he walks out of the room he says "I said yes"

Aaron falls back down onto the bed with a thumb. He loved him, really he did but sometimes he was the most annoying person Aaron had ever laid eyes on.

Twenty minutes later Aaron had just managed to fall back asleep when Jackson came in the room calling "wake up sleeping beauty"

Aaron groaned and rolled over, facing away from him. It didn't work and it didn't stop him because a couple of seconds later Aaron felt the head being snatched away from him as Jackson whipped the duvet from the bed and off of him.

"Jackson!" he exclaims trying to catch it but Jackson was quicker than him. "Get up" Jackson demands but Aaron shakes his head and says "push off" he lays back down on his stomach, determined he wasn't going anywhere.

"If you don't get up I'll just stand here and nag until you do"

Aaron scoffs "like that makes a change. I'll do what I usually do. I'll ignore you"

Jackson scoffs "You'll try but you can never ignore me for too long. Get up"

* * *

Aaron debates ignoring him but then his stomach rumbles for what has to be the 100th time that day. He was hungry but couldn't he have just brought whatever he had cooked up to the bedroom?

"Bring it up here" he tells him but Jackson is adamant that Aaron is moving from that bed "Get out the bed Aaron"

"Fine!" he says and pulls himself up. Jackson can't help but grin as he follows Aaron out of the bedroom "don't know what you're grinning at. I hate you"

"Sure you do" Jackson replies with a roll of his eyes "you'd get out of bed for a lot of people you hate wouldn't"

Aaron wants to say _'yeah, to deck them'_ but he doesn't, instead he just grunts.

Twenty minutes later and Aaron has finished eating Jackson's food "don't you feel better?" Jackson asks sarcastically

"Maybe" he tells him "But I'm still going back to bed" he says with a thin smile while dumping his empty dishes in the sink "and before you start moaning I'll wash them myself in the morning"

Jackson dumps his dishes in the sink also and says "I'm not about to moan, shut up"

Aaron smirks "You shut up"

The gap between them is closing, Jackson's getting closer to him but before he can reach out, before he can touch him Aaron is turning and running up the stairs.

After a few seconds confusion Jackson is following him upstairs. Aaron was in the bathroom, emptying the contents of his stomach. Jackson joined him in the bathroom, his hand on the small of his back "You alright?" he asks after he has stopped being sick. Aaron nods but doesn't move away from the bowl, not yet anyway. Jackson grabs the glass by the sink and fills it with water "drink this" he tells him "slowly"

Aaron takes the glass and does as he's told "Hope it wasn't my cooking" Jackson says, trying to lighten the mood. Aaron lets out a small laugh "You would have killed me before now" he says. He manages to set the glass on the floor before throwing up once more. Jackson is still there, beside him, a slightly worried look on his face. He runs a face cloth under the cold tab and hands it to Aaron "done yet?"

Aaron takes the face cloth and wipes his face "you hate people being sick. What you doing here?"

Jackson rolls his eyes because he had answered this question the countless times he had witnessed Aaron being sick "People Aaron. Not you" he answers him with the same answer he always gives.

"Suppose you better get used to it" Aaron says, sitting against the wall by the toilet, looking up at Jackson who is crouched down in front of him "babies are sick a lot, I think"

Jackson smiles at that and leans forward, brushing his lips over Aaron's forehead "I'll cope" he tells him "done being sick?"

Aaron nods "Think so"

"Come on then" Jackson says as he grabs his arm and helps him stand "let's get you back to bed"

"Didn't think you'd let me go back to bed"

"You're sick" Jackson says simply "been trying to tell you that" Aaron replies, nudging his shoulder, it was a poor effort because he was weak from being ill.

When they get into the bedroom Aaron makes straight for the bed and lies down. Jackson changes out of work clothing into something a little more clean.

"You're on my side of the bed" Jackson tells him. Aaron opens one eye and stares at him "So?"

"So" Jackson says lifting the remote and switching the TV on "I'm staying up here with you" he pushes Aaron over a little as he lays on the bed, resting his back against the headboard.

Aaron's hand falls over his waist as he says "Don't have to stay with me, go out. I'll be alright" he says this but he pulls himself closer to Jackson's body as he talks. One of Jackson's hands goes onto Aaron's head. Running his fingers through the short hairs there, a comforting gesture for both of them men.

"I'm good right here" Jackson assures him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and watching the end of the news.

At some point Jackson must have fallen asleep also because when Victoria comes home, it's strange to find the house so quiet at half past eight at night when both of their cars were parked outside.

"Hey boy!" she says clapping Chuck as she walks in "Where are they, huh?"

She leaves Chuck sitting on the sofa in the living room after having switched the lights on and the TV then climbs the stairs. When she pushes open their room door, after knocking and receiving no reply, she pushes it open cautiously because she doesn't want an eyeful, they could be getting up to anything in _their _bedroom.

What she sees though makes her smile. There both on the bed. Aaron is under the duvet and Jackson is on top of it. They're both asleep. Aaron with his arm around Jackson's waist and Jackson's head is resting on top of Aaron's.

It's times like these. The times that no one else gets to see that Victoria knows she's doing the right thing. She's having a baby for the right people and they will be amazing. If they loved the baby half as much as they loved each other. It was a very lucky baby.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? WANT MORE? LET ME KNOW!


	30. BE30

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Hope you enjoy! This chapter has jumped a few months from the last!

* * *

_

Jackson was the builder and he was a pretty frigging could one at that, Aaron wasn't a builder, he didn't want to be, nor did he want to be a handy man. So he was currently wondering just why the hell he thought this would be a good idea.

He was standing in Dale Head, in the room that would be the baby's when it was born. It wasn't far away now, well four months. It was currently October and the baby wasn't due until sometime in February. Aaron was trying not to think too much about it. Victoria wasn't showing you wouldn't know she was pregnant by looking at her. He was trying not to think about it which is why when he woke up that morning with this idea; he had no idea where it came from.

He decided to turn the spare room into a nursery, or something that resembled a nursery anyway because he had no idea what they were meant to look like. Jackson had left for work, he wasn't working so he had headed into town to buy what he needed, and it was going alright. He built the cot; it hadn't taken as long as he thought. He got that out of the way first thinking it would take him the longest. He was now painting, he had picked yellow. It was a neutral colour and he could handle the walls being painted yellow. He had spent a fortune; he just hoped Victoria and Jackson appreciated his efforts, Jackson more than Victoria obviously.

He had lost track of time, he had been in the spare room with nothing but a radio and a six pack of lager since around midday. He was enjoying himself, a little anyway. He had been texting Jackson on and off, ignoring Jackson when he asked what he was doing he had just replied _"waiting on you"_ because he was waiting on him. He hoped he wouldn't be too pissed that he had done it all himself. Jackson enjoyed getting his hands dirty.

Aaron had finished painting, the paint was dry and he was almost finished building the other things he had bought. The woman in the shop must have thought it was her lucky day because Aaron who knew nothing needed advice. She had given him it and made him spend a fortune in the process.

With the radio on and his phone sitting by it, he had missed a text from Jackson. The text telling him that Jackson was on his way home which is why, when he heard the front door opening followed by Jackson's voice calling out his name, he was shocked.

He looked around the room. It was basically finished. He didn't have much else to do, except figure out how the hell the bedding he had bough fitted into the cot.

He heard Jackson's footsteps on the stairs "Where are you?"

"In here" Aaron replied and he heard Jackson push open their room door "in where?"

Aaron rolls his eyes because sometimes, sometimes Jackson was stupid "spare room"

Two seconds later Jackson pushes open the door and whatever he was about to say dies on his lips when he sees what Aaron has done. His mouth drops open and Aaron's eyebrows pull together "do you hate it?" he asks, suddenly nervous.

Jackson's mouth opens and closes a couple of times as he looks between Aaron and the room "We can change it if…" Aaron didn't get to finish his sentence because Jackson had yanked on the overalls he had on and pulled him flush against his body, his lips crashing onto Aaron. Aaron didn't wait too long or protest about it, he gave himself into the kiss. There was still some doubt though, did he like it?

"Do you like it then?" Aaron asks, he's a little breathless but he has to have an answer. Jackson grins at him and says "Of course I do you Muppet!" they share a quick kiss. When they pull back Jackson smirking "Who are you and what have you done with Aaron?" Jackson teases

Aaron rolls his eyes "I just thought…you know with you being the builder everyone, you included probably thought this would be left to you"

Jackson had to nod at that because he thought he would be left to sort all this stuff out by himself. It wasn't really an Aaron thing to do.

"And people have the nerve to wonder what I see in you" Jackson mumbles to him and before Aaron can pull a face and demand to know who says that, Jackson is once again closing the distance between the two of them. Only this time it didn't stop at kiss and before either of them knew it they were on the floor, celebrating their newly painted room.

Aaron rolled onto his back and off of Jackson, panting heavily as he tried to get his breath back. Jackson was having the same trouble as he tried to control his breathing "well…" he says between breaths "that was unexpected"

Aaron laughs and rolls onto his side, propping his head up on his shoulder, looking down at Jackson "Imagine what people would say…if they caught us at it in our kids room"

Jackson scoffs "probably the same as they say or think now. We're living in sin as it is, aren't we. We'll be bringing the kid up in sin too" he rolls his eyes and Aaron smirks "yeah" he presses a soft kiss to Jackson's lips "I kinda like it" he admits before trying to deepen the kiss.

"Mmmm!" Jackson moans into the kiss his hand resting on Aaron's stomach and pushing him away "we have to get up" Jackson says. Always the sensible one and Aaron sits up, his back now to Jackson "yeah, guess we should" he admits, reaching for a pair of boxers. There not his and he throws them at Jackson "before Vic gets home"

"Wouldn't be the first time she's caught us"

Aaron turns a little red at the memory of the last time Victoria had caught them in a compromising position. It had only been a couple of weeks ago. Jackson had been in the shower and he was taking too long for Aaron's liking so he had joined him, forgetting in his haste to lock the door behind him. Ten minutes later, while they were "busy" she walked in. It was mortifying, for Aaron anyway. Jackson and Victoria found it rather hilarious.

"Get up you" Aaron says as he pulls on his jeans and throwing Jackson's own jeans as him.

Five minutes later the two of them are fully dressed and Jackson is looking around the room, still in shock that Aaron actually did it all on his own "I'm impressed" he tells him "it's almost as good a job as I would have done"

"Almost" Aaron scoffs rolling his eyes "You know you couldn't have done better than me"

"Keep telling yourself that" Jackson says as he slaps Aaron's ass on his way out of the room. Aaron follows him after a minute "you better be making me something to eat now"

Jackson laughs to himself but doesn't answer him because when they get downstairs he will make Aaron something to eat. Not because he asked or because he demanded it but because he deserved it. After what he had done with the spare room, Jackson just wanted to thank him, show him how grateful he was. He would do that by feeding him and then by showing him, in bed later tonight.

They're in the middle of dinner when Victoria gets home, she walks into the kitchen and scoffs "oh yeah?" she nods at then "feed yourself but not the Mother of your kid"

Aaron rolls his eyes and Jackson smirks "It's in the oven"

Victoria grins and rubs her hands together "thank god!" she tells them "cause I'm starving"

"Carefull fatty" Aaron says and can't help but laugh at himself but he receives a slap on the shoulder from both Jackson and Victoria. He lifts his hands in surrender and says "Sorry" but his smirk tells them he clearly isn't sorry.

"You should check out the spare room" Jackson says, changing the subject "Aaron's been busy today"

"He has?" she asks "I'll check it out on my way up, I'm gonna eat this" she lifts up her plate "in my bedroom"

* * *

Once Jackson and Aaron have finished their dinner and they are sat watching the TV. Victoria had yet to come back downstairs. They could hear the shower running.

Jackson dropped his hand onto Aaron's thigh and ran it over it onto his knee. Aaron turned his attention from the TV and onto Jackson, his hand dropping on top of Jackson's "what's up?" he asks, knowing Jackson well enough to know that he had something on his mind.

"I've been thinking"

"Hmm…bout what?" Aaron asks, flicking his gaze between the TV and Jackson

"That now we know we're having a girl and how me and you will never agree on a name that we should let Victoria pick it?"

Aaron's eyebrows rise and his head nods as he thinks it over before nodding and saying "Yeah…We'd suck at it. It'll be good for her to pick it, right?"

Jackson nods and says "I think so"

That was that settled then, when Victoria came back downstairs they would tell her that it was up to her to decide on a name for their daughter because they just wouldn't be able to agree.

It's a while before Victoria comes back downstairs and Jackson wonders just what she's up to because it's not like her to stay upstairs for so long. Before he can dwell on it she comes into the living room and drops onto the sofa opposite them. She eyes Aaron who currently is lying on Jackson, with his head in his lap.

"Why didn't you paint it pink?" she asks and Aaron looks over at her and scrunches his face up "I'm not a pink kinda guy"

Victoria gives him a look and says "I'm having a girl; chances are she's going to like pink?"

Aaron shrugs as best he can from his position and says "Not going to force it on her from birth am i?"

Victoria shakes her and laughs "It's good she tells him but Jackson would have done a better job"

"Thank you!" Jackson exclaims "that's what I was trying to tell him!"

Aaron grumbles something neither of them can make out and Jackson's hand slips up inside Aaron's top, running his fingers over Aaron's stomach in a way he knows he likes.

"We've been thinking" Jackson says, directing his comment at Victoria "Bout' what?"

"We think you should chose the name for the baby"

Jackson watches as her face lights up, Aaron isn't paying attention to her and she says "Really"

"Really" Jackson confirms and the next thing they know Victoria has launched herself at them and ends up with her arms wrapped round Jackson's neck and lying practically on top of Aaron.

"Get off" Aaron complains trying to push her but she doesn't move until she's satisfied she's hugged him enough then plants a loud smacker of a kiss on Aaron's cheek.

"I'm going to see Adam" she tells them "He'll be coming back with me, later"

"Yeah, yeah" Jackson calls out and hears the door close.

As soon as the door is closed Aaron looks up at him "Fancy going upstairs?" he asks, with a grin on his face "thought we were watching this" Jackson says nodding at the TV.

"Yeah" Aaron agrees "but if she's bringing Adam back he's going to want to stay up, have a can or something" he tells him "then we'll never get to bed"

Jackson shakes his head and presses a quick kiss to Aaron's forehead "alright then" he pushes Aaron up. Jackson stands up and extends his hand, pulling Aaron to his feet

"It's shocking you now" Jackson tells him as they head upstairs "running away from your best mate"

Aaron turns around and backs Jackson into the wall at the foot of the stairs "you won't be saying that in ten minutes"

Jackson scoffs "It'll be all over in ten minutes"

Aaron's eyes widen and he says "you're so dead" with that Jackson heads up the stairs with Aaron hot on his heels.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? WANT TO KNOW MORE?


	31. BE31

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Hope you enjoy. P/S - I kinda wish people who didn't like my opinions wouldn't read my fic. It's a bit stupid to do it if you ask me. Hey ho! Enjoy! For everyone who reviews! THANK YOU!_

* * *

February 15th. Aaron and Jackson were stood in the maternity ward of Hotten General, waiting. They weren't alone. Andy, Adam and Diane were with them. Well, Diane was in the delivery suite with Victoria. None of the men could stomach, so they stood outside.

Jackson was sitting on one of the cold, hard plastic chairs beside Adam, Andy was sitting on the floor and Aaron was standing against the wall, tapping his foot impatiently.

"She's been in there hours" Adam says in that stupid way of his.

"She's having a kid" Andy scoffs "it isn't over in a flash you know"

"How would you know, ever had one?" Adam countered with and Andy smirked "Uh, Sarah?"

Adam rolls his eyes "she had her in a shed, were you even there?"

Before either of the two of them can say anything else Aaron snaps "will the two of you shut up before I kick you out?"

Jackson stands up and makes his way over to him, to see if he's alright because up until that outburst he had been remarkably quiet. "Hey, you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" he snaps at him and Jackson lifts his eyebrows. Aaron immediately feels bad "sorry" he shrugs "nervous" he adds with a small smile.

"It's alright" Jackson says running his hand up and down Aaron's arm.

Just then the door to the delivery suite pushes open and out walks Diane, she looks around "argh!" she says spotting them "she wants you two in there with her, now"

Jackson and Aaron both shake their heads but Diane says "don't argue with a woman in labour, god knows what she'll do"

They share a look then Jackson pulls Aaron's arm, pulling him away from the wall then pushes him into the room, following Diane.

"Where the hell have you two been?" Victoria demands as soon as they walk in "leaving me to do this all on my own are you?"

"Not much we can do is there?" Aaron replies sarcastically "you're the one that has to push it out"

"I hate you" she tells him and he grins "I hate you too" he replies.

Jackson stands by the top of her bed and takes her hand "Hey" Victoria faces him and smiles "hey" she says "it's bloody painful"

"Sorry" he apologises and she has to laugh "this was all my idea. Stupid me"

Aaron and Jackson share a look while Diane talks to Victoria "you two" she says to get their attention which they give her, right away "decided what's happening then?"

"What you on about?" Aaron asks " that gas going to your head?"

"Well!" she barks at them "she's going to need a surname, isn't she?"

Aaron scoffs and says "she's going to need a first name too, how's that going?" he's rewarded with a slap from both Victoria and Jackson. He just scowls at them, shrugs and says "it's the truth"

"I was thinking…" she cut of her sentence to scream, loud which caused both Jackson and Aaron to jump. "Can I go and leave you here?" Aaron asks but Jackson shakes his head "No" he tells him simply and Aaron pulls a face "Thank god I'm not a woman. Screw pushing one of them out of that"

Jackson laughs and Victoria zeros in on him "something funny?" she asks his eyes immediately widen and he bites his lip "not so much"

"I was thinking Ava" she says after the contraction subsides for a minute, Aaron and Jackson both turn their noses up at that. She tries again "Leah?" again, they don't like it.

"Ella?"

Again they shake their heads and she snaps "you told me it was up to me so I'm chosing you'll have to like it or lump it" she tells them "anyway is it going to be Livesy or Walsh? And who's going down as Dad on the birth certificate seen as how you didn't want to know which one of you is the biological father"

It was another forty five minutes and then she was born. The nurses tried to hand her to Victoria first but she shook her head and nodded at them "give her to them" the nurse attempted to hand her to Aaron but Jackson shook his head. He knew Victoria should hold her and said "her first" with that the nurse placed the little girl into Victoria's arms.

Victoria grinned and said "hey baby girl, I actually did it"

Jackson and Aaron moved closer to the bed, as did Diane. Victoria looked up at them and said "you're turn" Aaron stepped back, he was scared which earned him a look from Jackson and Victoria

"I'll drop her" he says but Victoria shakes her head "You'll have to learn sometime"

Victoria placed her into Aaron's arms and smiled, Aaron was so awkward it was funny. Jackson bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. It wouldn't please Aaron.

Jackson looked at Vic "are you alright?" he asks her and her head falls back against the pillow "tired" she tells him "and sore but it was worth it". He smiles at her "you alright but everything else?"

"She's yours" Victoria tells them "I've always known that. I love her but I can see her anytime I want and she's got the best people I know looking after her"

Jackson nods "and, you'll be living in the same house as each other for as long as you want"

Victoria pulls a face "you don't want me to move out?"

"Why would we want that?" Aaron demands to know as he passes the little girl to Jackson. Victoria shrugs because she just assumed they would want her to move out "It's your home. You're there until you get married at least" he scoffs "which will probably be never, cause who'd want you?"

"I don't have the energy to slap you" she tells him "but if I could, I would"

Jackson passes the baby to Diane, who had been itching to hold her "Casey" Victoria says and the boys' look at her "her name's Casey"

Aaron nods "I like it" he tells her and Jackson nods "Casey Walsh it is" Aaron says "you what?" Jackson asks because he doesn't know when this was decided. Aaron looks at him "You're going on the birth certificate with Victoria"

"When did we decide this?"

"We didn't" Aaron says "I just did"

Victoria just listens to them, she doesn't say anything and Aaron looks at her, she smiles at him faintly and he looks back at Jackson "don't argue with me Walsh"

"Alright Livesy" Jackson replies with a smirk "Just this once" he promises and Aaron looks at him "you always do what I tell you anyway"

After that the boys' got removed from the room as they moved Victoria into a ward. They handed her back to Victoria and said "we'll see you at the ward"

It was another hour before they were allowed onto the ward. Diane, Adam and Andy had left, telling them they would be back later. Jackson had gone to the shop, probably to buy the whole shop but Aaron didn't go with him. He wanted to talk to Victoria.

She was wide awake looking at Casey when Aaron approached "alright?" she asks and he nods "where's Jackson?"

Aaron shrugs "buying the shop downstairs? You know what he's like"

Victoria smiles at that, she does know. Looking back at Aaron he has a serious look on his face "what's up?" she asks him

"You know don't you?" he simply says. Victoria can't look at him, she focuses on the baby and he sighs "We said we weren't going to find out Vic"

She pulls a face "I know" she says looking up at him "but you know what I'm like"

"Who is it then?" he asks

"Thought you didn't want to know?"

"It's me, isn't it?" he asks and Victoria bites her lip and nods. Aaron takes a deep breath "He doesn't find out, alright?" he tells her in no uncertain terms.

"He'll not care, he loves you"

"He doesn't find out. He doesn't find out we know either cause that'll just cause an argument"

"Ok" Victoria agrees with a nod of her head just in time to see Jackson walk through the door "hold her" she says indicating to Casey and Aaron shrugs, he's still scared "practise makes perfect" she tells him and with a roll of his eyes he picks the little girl up and cradles her in his arms.

* * *

One week later and they were back at home. It was just the three of them Aaron, Jackson and Casey. Victoria had flown to Spain with Adam to give them some time alone and to get herself together. She was away for three weeks, they still had just over two weeks until she came back home.

Aaron was in the bedroom getting dressed when Jackson walked in carrying the baby "she alright?" Aaron asks. She had been crying but Jackson had gone to get her while he got dressed "Yeah, think she just wanted company".

"What time is hurricane Hazel appearing?" Aaron asks. Hazel had been trying to get to them ever since she found out about the baby, it took her a week but she was finally arriving back in England. Jackson laughs at him "she's going to be unbareable" he tells him and replies with "don't I know it".

Aaron closes the distance between himself and Jackson. He runs his hand over the little girls head softly while looking at her, then back at Jackson "She better not try to interfere or tell us we're doing something wrong" he says "cause I'll kick her out"

"I'll stop her" Jackson promises "are you picking her up?" he asks Aaron with a hopeful glint in his eye. Aaron pulls a face and says "can't you?"

Jackson nods "yeah, I guess. Just thought you would, you know seen as how you love me so much"

"Haha" Aaron says sarcastically "I don't love you that much" with that he presses a quick kiss onto his lips "Need to walk Chuck, you two coming?"

Being in the village was at first, a little awkward. They got some weird looks and Aaron managed to keep his temper in check and not lash out at them. Jackson had been happy about that, what he didn't bank on was Victoria going off at anyone who looked like they may be talking about them. She sure put them in their place. They didn't get any weird looks or hushed whispers when they passed people now.

They had just stepped outside of Dale Head when they hear "Oi! You!" Aaron turned around to see Ryan looking at him "What?" he yelled back as the foursome made their way towards the garage "when you coming back to the garage? You're leaving me and what's his face to do all the work"

Aaron laughs "I'll be back when I'm back" he tells him simply "bit more going on than the garage, anyway you can cope"

"Didn't say I couldn't cope" he tells him "but I'd rather look at you're ugly mug than his" he nods at the trainee they had working for them and Aaron just laughs "ah well!" he says slapping him on the shoulder.

Ryan scrunches his face up and smirks at them "Look at you two, old men now, huh? No more late night drinking"

Aaron scoffs and says "you're older than us, Granddad" Jackson shakes his head "Are we walking this dog or what?"

"Yeah, we are" Aaron agrees "See you later Ryan!"

"See ya!" he waves them off.

Hazel had been back in the village for two days and as Aaron suspected, she was overbearing, always trying to tell them what to do. Aaron had snapped at her a few times but what surprised him more than anything was the fact that Jackson also put her in her place more than once, not that it stopped her.

Aaron was in the kitchen making something to eat and Jackson was sitting at the dining table, talking to him when she walked in "Right boys!" she says clapping her hands together "I'm giving you the night off"

They both look at each other, slightly confused "you're what?"

"Well, you've been cooped up in here since she was born, go out, let your hair down. I've got her"

Jackson shakes his head "Mum, we're fine" Aaron nods his agreeing "Go" she says simply "you need to, celebrate her, something, just get out"

Jackson looks at Aaron and shrugs "we could go for a pint or two"

Aaron pulls a face then agrees, it had been two weeks and they hadn't been out, not together anyway. It could do them good.

In the end they ended up at Bar West. "Is your phone on?" Aaron asks for what must have been the hundredth time

"Yes Aaron" Jackson sighs "My Mum does know what she's doing" he tells him "it should be me worried, not you"

Jackson kisses him "what was that for?" Aaron asks when they pull apart, his hand finding its way onto Jackson's thigh "do I need a reason to kiss you these days?"

"Course not" Aaron replies with a laugh then kisses Jackson "what was that for?" Jackson asks, teasingly when they pull apart and Aaron surprises him by saying "cause you make me happy"

Jackson smiles at the honestly in Aaron's voice "and I never thought I could be this happy"

"Me too" Jackson tells him because he never thought he would end up here. He had a house, a husband, a kid and he was doing what he loved, maybe not as often as he wanted to but his life was pretty perfect.

The Bar fills up quickly and they are joined by Jackson's mates and for once, Aaron doesn't complain, he goes along with it. Even when they start making jokes about their life and about them settling down with a kid, he doesn't over react. He just laughs and drinks his pint.

They fumble through the door of Dale Head at 2am in the morning, "Shh!" Jackson says as he stumbles up the stairs, his arms around Aaron's neck as he kisses him and backs him up the stairs "you shhh!" Aaron retorts as they push their bedroom door open and fall onto the bed.

They had stripped each other of most of their clothing, they were well on their way to getting naked when a piercing cry broke the silence in the house. Both heads turned in the direction of the door. Aaron's head fell onto Jackson's shoulder, he pressed a kiss to the exposed skin "I'll get her" Jackson says trying to get up but Aaron shakes his head "Nah, I'll get her" he tells him, kissing his lips quickly. "Damn it!" Aaron swore as he left the bedroom, he met Hazel as she came out of her bedroom he shook his head and said "go back to bed" she nodded and did as he said.

When he walked into the room, the nursery where his daughter slept, his annoyance at being disturbed disappeared. She came first, for the two of them. It was just sex, yeah he wanted it and he loved it but it's not as if they'd never have it again, right now, Casey needed them more than they needed sex. He picked her up and cradled her against his chest as he walked to the kitchen to prepare her a bottle. Once the bottle was prepared, she had fallen asleep on his chest.

At the top of the stairs, instead of taking her back into her own room Aaron walked into his. Jackson was still awake, lying under the duvet flicking through the TV stations "hey" his face lights up when he sees Aaron and Casey "thought I'd bring her in here for bit"

"Great idea"

Just like that Aaron settles down onto the bed, his back against the headboard and their little girl cradled safely in his arms. It wasn't how he planned on the night ending but it was a pretty good substitute.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? WANT MORE? LET ME KNOW!


	32. BE32

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Three year jump in this chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

_

Morning and Victoria was just coming out her room as Jackson was exiting his "Hey" she smiles at him "you alright?"

Jackson nods "Yeah" he smiles faintly "guess you heard us last night then?"

Victoria nods "Kind hard not to" she tells him "you were screaming at each other"

Jackson takes a deep breath and runs his hand over his face "Yeah" he says "I don't even know where he is, he stormed out and didn't come home"

Aaron and Jackson had had an argument the previous night which resulted in Aaron storming out. Jackson had tried to stay up, waiting on him coming home but eventually he had fallen asleep. He had hoped Aaron would come home and climb into their bed but he had woken up to an empty bed.

"Just gonna check on Casey" Jackson tells her "She didn't get up during the night, first time in a while"

Victoria nods and says "Yeah and I know the reason for that" she motions for him to follow her and he does, to Casey's room. She pushes the door open as quietly as she can and says "he came home" she tells him "he just didn't make it into your bed"

Jackson steps into the bedroom to see Aaron fast asleep on the small bed that belonged to their daughter. He couldn't help but smile at the scene in front of him "guess he must have wanted to give you space and kipped in beside her" she tells Jackson in a hushed voice but the noise is enough to rouse Aaron from his sleep.

Feeling as if he's being watched he turns around to see Jackson and Victoria watching him "Morning! Victoria announces happily and Aaron closes his eyes for a brief second before rolling off of the bed "that bed has killed me" he tells no one in particular

"Yeah well" Jackson says "nowt stopped you going to your own"

Aaron's eyes widen but before he can reply Casey wakes up, Victoria sensing that the two men need some time alone to discuss, swoops Casey into her arms "morning princess" she says to her and Casey grins "Morning" she says rubbing the sleep from her eyes and reaching for Jackson but Victoria side steps her out of his way "let's go get you breakfast" she walks out the room saying "take your time" to them as she does.

"You slept in her bed with rather than come to your own?" Jackson asks "really?"

Aaron takes a deep breath and says "I was actually on my way to our room, when I got home but she was just about to open our door so I took her back to bed and waited until she fell back asleep" he shrugs "guess I did too"

"Yeah, right"

"Yeah, right" Aaron says "Why wouldn't I come to our bed?" he asks "I love you, I was angry that's why I stormed out, she'd heard enough arguing for one night"

"Whose fault was it that we were arguing?" Jackson retorts

"Whichever mate of yours that waited two days before they told you what they did"

Aaron had been out two days ago, on his own, at Bar West and he had gotten a little drunk and kissed another guy. It was the first guy, apart from Jackson that he had ever kissed. He immediately regretted it but unknown to him one of Jackson's mates had been in and they had filmed the encounter.

"You should have told me!" Jackson tells him

"It meant nothing!" Aaron exclaims "why would I tell you about something that meant nothing?"

Jackson starts to pace the room "I knew this would happen, I was your first, obviously sooner or later you're going to want more"

Aaron grabs hold of his arms and stops him pacing "NO!" he says "NO! I'm not letting you do this, talk like what we have doesn't mean anything because it does. I love you" Aaron tells him "only you, I don't want anyone"

"Then why kiss someone else?"

Aaron shrugs because he didn't have an answer to that "wanna know what happened after I kissed him?"

"I really don't"

Aaron doesn't care, he's going to tell him anyway "I sat the whole night telling him about you and Casey, how much I loved you and you know what he said to me?"

"Couldn't care less" Jackson retorts

"He asked me why I kissed him when I was so obviously in love with you" he tells him "and I said to him they same as I said to you, I don't know why I kissed him. I was drunk and it was stupid. I wasn't going to tell you because it didn't mean anything and I knew you'd react like this"

"How would you have reacted if it had been me?"

"I would have killed the dude you kissed" Aaron replies simply "that's what I would have done but it didn't mean anything. I spent the whole night bending his ear about you two and if you don't believe me, go and ask him. I'm sure he'll be there, he's always there"

"You've noticed" Jackson points out and Aaron ignores him to say "It was one stupid kiss, no idea why someone filmed it or why they waited two days to tell you, who told you?"

"I'm not telling you"

"Why not?"

"So you can go off at them? They're not the ones that are married"

Aaron falls down onto Casey's bed and his head drops into his hands "I'm sorry" he says "really sorry, I should have told you I just didn't want to argue with you"

Jackson takes a step closer to him but doesn't touch him "You should have told me"

"I'm an idiot" Aaron says "I screw up all the time, don't throw us away because of something that will never happen again"

Jackson had thought about it all night. Aaron had told him that it hadn't meant anything but Jackson hadn't been in the mood to listen, he just kept seeing the video replay in his mind but when he hadn't come home, when he didn't come to their bed Jackson had missed him and knew right then that he would forgive him.

"You really are" Jackson tells him, sliding his hand around the back of his neck "don't think this makes us Ok yet, I'm still annoyed about it"

"I know"

"You'll just have to find a way of making it up to me"

Aaron nods "I can do that" he assures him "I promise"

Jackson takes a deep breath then exhales "I'm starving" he says, changing the subject "you?"

Aaron nods and follows Jackson out of the bedroom while trying to work out just how he could make up for what he had done.

Over the next week Aaron had tried to make it up to him but Jackson seemed to avoid him as much as he possibly could, even in bed. Jackson was sleeping on the far edge of it, he never did that. Aaron was close to exploding, how could he put it right if Jackson continued to avoid him?

Jackson had just gotten up one morning and Aaron was still in bed, he's had enough and was going to confront Jackson about it, they needed to put it behind them because Aaron wasn't going to let their relationship go down the drain because he made a stupid mistake.

"When are you going to get over this?"

Jackson was pulling his jeans on "you what?" he asks his hands still on the belt "You" Aaron says "you haven't touched me in a week, I thought we were going to get past it"

Jackson pulls a face "no idea what you're going on about" Aaron pushes the duvet from his body and gets out of bed, closing the distance between them.

"Then why haven't you kissed or touched me since last week?"

"Yeah I have" Jackson says, knowing it's a lie but Aaron shakes his head "No" he says "you haven't. I made a mistake, a mistake that I'm not going to let cost you"

Jackson sighs and Aaron continues talking "It's not fair on Casey, she knows we're not talking"

"I know"

Aaron steps closer to Jackson, way inside his personal space. Their chests are touching and Aaron's hands find their way onto his hips "I miss you" he tells him "please can we just forget it?"

They did forget it and luckily for them it was Victoria's turn to take Casey to nursery which meant when they ended up back in bed, for the next three hours there was no one to interrupt them, that was until Aaron's phone went off.

"Damn it!" Aaron mutters as he reaches for his phone, Jackson's hands trailing down his back as he does so. "what does she want" he says as he reads caller display, it was Victoria.

It was Victoria telling him that there was an accident on the way back from Hotten and she wouldn't be able to pick Casey up, one of them would have to do it. Aaron ended the phone call and tossed the phone back onto the bedside cabinet. He reluctantly pulls himself away from Jackson and starts pulling on clothes "what you doing?" Jackson asks, more than a little confused.

"Victoria is stuck in Hotten, one of us will need to pick Casey up"

Jackson looks at the clock, they still had a few hours "we still have time"

"Yeah" Aaron agrees "but if we don't stop now we'll end up late, neither of us wants that" he tells him "get dressed" he says throwing his clothes at him "I'll make something to eat"

* * *

Two days after that and they were back to normal, as if it had never happened. Jackson had been working but he finished early because he had plans for that night and he had worked extra that week, he didn't want to overdo it.

He picked up Casey from nursery early, to spend some time with her then headed to the garage. He placed her on the ground once they were close enough and whispered "go surprise Daddy" Casey was off like a shot as she sprinted towards Aaron who was bent over with his head in an engine, as usual.

Aaron just heard the voice telling "daddy!" as he felt a small body crash against his legs. He turned around, smile already on his face and swooped her up into his arm "how'd you get here?" he asks her "did you run away from nursery?"

Casey shakes her head while laughing "don't be silly, Daddy brought me" she says just as Jackson gets to them "so he did" Aaron grins pressing a "hello" kiss onto Jackson's more than willing lips.

"What are you two doing here?" he asks before adding "not that I'm not thrilled" he hands the little girl back over to Jackson because he was filthy and didn't want to get her any more dirty than he already had.

"Thought I'd spend some time with her today seen as how I'm heading out tonight and going to me worse for wear tomorrow morning and she'll be stuck with you all day"

Aaron's face scrunches us showing his obvious confusion until Jackson explains "I told you" he tells him "I'm going out tonight, with my mates"

"Oh yeah" Aaron shrugs "Guess that means it'll be a Chinese for one tonight then, huh?"

Jackson shrugs and says "Saddo"

Aaron glares at him playfully "Why don't you…" he's interrupted by car pulling up "wait there until I'm done"

Jackson lift his eyebrows and nods, making his way into the garage and sitting down by the desk.

"Where are you going Daddy?" Casey asks him and Jackson peels his eyes off of Aaron and onto the little girl sitting in front of him "Out with some friends"

She thinks this information over for a bit before saying "can I come?"

"Can you come where?" Aaron asks snatching her back up into his arms, she giggles and says "with Daddy to see his friends"

Aaron frowns at her and says "Nope! You're staying with me! We're gonna have fun" he promises her

"Can we watch DVDs?" she asks "any one you want"

"Yeah!" Casey exclaims clapping her hands together excitedly "you're in for it now, you know that right?"

Aaron shrugs as he hands her back over "She'll fall asleep sooner rather than later, then I'll put her to bed and have the TV all to myself"

Jackson clears his throat and says "Saddo"

Aaron rolls his eyes "gonna let me finish my work now or what?"

Jackson grins "yeah" he tells him "we're going to hang out"

"See you later" Aaron says, grabbing a quick kiss from Jackson then pressing one to Casey's head "love you" Jackson tells him and Aaron can't help but smile and say "you too"

At six thirty pm Jackson comes bounding down the stairs. Aaron walks out of the living room, leaving Casey watching one of her DVDs.

"Whoa!" he says "Who are you tartin' yourself up for?" Aaron asks, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed "Got a date you haven't told me about?"

Jackson checks his reflection in the mirror and tilts his head to the side, making eye contact with Aaron via the mirror "only when I get back" he says, eyes sparking and Aaron nods "keep it that way". He moves towards him and slips his hands around his waist, resting his head on Jackson's shoulder and kissing the exposed skin on his neck.

"Don't" Jackson warns as he knows Aaron and he knows what he's upto "Don't what?" Aaron asks, trying to look innocent but failing. Jackson turns around "I know you Aaron" is all he says before pulling away.

Jackson says his goodbyes to Casey then heads for the door, his taxi had just pulled up. "Won't be home late" he promises Aaron. Aaron watches until the taxi pulls away then closes the door.

* * *

It's late. Casey has been in bed for hours and Aaron is pacing the floor of the living room. Adam and Victoria are sitting watching "Aaron, he's out having fun. Why you so worried?" Adam asks

Aaron doesn't look at him; he continues pacing while trying to get through to Jackson on his mobile again but again all he gets is his voicemail. It was 2am and Jackson had promised to be home early, he still wasn't home, Aaron had a bad feeling.

"Yeah Aaron" Victoria says trying to make him feel better "he's just lost track of time"

"He wouldn't" Aaron says because he does know Jackson better than anyone. He walks quickly out of the living room and into the kitchen, he needs a drink. Adam and Victoria follow "Aaron, what's wrong?"

Aaron look at his best mate and takes a deep breath "he's a big boy, stop worrying"

"I've got a bad feeling alright?" he snaps "I just…he should be home"

"He's just lost track of time"

"No!" Aaron's voice rises, he's losing patience but before he can say anything else the front door knocks. Aaron looks at the other two and Adam says "he's forgotten his keys"

Aaron rushes from the kitchen to the front door. He pulls it open to see two policemen, well a man and woman standing on his door step. Aaron's eyes widen and he takes a step back "No!" he says slamming the door closed, his back hitting the wall "no".

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? WANT MORE? LET ME KNOW!


	33. BE33

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - I happen to be too busy to write and proof read at the moment. Hope there isn't much wrong with it! Enjoy!

* * *

_

Victoria and Adam looked at each other when they heard the door slam then a thump against the wall. They both made for the door as quick as possible, almost tripping over each other as they got there. The first thing they saw was Aaron; he was as white as a sheet, standing against the wall with his hand over his mouth.

"Aa…Aaron" Victoria says, suddenly worried "who was at the door?"

Aaron licks his lips and his mouth opens and closes a couple of times but no sound comes out before anyone can ask again the door knocks again and Victoria looks at Adam while going to Aaron "answer it then" she tells him.

Adam pulls the door open and his eyes widen at the sight in front of him. He feels as if a heavy weight has just been dropped into his stomach. Police, at your door at this time in the morning was never anything good.

"Aaron Livesy?" the male police officer asked but Adam shook his head and opened the door wider, allowing for them to come in "not me" he says nodding at Aaron "he's the one you're after"

The female police officer steps forward "Mr Livesy?" she says in a neutral tone. Aaron's eyes meet hers and then he's shaking his head and storming into the living "No, no, no" he continues to chan. Victoria, Adam and the two police officers follow him "Aaron you need to hear them out" Victoria tells him but he is still shaking his head "I don't want to know what they have to say" he tells her "It's clearly nothing good"

The male officers realising that Aaron wasn't going to listen decided that it was probably best just to say what he had to say "There's been an accident"

Adam bites his lip, Victoria desperately tries to stop the tears that have formed in her eyes and Aaron is just staring at him, a blank expression on his face. The three of them fear the worst.

"Jackson Walsh"

"He's alright, isn't he?" Adam asks, knowing that his best friend would want to know. The officer looks at him and shakes his head. Aaron's knees almost give out from under him as he believes that he's dead. "He's at Hotten general" he speaks, this time directing at Aaron "he was hit by a car"

Aaron feels the air return to his lungs "He's alive?" he asks, anger creeping into his tone. Both of the officers nod "Yes, we can take you to him"

"Why the hell didn't you just say that!" Aaron snaps, his anger and fear now getting the better of him.

"We tried Mr Livesy but you wouldn't listen" the female explains "I need to see him" Aaron says quickly "where is he? Is he alright?"

"We don't know anything at this stage, we can take you to the hospital if you would like"

"Yeah" Aaron says making to grab his coat, just as he picks it up he says "Crap"

"Something wrong?" the female officer asks "We have a daughter" he says "she's asleep upstairs"

Victoria comes out of the living room "I've got it" she assures him "you go to Jackson" she tells him then looks at Adam "you go with him"

Adam doesn't need telling twice, he had already told himself he was going.

While sitting in the back of the car Aaron felt as if it was taking forever, they seemed to be hardly moving "Can't you go any faster?" he snaps at them "hey!" Adam says "calm down, you getting arrested isn't going to help Jackson"

Aaron bursts into the hospital demanding to know what's going on all the time Adam is trying to keep him calm. A nurse comes out and tells him that Jackson is in surgery and they'll update him when they can. Aaron snaps that he needs to know now, the nurse tried to sympathise with him and says "as soon as I know sir, I will tell you" she promises "Mr Walsh's friends are in the family room, they've been waiting on you" she tells him while showing him where to go.

Aaron bursts in and the first guy he comes across is Sol, he hates Sol "What happened?" he demands to know. Sol filled him in on the fact that they were crossing the road and the car came out of nowhere throwing Jackson up into the air.

"Why couldn't it have been one of you, eh?" Aaron growled "and!" he adds "no one could tell me? You've got the number, cheers for that"

"We were told not to" one of his other friends said "the police said it would be better coming from them "

"Oh yeah, much better" Aaron replied sarcastically. He was frantic, he was scared there was a range of emotions running through him, and he had to know how Jackson was.

Adam pulled Aaron over to an empty part of the family room, away from Jackson's friends "I'm going to deck one of them" Aaron states and Adam believes him.

"Calm down. You getting arrested is no good for Jackson, you know that"

After another five minutes Aaron was out of the family room and looking for someone to give him answers

"He's still in surgery sir"

"Why is he in surgery? What's wrong?" he demanded but the nurse said "The doctor will come speak to you as soon as he can"

Adam had to physically pull Aaron back into the family room.

"Why can't he just wait?" Paul, Jackson's mate had said to Sol and that was all Aaron needed "Get out" he tell them

"You what?" Paul asks

"You're leaving" Aaron tells them "all of you"

The four of them shake their heads "we're not going anywhere"

Aaron laughs and says "you missing the fact that we're married? I'm his next of kin? Now either leave on your own or before I make you and believe me, I'm itching to hit someone"

"Aaron go get Coffee" Adam tells him "I don't want Coffee"

"Go" Adam says "clear your head"

Aaron walked out of the family room and Adam says "you better go. He's going to blow I'll call you when we know. He will end up hitting someone and none of you want Jackson wakening up to him in jail, do you?"

"Alright" they agree "but call us yeah? And tell Jackson why we left?"

* * *

It was another hour before a Doctor came to see them, Adam was almost asleep beside him but Aaron couldn't sleep, Aaron couldn't stop worrying.

"Mr Livesy?"

Aaron had jumped out his seat "how is he?" he demanded "is he alright? Can I see him?"

The Doctor explained to Aaron that Jackson's body was in shock and that he was currently in Coma. He would wake up but they weren't sure when and they would have to wait until then to know the extent of his injuries.

"He's in a room of his own, you're more than welcome to stay as long as you want"

Aaron had followed the Doctor, leaving Adam asleep on the chair.

He walked into the hospital room and he was relieved that there was no Halo attached to Jackson. It couldn't be that bad then, could it? He was covered in cuts and bruises that were just starting to show. Aaron had to choke back a sob. He didn't want to cry, he just wanted him to wake up.

"What have you done to yourself this time, eh?" he asks the still body. He grabs hold of Jackson's hand and says "I really hope you can feel this" he presses his lips to Jackson's forehead and says "please wake up"

Hours had passed with Aaron sat at Jackson's bedside, nurses had come in and out. Adam even joined him after finally wakening up and finding out where Aaron was. Adam tried to get Aaron to talk but the mechanic was up for a chat, not really.

"He'll wake up" Adam says and Aaron nods "course he will" he replies "he did last time"

"It's not as bad as last time though, is it?"

Aaron shrugs "No idea. I hope not" Aaron grabs Jackson's hand again "he'll be fine" he says and Adam is convinced that Aaron is trying to convince himself more than him.

Checking his watch Adam realised it was morning, it was almost 8am "Have you called Hazel?"

"No" Aaron admits, he hadn't called anyone, not even Paddy.

"She needs to know" Adam explains "and Jerry"

"Jerry can bounce, he's not getting told anything about Jackson. Hazel, can you do that? But I'm not telling Jerry. Jackson is nowt to do with him"

"He's his son Aaron"

Aaron glares at Adam "his son that he hasn't seen in years and hates because he's Gay. No." he states "he's not coming because if he does I'll end up decking him and he will get me charged. Then I'll be away from him" he nods at Jackson "and away from our daughter. They both need me right now"

By midday Aaron had made the call to Hazel telling her about Jackson's accident. She had screamed demanded to know how it happened and Aaron told her all he knew. She said she would be there as soon as possible but not before asking him if he had told Jerry and he told her the exact same as he told Adam. Jerry wasn't to know.

Midday also the arrival of Paddy and Victoria "why didn't you tell me?" Paddy demanded to know pulling Aaron into a hug. Aaron clung to the man who was in every sense of the word his dad "not been thinking straight" he tells him "he'll wake up right?" he asks and Paddy nods quickly "course he will" he tells him "he's tough"

Aaron notices Victoria for the first time "Where's Casey"

Victoria pulls her eyes off of Jackson and says "At nursery"

"You sent her to nursery?" he snaps but this is Victoria and she doesn't take any of his crap "Yeah, what did you want me to? Things have to stay normal for her Aaron"

Aaron backs down and says "Sorry" he shrugs "I just…I wanna see her" he tells them "she might calm me down"

Paddy nods his head in understanding "You'll see her when you go home"

"I'm not going home" Aaron tells them "Not until he's woken up anyway, cause when he does I'll be here"

"What about Casey?" Adam asks

"I've got you three right?" Aaron asks "you've got her or if that's a problem just bring her here to me"

"You can't keep a kid in a hospital"

"She's three" Aaron spits at them "she'll enjoy it but I've got you. I need to be here when he wakes up"

"He'd want you looking after yourself and Casey" Paddy tells him

"Yeah well" Aaron starts "I can do that and look after him. I'm not leaving him alone"

They knew better than to argue because when Aaron had his mind set on something, especially when it came to Jackson there was no changing it, especially not when Jackson was laying in a bed fighting for his life.

"You should go" Aaron turns around and says to Adam "no point in you staying here, is there? You're knackered"

Adam shakes his head quickly "I'm your best mate, his too" he nods at Jackson "I'm not leaving you here all alone. I'm good" he lifts up his coffee cup "plenty of Coffee"

Aaron laughs at that and smiles gratefully "You're going to get bored"

"Only as bored as you" Adam counters "but that won't make you leave, will it?"

Aaron shakes his head "No. It won't" he tells his best friend "but i need to be here, you have work. Please, go. You don't want to be stuck here. Come back later and bring Casey with you? I need to tell her. I don't want anyone else doing it?"

Reluctantly Adam agrees. He agrees for everyone's sake. Aaron wanted Casey and he wasn't leaving to Adam would have to be the message boy. He was happy with that. He would do anything he could to help his friend, both of them.

Adam left the hospital soon after their chat, promising to come back with Casey later on that day. Aaron asked him to bring a few things, his Ipod, his phone charger stuff that he would need while sitting waiting on Jackson opening his eyes "will do" Adam says as he disappears out the door.

Aaron isn't sure if time is moving slowly or not, it's just moving. He's sitting watching the rise and fall of his lover's chest and hoping that it isn't just the machine that's doing that. He isn't sure what he would do if Jackson were to die. When he was eighteen it had been hard enough, but now? Now it was worse, he had been with him for twelve, almost thirteen years now. They were married and they had a kid what would he do without him? Casey loved him so much, Jackson was the better parent and Casey just adored him. Aaron didn't know what she would do if he was no longer around.

"Mr Livesy" one of the nurses says as she walks into the room "Uh..Aaron" he tells her

"Aaron" she has a small smile on her face "you don't have to stay here you know, we'd call you if he woke up or if there was any change"

Aaron nods his head and tries not to go off on one at her "I'm staying, I can stay right?" he double checks "of course" she tells him "as long as you want"

* * *

It was six o'clock when Adam and Victoria arrived at the hospital with Casey, they had text him to let him know so he was standing outside of Jackson's room.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed pulling away from Victoria and running towards him as fast as her little feet could take her. He lifted her into his arms and held her as tight as he possibly could. He never wanted to let her go. "Where's Daddy?" she asks her face scrunching "I've missed you soooo much!" she tells him and Aaron kisses her forehead.

"We'll come back in a couple hours?"

Aaron nods and says "about half seven" that still gave them time to get her home and into bed for her normal bed time.

Aaron explained to their daughter that Jackson had been in an accident and that he had to stay in hospital for a little while

"When will he wake up?" she had asked and Aaron didn't know what to tell her so he said "Soon" he hoped it would be soon and he hoped that Jackson would in fact wake up.

Aaron sat with Casey on the chair by the bed, telling her that everything would be OK but that Adam and Victoria were going to take her home because he was going to stay with Jackson until he woke up. She had been fine with that and said "when I come back tomorrow will he be able to play with me?"

"Probably not baby" he tells her honestly "soon though" he presses a kiss to her forehead and once again holds her close. She was calming him, making him feel a little better but he knew as soon as she left and he had to sit, not knowing what was happening that his anger, hurt and frustration would get the better of him once more.

He just wanted him to wake up.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? WANT MORE? LET ME KNOW!


	34. BE34

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - ENJOY! THIS IS FOR EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED THE LAST CHAPTER!_

* * *

Three days. It had been three long days that Aaron had been sat by Jackson's bedside willing him to wake up, but he never did. He had visitors, many of them; they all came at different times. Some Aaron spoke to some he didn't but he still didn't leave his side. The minute Jackson opens his eyes Aaron is going to the first person he sees. He has to be, Jackson has to open his eyes.

Hazel had appeared at the hospital late Saturday night after getting a flight back. She had bounded into the hospital just as worried as Aaron was. She pulled Aaron to her but he didn't return her hug, just stood there, like a statue.

"What have they said?" she asks and Aaron shrugs because well, if he was honest he hasn't really been listening. He's more focused on Jackson wakening up.

"They're not sure of anything until he wakes up" he had explained to her.

After she had been at the hospital for around half an hour, after settling in and talking to the Doctors she turned on him "when you going home?" she has asked but Aaron shook his head "I'm not"

"What do you mean you're not?" Hazel queried, her brows lifting as she gave him a look "what about Casey?"

"She's with Victoria and Adam, she comes here everyday" Aaron explains "I'm not leaving until he wakes up"

"Aaron look at you!" Hazel exclaims and Aaron just pulls a face, he's sick of hearing that "you look like death, you look worse that Jackson"

"I'll be here when he wakes up"

"He'd want you to be with Casey" she tells him "I was with Casey!" Aaron says defending himself "she left with Victoria not long before you arrived, I'm still looking after my daughter and as soon as he wakes up I'll go home but not until then and nothing you say is going to change that so you should really stop trying"

Hazel had headed back to Dale Head leaving Aaron alone for the night once more. That was on Saturday and it was now Monday.

Aaron was becoming increasingly impatient, the nurses would come in, do what they have to do but none of them would ever tell him what they thought was wrong. It was driving him insane. He just wanted to know that Jackson would wake up and that when he woke up that he would be fine.

He needed to hear his voice, he needed to talk to him, he needed the comfort and strength that Jackson provided to him. He just needed him.

Aaron's head was resting on the bars of Jackson's bed holding onto his hand as he rested his eyes. He was tired, he hadn't had a descents night sleep since Jackson was admitted, not that he minded much, he just hated Casey seeing him in such a state. Casey had left hours ago with Hazel, for the first time she had cried because she didn't want to go home without him or Jackson and for the first time Aaron felt his heart break. He wanted to comfort her, go home with her and make sure she was alright but he just couldn't leave Jackson. He was fully aware that Jackson would go off at him for leaving Casey with Victoria, Adam and his Mother for so long but he'd deal with that then.

He was just dozing when he felt something move under his hand. He didn't react at first, assuming it was his imagination but when it moved again his head shot up and he was on his feet in seconds.

Moving to the top of the bed, so he could get a better look of him, his hand still clutching Jackson's while his other hand ran down the side of Jackson's face

"Jackson?" he says, his voice thick of emotion.

Jackson's eyes flutter open slowly, then close again as he struggles to come round. Aaron can feel his heart beating in his chest, he was sure it was going faster than it ever had before.

"Aa…Aaron" he manages

"I'm here" he tells him, squeezing his hand

"Casey…"

"She's fine. She's at home" he tells him quickly. Aaron pressed the buzzer for a Doctor or nurse, to alert them to the fact that Jackson was now awake.

"Wha…what happened?" he croaks out and Aaron doesn't know if he should offer him a drink or not. He decides not to and waits on the nurse. One comes bounding through the door "He's awake" Aaron tells her.

For the next half an hour Aaron is bundled out of the room so they can do some test and get Jackson comfortable. He paces the floor outside, more than once nurse offers to get him Coffee but he snaps at them, immediately feeling guilty about it. He was just far too worried about Jackson to worry about how he was making some nurse feel.

He was finally allowed back in, much to his relief "is he alright?" Aaron had asked, cornering his Doctor before he could get out of the room.

The Doctor smiled at him "We still have some tests to do" he explains "He's awake but he's tired, so don't let him over do it"

Aaron scrunched his face up, he wasn't happy with that but he wanted to be with Jackson right now more than he wanted to interrogate his Doctor.

"Stop mithering him" Jackson says in an exhausted voice, Aaron steps away from the Doctor and smiles. It's so good to hear his voice

"Hey you" he says, pressing a kiss to his lips, just because he had to. "Don't ever scare me like that again"

Jackson looks away then back at him "What…how am I here?"

Aaron takes a deep breath "what do you remember?"

Aaron spends the next forty five minutes letting Jackson tell him what he remembers and telling him what he knows.

"Am I going to be paralysed again?" Jackson suddenly asks out of nowhere and Aaron doesn't know how to answer that.

"Let's wait and see what the Doctors say, eh? He rubs his hand up and down Jackson's arm "you feel that, don't you?"

"Yeah but…"

"But nothing" Aaron says, silencing him with a kiss "let's not worry until they say we have something to worry about"

* * *

Jackson falls back asleep and Aaron has time to get his thoughts together. He hadn't called Hazel or anyone yet. He pulled out his mobile and set about letting people know that he was awake.

Aaron sat for the rest of the night, wide awake incase he woke up again. He didn't want him to be alone, but at some point he dozed off because he was rudely awakened by Hazel bursting into the room and crying "My baby!"

Aaron practically jumped out of his seat which amused Jackson to no end. He had been awake for a while, watching Aaron sleep and talking to the nurses that had come in and out. They had been telling him about Aaron and about how long he had been there, never leaving unless it was to go to the toilet. Jackson had suspected as much, he'd do the same, still it didn't mean he liked it. Aaron should have thought about himself and Casey before him.

"Morning Hazel" Aaron says through clenched teeth "you should have woken me" he tells Jackson shaking his head as he moves to stand by his head.

"From what I've heard, you needed it"

Aaron scowls at him and says "I'm fine" he takes his hand "more concerned about you than me"

"Yeah" Jackson lifts his eyebrow "so I see. Now I'm awake we'll be changing that"

Aaron shakes his head and laughs at Jackson. He didn't really have plans to go anywhere.

"Where's Casey?" Jackson asks. Hazel grins "She's at home. Victoria is going to take her to nursery I can call her and tell her not to, if you want"

"No!" Jackson says quickly surprising both Hazel and Aaron "she misses you like mad" Aaron tells him

"I know" he says "I know but…" he takes a deep breath "I don't want her to see me like this"

Aaron tilts his head to the side, he looks at him and nods "Jackson…" he trails off at the look Jackson gives him "She's not going to understand Aaron, just keep her away until we know more, please?"

"Done" Aaron tells him.

Hours pass with people coming in and out, visiting Jackson now that he was awake. There was a maximum of four people allowed in the room but Aaron stated quite clearly that he wasn't leaving the room, for no one. Hazel tried to tempt him when Jackson's mate turned up, all four of them that had been out with him that night but Aaron once again refused. He wanted to hear what they had to say. He sat and listened as they told Jackson just what had happened that night.

Aaron wished he had left as they spoke about it. He didn't want to hear about Jackson getting hurt, the details of it but he stayed in the room, so he had to listen.

By night fall the visitors had left and Hazel was away getting them Coffee.

"You're going home tonight" Jackson says simply and Aaron quickly rebuffs that idea "No. I'm not"

Jackson groans "Aaron, you're a mess. You're wearing the same clothes you were wearing the night I left, that was almost a week ago"

"So?"

"So you need to go home, eat, sleep and wash"

"I'm not leaving you alone"

Jackson sighs "I'm a big boy. I'll be fine" Jackson turns his hand over, his muscles are stiff and he can't move his arms that well but he manages to do it. Aaron's hand slips into Jackson's.

"Go home, be with our daughter" Jackson says "she needs you"

Aaron sighs. He doesn't want to leave but he knows Jackson isn't going to let it lie "But…"

"No buts" Jackson tells him sternly.

Aaron reluctantly agrees and at seven thirty Jackson tells them that it is time for them to go "It's still early" Aaron complained, not ready to leave him.

"Go Aaron. I'm just going to sleep"

"Fine" he says, kissing him quickly "I'll be back tomorrow. Love you"

"I love you too"

* * *

When Aaron and Hazel pulled up outside Dale Head Aaron was knackered but as he got out the car he could hear screaming coming from inside the house. Opening the door he spotted Adam standing at the kitchen door "what's up?" Aaron asks

"Aaron!" Adam says, relief flooding his features "thank god"

Aaron was just about to reply when he heard Casey's voice screaming "No, no, no!"

"What's going on?"

"She's not happy that we didn't bring her to the hospital. She's going a little mad"

"I'll go" Hazel says trying to make her way upstairs but Aaron puts his arm out, stopping her "I've got it" he assures her then climbs the stairs himself.

Aaron saw the little girl standing by her room door. Victoria noticed him before the little girl did "thank god!" she exclaimed and he smiled at her while scooping Casey up into his arms.

She let out a squeal and a "put me down" before he turned her around. Her eyes lit up then "Daddy!" she exclaimed, throwing her tiny arms around his neck "I've missed you"

"Missed you too baby" he tells her "I've got it" he mouths to Victoria and she heads downstairs.

Aaron carries her into his bedroom and sits on the bed with her, answering all her questions as best as he could. He needed a shower and he says "how about you watch a DVD and I'll go have a shower? What do you think?"

"What DVD?"

"Any one you want"

"OK!" she exclaims, making herself comfortable at the top of the bed, while Aaron slips a Disney DVD into the machine.

"Be right back" he tells her but she doesn't answer him because she's already got her full attention on the TV.

The shower did Aaron the world of good. He felt much better. It cleared his head and made him feel better. He missed Jackson but he was awake and Jackson wanted him to be with their daughter. It looked like he came home at just the right time.

Walking back into the bedroom, with jogging bottoms now on and fully refreshed he noticed that his daughter has fallen asleep. He smiles to himself and turns the TV off. He thinks about moving her, into her own room but then realises he doesn't want that.

It's close to ten before he finally gets into bed himself. After going downstairs to eat and finding Hazel and Victoria cooking for him. Then catching up with Adam and finding out just how Casey had been he kinda lost track of the time. He was just heading back upstairs when

"Casey in her room?" Hazel asks him a question. Aaron turns to face her, a confused look on his face and she explains "just wanted to say goodnight"

"Oh, no. She's with me tonight. Still say goodnight though, if you want"

Aaron climbed into his bed, their bed. Their bed that was missing a vital piece, missing Jackson, Casey had slept with them numerous times but tonight they just seemed to have too much space.

Casey was on Jackson's side of the bed, facing him and Aaron made himself comfortable. He didn't know when he would finally fall asleep but he didn't care because lying in that bed, watching his daughter sleep was good enough for him at that particular moment.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	35. BE35

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - ENJOY!_**

* * *

**

Tuesday morning and Aaron woke up to his daughter jumping on him and yelling "get up, get up" he groaned and tried to block out her voice. This is how she usually woke them up, him and Jackson and for a split second Aaron's hand reached out, looking to connect with Jackson. His hand touched the bed sheets, bed sheets that were still warm but they weren't warm from Jackson and opening his eyes it dawned on him that Jackson was in the hospital and the events of the week came flooding back to him.

"Daddy! Wake up!" Casey says again and he turns around grabbing hold of her and pulling her against his chest "I'm awake!" he tells her.

Casey giggles "I'm hungry Daddy!" she complains as she sits on his stomach.

Aaron looks at the clock on the bedside cabinet; it reads 08:00am. Casey starts nursery at nine and he had to go to the hospital.

"Come on then!" he says lifting her into his arms and carrying her down into the kitchen.

He stands in the kitchen and makes Casey her breakfast and makes himself a cup of Coffee. Twenty minutes later he's in her bedroom, getting her dressed "ready to go to nursery?" Aaron asks her and she nods excitedly

"Great!" Aaron says pressing a kiss to her forehead. Her little face turns serious and Aaron waits on her saying what's obviously on her mind

"Will Daddy be home when I get out of nursery?"

Aaron doesn't know what to say to that. Jackson didn't want her to see him in the hospital so Aaron couldn't tell her that he would take her to see him.

"No baby" he tells her "He'll be home soon. He's still getting better"

She frowns and says "I miss him"

"I miss him too" Aaron admits "but he'll be home soon, I promise" he presses a kiss to her forehead and lifts her into his arms "ready to go to nursery?" he asks and Casey nods

"Great" he says as he runs the two of them downstairs. He checks his pockets to make sure he has his keys and wallet. Looking at the clock it reads 8:40 which meant they still have twenty minutes before they needed to be at the nursery.

"Chuck" Aaron calls on the dog, he'll take him for a quick walk before he goes to the hospital then drop him off at the garage.

"I wanna walk" she tells him as he's about to carry her out of the door.

"Alright" he says and puts her on the ground "let's go to the garage first yeah? I need to talk to Ryan"

"OK Daddy" she says slipping her hand into his and walking with him to the garage.

Ryan is just opening up the place as Aaron walks towards it "Alright?" Aaron calls out

"Aaron!" Ryan says walking towards him "I'm alright, how's Jackson?"

"He's alright. You coming to visit?"

"Yeah, yeah" Ryan says "but you know…my boss is a right slave driver"

Aaron laughs at that and grins "Thanks for looking after this place" he tells him "I appreciate it"

"Not a problem" Ryan assures him "We're not busy later, I'll pop in then if it's Ok?"

"Yeah great. He'll probably get bored of looking at my mug all day"

Ryan laughs "he's put up with you for what 12 years? I'm sure he's already pretty bored"

"Haha" Aaron says before asking him how the garage has been going. Whether or not they had been busy and if he was coping. They were so wrapped up in conversation that Aaron wasn't noticing Casey pulling on his arm. It wasn't until she started saying "Daddy, Daddy DADDY!" that he gave her his full attention

"What is it?" he asks and she pouts "We're going to be late for nursery"

Aaron checks his watch and its almost nine "Crap" he says "so we are" he picks her up "You're not walking cause I'm going to have to run or we'll be late" he tells her "I'll be back in ten minutes" he tells Ryan before running towards the nursery "Chuck come" calling on the dog as he ran. Chuck chased after him.

Aaron dropped Casey off at nursery and tried to avoid all the questions about how Jackson was, he just thanked them for their concern and walked away from them as quickly as he possibly could.

After walking Chuck and speaking to Paddy and his Mother Aaron finally headed back to the garage "are you keeping Chuck?"

"Yeah" Ryan says "think you're going to have to give him to me, he's going to get used to me, sooner or later"

"You wish" Aaron tells him

"I do actually, great dog that"

Aaron smiles and says "Yeah. He is" he takes a deep breath "well…" he backs off towards his car "I'm off to the hospital now, see you when I get back. Cheers for watching Chuck"

* * *

Aaron didn't call in for Hazel. He knew that was going to get him some earache at a later stage in the day but he couldn't care less. He wanted to spend some alone time with Jackson. He should have been a bit more awake today at least and they could talk. Aaron could get used to hearing his voice and seeing his eyes, boy how he'd missed his voice.

"Hey you" Aaron says as he walks into the hospital room, to get Jackson's attention. Jackson gives him it and smiles "You look much better today"

"Cheers" Aaron replies with a roll of his eyes "saying I looked bad yesterday?" he asks, pressing a quick kiss to Jackson's lips.

"Bit scruffy" Jackson admits "kinda like you'd been wearing the same clothes for days"

"Like I'd ever do a thing like that" Aaron says with a smile. Their eyes flick to the TV screen for a second, then back to each other "where's Mum? Thought she would have turned up with you"

Aaron smirks and says "I kinda just left without telling her I was going"

Jackson laughs at that "she's going to kill you" he tells him and Aaron nods, fully aware of that he says "She's a pussycat really"

"Love to hear you tell her that"

"I will" Aaron says in a determined voice but after a minute adds "maybe I won't" Jackson smiles at that "anyway" Aaron says changing the subject "I wanted to spend some time alone with you, kinda missed you"

For the first time since he had woken up Jackson looks at Aaron, really looks at him and behind those eyes that try to hide how he's feeling he can see. He can see because Aaron has never been able to hide anything from him, ever. He can see fear, pain, hurt, worry he can see everything.

"Aaron…" he trails off as he watches Aaron bite his lip. Trying to hold back tears, he wishes he could reach out and hold him but his muscles weren't working properly yet and reaching out to hold him would be a major effort

"I'm right here"

Aaron nods quickly "I know. I know" he says, trying to keep his emotions in check "I thought I was going to lose you"

"I'm hard to get rid of"

"Thank god!" Aaron exclaims, letting out a small laugh "I couldn't leave you, after I found out. Not until I knew you were awake and that you were fine"

"I know"

Aaron kisses him, passionately and he has no intention of stopping until the both of them need air, desperately but the room door swings open and he hears a male voice say "Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt"

Aaron pulls away quickly and turns to face the newcomer "Not a problem" he smiles at the guy "Aaron" he says moving to shake the nurses' hand, he hadn't met him before "Nurse McColl" the nurse tells him "Just here to check on the patient"

Aaron steps back and says "On you go. I'll wait here"

It took the nurse five minutes to do what he had to do then he left the room. "You and him were friendly" he comments innocently and Jackson rolls his eyes "not going to be jealous of the male nurses' again are you?"

Aaron shakes his head and drops into the plastic chair by the bed "course not" he tells him "look at me"

Jackson scoffs and says "you're getting old"

"You're three years older" Aaron retorts, happy that they can once again share they're childish banter.

"I hate hospitals" Jackson says although Aaron knows this "I've spent way too long in them"

"You won't spend anywhere near that amount of time in here" Aaron assures him, grabbing his hand "Have they said anything?"

"Not much, said they wanted to run a few more tests, that's about it"

The two of them spent the next few hours talking about nothing in particular; it was just after midday when Hazel barged into the room.

"nice of you to offer me a lift" he says, slapping Aaron around the back of the head "Hey!" he complains rubbing his head but she just rolls her eyes "had to make my own way here I did, you're so nice to your Mother in law"

"Maybe I didn't want to put up with my Mother in law, ever think of that?" Aaron asks.

Hazel ignores him and says her "hellos" to Jackson before turning serious for a minute "I've got something to tell you both" she says causing both of them to look at her with worried expressions.

"Is Casey alright?" Jackson asks

"Oh yeah!" Hazel says waving that off "she's great…it's just…"

Aaron and Jackson share a look; it wasn't like Hazel to beat around the bush "just what Hazel?" Aaron pushes for more information.

"I called your Dad and told him that you were awake, he wants to come see you"

Aaron snaps "YOU WHAT?" he demands to know, getting to his feet in one swift movement "I told you, he wasn't to come anywhere near here, call him back and tell him not to come anywhere near here or I will deck him"

Hazel scowls at him "and I respected your wishes Aaron, while you were the one making the decisions but now Jackson is awake, it's up to him who he wants to say"

Aaron turns to Jackson and says "he feels the same as me"

Hazel, ignoring Aaron says "Do you?" to Jackson.

Jackson looks at Aaron and they have a conversation, a silent one just with their eyes and Jackson is saying "Yeah. I don't want him here"

"Don't just say that for him" Hazel says, nodding at Aaron "He's not wanted to know since before we got married!" Aaron snaps "he thinks just because Jackson is in hospital that he can suddenly become bezzie mates? He can think again"

"Aaron is right Mum; he's not wanted to know. Tell him I don't want to see him" Jackson says, although what he says and what he means are too completely different things but Aaron doesn't want him around and Aaron is his world, he wouldn't have him around.

"Tell him if he dares come near that I will end him" Aaron promises.

"Alright" Hazel says, resigning herself to defeat "I'll call him"

"You do that" Aaron says as he watches her leave the room "can you believe her?" Aaron shakes his head and asks Jackson.

"She's just trying to do what's best"

"Best for who?"

"For me"

Aaron scoffs "well she shouldn't bother in future"

Jackson sighs. He doesn't want to have an argument or for there to be any bad tension between the two of them and asks "can we just forget and talk about something else please?"

"Course"

It's just after two pm and Aaron has to collect Casey had 2:45 "I've got to go pick up Casey" he says, getting to his feet

"Alright" Jackson smiles "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Aaron's face shows his obvious confusion "uh…no. You'll see me later on. She was asking about you earlier, thought I'd bring her to see you"

"I already said…"

"I know what you said" Aaron cuts him off "but she's missing you, seeing her isn't going to hurt is it?"

"She's just going to ask questions Aaron and I don't want her worrying"

Aaron sighs "she's already asking questions"

"I said NO! Aaron" he snaps "just listen to me, please?"

"Fine" Aaron says in a cold tone "I won't bring her, but you can't tell me you're not missing her"

"I'm missing her like you wouldn't believe and when I get out of here I'll probably not let her go for a week but until then, I don't want her seeing me like this, alright?"

"Alright" Aaron nods "I'll be back later once I've given her dinner" he kisses him and heads towards the door "you coming?" he asks Hazel but she shakes her head "I'll be home later"

"Ok" Aaron is just about to pull open the door when Ryan walks in "Ryan" Jackson's face lights up at the new face, as does Aaron. He didn't want to leave Jackson with just Hazel for company that would drive him mad.

"Good" Aaron says "You can keep him company for a bit"

"Will do" Ryan assures him, patting him on the back "see you later mate"

"Yeah. See ya" Aaron replies before disappearing out of the room.

* * *

It was just after 8pm when Aaron got back to the hospital. He had tried to get Casey back into her normal routine which means bed by 7pm on weeknights and surprisingly she hadn't complained about it.

When Aaron walked into the room he sensed at atmosphere. It was just Hazel and Jackson but he sensed they had been arguing or something was wrong.

"What's up?" Aaron asks, coming to stand at the opposite side of Jackson's bed than Hazel. Hazel looks at her son then Aaron "ask him" she says in a tone that is so unlike Hazel.

"Jackson?"

Jackson glares at him Mother before focusing his attention on Aaron "they Doctor came round, telling me some stuff"

"Right, what did they say?"

Hazel gets to her feet and says "Think I better get home" she grabs her coat "leave you two alone to talk about this"

Hazel leaving confused Aaron to no end, it wasn't like her to leave. Just what had her and Jackson said to each other?

"What was that about?"

"You know what she's like" Jackson tells him and Aaron doesn't believe it but he doesn't call him on it, instead he lets it rest.

"So what did they Doctor say?"

"That he thinks I'll get full use of my arms back"

"That's good" Aaron says but at Jackson look he starts to worry "but not my legs, he's not sure, they need to run more tests but he's just given me worst case"

"We'll deal with it" Aaron assures him, grabbing his hand "whatever it is. We'll get through it, together"

Jackson looks him dead in the eye and says "No. We won't"

Aaron is beyond confused at that statement "what does that mean?"

"It means your thirty Aaron"

Aaron pulls a face "what the hell does my age have to do with anything"

"You already have one kid to look after, I'm not giving you a second"

Aaron's eyes widen as he finally gets what Jackson is saying. He's trying to finish with him "is that what was wrong with your Mum? Were you saying this rubbish to her?"

"She said I was being stupid and that you weren't about to give up on me"

"She was right"

"Aaron. If I'm paralysed I'm no use to you. I'm not going to allow you to look after a baby and me"

"You're not going to be able to stop me" Aaron informs him "I'm not eighteen anymore. You can't push me away. We're married, we have a kid and I know exactly how I feel now. I'm not going anywhere. No matter what you say Jackson"

"Find someone else" Jackson continues "You're still young enough to do that"

"I don't want anyone else!" Aaron snaps, he's trying to keep his temper in check and not lose it but Jackson is really getting to him "what about Casey huh? What about her?"

"She's young. She'll forget all about me" Jackson says and Aaron's eyes widen further "you didn't just say that to me!" Aaron starts pacing the room.

"You're her Dad! She loves you and if I'm never likely to forget you I doubt she is"

"I'm no use to either of you paralysed"

"You don't know you will be, the Doctor said maybe"

"No one is that lucky Aaron. I bet it once, I doubt I'll do it a second time"

"You don't know that"

"You'll be better off with someone else" Jackson says and Aaron can't believe he's hearing this "You're in shock. You're lashing out, that's fine. I can take it" Aaron assures him "but don't talk crap. I'm not going anywhere"

"I don't want you around for this or Casey"

"Tough" Aaron tells him straight "cause we're not going anywhere. When we got married, it kinda meant we're stuck together for life, good and bad"

"Not this bad"

"Any bad" Aaron tells him "cause if it was me in that bed, would you leave me if I told you to?"

Jackson looks away unable to meet his eyes because they both know the answer to that. Jackson wouldn't leave him.

"I'm going to go home" Aaron says "I don't want to but I think we're just going to get more heated. I don't want to argue with you but you can think about the crap you're talking" he takes a step closer to the bed and kisses him on the forehead "I love you"

"I love you too" Jackson says, his voice barely above a whisper.

Pressing a kiss to his lips Aaron says "remember that" before disappearing out of the hospital. Leaving Jackson to think things through.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? GETTING BORED? LET ME KNOW!


	36. BE36

**Breakeven **

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - ENJOY!

* * *

_

Wednesday morning and Aaron was once again woken to Casey jumping on him, he grabbed hold of her and hugged her tight "Morning!" he tells her and she grins at him "Morning Daddy"

"Want me to make breakfast?" he asks her but Casey shakes her head "Nope" she giggles "I'm just going to nursery" Aaron's eyes focus and he realises that his daughter is dressed "Victoria made me breakfast but she said I had to wake you up before I go to nursery"

"Thank you!" Aaron tells her with a smile "I'm awake"

"Are you going to see Daddy?" she asks with a hopeful smile "will he come pick me up"

Aaron didn't know what to say to her. She was missing Jackson like mad, he knew that. The two nights he had been back home he had heard her call out to him in her sleep, obviously noticing his absence. So instead of trying to think up something to say he says "I'll pick you up today"

Her face falls and Aaron feels his heart break for her. "Ok daddy" she says in a voice that almost breaks his heart.

Aaron watches as she walks out of the room and falls back down onto the bed with a sigh. He kept going over what Jackson had said the night before; he just hoped he was over it.

It was nearing ten o'clock by the time Aaron arrived at the hospital. Once again he left without speaking to Hazel. She'd only want to go over what Jackson had said at the hospital and Aaron didn't want to talk about it, to her anyway.

The blinds of his room were closed but Aaron didn't notice, nor did he knock on the door. Why did he have to? He didn't as far as he was concerned.

"Don't you knock?" Jackson barks out when he notices Aaron. Aaron's eyebrows pull together. They nurse, the male one whose name Aaron can't quite remember is giving Jackson a bed bath.

Aaron ignores him and focuses on Jackson "You think after twelve years you'd know I didn't knock"

"Do you mind" Jackson says in a frosty tone "we're busy here"

Aaron nods "Yeah, I'll just sit here with my paper"

"Sit outside" Jackson says and Aaron laughs "You what? No" he turns to look at the nurse and says "I'll do it if you want"

"I don't want you to" says Jackson causing both the nurse and Aaron to look at him "Shut up" Aaron says to him, thinking he's joking "I'll do it" he tells the nurse once more then Jackson snaps "I don't want you to do it Aaron, wait outside"

Aaron turns to him quickly, fire in his eyes. He's angry, angry at Jackson for acting the way he is and speaking to him the way he was "Fine!" Aaron snaps throwing his paper onto the table at the foot of the bed and storming out.

The nurse looks at Jackson "do you want me to get him back? He seems upset?"

Jackson scoffs and says "He's a drama queen, he'll cool off"

It was a further ten minute before the nurse came out of the room. Which consisted of ten minutes of Aaron pacing the hallway cursing Jackson for behaving the way he was, there was no need for it.

"Is he still in a mood?" Aaron asks the nurse and he nods his head and offers Aaron a tight smile "he's having a hard time dealing with the worst case scenario"

"We've been through worse" Aaron finds himself telling the nurse "he should just be thankful he's alive" there's a moment of silence between Aaron and the nurse "I'm going to tell him that" Aaron says before moving past the nurse and back into the room.

Jackson was on the bed, his head back and his eyes closed. He heard the door open and he knew it could only be one person. He didn't want to open his eyes because he didn't want to see the hurt he had caused him, he hated hurting Aaron.

"You can snap at me as much as you want Jackson. I'm not going anywhere" Aaron finally speaks and Jackson opens his eyes. Staring into those blue eyes that he loves so much, he can see the hurt in them, the confusion and he doesn't want to be the cause of it but he doesn't want to be a burden to Aaron.

"You told me to think about what I said, I have" he says "I haven't changed my mind. You're better off without me"

Aaron scoffs

"If I'm paralysed Aaron. I'll be no use to you or to Casey. I'm not holding you back. I'm not letting you hold yourself back. I love you too much to do that"

Aaron laughs. A sarcastic laughs and says "You love me? Well you seem to have forgotten what we mean to each other. What we promised on the 23rd of December 4 years ago, sorry almost five years ago"

"I remember" Jackson tells him "every word. Which is why I'm not letting you look after me"

"You don't even know if you'll be paralysed!" Aaron exclaims

"I'm not taking that chance!"

Aaron ignores him. Ignores him trying to get rid of him and sits down in the cold hard plastic chair by the bed. He tells him about Casey because he knows while he's talking about Casey he won't say anything about Aaron leaving him.

Aaron wasn't about to leave him. Jackson knew it and while he spoke about Casey he didn't have the heart to stop him. He missed his daughter and hearing about her made him feel better. He didn't want to be a burden to her either. She was just three years old. He would be no use to her if he was paralysed.

Aaron had to leave just after two pm. He had to collect Casey from nursery but no one else was around. Hazel hadn't arrived yet, she was obviously giving them time together. "I need to go get Casey" Aaron says

"I'm not thick" Jackson replies and Aaron shakes his head "coulda fooled me" Aaron tells him, standing up and leaning over. He was intent on kissing him but at the last second Jackson turns his face away and all Aaron gets is his cheek.

"What was that?"

"We're over" Jackson states "which means no kissing"

Aaron rolls his eyes "Feeling sorry for yourself again, alright" he makes for the door "Cheer up before I get back, yeah?"

"I don't want you to come back"

Aaron ignores him and keeps towards the door "See you later Jackson"

* * *

It's after eight when Aaron returns to the hospital. Hazel had come back just before he left, informing him that Jackson was in the exact same mood. Snapping and telling her how they were finished.

"He's doing my head in!" Aaron exclaimed before he left Dale Head.

There are no nurses around as he walks into the ward and into Jackson's room. "What are you doing here?" Jackson snaps "I told you. We're through"

"Yeah. I told you we weren't"

Jackson presses his bell, to summon a nurse.

"Jackson come on. You know this isn't what you want"

"It is" he assures him just as a nurse comes in.

"Yeah? What can I do for you?" the nurse asks and Jackson looks at Aaron "I don't want him here. I want him to leave but he won't. Could you remove him please"

Aaron can't quite believe what he's hearing "Ignore him" he tells the nurse "he's being mental"

The nurse looks between the two of them "I uh…"

"I want him to leave" Jackson states clearly "and I don't want him to come back. He's not allowed in"

The nurse turns her attention to Aaron and says "I'm sorry Sir. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

Aaron glares at Jackson "I'm not going anywhere" he states "and he doesn't really want it, tell her" he demands

"I want him to go"

"Sir if you don't leave I'll have to call security"

Aaron can't believe that Jackson is taking things this far, going to call security on him? "Fine" he relents "I'll go"

* * *

Over the next five days Aaron turns up at the hospital only to be told Jackson didn't want to see him. Hazel tried to get him to see sense. Victoria tried, everyone tried but he wouldn't listen. Aaron didn't move he sat outside of Jackson's room, telling him every time the door opened that he wasn't going anywhere and he wasn't giving up on him.

It was almost a week later, a week of Jackson being determined he didn't want to see him when it all came to a head. Aaron had been late arriving at the hospital; he was late because he stopped off to help someone with car trouble. It was a woman with two kids and he just couldn't drive past her. He was going soft in his old age.

As he had been doing for the past five days, he walked towards Jackson's hospital room and pushed the door open, fully expecting to hear Jackson says "I don't want you here" but that didn't happen. Aaron pushed the door open and the last thing or person he ever expected to see was standing in the room. Jerry.

"What the hell?" Aaron demands barging into the room "what are you doing here?" he asks, getting into Jerry's face "he doesn't want you here"

"Aaron!" Jackson calls out his name but is ignored "didn't Hazel give you the message"

"Jackson wants me here" Jerry tells him, smirk on his face "AARON!" Jackson calling his name finally registers for the mechanic "What?" he snaps pulling his attention from Jerry and onto Jackson.

"I asked him here" he tells them and Aaron can't hide the hurt on his face. He takes a step towards Jackson's bed "You want him here?"

Jackson nods "what happened to what we said last week?" he asks

"He's my Dad" Jackson explains and Aaron scoffs at that "You're Dad that hates you, hates us cause we're Gay" Aaron steps towards Jerry once more "You're Dad that didn't come to our wedding" Aaron tilts his head to the side and says "we are married by the way" he turns back to Jackson, eyes wide with anger and hurt "Your dad that hasn't once met our daughter"

"You're what?" Jerry asks and Aaron can hear the disgust in his tone. Aaron straightens himself up "Our daughter" he repeats "we have a kid and I swear you say one thing about her and I will end you"

Jerry looks at Jackson "You didn't tell me that"

"Not like you've been here that long" Jackson tells him "and I thought Mum would have told you when she was born"

"This is all very touching" Aaron says sarcastically "but you need to leave before I make you"

Jerry scoffs

"Oh granddad" Aaron says "I'd take you down in a second, give me reason" he smiles and winks at him "just one"

"What are you doing here?" Jackson snaps at him, getting his attention "I'm here everyday"

"I said I didn't want you in my room, get out before I call security, I don't want you here"

"But you want him?"

Jackson nods "Yeah. I want him. Not you. Get out of here Aaron"

Aaron bangs his fists down onto the table at the foot of Jackson's bed and turns to Jerry. He looks angry and fierce, Jerry is right to be a little nervous. Aaron is still unpredictable "Fine!" he exclaims "If you wanna wallow in self pity for the rest of your life you do that. I'm done. Tell your Mum to move out" with that said he slams the door behind him and walks out of the hospital.

Aaron doesn't know what to do. He walks out of the hospital and paces the ground "Aaron?" he hears someone say and he turns around. It's one of Jackson's nurses "Hi" he says to her "I'm not good company right now"

She nods "I followed you out, are you ok?"

Aaron runs a hand over his shaven head "He's driving me nuts. Pushing me away. He's got his Dad in there, I hate his dad, he hates his dad"

"He's just trying to deal with things but there's a chance he may not even be paralysed"

"He likes to focus on the worse case scenario" Aaron tells her "He was in an accident a few years ago"

The nurse nods "I read his record"

"So you know he's scared of going back to that. I dealt with it then, eventually anyway but that was 12 years ago, things are much different now"

"He just needs you to be there for him, make him see your not going anywhere"

"He doesn't care, he keeps pushing. He knows how to push me away"

"You can't let him. You need to push back, show him that you're not going anywhere" the nurse tells him "he talks about you and…Casey is it?"

Aaron nods

"He talks about you two all the time, he misses you. Maybe if you brought her in, he might feel better"

"He doesn't want…" Aaron trails off, suddenly struck with an idea "thank you!" he grins at her "I think I just realised what I need to do"

"You're welcome" the nurse says laughing a little as she watches Aaron run towards the car park.

Aaron can't believe he's been so stupid for the past week. He's had the one thing that would change Jackson's mind, that would stop him moping about yet he never used it, never used her because Jackson said he didn't want her seeing him like that. That was tough as far as Aaron was concerned now. He was taking Casey out of nursery and taking her to the hospital. He wouldn't tell him to leave or threaten him with security if she was there and he would, hopefully at least, stop going on about them being without him. They needed them and he needed them.

Aaron and Casey returned to the hospital an hour later. Casey was excited about seeing her Dad for the first time in almost two weeks. She missed him "Where is he Daddy!" she exclaims jumping up and down "Soon. You have to be quiet baby" he tells her and she nods.

"This must be Casey" the nurse from earlier, Karen her name is says "Yeah" Aaron says "she's going to help me convince Jackson he's being a moron"

"I'm going to see my Daddy" Casey tells the nurse "Yeah? Well I bet he can't wait to see you"

"Is it alright if i?" Aaron asks and Karen nods "He still says he doesn't want you there but…I didn't see you" she tells him and walks off in the opposite direction. Aaron couldn't care less if Jerry is still with him or not, he pushes the door open anyway.

The room is quiet and its only Jackson that is in it. His eyes are closed and he doesn't open them not until Casey squeals "Daddy!"

His eyes shoot open and he looks towards the door, thinking he's seeing things at first but quickly realising as Aaron and Casey get closer that he is indeed not seeing things and the two of them are really there.

"She missed you" he says and before Jackson can say anything about it he places her on the bed beside him and she wraps her tiny arms around his neck.

Jackson moves him arms around her, he's still stiff and not in complete control, he closes his eyes, hugging her and doesn't notice when Aaron steps outside.

He's leaving them alone so Jackson can see that he's not useless, that he can still be a Dad to Casey no matter what might be wrong with him. After a few minutes he steps back inside "Why did you leave us alone?" Jackson demands "I could have dropped her"

Aaron disagrees "No you couldn't have. You love her. You'd never hurt her"

"I don't have full control over my body Aaron!" he snaps and Casey frowns "Why are you shouting Daddy?" she asks him and Jackson looks at her "I'm not baby" he tells her "Promise"

"Yet she's fine. We're fine. I'm fine and you're fine" Aaron steps closer to the bed "You still want nothing to do with us?"

Tears fill Jackson's big brown eyes and he looks at Casey, swallowing the lump in his throat "I never wanted that" he admits "I just don't want to burden the two of you"

"You burden us about as much as we burden you. We're team. The three of us"

Jackson looks up at Aaron, their eyes locking "What did I do to deserve you, eh?"

Aaron grins "Ask me to play pool"

"Best decision of my life that"

"It really was" Aaron tells him, bending down to kiss his lips.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	37. BE37

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - So, as some of you may or may not know I love Jackson (and Marc and I'm seriously considering moving to York just to bed him but that's a different story) and his new storyline is depressing me. I hate seeing him hurt so I've had to wrap up this story now before I can't write it anymore! LAST CHAPTER! ENJOY!_

* * *

Four weeks later and Jackson it's the day of Jackson leaving hospital. After fearing the worst and pushing Aaron away it turned out his fears were unfounded. He wasn't paralysed and after his swelling went down and after some intense physio Jackson was able to walk, as well as he could before the accident. Aaron had never been as relieved about anything as he was when he realised that Jackson could walk. Not for his own sake but for Jackson's because knew he didn't want to be paralysed again. He knew it would kill him and he never wanted to see Jackson as down or as upset as he had been before he got better last time.

"Ready to go soft lad?" Aaron asks as he walks into the hospital room, wanting to take his husband home. He missed him in the bed.

"You have no idea!" Jackson exclaims standing up quickly "Where's Casey?" he adds disappointed that his daughter wasn't there.

"Nursery" Aaron explains "I thought I'd let you settle in before she comes home"

Jackson pulls a face "I've missed her and you" Jackson tells him "I just want to be with you and her, that's all I want"

Aaron takes a deep breath "Well" he says "when we get home I'll go get her, what do you say about that?"

"Great" Jackson says, dropping a kiss onto his waiting lips "now! Take me home"

"Always so demanding" Aaron says rolling his eyes as he grabs Jackson's bag. "You like it" Jackson tells him as they walk out of the hospital.

Aaron shrugs "Maybe…sometimes"

Twenty minutes later they're home "God it feels good to be home" Jackson says as he drops down onto the couch "Good to have you home" Aaron tells him "it'll be even better to have you in bed tonight. I've missed you like mad"

Jackson scoffs "You've missed the sex"

Aaron is in the kitchen shoving Jackson's clothes from the hospital into the washing machine "haha" he says to Jackson's comment "I've missed sex as much as you"

"That much then?" Jackson says as Aaron walks back into the living room. Aaron sits on the arm of the couch. His hand falling around Jackson's shoulders and dropping a kiss onto Jackson's head "we don't have to pick Casey up until three unless we really want to"

Jackson smiles, getting what Aaron means immediately "As much as I love that idea I think we can save that activity for when Casey is in bed, what do you say?"

Aaron nods "Sure thing" he tells him "let's go get her then"

It's half eight and Casey has been in bed for an hour "Where's Victoria and Adam?" Jackson asks realising that he hadn't seen them since he got home. Aaron smiled shyly "I asked them to stay away tonight, wanted it to be just us"

Jackson grins "Thank you" he tells him "it's perfect"

Aaron nods "I bought us some cans and thought we should get something to eat? What do you think?"

"I think I love you" Jackson says "and I don't deserve you"

Aaron rolls his eyes "don't be daft" he tells him. He stands up "Are you hungry?" he checks before making his intentions clear "Not really" Jackson tells him "what we had early was enough for me"

"Good" Aaron says extending his hand "I'm knackered, how about an early night?"

Slipping his hand into Aaron's and allowing himself to be pulled to his feet "Great idea" Jackson tells him "I'm knackered too"

Aaron leads him upstairs, to their bedroom both of them eager to get into the bed, into bedroom to reacquaint themselves with the other's body.

Aaron had taken the week off of work. To help Jackson settle back in at home, he was having a lie in whilst Jackson took Casey to nursery. His sleep was disturbed by Jackson's mobile blaring loud from the bedside cabinet.

Aaron groaned and reached out, snatching it from its spot on the bedside cabinet. He didn't bother looking at the caller ID because he was still half asleep with his eyes closed "hello?"

"Jackson?"

Aaron knew who the caller was immediately. It was Jerry "don't call this number again" he says ending the phone call.

When Jackson gets back from the nursery, Aaron tells him to call his Father and tell him to leave them alone. Jackson had told him a few weeks ago to leave them alone but clearly Jerry hadn't got the message.

"I'll do it" Jackson promises, stripping off his clothes and joining Aaron back in their bed "but we have some making up to do" he informs him and Aaron is more than happy to oblige with that. He hadn't touched Jackson for almost six weeks and the previous night had only been one round, they had both been too knackered from the day but they had all morning to rectify that.

Their life together hadn't been easy, far from it but they were together, they loved each other and they had Casey. Both of them knew that it wasn't going to be plain sailing. They knew that problems would come and they would go but no matter what they would face them together. Aaron wouldn't let Jackson go and Jackson would be damned if he lost Aaron, they loved each other far too much for that to happen.

"I'm moving out" Victoria tells them, three days after Jackson gets out of hospital "You what? Why?" Jackson asks

"It's about time you three had the house to yourselves" Victoria explains "and me and Adam are gonna try living together"

Aaron laughs out loud at that "You and him are going to live together? You'll kill each other before the end of the week"

Victoria lifts her eyebrows, looks Aaron up and down and says "People said that about us, now look at us, been living together for 4 years"

"True" Aaron agrees "you don't have to move out" he tells her "we kinda like having you here"

"Moving out will be good for all of us" she tells him "think about it. We can keep Casey over night, giving you two the whole house to yourselves"

Aaron and Jackson liked that idea "When do you move out?" Jackson asks with a grin and Victoria shakes her head "Tomorrow" she tells them "we're renting Dale View"

"Good stuff, not far then" Aaron says.

Victoria moved out the next day. They had the house to themselves after that and for the first time since they were married, for the first time since they had Casey they had the whole house to themselves. They could be a family, a proper one for the first ever time.

Jackson was washing up the plates from dinner on Saturday night. Casey was in the living room watching a cartoon. Aaron walks into the kitchen and fits himself along the length of Jackson's back, resting his head in the crook of his neck.

"Hey you" Jackson says turning his head to the side to look at him "hey" Aaron replies, kissing his cheek.

"What's up?"

"Nothing" Aaron says pressing kisses to the exposed flesh of Jackson's neck "just thought I'd keep you company"

"You could dry"

Aaron lets out a small laugh "I'm comfy here" he says tightening his arms around his waist a little more, pulling him tighter against his body.

"You just stay there then" Jackson says with a smile on his face "Keep your hands to yourself though"

"You're not that irresistible"

"Stop lying" Jackson retorts "you know you find me irresistible"

They stood in silence until Jackson was done cleaning up, then he turned around and hooked his arms around Aaron's neck "what are they chances of Casey going to sleep early?"

Aaron's face screws up "Slim, she's way too excited about watching DVDs with us, she's missed spending the weekend with us"

Jackson nods, he'd missed it too "Ok, let's go do that then!" he pulls Aaron behind him, into the living room to join their daughter.

They sat down on the sofa. Casey in-between them watching some animated Disney film. Jackson looks over at Aaron, his eyes are focused on the TV but his arm is around the back of the couch, by Jackson's head. Jackson can't help but smile, he feels as if he's the luckiest man alive. He has everything he could possibly ever want and more.

Aaron turns around, feeling eyes on him and smiles as their eyes meet, before turning the attention back to the TV.

Yeah. They were lucky. The two of them had everything they could possibly ever want and more. Life was good and could only get better from now on as they watched their daughter grow up, as they brought her up, together.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!


	38. BE38

**Breakeven**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - So, this has been in my head ever since I finished this story. I wanted to jump into the future and end it there, I did want it to be one chapter but it turns out I'm going to be doing two so...enjoy!_

* * *

_Tell my heart to stop beating__  
__Tell my mind not to think__  
__Thrown a stone in the ocean__  
__And tell that stone not to sink_

_Tell the world to stop turnin' around__  
__Tell the sky not to be so blue__  
__Tell the rain to stop fallin' down like tears__  
__But don't tell me to stop loving you__  
__Don't tell me to stop loving you_

_Tell the past to be forgotten__  
__Tell my life not to exist__  
__Tell a promise made to be unspoken__  
__And my lips not to have been kissed_

* * *

"I'm not getting married"

A 53 year old Jackson Walsh was stood in his kitchen cleaning away the remaining dirty plates and glasses from the night before. He had had a few friends around and hadn't gotten round to cleaning up the dirty plates and glasses the night before. He almost jumped out of his skin at the unexpected noise, a noise which was quickly followed by his daughter's voice. Immediately concerned for her, he dropped the dish towel and walked out into hall, just in the living room just in time to see his daughter step in it also, tear stains on her face. As soon as she spotted him, her dam burst and tears came flooding from her eyes as she threw herself into his arms. He caught her, just like he had ever since the day she was born, every time she had gotten hurt over the years. This time though, this time he had no idea what could have been wrong, he had only spoken to her the previous night and she had been fine.

"I can't marry him Daddy" she sobbed into his neck as she clung onto him. Five minutes later her crying has subsided and she pulls away, her brown hair clinging to her tear stained cheeks. Cupping her face Jackson pushes the hair away, his brows pulling together "What's wrong?" he asks softly.

Quickly she frowns and steps away "What do you think is wrong?" she howls, her tears quickly turning into pent up anger "I mean really, can you think of any reason why I wouldn't want to get married?"

Jackson stood in front of her, a shocked and bewildered expression, he couldn't think of any reason why she wouldn't want to get married. Jake was an amazing guy and he loved the bones of his daughter "Did Jake do something?"

Casey barks out a laugh "Jake? No" she answers "He was dead upset when I told him I couldn't marry him"

"Then what's wrong?"

Casey takes a step towards him, crossing her arms over her chest and says "What's wrong? Oh, I don't know" she says in a sarcastic tone "It couldn't be that my role models, you know my parents, after being married for thirty years have just split up could it?" she bites out, anger taking over her once again.

Jackson's eyes widen as he realises what her problem was. He and Aaron had split up just over six weeks ago. She'd taken it hard when he'd told her but she seemed to be coping, apparently not.

"Baby" he says stepping closer reaching out is hand but she steps back "How Dad?" she asks her voice breaking "how could you split up?" but before he can answer her she has once again threw herself into his arms. He guides her to the couch, sitting her down and letting her cry it out. She obviously needed it.

Ten minutes later and Casey has stopped crying for the second time, she's sat staring at her Father continuously shaking her head as he tries to convince her that she and Jake weren't like him and Aaron but she was having none of it. She was as pig headed as Aaron was.

"You know Dad?" she starts "growing up, when kids used to give me grief about the two of you i'd just say 'my parents love each other more than yours, I'll always have them together'" she scoffs "who's laughing now, eh?"

"We were together for thirty two years Casey, that's a long time"

"Exactly! How can you be splitting up?" she demands "How can you be getting a divorce? You love each other!"

"We did" Jackson tells her softly but she's once again shaking her head "Did?" she asks "Are you telling me you don't love Dad anymore?"

"People fall in and out of love all the time" he says and as soon as the words left his mouth he could have bit his tongue. He knew she was going to through his words right back at him "Exactly!" she says jumping to her feet and pacing "So, what's to stop me and Jake from doing the same?" she asks "I'm not putting myself through that. I see how much you're hurting"

"What?" Jackson asks, playing dump "I'm alright, I'm coping"

"This is me Dad" she reminds him "I've been with you all these years; you remember the last time you two fell out? I was what? 12? You were a mess until you two sorted things out. You're doing better this time but you still miss him"

Jackson didn't want to talk about his feelings. Casey was right. He was still hurting, he missed Aaron more and more every day and the fact that he worked right next door didn't help. He tried not to look out the window, seeing him hurt. He'd been doing his best to avoid him for the past six weeks. Deciding it was best to change the subject and wondering why, after six weeks she was just reacting now he asks

"What brought this on?"

"Because of that idiot..." she stops herself before she goes too far, her eyes going wide. Jackson, noting her reaction says "What idiot?"

Shrugging she turns away, walking to the window "Doesn't matter" he suddenly knows what idiot she's talking about. His idiot, their idiot, Aaron.

"What's he done?" he asks.

Casey stares out into the village. Sometimes she says too much, this was one of those times. She couldn't tell him. It would break his heart, she was positive he didn't know, he would have told her. She knew that she wouldn't be able to get out of the house without telling him. Steeling herself for the reaction she turned to him "he asked me something"

"What?"

"If he could bring his new boyfriend to the wedding" she says it quietly, she says it quickly but still, he caught it. Not once and not even for a second did she take her eyes off of him. She watched the shock look passing over him, she watched as he fought to contain the hurt in his eyes.

"Oh" he says, taking a step back and turning away. He felt as if someone had just stabbed him in the stomach. The pain was unbearable. He had been with him for thirty two years. He was the only guy Aaron had ever been with only now, now apparently he wasn't.

Before he can react and before Casey can say anything the front door is once again pushed open only to be closed seconds later. Casey and Jackson both turn towards the source of the noise. They know who it is. Only one person slams the door that way.

"Jackson!" they hear a worried voice call out "Have you seen-" his question dying on his lips as he steps into the living room and his eyes land on Casey

"Casey" he adds before frowning at her "what the hell are you doing here?" he demands to know "Jake is worried sick"

"Drop dead" she barks at him practically snarling. Jackson has yet to say anything. He still can't take his eyes off of Aaron, he hadn't been this close to him in weeks, and they hadn't been in this house together in weeks.

Ignoring her Aaron turns to Jackson "What's going on?" he asks "Jake says she's called off the wedding"

Jackson can't speak; he's still got horrid images of Aaron and another man running through his head. It's quite literally turning his stomach, he nods, answering Aaron's question.

"Why?"

Knowing how her father is feeling, Casey speaks up "Why do you think?" she barks at him "because of our chat last night"

Aaron's eyes widen and he glances at Jackson. Seeing his expression, the way he's looking at him, he knows but he has to ask "have you told him?"

"Course" she fires back "I _love_ him, I don't lie or hide things from him"

Aaron's eyes went wide his eyes turning from his daughter to his husband, his life. He doesn't know what to say, what can he say? Sorry? Why should he? After thirty two years together, a marriage, a home, a daughter Jackson had been the one to end it. To tell him that he couldn't live the way they were living. He shouldn't feel bad but yet, he did. The expression on Jackson's face, the one he was currently trying to mask only he was never able to hide anything from Aaron. Aaron's heart broke.

"Jackson-" he says licking his lips and looking at Casey, for help for back up but she just crosses her arms over her chest, raising her eyebrows as if she's waiting to hear his excuse.

"I don't have to explain myself" Aaron says suddenly, his stubbornness getting the better of him. He didn't have to explain nor did he even want to attempt to, he turns to his daughter, advancing on her "You!" he says shaking his finger at her "don't try and pin this on me. If you don't wanna marry him then fine"

Casey's glares right back, a scoff escaping her lips "Don't pin this on you?" she fires back "You that goes from being with someone for thirty years-"

"Thirty two actually" Aaron adds but he's ignored "to shacking up with someone else two minutes later? I mean tell me Dad, did you ever love him? Or me?"

Aaron wasn't quite expecting that question; he never expected his love for Jackson or his daughter to ever be doubted especially not by his daughter.

"Casey" Jackson says bringing himself back into the conversation because of the look he saw flash across Aaron's face at her question. Even now, after what he knew he hated seeing him hurt and would try to avoid it happening.

Casey turned to him then, her eyes wide and shaking her head "Even now?" she asks before turning and throwing herself onto the chair by the window, facing both of her parents. "I'm not getting married just to split up years down the line"

"You won't" Aaron says but she growls at him and says "Like you two? I'm pretty sure you too said that at one point"

Aaron and Jackson share a look at that point. Aaron pulling a face, a face that said to Jackson 'You do this because you know I'm useless' and it was true. He was, whilst growing up whenever Casey had a problem, a broken heart anything really Jackson fixed it. Aaron stood on the sidelines threatening to kill whoever hurt her.

"Casey..." Jackson says softly crossing the distance between himself and his daughter, crouching down in front of her "do you love you Jake?"

Staring into those big brown eyes that had comforted her through the years, she could see all his emotions, could see how worried he was about her, how hurt he was about what he had just found out about Aaron. Unable to look in his eyes and answer she turns away, whispering "Yes"

Taking her hands into his Jackson forces her to look at him, with some gentle words, she finally looks at him "Then don't cancel the wedding" he tells her "you two are perfect for each other"

She looks at Jackson before her gaze flickers to Aaron, he too looks worried but looking at him is making her want to snap, how could he had moved on? Feeling anger bubbling up within her she turns back to the calming influence in her life "Is love enough?"

Jackson nods his head quickly "It's all you need" he informs her "Don't throw away your future because me and him didn't get it right. We gave it our best shot. That's all you can do"

Once again he found her arms wrapping around his neck as she clung to him, fresh tears streaming down her face. She clung to Jackson but her eyes never once left those of Aaron's, their eyes locked, deep blue staring into deep blue a silent conversation. Casey demanding to know exactly how he could move on from Jackson and Aaron failing to come up with an answer. After a few minutes Aaron turns and walks out of Dale Head. Casey closes her eyes at that point, holding her Father.

A few seconds or minutes later neither of them were completely sure, Jackson pulled away "Wedding back on then?"

With a grin Casey nods excitedly "Yeah" she says "It's back on"

"Call Jake, he'll be going mad"

"Will do" she says already pulling her mobile out of her pocket. Jackson walks back into the kitchen, letting her make the phone call in private and resuming his cleaning up duties.

Xxx

"I'm sorry about my little break down earlier" Casey says walking into the kitchen and picking up a dish towel. Jackson turns, a smile on his face "That's why I'm here"

"I'm not letting him" she says softly "he's not bringing his bit of rough to my wedding. He's still married for gods sake"

Jackson hadn't told her, in fact he hadn't even told Aaron but hearing that he had someone else, that he had moved on had sealed the deal in his mind. He was ready to share "Not for long"

"What?" Casey says quickly "what do you mean?"

"I'm going to get a divorce. He's moved on. We're not the same people we were when we got married"

"Dad no" she says, trying to stop her voice from cracking "Hey, come on" he says rubbing her arm "We did well, I don't regret it. I'll never regret it. I got you out of it"

"You love him!" she snaps "and he loves you! And idiot can see that"

"It's not enough anymore"

Casey lifts her eyebrows "You just told me it was enough" she argues "were you lying?"

"No. When we got married it was enough but now, after all these years it's not enough for us. We're too different" Jackson sometimes wonders if the only reason they made it so long together was because of Casey, because both of them knew that if they had split up when she was a kid, they never could have agreed who got her. He hated to think that Casey was what kept them together but it was looking more and more like it because ever since she had moved out, four short months ago, things went downhill, rapidly.

"I'm not having some stranger at my wedding" she scoffs "It's not happening"

"Please?"

Shaking her head Casey can't help but laugh "You're asking me let your husband's boyfriend come to my wedding?"

Jackson nods

"You're nuts"

Again he nods "I put up with your Dad for years, what do you expect?"

Casey can only grin at that and nod "I'm going to go see Jake"

"Alright" Jackson says pulling her into a goodbye hug "Still on for Friday though, yeah?"

"Friday" Casey nods "I get married in five days" she says pulling a face "I lose my baby girl in five days"

Casey is quick to deny that "You'll never lose me" she tells him "I'm a daddy's girl"

With one final hug she leaves Dale Head. She lives in Emmerdale too, she lives in the flats that had been built up by the factory and the dingles place with Jake. It was a short walk from Dale Head to there. She loved the village and couldn't imagine leaving it, even when married.

It was Sunday, the village was always quiet on a Sunday but as she stepped outside of the house she heard loud banging coming from around the corner, coming from the garage. Expecting to find the garage all closed up what with it being a Sunday she rounded the corner, just to check only to find her Dad practically assaulting a car engine with what looked like a hammer. Shoving her hands into her pockets she made up the hill towards him, protecting herself against the cold wind.

He hadn't heard her coming, she knew that by the way he didn't even move as she walked towards him.

"Dad"

Immediatly he stopped what he was doing and turned to her, a smile on his lips "Jackson sort it?"

"Doesn't he always?"

"Not always" Aaron says, a sad look on his face and in his eyes. Casey frowns "You two" she says "What are you like?"

Aaron shrugs. At fifty years of age he still can't express his feelings the way he wants to. He still can't admit when he's wrong. He's stubborn and the only person that can get through to him, get him to stop being so stubborn seems to have given up on him.

"Do you miss him?" she asks and without hesistation he replies

"Everyday"

"Why aren't you together?"

Aaron merely shrugs. He doesn't have a reason for that. He just knows that for the past few months it just hadn't seemed right, they hadn't seemed right. The only time they spoke to each was to argue and the bed? All they did in that was sleep and even then they slept as far apart as possible. They just drifted apart, no clue why.

"Do you remember the last time you split up and you two moved out?"

Aaron shook his head, he was unable to remember that

"Well I do" Casey says "I was twelve, I can't remember why it was but you moved out for six weeks. Six weeks it took before you two found your way back and in those six weeks both of you were a mess but neither one of you tried to move on"

"Casey..."

"I'm speaking!" she says scolding him "You stuffed your face, put on weight and drank too much. Dad didn't sleep and didn't eat for worrying about you and then finally after six weeks you came home and that was it. That was twelve years ago Dad. You can't split up, you're my parents, you belong together"

"It's different this time Case"

"Why?"

Aaron shrugs, he wasn't sure why, it just felt different. Jackson seemed different. He seemed more final "Your Dad ended it this time, told me to go, we gave it our best shot"

Casey opened her mouth to speak, to say something but closed it again. She was too emotional too talk about this now, too worried about her wedding and about other stuff "Your...boy..you're friend" she says "can come to the wedding"

"He can?" Aaron says and Casey notes the way his eyes light up, frowning at it. His eyes should only light up like that for one person.

"Yeah" she nods before walking away leaving Aaron with a self satisfied smirk. He was too old to be playing games, he knew that but he also knew he was extremely close to losing Jackson and that isn't something he wanted. He had always imagined being with Jackson until the day he died, or the day Jackson died and he always planned on dying soon after. He couldn't live without the other man, he needed him to breathe. He was going to get him back, he had a plan, the plan involved Casey's wedding. He needed him back but he knew that this plan of his was either going to work or back fire massively, it was a risk he was willing to take.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW! PLEASE?


	39. BE39

**Breakeven **

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - So here we go! Like I said, it's been in my head for weeks, needed to get it out. Last chapter._

* * *

_How can I make you believe__  
__How happy I am when you're with me__  
__I cross my heart, I'm telling the truth__  
__A promise is a promise, so I promise you_

_I'll never let go of your hand__  
__I'll always be faithful, I know I can__  
__I never stop caring__  
__I'll always be true__  
__I'll forever love you_

_You make all my fears disappear__  
__I'm braver than I could imagine__  
__You give me courage when all hope is gone__  
__When I'm feeling lost, your love keeps me strong_

_I'll never let go of your hand__  
__I'll always be faithful, I know I can_

* * *

The service had gone off without a hitch and as expected Casey looked beautiful. Jackson couldn't believe she was old enough to get married; it barely seemed like yesterday since they brought her home, completely unaware of what they would be taken on. He was stood next to Victoria and Aaron. Victoria was grinning like mad. She was still her daughter too. He and Aaron had walked her down the aisle, Casey saying she couldn't choose between them and that the two of them needed to do it. The wedding was the first time they would spend a minute together since Sunday when Casey had almost called off the wedding. Jackson had made a point of avoiding his husband but making a point of avoiding him didn't stop him from seeing the boyfriend, seeing the boyfriend go into Dale View where Aaron was living late one night. That hurt. There was only one possible reason he could be going in at that time of night, the thought cut like a knife.

The reception had started and Jackson had watched as Aaron took a call on his mobile before disappearing outside. He wanted to scream but he couldn't. He was the one that ended it again; he was the one that had seen his solicitor the day before to begin the divorce. He couldn't blame Aaron for moving on, could he? Sleeping with one guy ever since you came out must have been hard for Aaron and now, now he could spread his wings, sleep with whoever he wanted. He was, after all, single.

The first dance had come and gone and Casey had dance with both Jackson and Aaron, Aaron was the more reluctant of the two. He hated dancing. It was almost 9pm and the party had been going for a long time, they had all night and Casey wasn't leaving for her honeymoon until the morning after. They planned on making a night of it. It was when he was at the bar, waiting for another drink that he saw it. Jackson. Only he wasn't alone, there was some guy, some guy around Jackson's age practically pawing him and Jackson looked to Aaron as if he was lapping it up. An uncontrollable rage burnt through his body at the sight. How dare anyone hit on his husband right in front of him.

"You've got a boyfriend remember" a voice said from behind him. Casey's voice, he turns around and his eyes meet an identical pair "You what?"

She nods in Jackson's direction "You" she says "looking like you wanna deck the guy Dad's flirting with. You're the one that brought the new boyfriend to your daughter's wedding"

Aaron scowls at her and her eyes widen as she finally gets it "I get it" she says "He's just to make him jealous; only it's not working the way you planned is it? He's taking it alright? Even flirting himself"

"Don't know what you're talking about" Aaron says turning back around to collect his drinks and stalking back towards his 'boyfriend' Casey couldn't believe she'd been so stupid. She couldn't believe she'd actually thought that he was moving on, that he could move on. The two of them were crazy about each other, she only had to hear stories from people who knew them before she was born to know that they were made for each other. They were polar opposites but they worked, the grounded each other. One wouldn't be happy without the other. She knew her Father was planning on getting a divorce but she had faith, faith that Aaron would stop him before it got that far. Faith that they would get back together before it got anywhere near the divorcing stage because, Aaron was still clearly crazy about Jackson.

After ten minutes of trying to ignore it Aaron found that he couldn't and he stood up from his seat and stalked towards Jackson. He couldn't watch him flirt with someone else, his plan obviously hadn't worked. He needed a new tactic, a more direct tactic.

Xxx

A slow song had just started playing and Casey and Jake were on the floor along with a few other couples. Aaron stopped in front of Jackson "Dance with me?" he asks, looking him straight in the eye.

Jackson is slightly taken aback by the request "Excuse me?"

"Dance with me?" Aaron repeats. Jackson makes a show of looking over Aaron's shoulder "don't think you're boyfriend would like that idea too much"

"I wanna dance with my husband" Aaron says "Just my husband" he adds reaching out to take his hand in his, running his thumb over his knuckles.

"What about your boyfriend?" Jackson repeats and Aaron smiles slightly, before leading them onto the dance floor and pulling Jackson against his body. Aaron can sense that he's being watched, that they're being watched but he doesn't care who's watching them. He just wants to feel Jackson's arms around him again, it had been too long.

They dance as close as they can to each other. Their bodies are touching, their heads resting against the other as they swayed gently to the music.

"I miss you Jackson" he says softly, quietly into his ear. Jackson closes his eyes and takes a deep breath "you're the one with the boyfriend"

"I'm the one with the boyfriend to make you jealous" he says "I haven't slept with him," he adds "I can't" he says "not that I've tried" he adds "cause no one makes me feel the way you do"

"Then why is he here?"

Aaron pulls a face and Jackson sighs "We're too old for this Aaron"

"We're never too old" Aaron complains "and anyway, I'm still younger and better looking than you"

"Younger yeah" Jackson agrees "better looking? Never mate"

Before Jackson knew what was happening Aaron lips were lowering onto his. The kiss was tender and sweet, at first Jackson's head was screaming at him to pull away, it was at war with his heart that said _"you're made for each other" _and he gave in. Slipping his hands up the inside of the suit jacket Aaron was wearing and pulling him closer. The kiss escalating from tender and sweet to passionate and fierce, they hadn't kissed each other in weeks.

Casey who was dancing with Jake only noticed when Jake said "Will that make your day better?" he said as he twirled her around to see what he could see. It did, her face lit up and a grin spread over her face quickly. Her day had been amazing but the site of them two, kissing, obviously back together or extremely close to going there made her grin all the more. "Yeah" she smiles "my day's perfect now"

When they pull apart they barely move, both sets of eyes still closed as they catch their breaths once again. "Can I come home?" Aaron whispers almost scared to ask. He needed to come home but unexpectedly Jackson roughly pulls away and walks off the dance floor, leaving a confused and hurt Aaron in his wake.

Xxx

In the two minutes or so that it took Aaron to recover from the shock Jackson was already outside. Aaron quickly ran after him. He spotted him, walking over the garden and he followed calling out his name.

After three tries Jackson finally stops, allowing Aaron to catch up. "What was that?" Aaron demands to know. Jackson turns to him and the pain and hurt on is clear for Aaron to see "Jackson?" he asks, worried now.

Looking his lover, his husband, the love of his life straight in the eyes he says "I started divorce proceedings yesterday. You'll more than likely get a letter on Monday"

Aaron was sure that if someone had punched him in the stomach he wouldn't feel as winded as he currently did. He hadn't seen that one coming; he didn't think Jackson would do that.

"Divorce?" he mumbles, staring at the ground "is that what you want?"

Rounding on him Jackson bursts angrily "You had a boyfriend Aaron! I saw him going into Dale View with you! Alright? It hurt! I wanted it to stop!"

"I told you nothing happened between him and me!" Aaron snaps "I just...I wanted to make you jealous!"

"Congratulations!" Jackson bites out bitterly "now we're getting divorced"

Aaron steps closer, closing the small gap and says "No we're not. That letter comes I rip it up and put it in the bin. It's you and me Jackson, until we die"

"How many times have we split up Aaron?" Jackson asks "Since we've been married?" Aaron counters "Twice, including this time"

Jackson sighs, that was the truth "I'm too old for this Aaron, we're too old to keep breaking up and getting back together"

"I know" Aaron says "But Jackson...I know what happened this time"

"Really? what?"

"We hadn't been alone, in that house for over twenty years. We just had to get used to it just being us again. We missed Casey and were taking it out on each other but now I miss you and I hate missing you. Let me come home"

"Let him come home Dad" Casey says appearing behind them in her wedding dress. They both turn towards her as she makes her way closer "You two need to be together. Look at you?" she says "You're miserable without each other"

"Casey..."

"No" she says "You two are more in love than anyone I've ever met. You've been through so much, so much that two normal people wouldn't have been able to handle, they would have walked away from each other, ran away but you two didn't" she turns to Aaron "before I was born and he had his accident, they thought he would be paralysed, everyone told you to get out, why didn't you?"

"Cause I love him" Aaron says looking directly at Jackson "I'd never run away from him, no matter what happened. I'd die for him"

"And you" Casey says "at the start of seeing him, all your mates told you he was bad news right? That you could do better, why didn't you listen? Especially after he hit you?"

"I was already too far gone" Jackson admits looking at Aaron "I already knew I was falling on love with him"

Casey grins "See, all those years ago you two were in love, you still are. Seeing each other with other guys kills you" she tells him "I knew what Dad was up to because I knew he was still in love with you. He couldn't be with someone else, no one would put up with him"

She steps closer to them and takes one of their hands "We need you back together" she tells them "We can't do it alone, I can't do it alone"

"We?" Aaron asks "You and Jake?"

Grinning Casey shakes her head and Jackson's eyes widen, he gets it "You're pregnant?" he says and Casey nods happily "No one knows yet, apart from us three. I haven't even told Jake. I wanted to tell you two first"

She turns to Aaron but he doesn't look happy, he's scowling "Dad?"

"I told you you weren't allowed to have sex until you were married now unless that's the quickest conception ever you didn't listen to me" he says, unable now to keep the smile from his face. Casey rolls her eyes "Oh, sorry" she smirks "I barely listen to you and anyway, did you two wait until you were married before you had sex?"

Aaron gives her a look

"Didn't think so, anyway" she say "My baby will need you two together because I'm going to need all the help I can get and who better than the best parents I know?"

They share a look and Jackson sighs "Why do I love you two so much?" he asks "You're both annoying"

"You can't live without us Daddy" she says throwing her arms around him "I'll leave you two alone"

Xxx

The silence drags on and neither of them are sure for how long exactly, Jackson breaks it first "You didn't sleep with him?"

Aaron shakes his head "I kissed him" he admits "Once. I hated it"

"Why did he stick around?"

Aaron shrugs "think he was hopeful but I was taken years ago"

Jackson nods "You wanna come home?"

"Yes please!" Aaron says with a smile "living at Dale View is killing me" he admits "Victoria is nuts as are her kids!"

Jackson laughs "don't let Adam hear you talk about his daughter's like that"

Aaron shrugs and closes the distance between them lifting Jackson's hand "I can take him...can I take you home"

Jackson rolls his eyes "is that all you think about? Still"

"Hey!" Aaron replies offended "I haven't had sex with you in weeks, can't blame a guy for missing it"

"It's our daughter's wedding"

"She won't care" Aaron informs him "in fact she'd encourage it"

"Later" he says grabbing Aaron's hand and pulling him back inside the marquee "and uh...that letter you get on Monday, bin it"

Aaron fits himself along the length of Jackson's back, kissing the side of his neck "I will" he says "but lets renew our vows eh? I want to"

Jackson turns in his arms and kisses him deeply "Really?"

"Really" he agrees "let's show everyone we still love each other"

Back inside the marquee Casey pulls them onto the dance floor so she can dance with them, they were both convinced they had never seen her so happy and when they told her about their plans she grinned widely, insisting she organise it and insisting that it be a grand affair. They wanted to say no but saying no to Casey had never worked before so they agreed to let her do what she wanted. As long as they stood up in front of their friends and family and after thirty two years together informed them of how much they still loved each other and showed them that they wouldn't be splitting up, they were happy because they knew that the next thing that would split them up would be one of them dying. The thought made both their hearts ache but they knew it was inevitable.

* * *

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


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